Sex Symbol (28 page)

Why did he have to go and say something like that? Every time I got mad enough to hurt him, he made me change my mind.

“I don’t want to do anything else to you,” I said softly. “And I’m not the mate of your leader. I’ll kill myself before Maxwell touches me.”

“Jesus,” Justina said from behind me. “Don’t be so dramatic. Besides, Eramus is going to kick his ass. Right?”

“Absolutely,” Eramus growled.

*

Once Eramus and I were alone that night I wasn’t so confident. It wasn’t that I didn’t have faith in him. After all, I’d seen the way he handled Nick. I was afraid. Afraid he would get hurt, afraid I’d get hurt too. My mind wouldn’t stop running through the possibilities. And besides that, I felt sick.

“It’s your nerves,” Eramus said, handing me a glass of soda. “This should help settle your stomach.”

I set the soda on the nightstand and crawled into bed. “Aren’t you even a little bit worried?” I asked him. “I feel like an idiot. You’re the one who’s fighting him and I’m getting sick over it. All I’ve got to do is show up.”

Eramus slipped between the covers and I crawled toward him. His body did more for settling my stomach and my nerves than soda ever could. If I could just be close to him, everything seemed better. He lifted his arm and I snuggled up against his side.

“If I wasn’t a little worried I’d be stupid. I knew there was a pack here when I moved. But I’ve never heard of Maxwell before. I’m guessing that means he hasn’t been the leader for more than a few years.”

I looked up at him. “Do you keep up with that sort of thing?”

“To an extent. It was part of my job for a long time. Now, it just pays to know whose territory I’m in.”

I hugged him tightly and closed my eyes. I didn’t want to think about what might happen in two days. Maxwell didn’t strike me as the type to play fair. That’s what worried me most. Even if Eramus won, would we make it back alive?

A few minutes later when I decided to get a sip of the drink he’d brought me, I noticed an empty teacup on the nightstand too.

“Are you still having trouble sleeping?” I asked.

He slept better or so it seemed for a few nights after we’d made love for the first time. But now he was back to occasional insomnia.

“Have I ever told you why I can’t sleep?”

I snuggled back up to him. “Yeah. You said you have nightmares.”

“Did I tell you what they’re about?”

I shook my head.

“You remember when I told you about my attack?” I nodded again. “Well, as you know, I killed the one who turned me. I tracked him down and did terrible things to him.”

I wasn’t sure how to take this news. I had known he’d killed the werewolf who purposely turned him. What I didn’t know was what he did to him.

“Nothing you can say will upset me, Eramus. Whatever you did, I’m sure you had your reasons.” When he remained silent I asked, “Did you torture him?”

“Yes. My grandfather had a book that supposedly told how to break the curse of lycanthropy.”

“And this involved torturing the one who attacked you?”

“Yes. Supposedly if you could track down the one who bit or scratched you, before your first full moon…and kill him, then you would be free of the curse.”

“Kill him how?” Something told me I didn’t want to know, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself from asking.

“Rip out his heart and eat it.”

“Holy shit. You did that?”

I pulled back to see his reaction and Eramus made a face as if he was going to be sick. “Why do you think I have nightmares? Obviously, it didn’t work. What a load of bullshit. Lycanthropy isn’t a curse, it’s a disease. I knew this, but at the time I was desperate.”

Once again I didn’t know how to react. So, I just sat there, staring at him.

“I did upset you, didn’t I?”

The deep rumble of his voice soothed me, despite what he’d just said. I thought it over for a minute before answering. “Surprisingly…no.”

He laughed. “Are you serious? You’re okay with knowing I ate his heart?”

“Considering everything else that’s happened lately?” I shrugged. “Yeah, I’m good with it.”

*

The next morning Eramus went into town alone and I stayed to cook breakfast. Cooking was something I enjoyed and it helped to take my mind off everything else. In fact, I was so busy trying to distract myself that at first I didn’t hear the doorbell.

I looked through the peephole and saw Crazy Wolf.

When I opened the door he just stood there, looking defeated.

“What do you want?” My question was harsh, but my tone wasn’t.

“I’ve come to tell you where to meet Maxwell tomorrow night.”

