Seeing Black (18 page)

“No. That’s okay. I’m going in for supper
anyway.”

Colton tipped his hat and turned towards Oreo.
Jillian heard him cooing and whispering something to the horse, as
she walked away to meet Rocco for supper.

It is true that liberty is precious; so precious that it must be
carefully rationed.

-Vladimir Lenin

Next morning, a week, or a month later . . .

Jillian opened her eyes and stretched her arms up to
the ceiling. She woke up refreshed. Well rested. Ready to start the
day. She sat up and took in her surroundings.
Huh?
She was
slightly disoriented. Yesterday, she and Rocco had a lovely dinner.
They’d gotten to know each other, and she had been about to leave,
but . . .?

But what happened? Something was off. She stood from
the bed and walked towards the bedroom door. She glanced at herself
in the mirror by the bedroom door. “What the hell?” she whispered
as she tugged on the white linen pajama pants and matching top.
There were matching slippers in her size by the door. “I look like
a reject from a Ralph Lauren catalog,” she whispered.” It was a big
change from the camisole and panties she normally wore. Her red
hair hung loose and very long.
I need a haircut
. Her eyes
were brilliant. She felt rested. Now, if she could just remember
something about it.

She opened the door and went downstairs, making her
way towards the kitchen. What was odd was that she walked as if she
knew where everything was, as if this were not the first time she’d
woken up in this house or walked to the kitchen. It was a strange
kind of déjà vu.

“Hi, darling. Pancakes?” an elderly woman asked,
while flipping pancakes.

“Er, yeah. Sure,” Jill replied, baffled. “Do I . .
.? Do I know you?”

“We play this game every morning, my lovely. Go sit.
I’m making you your favorite.”

Panic was about to set in, but instead, she was
oddly calm. “I can’t seem to remember your name.” Jill held her
fingers to her temples, trying to relieve the dull the ache in her
head.

“Remy, darling, Remy,” the woman said with a
chuckle. Remy placed a stack of the most delicious-smelling
pancakes in front of her with a piping mug of coffee.

“Oh, yes, Remy. Of course,” she wanted to sound
sure, but it came out uncertain. Admittedly, the name did sound
familiar. It came out of her mouth in a familiar way, and the
friendly smile didn’t seem foreign. Jill ate in silence.

“We have lots to do this morning, my dear. Are you
ready?” A familiar voice spoke came from behind her. She turned her
head to see Rocco walk into the kitchen. He placed his hands on her
shoulders and kissed the top of Jillian’s head. The slight panic
that lingered somewhere within her vanished.

“Yep. Just finishing up.” She took a last mouthful
of pancakes. “God, Remy, these are divine,” Jill mumbled, her mouth
full.

“Oh, darling, you always say that,” Remy squeezed
Jill’s hand affectionately as she removed the empty plate.

Rocco had poured himself a glass of juice and was
waiting by the kitchen door for Jill. “Ready?” he asked with a
smile.

“Yep.”

Jill followed Rocco up a slightly familiar staircase
to the white room that held the second staircase and then into the
laboratory. Today, the weather was awful. From the floor-to-ceiling
window, she saw as well as heard the raindrops clank angrily
against the windows. She could see the furious waves crash against
the seawall and the lightning sporadically light the sky. She shook
at the eeriness of the view.

“Are you okay?” Rocco asked from the other side of
the room.

“Never been a fan of the rain.” She turned her back
to the window and faced Rocco as Josef was walking in. “In school,
a lot of girls would hate going to class on rainy days, and they’d
say it was the perfect sleeping weather. Then in college, my
friends would say it was cuddling-with-a-man weather. To me, it’s
shit-our-shelter-is-going-to-fly-away weather.” She shrugged.

“I suppose it is impossible to let go of all those
years on the island.”

“No. Those years will always be part of who I am.
Part of who we are. The impact of those years is probably why
Oliver can’t stay in one place for too long, why Alexander turned
to drugs all those years ago, and why I can’t seem to keep many
permanent friends. It was such a different upbringing. It was hard
to adjust to the real world, and rainy days like these bring me
right back to the island,” she said, turning back around and
getting lost in her thoughts.

