See the Light (3 page)

Planting his heels on the mattress, Patrick arched off the bed again as he thought about whether or not Jason could take him to the root, letting him push into his throat. Dangerous thoughts, but they proved to be successful. Patrick cried out as jet after jet of warm, creamy cum coated his hand, his dick, and his belly. Reaching behind him, he quickly pulled off his T-shirt, using it to wipe himself up. He hated using his clothing to wipe up his jizz like he was a fucking fifteenyear-old, but in his hurry he hadn’t thought to grab a towel or even a tissue.

He felt like an asshole. Not only was he lusting after a man nearly half his age, but that man happened to be one of the players he was supposed to be advising. Even if he was crazy enough to act on the attraction, there was no way it would end well. And when had Roney become Jason in his head? He called all the players by their nicknames just like everybody else did, and he had no idea when that subtle shift had occurred, but it made Jason seem more like a man and less like a young player Patrick had no business dallying with.

After ordering room service, Patrick flipped through about a million channels, looking for a decent movie to watch. Right around the time he was cursing out the hotel’s television system for not having a damn thing worth watching, there was a knock on his door.

After tipping the man who’d brought up his food, Patrick took his plate and leaned against the headboard, blindly shoving food into his mouth as explosions from some mindless rough-’em-up, shoot-’em-up movie enveloped the room. He was actually surprised when he glanced down and encountered an empty plate. Even with a gun to his head, he doubted he could describe what dinner had tasted like. With an agitated groan, he rose and began pacing the room. He needed to do something before he lost his goddamned mind.

With a snap of his fingers, he recalled seeing a small arcade in one of the alcoves off the lobby. Maybe they had a pool table or something. Hell, he’d take a fucking pinball machine at this point. He needed to blow off steam in the worst way, and he didn’t much care how he did it, as long as it didn’t involve beating down Jason’s door and shoving his tongue down the kid’s throat.

An hour and a half later and twenty bucks sacrificed to the gods of the arcade, Patrick was finally able to relax enough to go back upstairs. That calm lasted until he turned on the television and saw the back of a dark brown head of hair. Then all his lust for Jason roared back to the surface, and with a disgusted huff Patrick stalked into the bathroom to take another cold shower and jerk off again. This shit was getting old.

Fate wasn’t on Jason’s side. Everywhere he turned, Patrick was there. The man had been acting strangely ever since their confrontation in the hall, and Jason lived in fear that Patrick had seen something that day and would out him, despite his gut feeling Patrick wasn’t like that.

Another night, Patrick and Jason found themselves on the same elevator at the hotel. Jason groaned to himself when Patrick followed him when he exited on his floor. He knew Patrick didn’t have a room on this floor and braced himself for the inevitable. The best thing to do now was go on the offensive. When Jason reached his door, he clenched his fists at his sides and spun around. “Why are you following me?”

Patrick stopped dead before turning his gaze to the floor, where he worried at a small hole in the carpet with his shoe. “Shit.”

“What?” Jason wouldn’t stand there like an idiot, waiting for the guillotine to fall. Almost without a conscious thought, he took up a battle stance.

The older man held out a hand in supplication. “Please, just let me explain.”

Jason’s eyebrows drew down as Patrick raised his gaze, and Jason read myriad emotions in them. Pain, guilt, shame, and hidden under all that, lust.

He wasn’t willing to let the man off the hook until he knew what he wanted, so he barked out, “Talk.”

Patrick indicated Jason’s door. “Can we go inside? We shouldn’t stay out here in the hall, not with what we need to talk about.”

“And what is it we need to talk about?”
Jason watched as Patrick cleared his throat and shifted his weight from side to side. In a voice barely above a whisper, Patrick said, “Our mutual attraction.”
“Fuck.”
Patrick ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, what you said.”
Without another word, Jason unlocked his door and swung it open, motioning for Patrick to go in ahead of him. As soon as he was in the room, his eyes locked on the king-size bed dominating the space. Fortunately there was a desk chair and a small arm chair, and Patrick fell into the arm chair as Jason slowly lowered himself to the desk chair.
Jason blew out a breath. “So you’re —”
“Yeah. And so are you.”
“How the hell did you know that?” The question came out as little more than a snarl. He saw Patrick arch an eyebrow.
“I’ll admit you had me fooled for a while, but once I saw you check me out and looked into your eyes, I knew.”
“When did I check you out?”
“In the hallway a couple of days ago when we talked.”
Jason’s stomach churned.
Busted
. There was no use lying, especially since Patrick had already admitted he was gay too. “Can anyone else tell, do you think?”
“No. You hide it well.”
Closing his eyes, he murmured, “Thank God.”
“But I saw it, I
see
it, and we’re in deep shit.”
“How do you figure that?” Jason shifted in his chair. Even now his cock was half-hard, but he didn’t want the other man to notice his excitement. “I’ve hidden attraction before.”
Patrick blew out a loud breath. “Yeah, but were you trying to hide it when the other person was doing the same thing and there are countless people around at all times?”
“I’ll deal with it.” Rubbing the sudden ache at the back of his neck, he gestured toward Patrick. “Besides, if we can’t do anything about it, why even come here and dredge the whole thing up?”
“Because I think that’s better than trying to ignore it. I don’t know about you, but it was driving me crazy.”
Jason shot to his feet. “And you think now that we know we want each other, things will get easier? Are you fucking delusional?”
Patrick rose as well and stalked over to him. “No, I’m not ‘fucking delusional.’”
Jason stared at the other man, the lust burning him where he stood. He moved even closer, like a moth to a flame.
What the fuck am I doing?