He might as well have punched me for all the effect his words had. “So, you’re his messenger?”

“He’s my alpha, I have no choice.” He handed me a piece of paper and I glanced to see some directions written across it. “It’s easier this way. If I had to tell you, I’d get you lost.”

I looked at the paper again. “I might get lost anyway. This is in the middle of nowhere.”

He laughed and I realized how long it had been since I’d heard that sound. Damn it, I missed my friend. Since Justina had moved here two years ago I hadn’t realized how much I didn’t see Wolf anymore. But now that he was back, no matter the circumstances, I kind of liked having him around.

“Where else did you expect a pack of werewolves to meet?”

“So, the whole pack will be there?”

“You are bringing a challenger, right? They’ll be there as both witnesses and to take sides.”

I decided that asking him what I was worrying about was better than not knowing.

“If Eramus wins, will we be allowed to leave or is it a trap?”

“Maxwell is a bastard, but the beta wolf, second in command, is a man of his word.”

“Who is the beta wolf?”

“Me.”

Somehow, that didn’t surprise me as much as it would have a few weeks ago.

“Wolf, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Since lycanthropy heals any physical problems, why didn’t you just offer to turn your mom? I know that’s a terrible thing to say, but wouldn’t she rather be a werewolf than die of cancer?”

“No,” he answered softly, hanging his head.

That one word said so much. His whole body seemed to sag with the weight of my question. How horrible it must be to know someone would rather die than become what you are. Cancer is an awful way to go. It’s hard to watch someone you love suffer like that. I know from personal experience, two of my uncles went that way.

Even though he had mixed my tattoo ink with werewolf blood, it broke my heart to see Crazy Wolf in such pain. His heartbreak was almost tangible. I took a step forward onto the porch and wrapped my arms around his waist. If there was one thing I had learned since having my blood mixed, it was that werewolves craved physical contact. I had always been a hugging sort of person. But now…I needed to be touched. If Wolf was the same way, then having me keep distance between us must have been the hardest thing about answering my question.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.”

He hugged me so tightly that I couldn’t fight back the tears. There was desperation in his embrace. When I heard him crying it was as if my heart was broken too. I could almost literally feel his pain. Guess that’s what comes from knowing someone for so long.

“I’m so sorry for hurting you,” he said. “Please forgive me. When my mother turned me down…this was the only choice I had to help her. She’d rather die than be like me.”

I couldn’t imagine the pain he must have been going through for the past three years. I was so caught up in my relationship with James and then our breakup, I had failed to notice. I felt like an ass. Wolf had become like family to me years ago. And just like family, I had taken him for granted and avoided him except for holidays. As angry as I had been before, it was a choice between potentially hurting me or his dying mother. How could I hold that against him? I was still alive. Changed yes, but alive.

“You did what you had to do,” I said softly.

“No.” He pulled back and wiped his eyes. “I betrayed a trust. There’s always another option.”

I smiled. “That’s noble of you, Wolf, but I’d have done it to you in the same situation.”

He looked surprised. “Really?”

“Given a choice between helping one of my parents to fight a fatal disease or take a chance on linking you to an alpha werewolf? Yeah, I’d do it. I’d hate myself but it’s the only option. Even if you’d let him kill you, that would still leave your mom with no one to help her.”

“What are you saying?”

I took his hand and pulled him close again. “I’m saying I forgive you.”

When he pulled back from me this time, something had changed in his dark eyes. Wolf looked down at me again and his long hair spilled forward, framing his face. The effect was striking.

“Don’t be afraid of Maxwell. If for some reason Eramus doesn’t win…” His words trailed off. We both knew he meant if Eramus was killed. “I will challenge Maxwell myself. I won’t let him touch you.”

“Wolf, you don’t have to—”

“Yes, I do. You said it yourself, this is my fault. If things go badly tomorrow, you can depend on me.”

“Thank you.” He started to leave and I grabbed his hand again. “I do have one more question. I’ve been learning about all this stuff from Eramus. Anyway, I thought that you had to be the beta wolf to challenge the alpha. Or that an alpha from another pack could issue a challenge. How does that work, because Eramus doesn’t have his own pack?”

