Seinfeld Reference: The Complete Encyclopedia (55 page)

Written By: Dan O'Keefe & Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer

Directed By: Andy Ackerman

Characters: Jerry Stiller (Frank), Estelle Harris (Estelle), Bryan Cranston (Tim Whatley), Daniel Von Bargen (Kruger), Karen Fineman (Gwen), Dave Florek (Harry), Kevin Hamilton McDonald (Denim Vest), Tracy Letts (Counterguy), Amit Itelman (Employee), Stacey Herring (Sandy), Colin Malone (Sleazy Guy), Jerry Dixon (Customer)

167. 
"The Dealership" (1.8.98).
  The gang accompanies Jerry to a car dealership where Elaine's boyfriend, David Puddy, is supposed to arrange an insider's deal on a new Saab.  When Elaine confronts Puddy about excessive high fives, they break up, and Jerry loses the good deal.  Jerry must repair the relationship to salvage the sale, but still loses the deal after refusing Puddy's high five.  Kramer and a car salesman commence a
Thelma and Louise
adventure to see how far they can drive on a tank of gas.  George is famished and has an ireful day battling the indispensable vending machine and a candy bar-stealing employee.

Written By: Steve Koren

Directed By: Andy Ackerman

Characters: Patrick Warburton (David Puddy), Daniel Hagen (Rick), Joel McCrary (Don), Michael Kagan (Willie), Dee Freeman (Service Assistant), Rif Hutton (Salesman), Howard Mann (Willie Sr.), Steve Susskind (Customer #1), Loretta Fox (Customer #2), Catherine Schreiber (Saleswoman)

168. 
"The Reverse Peephole" (1.15.98).
  Citing concern over being ambushed in their apartments, Kramer and Newman install reverse peepholes so they can view the interior prior to entering.  The unauthorized peephole nearly has Newman evicted, and tensions flare when he commences a furtive romance with the building superintendent's wife. 
Subplots:
Jerry implements a wallet diet but has to use a European carry-all (purse) to store his girlfriend's personal effects.  George, on the other hand, refuses to abandon his obese wallet that houses anything and everything.  Meanwhile, Elaine hates Puddy's man-fur, but accidentally discards a friend's identical coat, and then complains about replacing the garment.

Written By: Spike Feresten

Directed By: Andy Ackerman

Characters: Wayne Knight (Newman), Patrick Warburton (David Puddy), Jon Polito (Silvio), Pat Finn (Joe Mayo), Jennette Robbins (Keri), Fitz Houston (Cop), Joe Basile (Delivery Guy), Lauren Bowles (Waitress)

169. 
"The Cartoon" (1.29.98).
  Elaine is bewildered by a cartoon in
The New Yorker
, so she confronts the magazine's editor for an explanation.  When he admits that the cartoon makes no sense, Elaine is offered the chance to submit her own creations.  She labors over one satire, and ultimately submits a plagiarized Ziggy cartoon. 
Subplots:
Jerry demoralizes an aspiring actress by intimating that she should give up the pipe dream, so she turns the suggestion into a successful one-woman show.  George begins dating a woman who resembles Jerry in appearance, which prompts questions about George's sexual proclivity.  Kramer reveals too many secrets so he takes a vow of silence.

Written By: Bruce Eric Kaplan

Directed By: Andy Ackerman

Characters: Wayne Knight (Newman), Kathy Griffin (Sally), John O'Hurley (J. Peterman), Tracy Nelson (Janet), Joe Urla (Dugan), Paul Benedict (Mr. Elinoff), Bart McCarthy (Cab Driver)

Note:
The subplot involving Sally berating Jerry as part of a comedy act is based upon an actual stand-up routine by Kathy Griffin, which was devised after an unpleasant experience as a guest actress on "Seinfeld" (episode 127).

170. 
"The Strong Box" (2.5.98).
  Kramer decides to preserve his valuables by locking them in a strong box, but labors over finding the ideal hiding place for the key.  When Jerry repeatedly finds the key, Kramer places it in a neighbor's pet-food dish.  Meanwhile, Jerry purchases a pair of cuff links that are stored in the strong box, so he is forced to visit a pet cemetery to extricate the key from a dead parrot. 
Subplots:
Elaine dates a mystery man who is silent about his personal life, and ends up being a married pauper.  George's girlfriend refuses to accept his breakup, so he arranges a tryst with another woman.  Instead of both women being upset, they still want a permanent relationship.

