Shadows (22 page)

I straighten my spine but it’s all bluff now. I’ve got nothing left. ‘That
fishing
village is my home.’

‘Gabriella.’ Even Nathaniel’s stillness demands attention. ‘I understand how confusing this must be, so I will
allow you some latitude. You may stay. For the moment.’

Like I need his permission.

‘But I will assign Rephaim to watch over you.’

‘No.’

‘That is not negotiable.’

‘Who?’

Nathaniel’s lips curve a little. Possibly a hint of a smile. ‘Taya and Malachi.’

‘Fuck. Off.’ I might not want Taya dead, but that doesn’t mean I want her in Pan Beach either.

‘Language, Gabriella.’

‘They’re injured,’ I say. But, of course, they won’t be for long. ‘Well, they’re sure as hell not staying with me.’

‘They can look after themselves.’

I lean back against the table. I am so
tired.
I want to get cleaned up and fall into bed. But first, I need to see Maggie.

‘I have to go.’

‘As you wish.’

I turn to Rafa. ‘Now?’

Rafa looks at Daniel when he answers. ‘Sure.’

His hand slides around my hips. I think I see Daniel’s nostrils flare before he gets himself under control.

‘Come near my friends again and I’ll cut your head off myself,’ I say to him.

Daniel opens his mouth, as if to respond.

‘Let’s go.’

The cicadas start up again as I lean into Rafa, so anything Daniel may have said in parting is lost in their noise.

And then we’re in that icy wind again. Rafa’s arms are around me. Warm. Snug. His fingers in my hair, his heart beating against mine. Usually it’s me clinging to him.

This time, he’s holding me just as tight.

We find Jason alone at the bungalow, sitting at the table with his head in his hands. My heart misses a beat.

‘Where’s Maggie? Is she safe?’

He nods, not looking up.

‘Where is she?’

‘With Simon.’

I’m holding my breath. I let it out. ‘But she’s okay?’

‘She’s fine.’

‘Why aren’t you with her?’

He lifts his head. His blue eyes are exhausted. ‘She doesn’t want to be around any of
us
right now.’

‘You just saved her.’

‘I’m still not human.’

Rafa shakes his head, and mutters something I can’t
catch. I push him out the way so I can sit down.

‘What happened?’ I lay the katana between us on the table.

‘I asked her if she trusted me before we left the cabin. She said she did, and then I shifted with her. When we got here, she couldn’t get away from me quickly enough.’

‘Didn’t you tell her you’ve never been a part of the Rephaim?’ I ask.

‘I didn’t get a chance. She wanted me to go back and get Simon.’

‘And then you let her walk out? After what just happened?’

Jason rubs his forehead. ‘What else could I do? I wasn’t going to force her to stay here with me.’

Rafa wanders over to the sink. ‘Man up, Goldilocks. She’s had a big couple of days.’

Coming from him, that’s almost sensitive.

‘Do you know where they went?’ I ask.

Jason shrugs. ‘Rick’s, probably.’

So that’s where we’re going. I stand up as Zak and Ez walk through the door. They were polite enough to arrive in the hallway, on the off-chance we’re not alone.

‘Where’s your friend?’ Ez asks.

She’s still covered in Mick’s blood and is sporting a fading bruise on her cheek, above her scar. I touch my own face. The split skin has mended and my cheek is nowhere
near as tender. Rafa must have healed me on the way here. He, on the other hand, is still bleeding from the shoulder.

‘Gone out for a drink.’

‘I don’t blame her,’ Ez says. ‘I could go for one myself.’

‘What happened with the Butlers?’

Ez rubs her right shoulder, and Zak absently begins to massage the muscle. ‘We dropped them off at casualty,’ he says. ‘An ambulance pulled in as we got there. Ez told them we’d been hiking and found them in a gully. Then we got out of there.’

Rafa breathes out heavily. ‘Those two are going to be a problem.’

‘What do you want to do about it?’

‘Nothing tonight.’

Zak nods. ‘We might head back to Mexico for a few hours.’

I find the energy to stand up. ‘Thanks, guys. I really appreciate what you did tonight. I know Mags does too.’

Ez is tired, but her smile reaches her eyes. ‘It’s just good to be on the same side again.’ She gives me a quick hug.

Zak holds out his hand as if to shake mine, but when I reach for him, he hauls me to his huge chest and slaps me between the shoulderblades. ‘Hang in there, kid. We’ve got your back.’

I’m glad they shift quickly, because I’m so tired and emotional right now I might cry. Again.

I pull myself together. ‘Are we safe?’ I ask Rafa.

