Read Sexy and Funny, Hilarious Erotic Romance Bundle Online

Authors: Mimi Strong

Tags: #Fiction, #Romance, #Collections & Anthologies, #General, #Contemporary, #Erotica

Sexy and Funny, Hilarious Erotic Romance Bundle (29 page)

BOOK: Sexy and Funny, Hilarious Erotic Romance Bundle
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He swirled his fingertips in a circle, then up and down. For the second time, Dalton Deangelo had me wrapped around his fingers, literally.

I was breathing heavily and audibly as he withdrew his fingers, dragging the damp tips up along my lower stomach.

He suddenly grabbed hold of me by the hips and yanked my lower body along the cushioned seat. I gasped in surprise, then began to giggle as he pulled my butt down farther and my head bonked against the side of the trailer’s interior.

“Oops,” he said, stopping to rub my head with one hand.

Laughing, I pushed his hand out of my hair. “I’m fine. Your trailer might be twenty-eight feet long, but it’s not very wide, is it?”

“Wide enough.” He gave me another strong yank, so I was flat on my back on the cushions. He stood and tugged my shoes off one at a time, then removed my bright blue jeans.

I held my legs together shyly and angled my knees away from him, still with my panties on.

“Those are nice,” he said.

“They’re new.” I glanced down at my cream-colored panties with the contrasting black lace highlights.

“I meant these.” He positioned himself at my legs and kissed one knee and then the other. “Nice legs.” He slid his hands up and down my thighs, making me shiver with his touch.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

He pried my knees apart and started kissing my inner thighs. I arched my back and tried to quiet my thoughts. Another moan escaped my lips, and I found a place within me that was calm.

His voice husky, he said, “I’m going to pull those sweet panties off with my teeth.”

He reached under me and easily hoisted my lower body so he could remove my panties. True to his promise, he used not just his hands, but his teeth to pull them off and all the way down my legs and off over my feet.

“Brr,” I joked, because the trailer was quite warm. I pulled my legs back together and angled my knees away again.

“Let me see you.” He stared deep into my eyes as I let my knee fall to the side, opening myself to him. His gaze moved down, his face serious, then smiling.

He whispered, “I like what I see. Let’s get that shirt off.”

Half the buttons had already come undone with all the excitement. I covered my chest with my hands. “Oh, now you want to see the peaches?”

He raised his dark, sexy eyebrows. “Yes, I do. Come on, Peaches, show me your… peaches.” He shook his head, grinning. “I can’t believe you made me say that.”

“I didn’t make you say anything.”

“With those eyes of yours? You have all the power here.”

I batted my eyelashes up at him.

He leaned over and finished unbuttoning my blouse, the pearl buttons tiny and delicate under his thick fingers. I shifted around so he could get the blouse off.

“Your bra matches your panties,” he said. “Okay, I’ve noticed. Now take it off.”

Unlatching the bra, I released my peaches. They’re not the biggest fruit in the orchard, just a D-cup, and I do get self-conscious about my large hips making me look bottom-heavy, even though D-cups are a respectable size.

I held my hands over my breasts demurely.

Dalton asked, “Are we playing peek-a-boo?”

“More like strip poker, only without cards, and I’m totally losing. Are you wearing more clothes than when I got here?”

He sat up, undid the buttons at the neck of his polo shirt, and whipped it off over his head. As the shirt came off, the scent of his body, mixed with a nice cologne, reached my nose. He smelled as good as he looked, all lean and muscular, with those bumps of muscles where most guys I’d been with had love handles.

“Are you for real?” I asked, daring to press one bare foot against his stomach. Either he was naturally hairless or waxed, because his chest and stomach was completely smooth. Under my toes, his flesh was hot and firm.

His jeans were still on, but I could see evidence of his manhood, long and thick and standing at attention behind the fabric.

My foot moved down, stroking that rigid rod.
Mamma mia!
His soldier was trying to make a jail break, out the waistband.

Dalton caught my foot and brought it up to his cheek as he sat on the banquette next to my inner calf. He stroked his jaw against the sensitive inside of my foot. I’d never had a man touch me quite like that, and it felt incredibly intimate and hot.

He kissed the sole of my foot, in the arch. “You have lovely feet.” He raised his dark eyelashes and gazed at me, his green eyes devilish. “You have lovely everything. Move your hands and show me the peaches.”

I pulled my hands away. “They’re not the biggest fruits in the orchard.”