Teleplay By: Dan O'Keefe

Story By: Dan O'Keefe and Billy Kimball

Directed By: Andy Ackerman

Characters: Illeana Douglas (Loretta), Alex Kapp (Maura), Louis Mustillo (Phil), Nicholas Paul Walker (Glenn), Mary Scheer (Ms. Smoth), Bonnie McNeil (Alison), Rosie Malek-Yonan (Wife)

Note:
Illeana Douglas has a strong acting resume with roles in
Ghost World
(2001),
Goodfellas
(1990),
Stir of Echoes
(1999),
Cape Fear
(1991), and
Grace of My Heart
(1996).

171. 
"The Wizard" (2.26.98).
  Jerry purchases the Wizard electronic organizer for his father, who is only interested in using it to calculate gratuities.  When Kramer retires and moves to Florida, Morty Seinfeld convinces him to run for condo association president.  They campaign but fail to get the necessary votes when Kramer unsuccessfully bribes board members with the defective
Willard
organizer. 
Subplots:
Sleuthhound Elaine investigates clues to determine whether she is dating a black man, and ironically, he performs the same detective work to discern her Spanish heritage.  George fabricates owning a house in the Hamptons, and attempts to convince Susan's parents of his veracity.

Written By: Steve Lookner

Directed By: Andy Ackerman

Characters: Liz Sheridan (Helen), Barney Martin (Morty), Grace Zabriskie (Mrs. Ross), Warren Frost (Mr. Ross), Samuel Bliss Cooper (Darryl), Edgar Small (Sid Luckman), Vic Helford (Tom), Michael McShane (FDR), Bahni Turpin (Waitress #1), Constance Zimmer (Waitress #2), Jeanette Miller (Old Woman), Murray Rubin (Rubin)

Note:
Writer Steve Lookner used his name for a Seinfeld character in “The Wait Out” (episode 133).

172. 
"The Burning" (3.19.98).
  As a thespian-for-hire, Kramer performs various illness symptoms so medical students can acquire invaluable diagnostic experience.  After a rousing rendition of gonorrhea, he is soon typecast with this disease.  In a related topic, Jerry is dating a woman with a secret involving a tractor incident.  After his futile search for physical deformities, she reveals contracting gonorrhea from a tractor seat. 
Subplots:
George practices office showmanship by leaving meetings on a high note.  Since everyone else's sense of humor pales in comparison, the company president selects George to single-handedly save the company.  Elaine is stunned to discover that her boyfriend is religious, but more concerned about whether she will go to hell.

Written By: Jennifer Crittenden

Directed By: Andy Ackerman

Characters: Patrick Warburton (David Puddy), Danny Woodburn (Mickey), Daniel Von Bargen (Kruger), Cindy Ambuehl (Sophie), Henry Woronicz (Father Curtis), Ursaline Bryant (Dr. Wexler), Daniel Dae Kim (Student #1), Alex Craig Mann (Student #2), Brian Posehn (Artie), Alec Holland (Co-Worker #1), Suli McCullough (Co-Worker #2)

173. 
"The Bookstore" (4.9.98).
  George is busted reading a book in the restroom and forced to purchase the tome.  Every effort to receive reimbursement fails, so he attempts to steal another book and return it.  Meanwhile, Jerry catches Uncle Leo shoplifting books, and alerts security officers to effectuate an arrest.  To absolve his relative, Jerry beckons store security to arrest George for the same crime. 
Subplots:
Kramer and Newman become business partners to introduce the rickshaw to New York City.  The homeless are solicited to pull the carts, but prove to be unreliable employees.  At the annual company party, Elaine has an embarrassing make-out session with a coworker so she pretends they are dating to avoid being labeled the office skank.

Teleplay By: Spike Feresten

Story By: Spike Feresten and Darin Henry & Marc Jaffe

Directed By: Andy Ackerman

Characters: Wayne Knight (Newman), Barney Martin (Morty), Liz Sheridan (Helen), John O'Hurley (J. Peterman), Len Lesser (Uncle Leo), Jonathan Penner (Zach), Ted Rooney (Crichton), John Gries (Rusty), Sonya Eddy (Rebecca DeMornay), Merrin Dungey (Cashier), Kevin Ruf (Security Guard), Heather Morgan (Server), Lauren Bowles (Waitress), Mark Daniel Cade (Walter), Sloppy Joe (Hobo Joe)

174. 
"The Frogger" (4.23.98).
  For all posterity, George attempts to preserve his high score on a Frogger video game.  He makes all the necessary arrangements to move the machine without losing power, but the perfect plan ends abruptly in a real-life Frogger game on a New York City street. 
Subplots:
Elaine takes a stand against office cake parties but soon misses the afternoon sugar rush.  She sneaks into Peterman's office, consumes his $29,000 slice of a royal wedding cake, and then conceals the feast with an Entenmann's pastry.  Jerry dates a woman who finishes his sentences, and an unsuccessful breakup results in the serious relationship weekend.  Kramer is preoccupied with using police caution tape.