‘For a while. Nathaniel’s backed off for tonight, and the demons won’t come into town.’

‘Why not?’

‘They lost another hellion tonight and they’ll think you’re under Nathaniel’s protection. They won’t be in a hurry to face him again so soon. Not without reinforcements anyway.’

‘I need to go to Rick’s and see Mags. Will you come with me?’

‘Sure.’

‘And you?’ I ask Jason.

‘I can’t take seeing that look in her eyes again tonight.’

‘Jason—’

‘I’m going to respect Maggie’s wishes. I’ll go back to the hotel so she can come home.’

‘I’d rather you were here.’

The pencil that Simon used to draw the map is still on the table. He reaches for it and sets it to spin.

‘I mean it,’ I say. ‘We’ve still got a few things to sort out.’

He looks at Rafa and then back at me. His shoulders sag. ‘I’ll go to the hotel and shower,’ he says. ‘Then I’ll come back.’

‘Tonight?’

He sighs. ‘Tonight.’ But makes no move to go.

I run my fingers through my hair and find the claw
marks on my scalp almost healed. The cuts on my neck and arm are pretty good too, no seeping blood. I clean myself up at the kitchen sink. My fingers linger on the hellion bite, and I look around for Maggie’s scarf.

‘Just wear your hair down,’ Rafa says.

I take it out and let it fall to my collarbone, check myself in the reflection of the microwave. ‘Got another plan?’

‘It’s fine.’ Rafa turns me towards him and tousles the ends of my hair so it sits over the scar. ‘It’ll be fine.’

I grab a handful of tissues and gesture to his bleeding shoulder. He looks downs and shrugs. I gently dab at the wound. He watches me, his eyes dark in this light. Then he takes the bloodied tissues from me and tosses them into the bin. I catch Jason’s attention one last time.

‘See you back here in an hour.’

He nods.

‘I don’t care if Mags is talking to you or not. You and I are finishing that conversation.’

Rafa raises his eyebrows at me.

‘Later,’ I say and head down the hallway and out the front door.

I pause at the top of the steps and lean on the post. The hill looks steeper than it did a few hours ago.

‘Do you want to cheat?’

Rafa is so close I feel his breath on my neck. I lean against him. I feel his heartbeat as he wraps his arms around me, and then the deck is gone, and I’m crushed again by cold and noise. And then it’s over. We’re behind a recycling skip out the back of the bar, stale beer and rum in the air.

I disentangle myself from Rafa, surprised at how little dizziness I feel this time, and walk up the narrow alley between the bar and the neighbouring shop. I straighten my clothes before I step out onto the street. And then I’m breathing in that wonderful salty air. The surf is rolling in
beyond the lights and poincianas. Lorikeets still chatter in the trees. The hoodie brigade are laughing and smoking on a bench across the road. At least some things are constant. The smell of wood-fired pizza from Rick’s kitchen reminds me I haven’t eaten.

We move through the Tuesday night crowd outside the bar, weaving around stools and wine barrels. Maggie isn’t at our usual window position. I push my way inside.

It’s cheap sangria night, so there are plenty of girls lined up around the bar, and plenty of guys jostling to pay, including Jacques, the artist. He raises his wine glass and winks at me. It’s hard to believe that only a few days ago he was the weirdest person I knew.

‘—tore up by something. Deb reckons those huge feral cats are back.’

A snatch of conversation pulls me up short.

‘Your sister’s full of shit.’

‘She bandaged him up, dickwad. I think she’d know.’

‘What’s Mick’s say?’

‘Dunno. He’s still out of it. So’s Rusty.’

‘Dude, if there’s something on the mountain big enough to take down those pricks, we’re all fucked.’

I spot Maggie and Simon, huddled together at a table in the corner, near the jukebox. She’s changed into jeans and a navy polo shirt, and her hair is tied back. She startles when she sees me, rises, as if to come and meet us, but
then falters. By the time we reach her, she’s just standing there, her arms wrapped around her chest.

‘You okay?’ I reach out and brush her arm.

When she flinches, Simon is straight up out of his chair. ‘Get away from us before I call the cops. I should have called them already, but Mags said—’

‘Calm down,’ I say quietly.

‘Calm down?’ Simon eyes are unforgiving. ‘Those
psychos
wanted you, not Mags. I can’t believe you dragged her into this. It’s all your—’

‘Sit
down
and shut your mouth,’ Rafa says.

Simon and Maggie drop back into their seats as if he’s knocked them there. Rafa takes two chairs from a nearby table and we sit down.

