Simply Complicated (39 page)

“Baby, I need for you to think about this. If you need some time to reconsider then take it but don’t give up on us,” Ted pleaded, trying to convince her to stay.

“I have given it some thought. In fact, that’s all I seem to think about. I feel as if I’m going crazy. I’m tired of the roller coaster ride, baby. I have to get off. If we are meant to be together, we will find each other again. I love you, Ted. Goodbye,” she sobbed as she left the hotel room, tears streaming from her eyes.

Ted sat in shock. He could not believe that it was over between them. He didn’t know what to do next. He wanted to go after her but he could not move. He sat on the sofa, rubbed his face and stared at the ceiling. He already started to feel lost and alone and she had only been gone for a few minutes.

He was unsure what had just happened. One minute he and his lady were enjoying each other and the next they were no longer going to be together. He couldn’t lose her again. She had come to be a part of his life that he relied on and now she was gone.

Kristie wept uncontrollably as she sat in her car in the hotel parking lot. She knew she could not go home in this condition so she tried to compose herself. She really loved Ted but she knew they could not continue like that.

She was hoping he would chase after her to convince her to stay. When he did not, she realized that maybe she loved him more than he did her. She started questioning their entire relationship. She was angrier with herself for allowing their affair to get out of control.

If only we kept our relationship platonic then we wouldn’t be in this situation
, she thought as she hit the steering wheel in frustration.

After thirty minutes she decided to head home. Donald and the kids were gone when she arrived.

I’m so glad they are not here. I wonder how Ted is doing. I want to call him so badly but I know I shouldn’t. Damn, I miss him already. Maybe I acted too hastily when I broke up with him. I really love him and need him but I just can’t afford to continue to see him knowing he will never be completely mine.

I wonder why he doesn’t want to be with me. He says he loves me but not enough to leave. I wonder if he was telling me the truth about loving me. I want to believe him but sometimes it’s hard. I hate that I fell in love with him again. I have no one to blame but myself.

But how do I get past him? How can I move on without him? He has come to be a part of my world and I enjoyed having him there. Now I feel empty and lost. What the hell am I going to do? I am so confused. I hope he understands why I had to end things
, she began crying again as she wandered aimlessly through the house.

When Ted left the hotel he was still in a daze. He decided to call Kristie to see if they could talk. He hoped she did not go directly home. When she didn’t answer he decided to leave her a message.

“Hey baby, I’m calling because we really need to talk. I know you said it’s over but please give me a chance to speak with you about everything. I believe we owe it to ourselves to at least talk again. Whenever you’re ready and available, please call. I love you so much and I need you in my world,”
he begged, his voice breaking in the message.

After leaving his message he decided to go home. He knew Lynn and the children would be there waiting for him. When he arrived at the house, he couldn’t believe they were out at the movies. Lynn hadn’t wanted to go anywhere for the past several months.

He turned on the television, but wasn’t in the mood to watch anything. He thought about the proposal Kristie made about them divorcing their spouses in four years and getting married.

Why did she have to spring this on me now? I really want to be with her. I need to be with her. Damn. How can she expect me to just leave my family like that? I know Lynn has been a bitch lately but considering what she has gone through I can understand.

But I don’t want to pass up the opportunity to be truly happy. Life is too damn short for that. At least she did say she was willing to wait until our children are finished with high school before we leave. I know she loves me, especially if she’s willing to sacrifice everything so we can be together. It would be so wonderful to be back with my baby. This time I would be able to take care of her like I wanted to when I first met her,
he thought as he stared at the ceiling.

After her bath, Kristie picked up her cellular phone to check her messages. When she noticed that Ted had called her she quickly listened to the voicemail. Although she wanted to call him back, she decided it was best that they both took time to think about what they had talked about earlier.

Three months passed and Ted’s eldest son, Ted Jr., was graduating from high school within a few weeks. Lynn was still battling with depression and continued to alienate him and the children.

Some days Lynn was happy and others she was very sad and depressed. Ted did not want Rebecca and Jonathan to have to experience her mood swings so he tried to convince her to see Dr. Philips again but she refused.

He blamed himself for her depression. He felt guilty for convincing her to have the mastectomy. Her constant reminders helped him feel at fault.

Her depression was not only because of her mastectomy. She was also upset because she was unable to see her lover as she recovered from the surgeries. She really loved him and wanted
him
by her side, not Ted.

Deep down she wanted Ted to leave her so she could get more money from the divorce. This was one of the reasons she acted bitter towards him. She was trying to push him away so he would leave.

He tried to put her cruel words into perspective but she made it very difficult. He had long ago abandoned the notion of them being happy again. He was no longer the man he used to be—in control of his family, career, and his lover. His big case in Detroit required more of his time than he thought. He truly missed Kristie but between his trials and his children he had very little time to worry about fulfilling his desires and wants. He desperately tried regaining control of his life again.

Kristie and Donald were still having their own marital problems. She had become very frustrated with his unwillingness to compromise. He started going out more with his friends and spending less time with her.

She began wondering if he was having an affair. It had never crossed her mind before because she was always so busy with the children and taking care of him that she never stopped to notice his change in behavior.

