Seven (17 page)

I can’t believe I’m cock-blocking my damn self.

When did Bryant “the Giant” Wood become such a pussy?

“What do you mean we shouldn’t do this? Did I do something wrong?”

“NO! God…NO!” I say shaking my head faster now so that she understands this is in no way about her. I take her face in my hands and explain, “Baby, you did nothing wrong. In fact, you almost made me lose control way sooner than I want to, and believe me when I tell you, I want to, but…”

“But…what?” She looks sad. Suddenly I’m praying that I’m doing the right thing here. Making the right call. I’m doing it for her. She has to realize that.

“Savannah, we just spent our first full day together, and I had…the most…absofuckin’lutely fantastic day with you. I just don’t want you to feel rushed into anything. I don’t want to be that guy for you.”

“What guy?” She shakes her head confused at what I’m trying to tell her.

“The one-night-stand type of guy. That’s not me, or, it’s not who I want to be with you. I want to have two nights, and then ten nights, and then a hundred nights with you, Seven. When we’re ready I want to take my time with you. I want to give you everything you need and everything you deserve, but it doesn’t have to be tonight. I can wait.”

“But it’s been so long…for both of us,” she says. “Isn’t this what you want?”

I nod my head, my eyes hungry with desire. “Oh Savannah. Yes. I want you. I’ve wanted you for so long and believe me, it’s giving me the biggest case of blue balls a guy’s ever seen to stop what we’re doing right now…” She smiles sympathetically. “But if I laid you down and took what I wanted from you now I would be just like the douchebag you always thought I was and I’m not that guy. We’ll get there, I have no doubt about that, but it doesn’t have to be on our first official date.”

Self-consciousness setting in, Savannah starts to pull up the top of her dress, but I immediately grab her wrists. “No, Seven. Please don’t feel like you have to cover yourself. You’re…” I shake my head, studying every detail of her black lace bra. “You’re stunning, and I enjoy looking at you, and I enjoy touching you. Don’t feel like you ever have to cover up with me. I’ll never hurt you. I promise you that.”

She looks at me silently for what feels like minutes. Quietly she slides backwards off of my lap. “I’ll be right back,” she says.

“Okay.” I’m not sure what’s happening now but I watch as she walks back down the hallway toward the kitchen. I hear movement but can’t see what’s happening. When she walks back into the room, she’s wearing nothing but my black t-shirt.

Have mercy.

She walks over to me and grabs my hand. “Do you have to go home tonight, Bryant? Is someone at home with Ivy?”

“No. She’s with Samantha’s parents this weekend. It’s my weekend off,” I tell her.

“Good.”

She walks to the side of her bed and pulls down the covers. “Will you hold me?”

Is she serious?

She’s asking me to spend the night?

Is this a trick?

“There’s nothing I would rather do, Savannah. Are you really okay with that?”

“Please Bryant. Please don’t make me beg. I don’t want to be lonely anymore.” Her expression is filled with something I can’t quite read but nevertheless I understand; sadness mixed with need. We’re both adults. We’ve both experienced a loss that has changed our lives and finally, after all this time, she’s back in my life. I’m here with her and she’s asking me to hold her as she falls asleep…something I wanted to do weeks ago when I watched her sleeping on her couch and carried her back here to this bed.

I kick my shoes off and walk to the opposite side of her bed. She watches me as I unbutton my jeans, pull down the zipper and slide my pants off. She tries to hide her smile but can’t as I stand beside her bed in nothing but my navy boxer briefs. “I’m sorry I can’t wear a shirt to bed, but it looks a hell of a lot better on you anyway.”

“I figured if I wore it to bed you couldn’t say no to staying here with me tonight.”

I release a breath in slight defeat.

She was afraid I would say no
.

“Savannah, I don’t ever want to say no to you. I just want to make sure I’m doing right by you. Whatever this is between us, I don’t want to let it go. I won’t be able to let it go. You should remember that.”

“Point made,” she says resolutely. “Now get in here and keep me warm.”

I slide into the bed laying on my left side so I can see her. She turns her body and backs up into me so that the swell of her ass is snuggled right up next to the part of me that doesn’t seem to know when to calm the fuck down.

This could be a rough night.