‘Those
psychos
locked Gabe in a cage with one of those monsters you saw tonight, so don’t fucking whine about this being her fault.’

Maggie’s face crumples when Rafa mentions the hellion.

‘And you know that’s true,’ Rafa says to Simon, ‘because you saw the marks on her neck this morning, didn’t you?’

Simon doesn’t answer, but Maggie is crying now. She finally looks at me. ‘Oh, babe, is that true?’

I swallow the lump in my throat. ‘I am
so
sorry, Mags. I had no idea they would grab you—’

She hugs me fiercely, burying her face in my neck. Her hair still smells of cherry blossom.

Tears leak down my cheeks. I’m crying in public. I don’t care.

‘What about Rusty and Mick?’ Simon is less certain now.

‘They’re getting patched up,’ Rafa says. ‘They’ll survive, if they keep their mouths shut. Same goes for you.’

The room contracts to me and Maggie and I pull back from her so I can see her. ‘Did they hurt you? Did they do anything you didn’t want them to?’

She shakes her head. ‘Taya threatened to break my legs if I tried to escape, but she never laid a hand on me. None of them did.’

‘Not even Malachi?’

She shakes her head again.

‘Was anyone else at the cabin?’

‘Just Micah, mostly. He seemed pretty stoked that you were alive. And then there was Daniel.’ She gives me a sheepish smile and out of the corner of my eye I see Rafa roll his eyes and settle back to crowd-watching. ‘He was very polite. He asked a lot of questions about you.’

‘What sort of questions?’

‘How we met, what you’re like. If I’d ever seen you fight.’ She shakes her head. ‘I told him you had a temper but you didn’t know how to fight—and then you turned up tonight swinging that sword…Those things, those hellions…they’re what you dream about?’ She shudders. ‘They’re hideous.’

‘Yeah, I know.’

I’m not sure Simon can take any more talk about hellions. He’s staring across the bar, eyes blank.

‘Look, Mags, about Jason…He’s been beside himself since Taya grabbed you.’

‘Don’t, Gaby. He had so many chances to tell us who he was, and he didn’t.’

‘He has his reasons. And he told me when it counted.’

‘I don’t care.’ She looks away. ‘That night on the couch at Rafa’s, we talked about a lot of pretty intense stuff. And he said some things to me…If he meant them, then the least he owed me was the truth.’

I put a hand on her arm. She’s trembling. ‘He’s never been a part of the Rephaim. Until tonight, none of the others knew he existed—not even Nathaniel. Especially Nathaniel. He risked all that to come get you.’

At Nathaniel’s name, Rafa brings his boot up to rest on his knee. ‘Poor little Goldilocks,’ he says under his breath and taps the table to get Simon’s attention. ‘Hey, barkeep, any chance of a beer?’

Simon slowly focuses on him. Then he takes the last swig out of his own bottle. ‘Only if you’re buying.’

Rafa fishes notes out of his pocket and pushes them across the table. As soon as Simon is out of earshot, Rafa turns to Maggie. ‘What did Daniel say to you?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘What did he say to make you so twitchy when we walked in?’

Maggie picks at her nails. I thought she was just freaked out by what she’d seen. It hadn’t crossed my mind there was more to it.

‘It’s okay,’ Rafa says. ‘You can tell us.’

She finally looks up, at me rather than Rafa. ‘Daniel said you’d done a deal with
demons.
He said you and Jude cared more about finding the Fallen than you did about protecting people like me. That if the Fallen got loose, millions of people would die.’ She tears part of her nail free. ‘And I know you don’t remember what happened before you came here…’

I can only stare at her.

‘Daniel doesn’t believe Gabe made a deal with demons any more than I do.’ Rafa knocks his knee against Maggie’s. ‘Pretty Boy was trying to scare you into spilling whatever secrets Gabe’s told you. You can’t trust a word that comes out of his mouth—’

‘I know, I know,’ Maggie says quickly. ‘It’s just, this is all so crazy.’

‘No shit,’ I say. I smile at her and she smiles back. Some of the tightness eases at the base of my skull. We might still be okay.

‘I’ve got a theory,’ Rafa says.

‘Spill it.’

‘Bel says he took your head. But you’re still alive, and it’s obvious he has no idea how that’s possible. He says Jude begged for your life, but he definitely doesn’t have him as a prisoner—or trophy— or we would’ve heard about it long before now.’

‘Keep going.’

‘You dream about scuffles Jude’s had with hellions. You dream about me’—his mouth quirks—’and you knew about the Dark Thoughts blog. And the brother you remember is like some idealised version of Jude—’

‘And then there’s the Foo Fighters,’ Maggie says.

