Seven (20 page)

Our lips parted.

Our breathing in tandem.

“Savannah…” My name rolls eloquently off his tongue. 

“Bryant…” I’m crying. I’m not sobbing but I can feel the tears run down my face as my body trembles lightly. I can’t control them or make them stop, and in all honesty, I’m not sure I want to. I’m both shocked and proud of myself at the same time.

“Are you okay?” he whispers.

“Yeah,” I say, trying to catch my breath. “Yeah. I’m okay. Bryant, I promise these are…incredibly happy tears because that was…” I try to catch my breath. “That was…I’ve never...sex in my past life was always just sex. Two people, desire, needs…but this…”

“Yeah.” Like he’s reading my mind he responds immediately in between pants of breath. “I know. For me too…like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.”

That can’t be true.

He’s just saying that so I’m not embarrassed.

I smirk doubtingly at him. “Ah come on, you don’t have to say that to make me feel better.”

He looks at me with hurt in his eyes. “You don’t believe me.”

“Well…you told me about your past lifestyle.” I place my palm on his cheek. “I’m not blaming you at all. Please don’t take my words the wrong way.”

Bryant pushes himself up so that he can see my face. With a disappointed-in-himself expression he says “Savannah, not that you really want or need to know this, but Ivy was conceived on the couch in my shit hole of an office at the bar.”

“What?” I chuckle slightly but I am caught off guard. I guess I expected it was more than just a quickie.

“It’s true.” He takes a breath before continuing his explanation. “I meant what I said when I told you that you’re the first woman to be in my bed, or in my house for the matter. You’re right. I told you that Bryant ‘the Giant’ Wood was the ‘fuck’em and chuck’em type. It’s not something I’m proud of now and I’ll regret the way I treated women for the rest of my life but you…” He shakes his head bewildered. “Savannah, you’re the one my heart has been waiting for since I can remember. I’ve always wanted to make love to you, to taste you, to touch you, to smell you….to protect you…to hold you. I’ve dreamed of making you mine but you’ve always been just out of my reach.”

“I’m here now.” is all I can think to say.

“You are…and as much as I don’t want to thank God for that because of the circumstances in which you’re here...I’m thanking Him anyway…for bringing you back to me, for allowing me one more chance.” Bryant kisses me softly holding my cheek with his right hand. “I love you Savannah Turner. I loved you then and I love you now and I want you in my life for as long as you’ll stay. Whatever you want, it’s yours. I want to be the man who takes care of you.”

He’s so sweet. I didn’t expect this much sincerity from him but since he’s offering, I decide now is the time to make one little request. “Bryant.” I place my hands on his chest, his warmth emanating from his body. “I don’t need anything from you. Just knowing you’re in my life makes me happier than you could imagine. And sweet, little Ivy…you both are so special…”

“Why do I feel a ‘but’ coming on?”

Pursing my lips, I continue. “But while we’re on the subject there is one thing you can do.”

“Anything. Name it and it’s done.”

I lean up quickly to kiss Bryant’s cheek and say, “I think your office may need a new couch.”

“Hahaha!” He laughs grabbing me in a bear hug and rolling me on top of him. “Done! You can even help me pick one out.” His eyes grow as they roll up and down my body. “Maybe I need a pin-up poster for my wall while we’re at it.” He raises both of his eyebrows quickly in succession.

“In your dreams Wood. In your dreams.” I laugh along with him as I lower myself down to his chest. I kiss him one more time, but as I try to sit up he traps me in his arms, rolling us both onto our sides. Our kiss deepens once again as we enjoy exploring each other’s bodies, making the most of our time together.

Chapter 23

Bryant

“Savannah I need to tell you something. It’s really important so I need you to hear me.” As I look down and to the side I see Savannah’s head tilt up towards me from where she is lying in the crook of my shoulder. Her soft hands glide against my chest. Her expression is one of comfortable satisfaction and that makes me a very happy man; nevertheless, what I’m about to say scares the shit out of me. My pulse quickens and my anxiety is growing with every passing second.

“I’m right here, Bryant. What do you need to tell me that’s so important?” She kisses my chest and my shoulder before rolling up towards me and softly kissing my lips. She leans back and watches me in anticipation.

“It’s about Ivy.”

“Okay.”

I swallow slowly, “And Peyton.”

She smiles endearingly like I’m about to tell her a story of what great friends they are. “Okay. What is it? Tell me.”