It was over twelve years ago, and she was barely
twelve years old. It was a rainy day on Onion Island. A rainy day
on Onion Island was not the same as a rainy day at Rocco’s mansion.
For that matter, it wasn’t like a rainy day anywhere in Texas. On
the island, palm trees looked as if they would break in half like
nothing more than twigs. The wind howled. Literally, it howled, and
the awful howl was so loud it was impossible to hear a person
standing mere inches from you. The raindrops pelted against her
skin. The wind would pick up the sand and hurl it back. It was
sandpaper against their skin, sometimes causing welts on the skin
where the sand assaulted. Alexander, Oliver, and Jillian usually
curled up together under the hut to wait it out while the adults
scurried to cover and secure things that couldn’t get wet.

Jill hated those rainy days. They were the scary
days, and since Jillian and Alexander were usually in some sort of
argument and giving each other the silent treatment, those rainy
days together were met with hours upon hours of silence. Oliver
would sometimes try to get the two to make peace, but both Jill and
Alexander were too proud and stubborn to be the first to falter. So
there was just silence, not that they could have had a conversation
with the blaring wind. When they weren’t in a fight and there
wasn’t lightning, they would play in the rain and see who could
stand the cold pellets the longest. Helen wasn’t fond of the game
and would huddle them together in the dry hut with the rest of the
adults, well, as dry as they could get under a makeshift roof.

The memories of the rain weren’t all bad, but that
last day, when they were saved, the rain was the cause of a yacht
getting shipwrecked on Onion Island and rescuing them. That rain
had caused her to become torn away from the only family she had
ever known, and after that rescue, she hadn’t seen Alexander or
Oliver for years, so, no, Jillian was not particularly fond of rain
storms.

“Jillian, dear? Are you with me?” Rocco tapped her
on the shoulder, bringing Jillian’s head out of Onion Island and
back to Wonderland.

“Oh, um, yes. Sorry ’bout that. My mind wandered.
So,” she drawled, “what are you teaching me today?”

“You’ve really mastered PRV these last few months,
so I want to—”

“Excuse me?”

“What?”

“Did you say months? I just met you a few weeks
ago?” Josef stepped forward. “Who is this?” Jill pointed at
Josef.

“This is Josef, my brother.” Rocco seemed
exasperated by having to explain this to Jill. ”You were so much
better yesterday. You remembered everything. You hadn’t relapsed in
weeks. Jill, you’ve been here six months. That’s why you’ve
practically mastered—”

“Six months! Oh my God.” Jill looked left and then
right. She started to walk towards the door, but Rocco took a step
in front of her. She broke out into a cold sweat, and her heart
started to pound. Rocco took a cautious step towards her, and Jill
took one back. She felt like a cornered lamb. “I need to get out of
here.”

“No, dear, you want to be here. Remember? We agreed.
You were so eager. You forget sometimes, but you’ll remember soon.
It’s okay, really.”

“Then why can’t I remember anything. I don’t
understand.” Jill wrapped her arms around her midsection, bracing
herself. Her eyes were wide, and she was looking for a way out.

“You have to think, dear. Of course you remember.
You’re just confused.”

“No. No! I want to go home! I want to go home now!
Where’s Alexander? I want to go home.”

Josef took another step forward with a syringe in
his hand. “Get away from me!” Jill walked back, but the two men
were now close and stalking closer. Her back was met by a wall, and
there was nowhere else to step.”

“Should I?” Josef said to Rocco.

Rocco ever so slightly shook his head side to
side.

“Get away from me or I’m going to scream! You’re
that man who gets in my head. I remember. You threaten me. Get away
from me!”

“Jill, honey, listen to me. You’re having a panic
attack. You know where you are. I’m your father. You have to trust
me. I would never hurt you. Come here, dear.” He opened his arms to
her.

“No! Get away. I want to go home. Why can’t I
remember anything?”

“Jillian,” this time he said it a bit harsher, no
sympathy in his tone. “Come here. Take my hand. It will be okay.
You’ll see.”

“Wh-what does he have in his hand? He wants to hurt
me.” Jill was pointing at Josef.

“No. It’s just to calm you down. If you don’t want
it, we won’t give it to you. In fact, if you want to go home, I’ll
walk you out myself.”