Carefully I slide my left arm underneath her neck and my right arm over her hip, and pull her into me as tightly as I can. This feeling is foreign to me. Completely new, overwhelming, yet peaceful all at the same time. I’m not a snuggler. I never have been. I’ve always been that one-night stand guy. ‘Fuck’em and chuck’em’ as my friends would always say. Have my way and never stay…but not with this girl. Holding her in my arms like this, my body wrapped around hers, protecting her, this is what heaven must feel like.  Her breathing evens out as she falls into a peaceful sleep. Lightly I kiss the back of her head before closing my eyes and dreaming about the two most important women in my life.

Chapter 21

Savannah

Today’s the day. I’m meeting Ivy today for the very first time and I have to admit, I’m nervous. Normally I wouldn’t be bothered except two things run through my mind constantly. One, she’s roughly the same age Peyton would’ve been and that’s harder on my heart than I want to admit to anyone. Two, what if she plain old just doesn’t like me? It’s been a few years since I’ve spent any length of time with young children. Since Peyton’s passing I haven’t wanted to put myself in the environment where I would have to interact with young kids, especially young girls, but today is the day.

It’s been a three weeks since my first official date with Bryant and although we’re moving a little slower than I had expected, it’s been nice. We’ve met up for lunch a few times during the work week and he’s taken me on a few more dates when he can get someone to watch Ivy. We’ve met up a few times to take a walk around the park and he’s driven me home from work a few times. I very much respect the decision to not involve Ivy right away. Who knows where this thing between Bryant and me is going.  I certainly wouldn’t want to hurt Ivy, or myself, by either of us getting too attached too early.

Bryant told me to dress for comfort since we would just be hanging out for the evening with Ivy. I chose a pair of black leggings and an oversized pink button-down shirt. I slip on a pair of black ballet flats and I’m ready for an evening of playtime with a new friend.

I hope she likes me.

It takes approximately fifteen minutes to get from my apartment in town to Bryant’s quiet ranch. I didn’t realize he lived so far out of town, but I like it. It’s peaceful here, calm, beautiful. Driving out I saw one field after another lined with sprouting crops but when I turn onto Bryant’s road all of the fields around me are lined with wooden fences.

He never said anything about a farm.

I pull up to a larger sized ranch house than I expected. The exterior is a mix of stone and wood siding, almost like a log cabin with a little extra flair. The front porch wraps around the side of the house which overlooks a small wooded area. I imagine it’s quite peaceful at times to sit outside and listen to the goings on around you. There are great big windows to the right of the front door. The great room, or living room, must be on that side of the house. On the other side of the front door is a smaller set of windows as well as the attached garage. I don’t see Bryant on the front porch and I don’t see him watching out any of the windows of his house, so I get out the car and make my way to the front door. I ring the doorbell and then stand in anticipation for Bryant to answer the door. I don’t know why I’m so nervous. It’s not like I didn’t just spend the night with Bryant the other day. Obviously the nerves are for the young human I’m about to meet for the first time.

I take another step back from the door when I see them. Two small hands pulling back the white curtains in the window of the great room. Soon I see two green eyes staring at me. She’s not moving. She’s just staring…and smiling.

Oh thank God she’s smiling.

I bend over slightly so I’m more her height and wave gently to her. I don’t expect her to answer the door, I am a stranger to her after all, but she smiles back at me and waves as the door swings open. When I stand up I’m looking into the eyes of an almost panic-stricken Bryant holding a hairbrush and a comb in his left hand.

“Hi,” he says with a huge sigh.

“Hello,” I smile at him questioningly. I’m not so sure I understand why he looks so panicked but as soon as the little girl from the window steps out from behind Bryant, I see it. The beautiful curls I remember Ivy having from the picture Bryant showed me are gone; pulled back and frayed in some sort of…braid? Is that what it is? Not knowing how I’m supposed to react because perhaps this is the very first time Ivy has ever done her own hair, I put on my widest friendliest smile and crouch down again to Ivy’s height.

“Hello. You must be Ivy.”

“Yep. And you awe Subanna” She says my name loudly and with pride, as if she’s known me her whole life. “My daddy talks about you lots. She is pwetty, Daddy, just like you said. Like an angel.”

Be still my heart.