“Well, umm, you know how I told you that I hadn’t been in contact with Ivy’s liver donor? How I had never written them to say thanks or to give an update on Ivy or anything like that?”

She smiles again, which is unnerving. “Yes. I remember. You really should find her donor though, Bryant. I’m sure the other family would want to know that their child’s life benefited someone else’s.”

“Savannah…”

“What, Bryant?” She chuckles softly smoothing her fingers down my cheek. “What is it you need to tell me?”

“I’m uh…I’m telling you now, Savannah.”

“Telling me what?”

“I’m telling you now…that um…Peyton’s life…” I hold Savannah’s arms in my hands so I can help her when she hears the news. “It benefited someone else’s.”

She laughs.

What the fuck?

Why is she laughing?

“Of course it did, Bryant. I received several letters last year…”

“Not from me, Savannah.” I shake my head adamantly. “You didn’t receive one from me.”

She stops laughing and looks at me, her head tilting in confusion.

“I don’t understand.”

Closing my eyes quickly I inhale one last big breath before simply spitting it out so she understands. “Savannah, you didn’t receive a letter from me because I was way too afraid to write one. I didn’t know how to tell you that Ivy was the recipient of Peyton’s liver. I didn’t know how to tell you because I’m in love with you, but the guilt of not telling you is eating me alive so I’m sorry you didn’t receive a letter from me but please, Savannah. Please know that Peyton’s life…it means more than the world to me. It meant life for my child and for that I will be forever and ever grateful.”

I look at Savannah’s face as she sits astride me in my bed. Her face soft but void of expression. We’re both vulnerable in this state…naked, together in bed. I’m not sure what she’s thinking. If only her face would give me a clue as to what she’s thinking I would know which way to go but damn, if she isn’t just starting at me.

“Savannah…”

“It’s okay, Bryant. I love you,” she says softly.

I release a breath and wrap her in my arms, relieved that she didn’t just chop off my balls for keeping the truth from her. When I open my eyes I’m shivering. Confused as to why I’m suddenly so cold, I let go of Savannah and lean back slightly.

“WHAT THE?” I shout as I jump from my bed. I feel guilty for a quick second that I just threw Savannah off of me except that what I tossed wasn’t Savannah at all. When I leaned back I was hugging Olaf the snowman.

What the ever-loving fuck?

I watch in shock as his head rolls to the side and he giggles. “True love means telling the truth…let it go, Bryant. Let it go.”

*****

I startle awake, gasping for air.

I look around the room and remember that I moved out to the living room this morning to lay on the couch in case Ivy woke up early.

Damnit.

It was just a dream.

I haven’t told her yet.

Shaking the absurdity from my head I put my face in my hands and am rubbing my temples when I hear her singing. I must’ve heard it in my head while I was dreaming.

“Let it gooo…let it goooo…Subanna slept ova last niiiight.” I smile at the cute voice that I recognize as Ivy’s and am surprised to hear the laughter of Savannah’s voice right along with her.

Ivy must’ve woken up Savannah.

Shit. I hope she doesn’t mind.

I should go get her in case Savannah wants to sleep.

But listening to them giggle is a nice way to wake up.

That was a fucked up dream if I ever had one but I understand it now that I’ve had a moment to process it. I love this girl, I’ve wanted her for so long, but the guilt I have for keeping the truth from her is constantly on my mind. I have no idea how she’ll really react. I’m not convinced she’ll be the same Savannah from my dream when I tell her…and I’m not sure I would want her to be.

Quietly I make my way back down the hall toward my bedroom where I hear my two ladies singing and giggling. I stand outside the door and listen for a while as Ivy tells Savannah all about her love of Elsa and Ana and all things
Frozen
. As much as I would love to join them, they sound like they’re having a great time together. I make my way back down the hall to the kitchen. I promised a certain little girl I would make pancakes for breakfast.

It’s not ten minutes later that I hear the pitter patter of little feet hopping down the hallway toward the kitchen.

“Come on! Come on Subanna! I smell PANCAKES!”

“Mmm! I love pancakes!” Savannah laughs. I can see her smile in my head. The gorgeous curve of her lips and the blush in her cheeks when she smiles is forever ingrained in my brain. I like to make her smile. That one little expression can warm my body every single time I see it on her face.

She deserves to smile.

She deserves to be happy.

