Seeing Black (10 page)

“No!”

“The reason I don’t want to push you is because you
freak out so easily, as you’ve just demonstrated. You looked at the
box as if it were a ticking bomb. What I was trying to say before
your crazy Oliver rant and your spaz attack was that once you move
in and, yes, more—and you know exactly what more is, but we can’t
even say that word because you will completely freak—you have to
know that it’s forever. You’re not moving in then moving out
because you felt you made a rash decision. I need you to be
sure.”

Through the mirror, she looked at her necklace, at
herself, and at Alexander who stood behind her and took a deep
breath. “The necklace is beautiful, baby. Thoughtful.” She kissed
the hand that he had on her shoulder then turned around to face
him. “Gorgeous.” She leaned in and kissed his neck. “Stunning.” She
moved even further down and kissed tip of the V on his shirt.
“Beautiful.” She reached for the hem of his shirt and lifted. His
body stiffened against her lips as she moved even lower. Her eyes
moved up to meet his piercing blue eyes. Locked into his eyes, she
undid the button of his slacks and then pushed him on her bed. On
her knees, she pulled his pants down, together with his boxer
briefs.

He cleared his throat. “So you like it, then.”

“Oh, yeah, I like it.”
She was so
revved up that she couldn’t form a coherent thought to save her
life. Instead,
for the next few minutes, she proceeded to
show him exactly how much she liked it with her mouth.

If life gives
you a bowl of lemons, go find an annoying guy with paper
cuts.

-Helen

A very annoyed Heather and a very angry Oliver
stepped out of Heather’s car and walked into the night club. Dinner
had been a little tense because of the delay in eating. Jill and
Alexander had been as fast as possible, but when they had finally
stepped out of the room, flushed, with hair out of place and a
little skip in their step, no amount of pretending could cover what
they’d just done.

“Come on, guys, don’t be mad. Drinks are on me,”
Jill offered.

“Sugar, after having to sit for a half hour with
Oliver, secretly wishing I was doing the same thing you were doing
with your man but with Oliver, you bet your cute lil’ ass drinks
are on you,” Heather sassed, locking an arm around Jill and leading
the way to the club. Oliver and Alexander followed close behind.
There was a long line to get in, but Heather walked with them right
to the front, said something to the bouncer, and less than a minute
later, they all sat at a small table close to the dance floor, but
not so close that they would get trampled by all the people
dancing.

The music pounded, the strobe lights flashed, and
the sweaty crowd danced and swayed with drinks in hand. Music was
felt rather than heard. There were so many people packed into the
room, sharing the same oxygen, that it was difficult to breathe. It
was extremely stuffy and hot. The club oozed sex: people thinking
about it, people wanting it, and some actually having it. It
smelled of sweat, nicotine, and liquor. After the first round of
drinks had been ordered and drunk and a second round had been
brought over to the small table by a petite woman wearing a hot
pink skintight micro mini dress, Heather must’ve conjured up enough
liquid courage to stand up, grab Oliver’s hand, and demand he dance
with her. Obviously willing to oblige, no demands necessary, he
followed her towards the herd of people dancing with a huge grin on
his face. He rocked to the music, Heather’s body tightly held
against his. Oliver could move, as in
really move
. Their
hips gyrated in sync, and Jill could see he said something into
Heather’s ear. Heather tipped her head back and laughed loudly.
Jillian couldn’t hear the laugh over the music, but she knew
Heather’s laughs. Jill knew that Heather never held back, so it was
surely a loud bellow. From where Jill sat, she saw one of Oliver’s
fingers shoot up and trace the curve of Heather’s neck when she
tipped her head back. Heather looked back at him quickly, and the
mood between the two seemed to change quickly.
Way to go,
Oly!

Alexander stood up, lifting Jill to her feet in the
process. “Come on,” he said, as he led her to the dance floor. The
fast tempo changed to a slower one as soon as their feet hit the
dance floor. It wasn’t slow enough to be considered a slow dance,
but it was slow enough that when Alexander pulled her in close,
instead of bouncing up and down, they rocked side to side. She
turned, her back to his front, and he wrapped an arm around her
waist. Their hips continued to rock side to side. “I’m so turned on
right now,” Alexander whispered in her ear. Her head fell back to
his shoulder as they moved to the beat of the music, and his arm
around her waist tightened. She could feel on her back exactly how
turned on he was. He bent his head down and kissed her neck. “Mmm.
Sweaty.” He inhaled deeply.

