Shadow of Hope: Book 4 - Shadow Series (14 page)

Violet felt horrible that she’d spoiled their wedding night.  She’d wanted him to make love to her, so badly.  She’d hoped that once he’d made love to her, the nightmares and fright would vanish.  She guessed it wouldn’t be that easy.

After church, Violet and Miles sat in Reverend Martin’s office, waiting for him.  He said he’d meet them there, after he shook hands with the congregation.  

When he finally came in, Violet felt ashamed to discuss the topic with him.  Miles squeezed her hand to give her support.

“Congratulations, you two.  Yes, the marriage was legal.  What could possibly be troubling you two?” he asked.

Violet looked to Miles for help.

“We have a slight problem—my lovely wife has been traumatized by the beast who attacked her and—”

“Say no more, Miles.  I think I get the picture.  As you know, I spoke at length with ‘the beast’ and so I understand both sides of the story.  She was, indeed, almost raped, and it’s sometimes difficult to adjust and to be intimate so soon after something so violent.

He spoke directly to Miles. “You need to know that God, along with your help, will restore Violet so that you can have a normal, loving intimacy, as was His plan for married couples. 

“The traumatized person needs understanding and compassion to heal.  It will take prayers and faith.  There is no one who loves marital sex more than God, who created it.  He will insure that you have a normal and healthy relationship in time.

“Now,” he turned to Violet, “the first thing you need to do is to forget that you were a victim and concentrate on being a survivor.  Thankfully, Miles rescued you so that you didn’t have to be completely ruined.  That’s in your favor, but it doesn’t make it any easier for you.  Always think of Miles as the one who saved you, your knight in shining armor.

“Are you having nightmares?”  he asked.

She nodded.

“Sometimes, God allows bad things to happen to us for a reason, and that might be, for example, so that you can help someone else someday, because you’ve experienced what it feels like.

“Don’t forget to talk to God about your feelings and ask him to help you.  ‘Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.’” (Psalm 55:22); “’Cast they burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee.’

“Unfortunately, there are no magic words, and no magical pill.  Time, patience, and prayer heal.  I will suggest a few things that may help in the meantime.  Since you two were obedient to God and didn’t have intimacy before marriage, it might be a good idea to take things slowly, keep in mind that marriage came suddenly, and neither of you were prepared.”

He turned back to Miles.  “Miles, you need to touch her slowly in an intimate place, probably the chest area, first.  Gentle and slow.  And all the while talk to her, and let her see you, don’t do it in the dark.  She needs to see that it’s the man she loves touching her.”

“Gradually Increase the touching, pray before each touching session, and do keep the affection that I see between you alive.  I can tell by the way you look and act with each other that this will pass quickly.”

“Will you be seeing McKenzie again?” Miles asked.

“Yes.  I told him to come back in a month, after he tries some therapies I suggested,” he said.

“Well, tell him something for me. Tell him I won’t report his behavior to the school council, if he promises to stay away from Abilene.  I don’t want him in our town.  Can you do that?” Miles asked.

“I will relay the message, and I think it’s a fair request.”

“Let us pray,” he said.  They bowed their heads and prayed about the problems.

That evening, Miles left the light on and worked on their therapy.  It seemed to work, and Violet didn’t jerk away or panic.  He wondered if they’d have been all right if only he’d left the light on that first night, but he was determined to do as Martin had said, take it slowly.  After a few minutes of touching he stopped, kissed her goodnight, turned out the light, and they both went to sleep.

In the morning, as he dressed for work, he smelled coffee.  He sighed.  A wife was more than someone to cuddle and make love to; now he had someone to care for him as well. 

He met her in the kitchen and embraced her.  “You’ve made coffee!  Thank you!”

Violet poured them both a cup and they sat at the kitchen table enjoying their coffee.   

“Miles, you won’t doubt my love for you because of my problem, will you?” she asked, setting her cup gently into the saucer.

“No.  It isn’t your fault.”  He reached over and caressed her hair and kissed her forehead.  “Things went well last night, and tonight we’ll go a bit further.  You’ll see.  It will be fine.” He took a long drink of his coffee.  “And you sure make a great pot of coffee.”