The picture of Savannah in my brain is an exact reflection of her as she turns the corner into the kitchen, Ivy’s hand in hers. My little princess is tugging Savannah’s arm excitedly toward the kitchen island where I’m preparing breakfast. Our eyes finally meet and my world stops. It just freezes. Holding my spatula in mid-air, I stop what I’m doing at the stove and stare at her, trying to memorize this moment in time. The moment when the woman of my dreams walks into my kitchen, looking carefree and gorgeously sexy. No makeup, unkempt hair pulled haphazardly to the top of her head, she’s confidently stunning. When I left her last night she was naked in my bed. She obviously found her bag I brought in from her car last night, though the grey cotton t-shirt she’s wearing is still mine. Damn she looks hot in my clothes, and her holding the hand of the most important other female of my life makes an indelible impression on me.  The picture in this kitchen right now is like that of a normal Saturday morning with any other normal family.

But this isn’t our normal.

I have to tell her.

My dream…it hits me like an arrow to my heart and I gasp audibly causing Savannah’s expression to change to one of worry.

Fuck! My dream…

I can’t tell her.

I don’t want to lose her.

“Are you okay? Did you just burn yourself?” Savannah asks as she helps Ivy up to her stool in front of the island counter where I have our place settings ready.

“Uhh, yeah.” I lie. “Just touched the pan accidentally. I’m good.” I try to play it off and hope that Savannah doesn’t pick up on my distraction. I smile at her and Ivy both sitting across from me. I want so badly to kiss Savannah but I haven’t done anything like that in front of Ivy yet…I’m not sure how she’ll react to that. She’s never seen me kiss a girl before. Instead I clear my thoughts from my head, and offer up some morning beverages.

“Would you lovely ladies like a drink? Milk? OJ? Coffee?” I direct that last suggestion to Savannah.

“Pwincesses Daddy! We’re Pwincesses!”

“Ohhh, well excuse me then beautiful princesses.” I try to use my best British butler voice. “Would either of you care for a cold, or hot, beverage to go with your pancakes this morning hmm?”

Ivy scrunches up her nose and giggles before lifting her chin to respond in her version of a British accent, “I fink I will have miwk Mista Daddy if you pwease.”

“Perfect darling. Yes of course Princess Ivy needs a healthy glass of milk with her pancakes. How about you, Princess Savannah? What can I get for you to drink Madame?”

As if she’s played this role a thousand times Savannah turns on her dramatic British charm. If I didn’t know better, I would swear I was standing in the middle of an episode of
Downton Abbey
. “Coffee in England, are you mad? Everyone knows it’s tea we drink, but I’ll settle for a tall glass of milk to go with my flapjacks. Cheers.” She looks to Ivy as they both break into a fit of giggles.

How does she do it?

Perfectly fits into our little family dynamic?

Shaking my head in humorous defeat, I pour my girls their milk before walking around the island to hand Ivy her sippy cup, and Savannah her glass.

“Cheers darling,” she says, smiling. Quickly she kisses me once on my right cheek and then again on my left. I’m frozen in place having not expected that display of affection. What I also don’t expect is the look of passion in Savannah’s eyes as they stare back at me. Like pancakes is the last thing she wants for breakfast.

I clear my throat and swallow before speaking. “Hungry?” I ask her softly.

Blinking slowly, she holds my gaze. “Mmm hmm.”

I watch as she takes another sip of her milk and licks her bottom lip just lazily enough to hold my attention.

Have mercy
.

If I could just take her back to my…

My eyes quickly divert to where Ivy is sitting.

Shit.

Don’t do anything stupid, Wood. Your kid is in the room.

I try to smirk in triumph knowing that as hungry as she is, she now has to wait. Little does she know that I’m not the triumphant one at all. She’s already won.

“Pancakes are coming right up...would you like…sausage with that?” I wink at her when I ask so that she knows I’m not talking about Jimmy Dean.

Wearing her best shit-eating grin, she chuckles softly. “I do enjoy the taste of a good strong sausage.”

Good Lord she can make my dick twitch.

Immediately I turn around and walk back to the stovetop to continue my work with our breakfast. “Coming right up.”

Fuck if it isn’t.

Control yourself Wood.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned for sure in the past few weeks, it’s that Savannah Turner is my kryptonite. She’s caught me hook, line, and sinker and damn if I don’t want to swim in her waters for the rest of my days.

But I have to tell her. I have to tell her about Peyton and Ivy before whatever it is we have gets any tighter. I vow to myself that I will tell Savannah the truth when it’s time, although, who the hell knows when that might be. I’m hoping it’ll just come to me and she’ll be okay when the truth comes out.

The truth sets you free right?

Will I ever be free from the guilt?