Rafa frowns, and Maggie holds out her hand. ‘Give me a dollar.’

He hands her the coin. She goes to the jukebox and picks a song. The single guitar note starts up as she sits back down. Maggie holds up a hand to stop Rafa inter-rupting. She watches me closely.

‘Go on,’ she says. ‘You know it, don’t you? But you didn’t before.’

Of course I know the tune—Jude played it all the time, but I’d never paid attention to the lyrics. Except, of course, I know them by heart now.

Rafa is looking from me to Maggie. ‘And?’

‘Didn’t Jude love these guys?’

‘Holy shit.’ Rafa is looking at me, but it’s not me he’s seeing.

‘So? Rafa?’

‘He must have had a hand in messing with your memories.’

I frown. ‘Is that possible? I mean, could he do that?’

‘No, but—’

‘Then why say it?’

‘Because it’s the only thing that makes sense.’

‘But that means he was still alive after I got hurt.’ The muscles across my breastbone constrict. ‘If he’s been alive all this time, why haven’t you heard from him? Why haven’t I?’

‘Maybe he’s hurt. Maybe he’s being held somewhere. Maybe he’s in a coma.’

Or maybe we did something so bad, the only way Jude could protect me was by making me forget and then disappearing himself.

The song ends and in the quiet, Maggie says, ‘Maybe he doesn’t know who he is either.’

I watch this register on Rafa’s face. The idea that Jude is out there somewhere, as defenceless as I was; the thought Jude might think I’m dead too. I feel like vomiting. Rafa looks the same way.

‘That means he found a way to change your memories and then let someone change his,’ Rafa says.

I want this to be true so badly, I can barely breathe.

‘He couldn’t do that alone…’

Rafa doesn’t finish the sentence, but it needs to be said.

‘It would involve doing a deal with someone who’s not human, wouldn’t it?’

Rafa grabs a coaster and taps it on the table in time with the new song grinding out of the jukebox. ‘Nathaniel doesn’t have that sort of power, so it can’t be one of the Fallen, and the Garrison hates us, so it’s not them. Demons definitely don’t have the juice —and if Bel thinks he killed you, then maybe his memories about the attack have been messed with too.’

‘Then who did it? And why?’

Simon is on his way back, carrying four beers by their necks.

Rafa leans in closer. ‘That’s what we’re going to find out.’

I like the way he says ‘we’. Like there’s no option except the two of us doing this together. Maggie looks from me to Rafa and back again.

‘What?’ I say.

A small smile. ‘Nothing.’

Simon puts the beers on the table a little too hard.

‘What is it?’ Maggie asks.

‘Rick’s jeep is still up the mountain.’

Rafa sighs. ‘You want me to drop you back up there?’

Simon looks at him, a faint crease in his brow, and then his eyes widen when he realises what Rafa’s offering. ‘I don’t want anything from you—and sure as hell not
that
.’

‘I agree.’

Rafa raises his eyebrows at me.

‘I don’t think anyone should be wandering up there alone any time soon. Simon came through for us tonight—’

‘And now he’s—’

‘—and the least we can do is keep him out of strife with his brother.’

Rafa holds my gaze for a few seconds, and then pulls his phone out. He taps the screen, waits, and then says: ‘Zak—one last favour.’ He turns away, so I can’t hear the rest of his conversation.

I grab my drink and down nearly half the bottle in three gulps. Beer has never tasted this good.

Simon watches me, fascination mixed with something else. Fear, maybe.

‘What are you?’ he says.

‘Thirsty,’ I say, and manage a tired smile.

His face softens, like it always does when I smile at him, but then the wall comes straight back up. ‘You know what I mean.’

‘Didn’t Mags tell you?’

‘I tried,’ she says. ‘He didn’t want to know.’

‘She can explain it when you’re ready.’ I tap Maggie’s glass. ‘Are you coming home tonight? I need to talk to Jason about a few things, so I told him to come back after he’s cleaned up.’

‘I don’t know. I need time.’

Simon picks up the coaster Rafa was playing with and adds it to the neat stack in the middle of the table. ‘Are we safe?’ he asks.

‘Yeah,’ I say. ‘It’s over.’

Rafa ends the call as I finish my beer. ‘Done,’ he says.

‘Good.’ I stand up. ‘I need to sleep.’

Maggie hugs me again.

‘Please come home tonight,’ I say, quietly. ‘There’s stuff I want to talk to you about.’

It’s the best gift I have for her, and when she gives me one last squeeze, I know we’re going to be okay.