Serpentine Walls (28 page)

Snagging two beers off the drinks table, Pete made his way through the kitchen. He laughed to himself when he opened the pantry door, remembering Matthew’s hilarious teasing earlier that week. He pushed open the far door and walked onto the porch. It was cold, and Pete wondered why Aidan was sitting out here.

He didn’t turn on the light so as not to blind him, and was about to call Aidan’s name when he heard rustling and a laugh that was cut off. Then more rustling, a moan, and a man’s voice saying, “Fuck, yes, right there.”

Pete stood like a dummy, body responding to the pornographic sounds in spite of himself. He had almost decided it was two unknown people he’d barged in on when he heard Aidan’s voice.

“Mm, baby, so adorable. Love how hot you are for me.”

When the other guy gasped out, “You’re killing me,” Pete had heard way more than enough.

He backed up and opened the door as quietly as he could, although the way Aidan and Mr. X were carrying on, a herd of elephants probably wouldn’t have disturbed them. He went back through the kitchen, berating himself for ever entertaining the notion that Aidan Emery had changed his ways, or that he, Pete, was anything more than a notch on his bedpost. Depositing the beer bottles on the dining room table, he lifted his eyes to find Kyle sending him a knowing glance. “Hi, fellow notch” was what he seemed to be saying. Pete gave a halfhearted shrug.

Matthew was across the room, lounging on the sofa with Brooke and a few others, laughing at Elle, who was standing in front of them telling some story with dramatic gestures. What Pete wanted to do was make Brooke scoot over so he could plant himself snugly by Matthew’s side. Matthew would put his arm around Pete’s shoulder, and they’d kiss. Pete would put his hand on Matthew’s thigh and—
fuck
. That little fantasy alone was enough to get him hard.

“How’re you doing?” John stood next to him.

“Not too good. I think I’m going to leave.”

“Already?”

“Yep. Maybe check in with Jed, see if he’s up for video games.”

“Where’s Aidan?” John asked.

“On the screen porch.”

“Why aren’t you out there with him? Y’all looked pretty tight earlier.”

“Because. He’s out there making out with some other dude. Okay?”

“Oh.” And what made John an awesome friend was that he didn’t say “I told you so.”

He and John fell silent, and Pete stared at Matthew. It was hard to take his eyes off him—he’d lost the cigarette pack from his sleeve, and his T-shirt had ridden up, revealing a strip of pale skin just above his painted-on jeans. Matthew caught his eye and waved. Pete inclined his head and then turned away.

“Yeah,” he said to John. “Like I said, I think I’m gonna split.”

“And go see Jed?”

“Yep.”

“For video games.” John raised an eyebrow.

“That’s right.”

Cleo had joined them in time to hear the last part of their conversation, but she made no comment as she moved in to give Pete another tight hug.

“Two in one night?” Pete asked her. “Are you alright?”

“Hang in there,” was all she said before she walked away, John and Pete following her with their eyes.

“What is Cleo smoking?” Pete asked.

“Nothing. I think she cares about you, that’s all. And she cares for Matthew. She wants you all to get your shit together.”

“Tell that to Matthew, then.” Pete looked at Matthew, cozy on the sofa, chattering with his friends. “I’m going to take my crushed heart and leave now.”

John smiled. Pete did not. He left and texted Jed from the front porch while a badly sung “I Will Survive” floated out of the den window—a fitting soundtrack for the current movie of his life.

A
IDAN
stood center stage, hypnotizing the audience with his glare, singing the last song with the rest of the cast:

“
To seek revenge may lead to hell, but everyone does it and seldom as well, as Sweeney Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street!
”

The last strains of music faded, and the rest of the cast exited, leaving Aidan on stage to stare malevolently at the audience before slamming shut the iron door.

The curtain fell and then rose, and Pete jumped up along with the rest of the audience, clapping until his hands were sore as the cast took bow after bow. Aidan took a separate bow, his scowl replaced with a brilliant smile, and Pete joined in the cheers. When the lights came on, Pete sank back into his seat and stayed there for a few minutes before slowly making his way up the aisle and into the lobby, where Aidan already stood, surrounded by a crowd of people.

