SEX Unlimited The Complete Volumes (21 page)

“It’s okay. I know it’s a lot to take in.”

The nurse tries to console me but I’m too conflicted to calm down.

“The gentleman here with you is asking about you. Would you like to see him?”

I shake my head back and forth. “No, not right now. Please just tell him I’m sleeping.”

I can’t face him yet. I ask for my purse and pull out my cell phone to call Janette. A soon as I tell her what happened and the news, she immediately drops everything to come to the hospital.

“We have to tell him something. He’s confused as to why you haven’t asked to see him yet. You can’t avoid him forever, Candace. He’s worried sick about you.”

Tears continue to fall down my cheeks. “How can I tell him I’m pregnant? He just told me he doesn’t want more children. My God, he’s still waiting on DNA results about his dead daughter. How do I even begin to tell him this news? I can’t look at him and lie about it, either.”

“I love you. You know how much I love you so I’m going to be honest here. You need to put your big girl panties on and tell the man the truth. As hard as it may be, you are pregnant with his child; a child you have prayed for as long as I’ve known you. This may not be the best circumstances, but it is what it is, and you have to do the right thing and tell him. You have to prepare for the worst and hope for the fucking best. If that man doesn’t want to be a father to this baby then so be it; be a single mother. Women all over the world do it every damn day. Either way, it’s a miracle and you should be able to be happy about it with or without him.” She puts her hands up in the air. “I’ve said my piece and that’s all I’ll say.”

She’s right and I know she is.

“They said I can go anytime. I don’t want to tell him here at the hospital. I want to go home.”

I get up and get dressed. Janette goes out to explain to Brisban that I’m being released. When I come out into the waiting area he jumps up and rushes over to me.

“I’ve been so worried.”

I drop my head and avoid eye contact with him. “I’m sorry. I was just really tired.”

He places his hand on my lower back. “It’s okay. Let me help you out to the car.”

“No, Janette is going to drive me home. You don’t have to stay out with me. It’s late.”

He looks at me clearly confused. “It doesn’t matter what time of night it is. It’s no trouble at all. But if you’d rather me go, I will.” The creases around his eyes darken and I feel awful for pushing him away.

“I don’t want you to go. I’m just exhausted from everything and I know I’m just going to pass out once I get home. I’d hate for you to come over for me to just fall asleep.”

He moves in front of me and puts both hands on my shoulders and looks down at me. “It’s not any trouble. I
want
to be with you, regardless if your resting or not. I can run home and grab an overnight bag and be there in under an hour.” He turns to Janette, “Can you stay with her until I get there?”

She nods and gives me a shit-eating grin, “Yep, I’ll get her home and into bed. I’ll head back to the shop when you get there.”

He kisses me on the cheek. “See you shortly.”

Janette and I slowly make our way to her car. Once inside Janette starts in on me. “Damn, C! That man is doting on you like a lovesick puppy dog. I’ve never seen anything like it in real life. He’s like some hot guy in one of those chick flicks. You’re living what most women would kill for. I know you’re nervous about telling him, on top of being scared shitless to find out you’re going to be a mom, but my God…he’s in that deep, all-consuming kind of love with you. He doesn’t even try to hide it either. He might as well be wearing a huge flashing sign that reads
I’m in love with and pussy whipped by Candace Greene.
”

My mouth drops open and I gape at her. “You’re not helping this situation in the least right now. Will you please stop being such a jokester and see how serious this really is for me?”

She goes silent and puts the car into drive.

“I just wish you could understand how daunting this is for me. Not to mention I’ve wanted to be pregnant so badly for so many years and I’d accepted the fact that I’d never be a mother. I made peace with it. Now, here I am, gifted with this miracle, but it’s out of wedlock and with a man I, in all honesty, barely know. It’s just… scary.”

“Do you love him?” She says, with eyes forward.

Sighing I answer, “What does that even really mean? I loved James. So what if I love Brisban? That’s not going to make him want this baby.”

“I didn’t say it would. I asked you if you love him. So, do you?”

“Yes.”

“Then don’t feel bad about the wedlock crap. I mean, what is it the eighteen hundreds or something? You love him. He loves you. The two human beings who created the life inside you love each other and, regardless of what you think, I have a feeling he’s going to love this baby as much as he loves you.”

I GOT IN THE SHOWER as soon as we got to the house and Janette waited until Brisban got here. I’m still in the bathroom even though I’m done. Truth be told, I’m stalling. I don’t want to face him. I turn toward the foggy mirror and reach out to wipe away the condensation so I can see my reflection more clearly. My hands drop to my stomach and I look into my own eyes. Taking a deep breath I silently give myself a pep talk. As I stand here, looking in this mirror, it’s hard to believe how much has transpired since I met Brisban. I’m
pregnant.
It’s truly a miracle and gift. Whether I think he’s going to be happy or not, I have to recognize how incredible this is and never take it for granted—no matter what happens after I tell him.