“Well thank you very much, Ivy,” I chuckle. “You know what? Your daddy talks about
you
a lot too, and you are a beautiful little girl. I think Ivy is a beautiful name.”

“Tanks. Do you like my dwess?” I watch as she twirls around in her beautiful blue Elsa dress.

“Oh Ivy, you are most certainly the prettiest princess I’ve seen today.”

She stops and rubs her head vigorously with her hand. “Daddy can’t bwaid vewy good. It doesn’t look like Elsa...” She looks at me and jumps up and down. “Can you fix it? Girls can bwaid and boys can’t bwaid so you can fix it wight?”

My eyes glide quickly over to Bryant who is still standing in the doorway watching Ivy and me with a sheepish smile. I smirk at him as he sighs and shakes his head in defeat. 

“I can make the world’s best chicken nuggets and the yummiest chocolate milk, but there’s no chapter on Elsa braids in the Daddy handbook.”

I nod, understanding what obviously must’ve transpired right before I got here. I look at Ivy’s cute scowl toward her father and back to Bryant who almost looks embarrassed to have even attempted the challenge and now know exactly why I am here. I clear my throat and in my best Mary Poppins voice I say “In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. I think I know a great way to start off our afternoon.” I turn towards Ivy and say, “How about I teach Daddy how to make a beautiful Elsa braid. It just so happens I do know a lot about braiding hair.”

“YAY!” Ivy cheers. “Come on Subanna! Come in, come in!” Her little fingers wrap around my thumb as she charges toward the house, eagerly pulling me behind her. As I step through the doorway Bryant leans in and kisses me on my cheek.

“I’m really glad you’re here,” he says.

“Me too,” I respond.

“Me thwee! Let’s go Daddy! Subanna is gonna teach you things.”

I spend the next half hour sitting next to Bryant on the couch as Ivy sits patiently in front of him watching an episode
of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse
. With her hair between his fingers I show him several different types of braids. He’s a fast learner, better than I expect him to be, and in no time, Ivy’s hair looks just like her favorite snow Queen, Elsa.

“Thank you for the braiding lesson, Savannah. Phew, you saved me from the wrath of a Queen Elsa tantrum just in time.”

I laugh as I bump into Bryant’s shoulder slightly. “You’re welcome. It was the least I could do. I mean a princess can’t spend her day doing princess things with terrible daddy hair.”

Bryant stands up and turns to me. “Can I get you a drink?”

“Sure.” I hold my hand out for him to pull me up from the couch. “Give me a tour of the kitchen?”

“Absolutely. Come on.” Bryant nods his head towards Ivy whose eyes are transfixed on the television. “We’ll be back before the hot dog dance.”

“The what?” I ask as he pulls me from the room. As soon as we’re around the corner and in the kitchen Bryant pushes me against the kitchen island and kisses me with so much force, I have to grab onto his biceps to steady myself. In no time though, I’m returning his kiss with equal fervor knowing that we could lose our moment of privacy at any minute.

“I missed you Seven,” he whispers between kisses. Bryant’s hands hold on to my hips but begin to slowly slide up the sides of my body igniting sparks in me from head to toe. Damnit, if there weren’t a kid in the house I would lay myself out for him right here on this kitchen counter.

“I missed you too.” I wrap my arms around Bryant a little more as his hands continue northward, grabbing my face and holding it in his hands. His lips retreat, leaving me panting and famished for more of him. He lays his forehead against mine closing his eyes as our breathing evens out. “I’m sorry Seven.”

“What? Sorry for what? What’s wrong?” I’m confused. One minute he was sucking my face and now…

“I’m sorry I have a kid in the other room and I can’t lay you across this kitchen island and finish what we started the other night. You just, smell so damn good and I couldn’t wait any longer to kiss you, to touch you.”

“Mmm…I’d like that too,” I whisper.

“Stay with me tonight.” He’s not really asking but I can tell by his inflection that he doesn’t want me to say no.

What about Ivy?

“Do you really think that’s a good idea?”

“I wouldn’t be asking you to stay if I didn’t.”

I smirk even though he can’t really see me with our foreheads still touching. “Oh, was that you asking me? Because…”

“Savannah?” He interrupts my teasing.

“Yeah?”