He watched Aidan, taller than most of his admirers, dramatic and intensely handsome in his black hair and stage makeup, chattering and laughing as he accepted hugs and congratulations.
Damn.
Pete had forgotten what a mesmerizing performer Aidan was. He wanted to slam him against the nearest surface and tear his clothes off. The fact that he’d already seen him with his clothes off, twice, made it that much worse.

Rather than try to make his way through the throng to congratulate him, Pete decided to go home. Maybe a brisk walk in the cold would cure his horniness. It was kind of unbelievable how much he still wanted Aidan. If walking in on his seduction scene at the Crushed Hearts party a few weeks ago hadn’t cured him, Pete wasn’t sure there was a cure. Did people ever get animus figures out of their system? He’d have to ask John.

Leaving the theater, he pulled out his phone and texted Jed. He was definitely up for a blow job tonight.

After a chilly walk along Rugby Road, he opened the apartment door. The first thing he heard was rustling noises and then a laugh from the living room.
Great.
Just what he needed in his current horny state: Angie and Brian nuzzling on the sofa.

“Hey, guys,” he called, going to the refrigerator and pulling out a soft drink.

“Hey, Pete. How was the play?” Angie called back.

Pete walked into the living room and sat on the coffee table in front of Angie and Brian, who were indeed entwined on the couch. “Amazing. I’m still in shock at how good it was.”

“We’ve got to go to that,” Angie said to Brian.

“Okay, hon.” Brian hugged her closer and kissed the side of her head.

“So, how was Aidan?” she asked.

“Incredible,” Pete said in a glum tone, pulling the tab on his soda can.

“Uh-oh,” Angie began, but Brian interrupted.

“I have to go, Ang. I have that econ study group.”

“Oh, right.” Angie stood up with Brian and walked him to the door.

Pete guzzled down half of the soda, set it on the coffee table, and grabbed his guitar, which was propped against the wall. He flung himself on the sofa and started to play, determined to drown out any kissing sounds. When Angie came back, the smile on her face disappeared as she watched him banging out a Hendrix song.

“What’s with you?”

“Nothing.” Pete struck an angry chord and threw his guitar aside.

Angie sat down next to him on the sofa. “Move over a little. What’s going on?” When Pete said nothing, she continued, “Is this about Aidan? Because the guy’s a bastard and you need to forget about him. Guys like him never change—they screw around and fuck with people’s heads. They act so charming and it’s all a bunch of bull.”

“I
was
forgetting about him. I’ll get over it. Don’t get so upset.”

Angie bristled. “You know one thing I hate? It’s guys telling me not to get upset. I’ll get upset if I want to! Why shouldn’t I get upset about men who lie to get people to sleep with them? Who use you and then toss you aside?”

“Okay, Ang.” Pete almost added a “calm down” but stopped himself. He knew she was talking more about Professor R than Aidan right now, but he couldn’t help saying, “Aidan may have used me and tossed me aside, but I let him. He isn’t a liar. He told me from the start that he isn’t available for more.” When she didn’t answer, he shifted on the couch. “I need to get going; Jed’s expecting me.”

“Fine.” She scowled.

“Um, okay then.” But when he made a move to get up, what she said next stopped him in his tracks.

“You’re a liar too.”

“What?”

She glared at him. “And a bastard. You’re lying to Jed, and that makes you a bastard.”

Pete froze. Angie had never spoken to him like this before.

“What are you talking about?”

“You know. You keep sleeping with Jed, and he thinks it means something, and it means nothing to you. But you don’t tell him straight out like Aidan does, so you’re worse than Aidan. You just run to Jed when you need sex and then ignore him, but you never say that’s all you’re interested in. And he’s a really nice guy!” She teared up and turned away to wipe her eyes.

“Um….” Pete had nothing to say, because everything Angie was saying was true.

They sat in a painful silence until Angie faced him again and began to speak in a voice so low that he had to lean forward to hear her.

“Sorry. I guess I relate to Jed. I know what it feels like.”

“Yeah, well, don’t equate me with Professor R,” Pete said, stung into speech by the implied comparison. “I’m not lying to Jed like that. I’m not making him believe this is something special.”