Jill nodded in the affirmative. She was shaking. The
confusion and the lack of memory were overwhelming.

“Okay then. Let’s go home. If that’s what you want,
then let’s go,” Rocco held his hand out to Jill, who was cowering
against the window, trapped by the two men in front of her. After a
moment, unsure and unsteady, she reached her hand forward and Rocco
took it. The fear began to subside. Her heart relaxed a little;
although, she still trembled.

Her eyes were still wide, and one hand was still
wrapped around her torso as if she were holding herself together
with that one arm. “I want to go home,” she repeated, but this time
with a lot less certainty.

Rocco gave Josef a nod, but before Jill could
process what was happening, Rocco took the hand that he had gently
held, jerked it towards him, and then held her so that Josef could
quickly prick her with the syringe. She’d never stood a chance.

All she was able to yell before her eyes closed was
“No!” Her heart rate completely calmed, and her fears left her
body.

She became jelly in Rocco’s hand, and the last thing
she remembered was Rocco and Josef speaking to one another, “We
can’t keep giving her this…She loses more of her memory each
time…Can be toxic…Wasn’t calming down fast enough…Won’t remember a
thing when she wakes…Starting to think she doesn’t know
anything.”

***

Jillian opened her eyes and stretched her arms up to
the ceiling. She woke up, refreshed. Well rested. Ready to start
the day. She sat up and took in her surroundings.
Huh?
She
was slightly disoriented. Yesterday, she had had a lovely dinner
with Rocco. They’d gotten to know each other, and she was about to
leave, but . . .?

But what happened? Something was off. She stood from
the bed and walked towards the bedroom door. She glanced at herself
in the mirror by the bedroom door. “What the hell?” she whispered
as she tugged on the white linen pajama pants and matching top.
There were matching slippers in her size by the door. “I look like
a reject from a Ralph Lauren catalog,” she whispered. It was a big
change from the camisole and panties she normally wore. Her red
hair hung loose, and her eyes were brilliant. She tugged on one of
her curls, curiously. She was in desperate need of a haircut. She
had definitely had a wonderful night’s sleep. Now, if she could
just remember something about it.

She opened the door and went downstairs, making her
way towards the kitchen. What was odd was that she walked as if she
knew where everything was, as if this were not the first time she’d
woken up in this house or walked to the kitchen. It was a strange
kind of déjà vu.

“Good morning. How’d you sleep?” Rocco sat at the
kitchen table, sipping tea.

What had she been thinking about? “Wonderful. Thank
you. And you?”

“Oh, I’m a deep sleeper. I can sleep through an
earthquake,” Rocco said.

“Me too. I suppose we have that in common.”

“Indeed we do.”

“So what’s the plan today?” Jill asked.

“We’re going to keep going with Psychic Remote
Viewing or PRV for short. You’ve done so well thus far, but I want
you to master it, so we’ll work on some more distant visions.”

“What do you mean?”

“First tell me this: what is the last thing you
remember? Can you remember what happened yesterday?”

“Um, yeah. I was in school. You’re asshole brother
threatened me to come over. I was so tired I fell asleep, and now
I’m here. Wait. Jill stopped for a moment. “My memories are all
jumbled. I think you’re right about the tiredness getting worse and
worse every time. Why do I remember sitting in a room with you, and
why does this PRV thing sound familiar.”

“Don’t you remember? You did fall asleep on
Wednesday after your class and didn’t wake until Thursday morning.
You agreed to start our training that day. It got late, so you
agreed to just stay the night instead of having my driver take you
all the way back home.”

“So today is Friday? And Alexander—”

“Yes. It’s Friday, and you called him. He
knows.”

“Oh, well, okay then. Thank you for letting me stay
the night.”

“It has been my pleasure, dear,” Rocco said, placing
one hand on Jill’s shoulder as they walked together into the lab
and towards the great wall of windows as Jill held her orange juice
in one hand and a banana in the other. “Have you had any visions
since your arrival?”

“Nope. Nothing. But I don’t normally have them every
day. I can’t wait to learn to control my visions. This PRV thing,
is it hard? These sporadic episodes can be so embarrassing.”