“Yum yum.” He pulled away, moving his butt off the seat and kneeling next to me. My leg went over his shoulder, and he brought his face down between my legs.

Oh!

First a tentative lick, splitting the swollen flesh into two sides. Then deeper, harder. Hot and wet. Tongue on pussy.

I arched my back, my breathing coming in ragged gasps.

His beautiful head was between my legs, and it felt so good.

This man had clearly been to Pussy School. He licked, sucked, and swirled his tongue in a way I’d never imagined possible. I mean, I’d heard about such things, but never experienced them. I couldn’t even tell anymore what exactly was happening. Fingers and tongue were inside me, all over me, stroking the pink satin lining and teasing my nub.

My clit took a nibble, inflating with desire. It felt like a little fist down there, expanding and tingling with every coaxing stroke.

“Uh-oh,” I said between gasps.

He murmured between my legs, his breath hot on my skin, “Uh-oh?”

“Oh! Yes?”

He growled into me, a wordless vibration that made me lose my mind. One hand kept busy betwixt my legs, and the other reached up to stroke my breast, gently pinching my nipple.

My muscles under his tongue pulsed, and a blast of goodness tore up my middle, puddling in my belly and turning my brain to soft, gooey caramel.

“Uh-oh,” I said, coming.

My muscles pulsed, and I peaked quickly, coming down to earth after a few ragged breaths.

He eased back and kissed my leg, his chin moist. “You came already?”

“Yeah. Sorry.”

“Why apologize?”

I held my hand over my face, unable to meet his gaze. “I don’t know. I guess it just seems rude of me to go first like that, before I did anything for you.”

He took a mouthful of my thigh and gave me a gentle bite. “I enjoyed feeling you blossom like a flower. It was beautiful. Plus I am a patient boy.”

“Boy?” I removed my hand from my face and propped myself up on my elbows to look Dalton in the eyes. “You’re all man.”

He gave me an innocent look. “When I’m with a captivating woman, I’m just a boy again.”

As we stared at each other, he moved his hand back between my legs and clutched at my pussy. I shivered, feeling sensitive. He swept his thumb over my clit, and a strange sensation flooded me. My eyes hurt, like I might start to cry at any second.

I pushed his hand away and sat up. “Take off your pants,” I said.

“Sure, but let’s make a voyage together. About twenty-eight feet.”

“To the bedroom?”

“Unless you want to try the stand-up shower?”

“Bedroom it is. You first.” I waved him ahead of me.

He walked, stripped off his jeans and boxer shorts, then climbed up onto the bed platform, showing off his cute bare butt.

Seeing his rear view was a nice bonus, but the main reason I’d sent him ahead was so he didn’t see my tush jiggling in front of him and then blocking the narrow doorway as I climbed onto the bed.

My body confidence is decent, but there are limits. I guarded the back-side view, so I could stay confident.

“Hurry up,” he urged, patting the red sheets next to him.

“I feel like I’m getting into a big animal’s mouth,” I said as I climbed onto the bed. “With the red sheets, this bed is like the tongue.”

Dalton laughed. “You’re right.” He took a long, appreciative look at me directly, and then again, using the mirror on the ceiling. “That mirror’s okay after all,” he said.

“Can the lights be dimmer?”

He reached for a switch and lowered the brightness of the sconces, then turned them completely off. The cave-like bedroom was still glowing with the golden rays of the sun setting over the lake, the light coming in through a sliver of a window.

When he saw me staring, he said, “Quite the view, isn’t it?”

At that moment, a flock of ducks landed on the lake, next to some cattails.

I turned back and looked at the hot man waiting for my full attention. Now he seemed so relaxed, but my lust had been partially quenched, and so I was feeling nervous again. The tiny bedroom at the back of the Airstream might be described by some as cozy, but it was also freaking small.

I decided to focus on the task at hand, so I got to work on that fine-looking beast I had roused from its trouser slumber. I hardly even looked at the cyclopean creature before I popped it into my mouth.

Dalton moaned in appreciation and closed his eyes, his body both rigid and relaxed at the same time, all his fine bumps glistening with sex-sweat.

As I bobbed my head up and down, barely able to enjoy the salty taste of him, I started to freak out a little.

My brain yelled orders: Petra, slow down and be sexier! It’s not a blowjob contest between you and every other girl he’s been with, and even if it were, speed isn’t everything! Slow down, girl, it’s not a pepperoni stick!