Teleplay By: Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin

Story By: Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin and Steve Koren & Dan O'Keefe

Directed By: Andy Ackerman

Characters: John O'Hurley (J. Peterman), Julia Campbell (Lisi), Peter Stormare (Slippery Pete), Reuven Bar (Shlomo), Sam Shamshak (Sal), Wayne Wilderson (Walter), Mark Daniel Cade (Other Walter), Jack Esformes (Mike), Melissa Denton (Kobe), Oliver Muirhead (Lubeck), Drake Bell (Kenny)

175. 
"The Maid" (4.30.98).
  Jerry hires a maid to clean his apartment but eventually they become intimate.  When Cindy continues collecting money without cleaning the apartment, the relationship resembles a stylish sex-for-hire scheme.  After a threatening visit from her "pimp" employer, Jerry offers Cindy money and is arrested for solicitation.  Meanwhile, Kramer's girlfriend moves downtown and while wandering the mean streets, he is propositioned to work for a maid service. 
Subplots:
George desperately attempts to earn the nickname "T-Bone," but all he gets is "Koko the Monkey" and "Gammy."  Elaine decries receiving a new area code, and usurps a telephone number from an elderly neighbor who passed away.

Teleplay By: Alec Berg & David Mandel & Jeff Schaffer

Story By: Alec Berg & David Mandel & Jeff Schaffer and Kit Boss & Peter Mehlman

Directed By: Andy Ackerman

Characters: Daniel Von Bargen (Kruger), Angela Featherstone (Cindy), Anthony Crivello (Maxwell), Markus Flanagan (Charles), Sam Whipple (Phone Guy #1), Kyle Colerider-Krugh (Phone Guy #2), Steve Franken (Brendan), Davenia McFadden (Coco), Damon Jones (Watkins), Chip Chinery (Co-Worker #1), Colin McClean (Co-Worker #2), Anthony Mangano (Fireman)

176. 
"The Puerto Rican Day" (5.7.98).
  Upon returning home from a New York Mets game, the gang is caught in traffic during the Puerto Rican Day parade.  Elaine needs her weekend wind down so she searches for an alternate route to bypass the parade.  George spends the time in a movie theater so he can add a special effects scene, but another patron steals the show with a laser pen.  Kramer joins the festivities, but after inadvertently burning and stomping a Puerto Rican flag, he is chased by angry bystanders.  Jerry has a personal battle with a man in a maroon Golf vehicle, but his primary concern is watching the baseball game on television.  Eventually, George, Kramer and Jerry reunite using various aliases to gain entrance into a posh town house that is for sale.

Written By: Alec Berg, Jennifer Crittenden, Spike Feresten, Bruce Eric Kaplan, Gregg Kavet, Steve Koren, David Mandel, Dan O'Keefe, Andy Robin, Jeff Schaffer

Directed By: Andy Ackerman

Characters: Mario Joyner (Lamar), Dayton Callie (Cabbie), James Karen (Mr. Canterman), Helen Carey (Mrs. Nyhart), Yul Vasquez (Bob), John Paragon (Cedric), Jenica Bergere (Leslie), Monica Allison (Gail), Marcelo Tubert (Father), Armando Molina (Amigo), Tom Agna (Gary), Tom Dahlgren (Priest), Bert Rosario (Man), Raoul N. Rizik (Parade Goer), Scott Conte (Sketch Guy), Mimi Cozzens (Mrs. Canterman), Alison Martin (Lucy), Marc Hirschfeld (Ellis), Chip Heller (Policeman)

Note:
Former Assistant Production Coordinator Jeff Bye played the uncredited role of Counter Guy.

177. 
"Clip Show, Part 1" (5.14.98) (8:00-8:23 pm).
  A retrospective of prior "Seinfeld" episodes using scene snippets and editing outtakes for a sampling of the many hysterical moments in the sitcom's nine-year run.

Written By: Darin Henry

Directed By: Andy Ackerman

Clips Directed By: Andy Ackerman, Jason Alexander, Tom Cherones, David Steinberg, David Owen Trainor, Joshua White

Characters: Jerry Seinfeld (host)

178. 
"Clip Show, Part 2" (5.14.98) (8:23-8:45 pm).
  A retrospective of prior "Seinfeld" episodes using scene snippets and editing outtakes for a sampling of the many hysterical moments in the sitcom's nine-year run.

Written By: Darin Henry

Directed By: Andy Ackerman

Clips Directed By: Andy Ackerman, Jason Alexander, Tom Cherones, David Steinberg, David Owen Trainor, Joshua White