“I’m so afraid you’ll think less of me because I cheated you out of a wedding night,” she said with a pout.

“Cheated?  Don’t be ridiculous.  I didn’t marry you just for that.  I married you because I love you more than anything, and I want to be with you, to see you every day and to be able to come up to you like this and hold you anytime I want.”

She rested her head on his chest.  “I’m going to spend the whole morning praying for a fast healing.”

“I love my job, but for the first time ever, I don’t want to go in—I want to stay here all day with you. However, we’ll have bills to pay, so off I go.  I’ll be home around five fifteen, because I’ll run the whole way.”  He gave her another passionate kiss and left. 

Violet, true to her word, fell to her knees in the sitting room and spent time in prayer and reading her Bible. 

Violet decided to surprise Miles with a delicious dinner.  She felt since she couldn’t satisfy him one way, she’d make up for it in other ways.  She walked to the butcher’s shop and bought a small roast, brought it home, and made the special sauce her mother used, and poured it over the roast.  She then cut up potatoes and carrots, and put them all into a covered pan and into the cook stove’s oven.  She hoped it worked.  She lit the stove and crossed her fingers.  She could feel the oven’s heat after a few minutes, and knew the oven worked just fine.

While the meat cooked, she started to clean the house.  Miles was fairly neat, but not too good at scrubbing, so she spent most of the morning scouring floors.  A pounding on the door caused her to almost slip on the wet floor when she scurried to answer it.  A man she didn’t recognize stood on the porch. 

“You need to come quickly, Mrs. Croft.  The bank’s been robbed and your husband has been shot.”

Violet let out a small scream and followed the messenger.   As she ran, she thought about everything—that if he died, she’d die too, and if he died, it would be without them ever having consummated their marriage, and it was all her fault.  Her mind seemed to focus solely on his dying. 

She prayed as she ran.

When she approached the bank, people were crowded outside the building, but the man who’d brought her pushed them aside and ushered her in.  She found Miles sprawled on the bank floor with a large red stain on his shirt front.  She squealed and ran to him.  A doctor she didn’t know was ripping off his shirt and making a bandage for his chest.  He’d been shot on the right shoulder, she prayed as she knelt down beside him.

“Don’t you leave me, Miles,” she said, sternly.  “I’ll never forgive you if you do.”

He was barely conscious, so she wasn’t sure if he'd heard her or not.  His eyes were open and he was breathing, but he didn’t seem to react to her. Shortly thereafter the doctor pressed on his wound and he lost consciousness. 

Violet didn’t cry.  She was too frightened to cry and she knew it would be fruitless.  Tears wouldn’t help, but prayer would.  She prayed as hard as she could.  At some point she realized the doctor was speaking to her.

“Mrs. Croft?”

“Yes,” she said.

“I’m going to get some help so we can bring him home.  I can care for him better there.”

Violet ushered the doctor and the men carrying Miles to the bedroom—their bedroom.  She pulled down the quilt, and they laid him on the sheet, and the doctor began working on him again.

As he worked, Violet asked him, “Will he be all right?”

The doctor shrugged.  “I can’t tell yet.  Nothing vital was hit, but the fall to the hard floor may have caused some damage. He’ll most likely survive unless infection sets in, but I’m worried about his head injury.  He didn’t seem aware when I came on the scene.”

Violet sighed. She had to get news to Julia.  She ran out and asked one of the young lads who’d carried Miles in for a favor.  She gave him a dollar and asked him to tell Julia Armstrong what had happened.  Then she scurried back to Miles.

The doctor asked for clean rags, hot water and whiskey, but she had no idea where to find those things.  She’d just started living there, but she went to the linen closet and pulled out a sheet, which the doctor ripped into strips.  She put water on to boil, and when it was hot she brought it to him in a pan. 

“I’ll need you to hold him down. Where’s the whiskey?” he asked.

“He isn’t a drinking man, so we have none,” she said.

“Run down to the saloon and get some.  Hurry!”

Luckily the saloon was empty, and the barman sold her a bottle of whiskey that she brought back and handed to the doctor. 