She turned her head to the side. “Gross.”

“Not gross.” He groaned. “Delicious.” His tongue
peeked out of his lips, and he licked the spot where her neck met
her shoulder. She shivered. Alexander used the arm he had wrapped
around her waist to propel her around so they were once again
dancing front to front. She reached up and pulled his head down. He
opened his mouth, allowing her tongue access. She kissed him hard
and long, and when she was finished, she nipped his bottom lip and
then kissed his neck. She then licked her lips and tasted his
saltiness, “Yes, delicious,” she said. His eyes hooded and he
groaned again.

“Fuck. I need a drink, or we’re gonna have to get
out of here soon. You’ve made me insatiable.” With his hand on the
small of her back, he led her back to their table. Oliver and
Heather were still somewhere among the sea of people.

Alexander moved closer to Jill in the small booth,
not that he wasn’t already pretty close. “You look so good, babe.
Every guy here’s staring at you. I don’t know if I should be proud
or jealous as hell.”

She heard what he had said but was unable to process
the information. She could only see him between flashes of light.
Heat from the crowded bodies was making her hot, and sweat began to
trickle down the nape of her neck and down her back. It had to be
the number of people packed in so closely that was making her so
overwhelmingly hot. A crowded room of people would do that to a
person. And nausea. The nausea must’ve been from the two glasses of
wine she’d had during dinner and the second vodka tonic she’d
recently consumed.

“Baby? You okay?” Alexander ran his knuckles gently
along her face. “Fuck, you’re burning up.” She felt him scoot even
closer. At this point, she was practically sitting on his lap.

“Um. Yeah. No, I’m fine. Sorry, what were you
saying?” She was most definitely not feeling well.

“Are you okay, babe?” Alexander asked softly but
with so much underlying concern that it pulled her out of the weird
black haze.

“The music. It’s so loud.” She winced and couldn’t
help covering her ears. Noise had never bothered her before, but
now, she felt blood rush to her ears. Suddenly, the slight feeling
of nausea totally consumed her. The burn moved up her esophagus.
She quickly realized what was happening.

“It’s a club. Of course it’s loud.” He stood up and
began to pull her up. “Come on. I think you need some fresh
air.”

“Xander?” she whispered right before she felt a tug
on her arm. All she saw were flashes of light, pounding from the
music and from her chest. All her senses were on fire. Sensory
overload. Her mind was unclear.
Confusion. Panic.

“Fuck.” Alexander sat back on the small couch and
scooped her up onto his lap. Then the trembling started. It was
uncontrollable. She was burning up, yet her teeth chattered. It
started from the tips of her stilettos all the way up to the top of
her head. Jill felt Alexander’s hands caress her arms up and down
to warm her. She wanted to tell him she was burning up, but he must
of misread the shivers and thought she was cold. Unfortunately, all
form of speech had left her, and she was unable to communicate this
to him. She clenched her hands into fists. All she could see was
the sea of people swaying side to side and up and down between
flashes of the strobe lights and the beats of the music.

Tall. Muscular. Long hair. Unshaven. Piercing blue
eyes rimmed red from a sleepless night. Nude. Completely and
utterly naked.

Her eyes were focused straight ahead, unblinking.
Her breathing came in and out in small gasps as she tried to focus
on what she was seeing. She continued to blindly stare straight
ahead. She was completely still, unseeing, and unaware. Her eyes
were open but almost as if she were unconscious. She was rigid. Her
breathing was harsher.

Pressed against the beautiful man. A woman. Long
blond hair. Leggy. Tall. Deep blue eyes, blond eyelashes, thin
pouty lips. Both her hands in pink polish pressed firmly against
the man’s bare chest. Pleasure and something else showed through
her eyes. Embarrassment, maybe?

“Oh. My. God,” she panted.

“Come back to me. I’m here. You’re okay. I love you.
Come back to me. Focus on my voice.” Alexander’s arms around her
body tightened as he whispered soothing words of love into her ear.
Then she heard different voices.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” Oliver placed his
palm against Jill’s forehead.