I watch him swallow the knot in his throat as he thinks for a minute before staring me square in the face. “I don’t want to be alone anymore either, but I don’t want to be with just anyone. I want to be with you.”

I don’t know why my stupid face chooses this moment to betray me but hearing my words echoed back at me causes a small tear to slip out of my eye and trail down my face. I watch Bryant’s eyes follow it down my cheek before he lifts his thumb to swipe it away.

He wants me?

He remembered what I said?

“How do we do this with Ivy…?”

He kisses my lips quickly before wrapping his arms around me, shaking his head. “I don’t care,” he says. “We’ll figure it out. I’ll sleep on the couch if I have to Savannah. I’m just so damn glad you’re here, but now that you’re here, I don’t want you to go. Don’t worry. I’ll handle Ivy, okay?”

I smile shyly. “Okay. I trust you.”

I watch him turn away from me toward the cupboard above his head. He opens it and reaches for two glasses.

“Oh, shit,” I mumble to myself, acting defeated.

“What is it?” Bryant turns around quickly, waiting for my response.

I give Bryant my best provocative smile and shrug my shoulder slightly as I explain, “I didn’t bring anything to sleep in.” That’s a lie. I totally packed a small duffle bag with pajamas and toiletries because a girl never knows where she might end up, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to tell him that.

Bryant places both glasses from his hands onto the counter and then spins around toward me. His head comes in close to me so I bend my head back. He smiles as he leans in closer laying feathery kisses along my neck. “It’s settled then. Fuck the couch. Someone has to keep you warm if you won’t be wearing any clothes. I volunteer as tribute.” He closes his lips around my earlobe, earring and all, and I’m a goner.

“OH TOOOOOOOOTLES!” Ivy shouts from the living room. Bryant stops his torturous exploration of my neck at which point we both burst into laughter.

“Fuckin’ Tootles…” he says. “That thing has terrible timing.”

I kiss Bryant’s cheek and place my hand in his. “Come on, you promised we would be back in time for the hot dog dance.”

*****

“Subanna!” Ivy gasps and jumps up from her chair in the kitchen. In the last couple of hours, we’ve braided hair, done the hot dog dance, put together four different princess puzzles, read six different books, and held ourselves the best princess tea-party a girl could ever have, complete with crowns, pink feathers and only our very best British accents. If I didn’t already know, I would never believe that Ivy was a little girl who has endured terrible medical issues. She is nothing but a ball of energy.

This sweet pea is so much fun.

Peyton would’ve liked her.

“What’s wrong Ivy? Are you okay?” I ask, surprised by her sudden gasp.

“Do you wanna see my woom? It’s BEAUTIFUL! My Daddy made me a biggest huge castle bed. Do you wanna see? Come on! It’s so big you won’t even bewieve it!”

I look to Bryant whose eyebrows are up in excitement as he watches his little girl talk to me. He returns my gaze and shrugs his shoulders. “Frankly I’m surprised it’s taken her this long. She loves that bedroom.”

“Oh yeah?” I turn back to Ivy. “Well then, darlin’, this is something I just have to see! Show me your biggest huge castle bed.”

Ivy takes me by the hand and leads me, literally skipping down the hall, and up the stairs to her bedroom. She opens the door and runs into her room twirling and smiling all over herself. “See? It’s my biggest huge castle and it’s all for me but I share it with Daddy sometimes and I’ll share it with you all the time because you’re a princess girl like me.”

I almost don’t hear a word she says because my eyes are floating in wonder around this little girl’s bedroom. Yes, it definitely looks like pink threw up in here, but it’s the most perfect little girl’s princess room I have ever seen. Straight ahead of me is a beautiful bay window with bench seating, pink of course, and billowy white ruffled curtains. The window overlooks the field in the back of the house. It’s breathtaking. To my right sits a ridiculously large castle complete with steps on one side, and a sliding board on the other.

Damn, she wasn’t kidding. “Biggest huge” is right.

I watch as Ivy walks up the steps and jumps on what must be her mattress. I walk over to the castle and laugh as she rolls around above in her bed. Her giggle is the most joyful sound. I can’t not smile when I hear it. The front façade of the castle has two towers. One right next to the steps, and one next to the slide. In between the towers is a pink sparkly curtain of sorts.