Within the past two years he had started acting differently. At first she thought he was depressed because his business was suffering. His decline in his company really hit him hard. He was more moody and argumentative than before. She tried to be understanding.

Once he started making money again he continued to be distant from her. She wanted to talk to him about his behavior and her thoughts of him being unfaithful, but since she knew of her own infidelities she felt uncomfortable bringing the issue to the forefront.

One day she decided to go through his date book to see if she could find anything to confirm or deny her suspicions. In the twenty years of their marriage she had never gone through his things with the intention of seeing if he was unfaithful. She never had a reason to question his fidelity until now.

She waited for him to leave with the children for their traditional Saturday evening activity. She didn’t know where to begin, but started with his planner. She knew he could not survive without it. He took it everywhere and wrote down everything.

As she flipped through it she did not see anything out of the ordinary—a few meetings here and there with potential buyers. After going through it very carefully she could not find anything that stood out. As she was closing the planner a small piece of paper fell out.

There was no date on it but she could tell it was old. Initially she wasn’t going to read it but her curiosity grew. It was a note that read:
Last night was great. I cannot wait until the next time. Eternally, LF

Kristie’s mind raced
. What the hell is this? I guess he is seeing someone else. This is why he hasn’t been making love to me. What am I going to do? I can’t confront him about it because I’ve cheated on him with Ted.

Of course I only cheated because he barely makes love to me anymore. At least now I know why he has been distant all these years. Okay girl, you need to come up with a game plan. Why am I not crying? I should be crying hysterically by now. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I cry? I just found out that my husband of twenty years is having an affair and I’m not even crying.

What does this mean? I do love him; at least I think I do. Maybe I’ll fall apart later. Right now I need to figure out how I’m going to handle this situation. Maybe I should confront him when he returns with the children,
she thought to herself.

She decided to go back through his planner to see if he had any appointments scheduled with someone with the initials LF. There were several entries that read
meet with LF
. A few of the dates and times were in the evenings; most of them were on Sundays, which was his day to do what he wanted.

She then pulled his electronic calendar from his laptop so she could go back a few years. She was surprised to see that he and LF had been meeting for nearly eight years. There were other entries with other initials and meetings scheduled but most of them were with LF. She was shocked.

I cannot believe this. He has been seeing her for at least eight years and here I was feeling guilty for cheating on him with Ted
, she thought angrily.

After thoroughly going through his planner she changed her mind about talking to him that evening. Instead she decided she would gather more information before bringing everything out in the open.

I feel so alone. Maybe I can call Candace and talk with her. No, I can’t do that. I don’t want her in my business. She can’t keep a secret. I wish I could talk to Ted. I miss talking to him. I miss my friend,
she sat in despair.

She decided to call Ted anyway. When she called his cellular phone it went to voicemail. She left a message.

“Hello Ted; it has been a long time since we last spoke. I hope you and your family are okay. I was just calling to see how things are going. Give me a call whenever you can. Okay, bye,”
she said quickly, before she could change her mind.

Boy, that was harder than I thought it would be. I hope he’s not so angry with me that he doesn’t call me back,
she worried.

Within a few minutes of leaving her message Ted called her back.

“Hello,” said Kristie.

“Hey baby, how you have been?” he asked.

“Okay; and you?” she asked.

“I’m okay. Things could be better. I am so glad you called me. I have really missed you,” his voice immediately soothed her.

“I’ve missed you too. You sound good,” she said tenderly.

“You sound like something is wrong. Are you okay?” he asked.

“You were always able to tell when something was on my mind.”

“Of course—I’m supposed to. Remember, you are my soul mate; it’s my job to know what’s going on with you. You have been heavily on my mind in the past few weeks. I felt something was wrong. I wanted to call you but when you didn’t return my call when I last left a message, I thought it best to stay away,” he explained.

“I wanted to call you but I thought we both needed time to sort things out,” she said.

“And you were right. Now, what’s wrong?” he asked.

“This is going to sound weird especially considering our relationship. But I think my husband has been having an affair for the past eight years,” she answered.

“Wow! How did you find out?” he asked.

“He has been getting distant in the last four years. At first I thought it was because of his business troubles but now I’m thinking it’s because he met someone. We are barely intimate and when I’ve attempted to entice him he has rejected me. This has been happening for awhile now,” she explained.

“If you felt this way for years, why now are you thinking he’s cheating?” he replied.

Kristie tried to describe her suspicions, “Well, he has been going out more and our relationship continues to become more distant. We still get along well with each other but the romance and intimacy has gotten lost. It is to the point where I’ve stopped trying to seduce him and he makes little effort to make love to me.”

Ted’s surprise was evident, “Wow! How can he not want to be intimate with you? I can’t imagine being with you and not wanting to touch or hold you.”

Kristie ignored his comment and continued with her story, “I decided to go through his planner earlier today and as I was doing so, I came across a note that was given to him by someone with the initials LF. It read something like last night was great and I cannot wait to see you again.

“After I found the note I went through his computer calendar and discovered he has been meeting her for at least eight years. That’s how far the entries went. As far as I know it could have been longer. I don’t know what to do. I want to confront him but of course how can I judge him when you and I are involved with each other?”