“Honey? You okay. Look at me, sugar,” Heather
begged.

A bare bicep. A nude thigh. A woman bent over. Then
blackness.

First, she saw the strobe lights flash. She then
heard the pounding music. Next, she felt arms suffocating her. She
began to blink, to breathe.

“What’s going on? What is it? What did you see?” It
was Alexander’s voice.

“What happened? How long was I . . .?”

“Less than a minute, honey. You okay?” Heather
said.

“Hot.”

“What?” Oliver asked.

“So hot,” Jill mumbled.

“Sugar, you’re suffocating her.” Heather said to
Alexander.

“Oh, shit. Sorry,” he loosened his grip around her
but kept her on his lap.

“I saw you. You were . . .” Jill’s lips quivered.
Her eyes stung, and as hard as she tried not to cry, the tears had
already formed and were about to make their début. And once those
tears began it was almost impossible to stop them.

“I was what?” Alexander asked. She just shook her
head as if she couldn’t clear the memory.

“Babe?” He continued to stroke her hair. Heather
came back with a glass of water and some wet napkins that she
pressed against the back of Jill’s neck. The club was so full of
people that no one noticed what was occurring at the table.
Alexander reached for the cup of water and pressed it against
Jill’s lips. She reached up to hold the cup, but her hands were
uncooperative. He must’ve noticed, so he held it up to her lips.
She took small tiny sips. The heat was now all-consuming, but even
worse was the overpowering exhaustion. She swayed slightly, eyelids
heavy and threatening to close.

“Can you walk, love? We need to get you out of
here.” Alexander asked.

She just nodded, and Oliver helped her up from
Alexander’s lap.

Luckily, she was in a dance club amongst drunks, so,
being as she was walking like a drunk, she blended right in. She
was swaying, her eyelids heavier and heavier with each passing
second. Like dead weight, she leaned against Oliver until she was
scooped up by Alexander, who carried her out of the club and to the
car. Safely in his arms, she let the fog consume her mind, and she
was asleep within seconds.

***

She was sweating. She was uncomfortable. Something
heavy was draped over her stomach. “Xander?” she whispered.
Nothing. She tried to move but was just too tired to make a
full-blown effort. “Xander?” a little louder this time.

He jackknifed off the bed. “Huh? What?”

“Xander? What happened? What time is it?”

Sleepily, he lay back on the bed and re-wrapped his
limbs around her body. “How do you feel?”

“Tired.”

“You’ve been sleeping for hours.” He turned and
looked over his shoulder then burrowed his face back onto the
pillow. “Twelve hours to be precise.”

“What?” She said, louder this time.

“Yeah. You fell asleep. Well, more like passed out,
last night around one in the morning, and it’s midday now.”

“Alexander, you’re suffocating me.” She pushed his
limbs off of her.

“Oh. Sorry.” He scooted over, slightly.

“What happened?”

“Good question. You tell me. We were at the club,
talking, having a good time, and you zoned out completely. What
happened? What did you see?”

She was silent for a few minutes, trying to get her
thoughts in order. Alexander was twirling a strand of her hair,
lazily. A naked beautiful man who looked a lot like the man who was
currently playing with her hair, had been touching a beautiful and
familiar-looking woman.
Shit, shit, shit.
The tears started,
and they kept going and going.

“Jill? What’s wrong?” Alexander sat up and held Jill
up to his chest. She didn’t speak, just kept crying and crying.

“Babe? Please, what happened? What did you see?
You’re scaring me. Is it you? Were you hurt? Or Oliver? Me?”

She shook her head and kept crying. He just held her
and caressed her back until she was a hiccupping, blubbering mess.
“Y-you cheated on me.” She smacked his chest. Hard.

“Ow!”

“Asshole! You cheated on me!”

“I did not! I would never.”

“I saw it. She’s tall and blond and beautiful, and
you’re naked, and you are ch . . .” The waterworks started
again.

He snorted.

“Are you laughing?”

“Sorry, Red. It’s just so ridiculous. You know I’d
never cheat on you. I’ve been trying to get in your pants for like
twenty years! I’m not about to fuck things up when things are just
starting to get good.”