“In this case Maxwell is putting everything on the line. He’s a cocky son of a bitch. That’s one reason the mark hasn’t been used in ages. It opens the pack up to outsiders who haven’t worked their way through the ranks, so to speak. Everyone advised him against it, but he doesn’t exactly take our opinions to heart.”

I didn’t want to let him go because I didn’t want to be alone, but I did. Besides, Eramus would be back soon.

*

Eramus spent the rest of the day in preparation. I knew that whatever he was doing was necessary, but this left me alone with my thoughts and at the moment that wasn’t a good thing. If someone had told me a few months ago that I’d be dating a werewolf, I’d have said they were nuts. If they’d told me that I would be involved in a battle for leadership of the local werewolf pack, I’d have looked up the number to the crazy house. If they’d said that the fight would also determine who gets to be my mate, I’d have just driven them there instead of calling the men in white coats.

To say that I was under stress was like saying that the ocean is wet. I tried everything to distract myself. Reading didn’t work because I kept staring out the window. Same for watching television, it just couldn’t keep my attention. To make matters worse, there was a monster movie marathon on. Great. As if I wanted to watch werewolf movies right now.

I had no idea what Eramus was doing to prepare for the fight, but I was certain he didn’t need any distractions. I did everything I could to keep from walking over to his house. However, by nightfall, my good intentions had evaporated completely. I needed to be with him, even if I just sat there and watched whatever it was he was doing.

When I opened the door, I didn’t expect to find anything there. Least of all a large box. I looked around, but no one was there. At least, not that I could see. The box was light, too light to have a bomb inside. Wow. My thoughts had really changed in the last month. Just a short while ago I would have assumed that a box like this contained roses or something. Now I was guessing it wasn’t heavy enough to be a bomb.

I sat the box on the kitchen table and took a good look. It was white, but not plain. There were all sorts of designs on the surface and it was tied with a large red ribbon. Pretty. I considered leaving it there and going over to Eramus’ as I had planned. But, wasn’t I just looking for a distraction?

I pulled the red ribbon carefully and opened the box. No card, no flowers, just a beautiful red dress. I assumed it was for me to wear tomorrow night. I’m not sure how I knew that. Guess I just had a feeling. I also had a feeling that Maxwell had sent it. For that reason, I was determined to go in jeans and a t-shirt.

I put on my jacket once more and headed toward Eramus. My mind was in absolute turmoil and if I didn’t see him soon, I felt as if I might become physically ill. The odds were certainly against us. Eramus may have been a badass werewolf hunter, but this was different. This was a fight to the death with an alpha werewolf for leadership of a pack! Eramus may have been powerful, however that did not mean he could stand up to a pack of werewolves all on his own. I trusted Crazy Wolf when he said he was a man of his word. It was the rest of the pack that concerned me.

I was honest enough with myself to admit this might be the last night I got to spend with Eramus and I didn’t intend to waste it sitting at home. We stood a better chance together, and that’s what I planned to say when he opened the door. Only when I knocked, it was open.

“Eramus?”

I pushed the door further open. No sign of Eramus. After closing and locking the door behind me, I made my way into the living room. There he was, standing in front of the large fireplace, wearing his long dark robe and black silk pajama pants.

“Sit down,” he said softly.

I did. However, I continued to watch him.

“I haven’t meant to ignore you today. I’ve been going over a lot of things, doing some research.”

“I need to talk to you.”

Eramus propped against the mantle, staring into the flames as he replied, “I’m listening.”

With the two of us alone like this, Maxwell and all his bullshit seemed a world away. The fire shined in the dim light, casting a soft glow over Eramus’ features. He was gorgeous, as always, but I was distracted. I shared my concerns with him, to which he listened quietly before saying, “I may have found something that can help us.”

“A way for us to win, you mean?”

He sighed heavily. “I would like to say that I can take Maxwell, no problem. But the truth is I have no idea what to expect. I haven’t been able to find anything on him. If it were only my life on the line that would be one thing, I’ve done that before under different circumstances. But it’s not just my life. Crazy Wolf stopped by here after he left your house. Maxwell is insisting on your presence—and it’s you I’m worried about.”