“Aren’t you? Bud already told you that Jed thinks you’re boyfriends. And you aren’t saying anything to contradict that, so you’re leading him on. I see the way he looks at you, Pete. He really likes you.”

Pete stared at his hands. He really didn’t like himself in that moment.

Angie put her hand on his shoulder. “At least tell the guy you’re not interested so he can move on.”

“Yeah. You’re right. I need to be honest.”
It’s called emotional honesty, dude. Give it a try.

“Not only that. You need to stop sleeping with him, period.”

He stared at her as his idea of somehow getting him and Jed into the “friends with benefits” category died. It would never work. He could be honest about this not meaning anything, but he’d be an asshole if he kept trading blow jobs with Jed. Jed was hung up on him, just like he had been hung up on Aidan.
Had been?
sneered his little voice.

Suddenly sick of himself and all the drama his fucking dick created, he straightened up on the couch. “Okay. I’m going to tell him.”

“Good.” Angie flung her arms around him and buried her face in his shoulder. “Thank you.”

“Jeez, okay, okay.” He patted her head, deciding it was probably good that he was gay. He wasn’t sure he could handle being with a woman on a regular basis. All that emotional honesty was intense.

J
ED
opened the door and held it wide for Pete to enter. His dorm room was in its usual state of disorder, rugby shoes piled in the corner and the ever-present smell of sweaty socks in the air. Jed was sweaty himself, running shorts and tank showing off his muscular body, his hair damp. He really was attractive, especially when he smiled, which he was doing now.

“Have you been running?” Pete asked as Jed closed the door.

“Yeah. I was going to take a shower, but you got here too fast.” He walked over to the video game console. “
Mortal Kombat
or
Black Ops 2
?”

Ugh.
Pete wanted nothing more than to say
Black Ops 2
and waste a few hours playing video games and drinking Mountain Dew.
I’ll just leave without sex, and Jed’ll get the message. It’ll be fine. No.
Strap on some balls, loser
.

“Can we talk for a minute?”

Jed put down the video game he was holding and turned to Pete questioningly. “Sure.”

This was already awkward. They were standing there, and Pete would have felt better sitting down, but Jed’s chair was piled with textbooks, and he didn’t think sitting on the bed would be good for this conversation.

“I… I think we should stop having sex.”

“What?”

Pete felt himself flushing. “I just—I don’t see this going anywhere, like as far as a relationship and… um, I think we’re better as friends.”

“Oh.” Jed spoke the word in a monotone, and Pete had no idea how to read his expression.

“Do you—are you, um, did you want us to be, like, boyfriends or something?”
God, I’m making a mess of this.

“I don’t know. I guess so.” He shrugged. “But you weren’t that into it, I guess.”

Pete scanned his face. He seemed to be taking the news okay.

“I… yeah, to me we’re buddies with—you know—benefits.” When Jed appeared to wince at that, Pete added, “Sorry. I still want to be friends.”

“Okay. Whatever you want.” Stony faced, Jed averted his eyes from Pete.

There was a lengthy silence while Pete gazed uneasily at Jed for some clue as to how to proceed, and Jed studied his running shoes in apparent fascination. Looking back on it, Pete decided what he said next came from a combination of idiocy and his tendency to babble when he was in uncomfortable situations.

“I guess ‘friends with benefits’ doesn’t work for me anymore. I think what I really want is a boyfriend. I mean, at some point.”

Pete was listening to what was coming out of his mouth with interest and some surprise, given his “no relationship” stance. He only realized how insensitive he was being when Jed spoke in a surprisingly bitter tone.

“Yeah, just not with me.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean… it’s not you.”
Great, the old “it’s not you, it’s me.” You’re such a dick, Morgan.
He scrambled to say something honest and came up with, “You’re a really good guy, Jed. You deserve someone who’s way into you.”

Jed crossed his arms over his chest and said in a tight voice, “Yeah, right. Like that’s going to happen.”

“Why wouldn’t it?”

Jed walked around him and sat down on the bed, looking defeated. “Can we not talk about this right now? It’s late and I have to be up early for training, so….”

“Yeah, okay.” Feeling awkward as hell, Pete walked to the door and opened it. He turned. “Hey—”

“See you later.” Jed leaned over to untie his running shoes, his expression closed off.