Dalton twitched, his mouth opening a few times and some sound coming out, like he was going to say something but got distracted.
Distracted by what
, I wondered. Maybe by the lips and tongue going a hundred miles per hour up and down on his salami.

He gasped, clutching at the red blankets with both hands.
Sexy
, I thought, and he groaned and splashed in my mouth.

Mission accomplished!

Now I could go looking for my clothes, looking for my escape route. I could climb out of the mouth of this silver beast of a trailer and catch my breath.

I swallowed and treated him to one slow, languid lick as I released his meat flute, melody played.

He rolled onto his side, catching me with one arm and pulling me in to cuddle him, spoon style.

Nuzzling my hair, he said, “I had big plans, but I blew them all rather quickly.”

“It was me. I blew your big plans. And also your big salami.”

He chuckled and squeezed me tighter.

Now the bedroom was actually getting dark. The sun had finally set, and either the frogs around the lake got louder or my hearing got more sensitive.

Dalton’s arm grew heavier, and a moment later, his breathing changed.

I gently lifted his arm off me and rolled over to face him.

“Dalton?” I whispered.

CHAPTER 9

“Dalton?” I whispered again.

He murmured and stirred, but didn’t wake up. While we’d been walking around the lake, he’d mentioned being exhausted from a long day, and he wasn’t kidding.

I lay there in the dark, replaying parts of our date. Had he invited me to spend the night? I didn’t want to overstay my welcome, and part of me wanted to dine and dash.

Then again, it was cozy there next to him, in the mildly claustrophobic maw of the Airstream.

My stomach grumbled.

Hungry already?

Of course I was hungry. I’d eaten one quarter of a steak, along with nothing more than green salad with a smattering of sliced strawberries and goat’s cheese. The meal had been delicious, but low-carb, and now I had a carbohydrate shortfall for the day that my tummy wouldn’t let me forget.

Panna cotta.

Dalton had mentioned panna cotta for dessert, so that was probably in the fridge.

I nudged him gently. “What about dessert?” I whispered.

When he didn’t respond, I answered for him, “Oh, Peaches, just help yourself. It’s in the fridge.”

I replied to my suggestion with a convivial, “Don’t mind if I do!”

Getting out of the bedroom was easier than getting in. The windows were midnight blue, and I felt exposed in the glowing light of the interior, so I tiptoed around the creaking trailer playing a game of Pick-Up Clothes.

Once fully dressed, I tidied up the plates and washed them in the tiny, round sink. Hot water came out of the tap. Where did the hot water come from? I had no idea.

I kept expecting Dalton to wake from the noises and come out, but he was completely zonked.

The panna cotta was in the under-counter refrigerator, and it was delicious—the firm custard neither too heavy nor too light.

I grabbed my phone from my purse, hoping to text Shayla, but I still had no cell service.

Fully dressed, I sat in one of the club chairs across from the kitchenette and considered my options.

After a few minutes, I decided that taking my clothes back off and climbing into that tongue of a bed was not a viable option. Sleeping here would mean using that tiny toilet, on the other side of a paper-thin wall from handsome, perfect Dalton, who probably didn’t poop, what with all his perfectness. He likely had Vern, the butler, do it for him.

While we’d been on our walk, I’d spotted some of the trails I’d ridden horses along years ago. The lake wasn’t that far from town, and if I took the shortcut through the trails, I’d be out to the highway in ten minutes. Fifteen minutes, tops.

From there, I’d have cellular service and be able to call Shayla, or even a taxi, for a ride.

Sure! Great idea! I’d just go crashing around through the woods in the dark at ten o’clock at night.

As I opened the trailer’s screen door with a squeak and stepped out into the bracing night air, I thought I was making a logical, intelligent choice.

HAH!

The moon was three-quarters full and at my back as I set off into the dark woods surrounding Dragonfly Lake.

The trail under my feet was mostly smooth, worn flat by many hikers, but a few exposed tree roots and fallen branches threatened to trip me up and make me feel even more foolish than I already felt.

I hadn’t worn a jacket, and now my bare arms were sniveling about the cold air and scratchy branches. Behind me, the trailer glowed like a space UFO. I stopped walking and stared at the rounded vessel that looked so much like an airplane minus the wings. How was it glowing? LED lights embedded along some of the aluminum seams? That had to be the answer, and not that it had come from another planet.

BOOK: Sexy and Funny, Hilarious Erotic Romance Bundle
13.93Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
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