The doctor was digging inside Miles’s wound, and Miles had started thrashing about.  The doctor grabbed the bottle, opened it with his teeth, and poured some down Miles’s throat, which caused him first to choke, and then to cough, and then he went out like a light.  The doctor didn’t miss a beat as he continued to dig for the bullet.  When he was finally done, he held out his hand.  Violet put hers out, and the doctor dropped the bullet into it. 

“We got it,” the doctor said with a smile.

He poured whiskey into the wound and wrapped it tightly with the strips of sheets.

“Well, Mrs. Croft, that’s the best I can do.  Just watch him for signs of fever. Send for me if he starts to feel hot—I live over the new shoe store on Main Street.   Give him plenty of liquids, any way that you can.  Good day.”

The smell of meat cooking reminded Violet of her dinner. She ran to the stove and turned it off. 

There would be no dinner that night.

Julia arrived, and she and Violet sat at Miles's bedside.  He still hadn’t gained consciousness, even though several hours had passed.

Caleb came in with food from Pete’s for everyone.    There was nothing they could do at that point but wait.  Julia and Violet kept trying to squeeze water into his mouth, but it just ran down his chin.

Caleb finally took Julia home, and Violet got ready for bed.  She’d retrieved her clothes and possessions that Sunday after church, so she had some nightgowns, but she still preferred the shirt Miles had given her. 

She slipped it on, turned off the light, and snuggled against the contours of Miles’s body.  What bothered her most was that because of her hang-up, they had never consummated the marriage.  She promised herself, and told God in her prayers, that if Miles recovered, she would make sure it happened.  She begged God to give her another chance to make their marriage real. 

Early the next morning a hand squeezing hers awakened her.  She opened her eyes to see him gazing down at her.  

“I’m sorry I missed dinner,” he said.

“Oh, Miles!  You’re all right!” she squealed.

“They didn’t get the money.  I stopped them,” he said proudly.

“Yeah, you stopped them with your shoulder,” she said.  “Does it hurt much?”

“A bit.  I also have a headache.”

“You hit the floor, hard, they said.”

“I didn’t get a kiss today,” he said.  “That’s spousal neglect, you know.”

She sat up on her knees and kissed his lips.  He tried to prolong the kiss but she pulled away.  “You’re in no condition for that, Miles.  You need to drink water.  I’m off to get you some,” she said, sliding off the bed.

“I thought you brought all of your clothes here,” he said.

“I did, but I prefer to wear your shirt, so I feel closer to you,” she said with a smile. 

She brought him fresh water, and he drank almost all of it.   “I was parched,” he said.

“Julia and Caleb were here to see you, and Caleb said Mr. Lebold is stopping by to see you today.”

Miles nodded, and then grimaced.  “Don’t forget our therapy.  Let’s do it now, before Julia or Lebold come.  Come here, Mrs. Croft.”

Violet sat on her knees beside him, still wearing his shirt.  Miles reached up, and slipped his hand beneath the shirt, and touched her bare chest. 

As he touched her, she gently stopped him, and cuddled up beside him.  “As soon as you’re better we’ll try it again.  Your touching is working—too well, I might add.  I think if we leave the light on, the next time, I’ll be okay.”

“You do know it will hurt at first, so be prepared.  I hate the thought of hurting you but there really is no other way, sweetheart.”

“I know, but if I can see you the whole time, I think I can do it.”

“
Now
you tell me!” He sighed.  “I wish you’d have told me that on our wedding night, now we still have to wait.”

“It’ll be worth it, Miles,” she said seductively.

“I know it will,” he said, as he played with her hair. “Do you realize it’s been almost three years since I first fell in love with you, and dreamed of making you mine?”

“Impossible, only two and a half,” she said.

“No.  I fell head over heels in love with you the first time you walked into the bank with your father.”

“Really?”

He raised his right hand slightly.  “I swear.” Then he flinched, as that was his sore arm.

That afternoon, Mr. Lebold came in and praised Miles, but told him that next time he should let the bandits take the money, because a good manager like him would be hard to replace. 

Julia and Caleb visited and they brought enough food with them to last for days. 

Julia thanked God in her daily prayers that Miles was healing and had no head injury.  She also asked him to bless their marriage and bless their consummation, when it occurred.