There’s a knock on the door. “Are you okay in there? No rush. Just want to make sure you’re okay.”

I can’t help but to grin at how reverent and compassionate he is. “I’m okay. I’ll be right out.”

My hair is still up in a towel and I’m in my robe. The dark circles under my eyes look terrible. I’m exhausted. I need to start resting more and taking better care of myself now that I know I’m carrying this little one. As soon as I open the bathroom door he’s the first thing I see. He has turned down the bed for me and I smell chamomile. My eyes shift to the bedside table and I see the cup of tea. Tiny transparent swirls of steam are coming off of it.

“I hope you don’t mind me rummaging around in your kitchen. I found some tea and brewed some for you. I thought it might help you unwind a little before you go to sleep.”

He’s unreal. How I ever got this lucky, I’ll never know. The circles under his eyes are much darker than mine, the corners of his mouth are turned up slightly, and his hair is perfectly imperfect and disheveled.

He looks like a beautiful mess.

My heart rate kicks up and, as I stand here looking at him, I know, without a doubt, I’m in love with this amazing and handsome man. Every feeling I have for him congregates around my heart and tears spill from my eyes.

“What? Don’t cry.” He rushes over, wrapping his arms around me. I bury my face in his chest and try to get the courage to just tell him and get it over with.

“What is it? Are you in pain?” His voice is steady but I can hear his worry.

“I have to talk to you.”

“Okay, you can tell me anything, Candace.” He pulls back from me but keeps his arms firmly around my lower back. His eyes search mine as I look up at him. We stare at each other for what feels like a lifetime. The anticipation and nervous anxiety is overwhelming.

“Can we sit?” I ask.

“Of course, do you want to just sit here or go into the living room?”

“Here is fine.”

He guides us to the bed and we sit together on the edge. “You’re worrying me. What’s the matter? You look terrified.”

I shake my head and try to hold the tears back. I’m chewing the inside of my cheek and my temples are pulsating due to my terrible headache.

My head drops down and I stare into my lap. “I don’t know how else to say this other than to just say it.” I look up at him and pray a small prayer this doesn’t go as badly as I’m expecting it to. “I’m pregnant, Brisban.”

Three words I never thought I’d ever speak in my life float through the air and surround us with a heavy amount of pressure. His eyes widen and he stills.

Silence.

It’s deafening.

“Please say something. Anything,” I plead.

The look of pure and utter shock on his face is indescribable. “How…I mean…you can’t…I thought you couldn’t conceive.” He shakes his head in confusion. “I don’t understand.” He stands up and runs his hands through his hair. “I’m sorry. I'm in disbelief and a little in shock right now.” He rubs the back of his neck as he begins to pace back and forth in front of my bed. “When did you find out?”

Tears stream down my face. “Tonight at the hospital.”

He stops and leans back against my dresser. “Pregnant. With my baby?”

My heart drops and I gape at him. “What? Yes, of course it’s yours. What are you implying?”

“No, no! I didn’t mean it that way. I’m sorry. I was more talking to myself in the way of a rhetorical question rather than talking to you. I’m not questioning you on who the father is.”

“I don’t expect anything from you, Brisban. I know how you feel about having more children. I’m okay with doing this on my own. I’ve prayed for a baby for all of my adult life. I can’t take this baby for granted. I won’t.” I straighten my shoulders and inhale, centering myself.

Be strong, Candace.

He doesn’t say anything. The fact that he’s still here, despite his nervous pacing, and says a lot. He hasn’t even come over to me yet. The space between us right now may only be a few feet but it feels like miles.

“You can go.” I stand up and start for the bedroom door. He reaches out and grabs my wrist firmly, yet still gentle.

“No.”

I look at my wrist and then up at him. His eyes are glassy. One lone tear escapes his eye and trickles down his cheek. “I’m not going anywhere.”

I stare up at him in astonishment. “You’re not?”

He pulls me into an embrace and whispers into my hair as he holds me tightly. “No, I’m not.”

We haven’t spoken another word since he said he wasn’t leaving. After brushing out my hair we simply got into bed. He wrapped his arms around me and held me until I drifted off to sleep. I’m looking at the glowing numbers on my alarm clock. It’s five in the morning.

He’s still here.

He’s still holding me.

I shift a little and he rustles. Warm lips connect with the skin on my shoulder and chills cascade across my skin even though I’m warm under the blankets with him. My body always responds to his touch instantly. I turn over so we’re facing each other. His sleepy eyes are a little puffy and his hair is going in all different directions across his forehead. I can only imagine how I look.

“You’re still here,” I whisper.

He smiles and nods. “I’m still here.”

“I really thought you’d leave.”

He reaches up and brushes a wild strand of hair away from my face.

“I can’t say I’m exactly happy about something this unexpected. Nor can I say I even know how I really feel about the fact that I’m going to be a father again, when it wasn’t something I wanted after what happened.”