Apparently Patrick didn’t know either, because his expression became alarmed. “What?”

I can’t stop.
“I need to do this.”
Not giving Patrick a chance to react

to his words, Jason grabbed him, one hand palming the back of Patrick’s head as Jason’s other arm snaked around the man’s waist, pulling him into Patrick’s rock-hard body. It was obvious the man kept in shape, despite his playing days being over, and a tortured moan escaped before he could stop it. Jason dived into Patrick’s mouth as the passion flared, melting him from the inside out. He hadn’t kissed a man in years, and he realized how much he’d missed it as the kiss went on and on, neither man willing to let the other go.

He could feel Patrick’s cock as it lined up with his, and even through layers of clothing Jason felt the heat pouring off the other man. It made him want to submit to anything Patrick desired, which confused him. Honestly Jason couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a man’s dick in his mouth, but right now he’d give just about anything to suck Patrick off.

Patrick pushed them backward until they crashed into the wall, never letting their lips separate as he took control of the kiss. With a growl, the older man reached down and cupped Jason’s ass, pulling their cocks even closer and rubbing them together. Jason turned his head to the side with a gasp to break the kiss before he passed out, but Patrick kept at him, scoring his teeth down Jason’s neck to his pulse point.

All Jason could do in return was give a helpless little whimper. Just as suddenly as Patrick had shoved him, he pulled away. Jason struggled to remain upright, letting the wall support the majority of his weight as he forced his gaze to Patrick’s. Both men were panting, and when Jason glanced down at Patrick’s crotch, it was obvious the other man was still sporting an impressive erection. Somehow Jason knew if Patrick spun him to face the wall, he’d gladly offer this man his ass.

What is
wrong
with me?
Patrick’s eyebrows drew down. “Fuck. You make me forget. I can’t forget, and neither can you.” With a shake of his head, Patrick turned toward the door. “I gotta go.”
Jason watched him leave, speechless. Why had Patrick come here? Why make a big fucking deal about how they couldn’t act on their attraction, and then still let Jason kiss him senseless? He stumbled to the bed and lay down on his back, staring at the ceiling. Shit. Now that he’d had a taste of Patrick, he wanted more. A lot more.

Patrick pushed his way down the hall, still breathing hard. He started to shake and prayed he didn’t encounter anyone from the hockey program. There was no way he could explain his current state. He couldn’t do this.
They
couldn’t do this, and yet as Jason stared at him after Patrick had said that in his room, he’d looked both lost and horny as hell. Patrick had never done anything like this, had never lost control. And it wouldn’t happen again. It couldn’t.

His whole point in following Jason off the elevator had been to encourage the kid to slake his lust somewhere else, so maybe Patrick would have a chance in hell of keeping his sanity. He’d never moved in on another guy’s man, and if he knew Jason was taken, he’d back off, even if the jealousy threatened to choke him. But then Jason kissed him, and all his thoughts had scattered like a bucket of pucks thrown on the ice.

He resolved to ignore the other man for the remainder of camp, no matter how hard it would be. Maybe he could spend extra time in the coaches’ office, watching game tape and drawing up strategies. If he didn’t see Jason, maybe he wouldn’t be so tempted to toss him on the ground and fuck him six ways to Sunday. Patrick snorted. And maybe pigs would fly, or the Leafs would win the Stanley Cup.

Using every bit of resolve available to him, Patrick slogged through the rest of the camp, keeping his head down and staying out of close proximity with the players whenever possible. He was mostly successful, but during the last two days of camp, he was forced to participate in several team-building exercises. Watching Jason take part in the exercises, designed specifically for the team by a couple of Navy SEALs, made Patrick’s dick harden and his breath catch. The man was poetry in motion. Patrick had been forced to stop tucking his USA Hockey polo shirt in to try to hide his hard-on.

A couple of times, Jason had looked his way, and Patrick died a little inside at the combination of lust and anger in the other man’s eyes. Patrick didn’t blame him. How could he? Patrick was the older of the two. He was there as a coach, for fuck’s sake. He should’ve shown better judgment.

Everything came to a head during an end-of-camp celebratory dinner that lasted all night as course after course of food was brought to their party. Patrick and Jason were seated next to each other, despite Patrick’s attempts to get and stay away from Jason, and all the big bodies crowded around the table made it impossible to not brush against each other throughout the evening.

Every time Jason’s thigh rubbed against his or they bumped shoulders as they both reached for something was torture. Patrick’s cock was being strangled inside his dress slacks, and he doubted Jason was in any better condition, judging from the little looks he was darting Patrick’s way and the expressions on his face as the night wore on.

Patrick was careful not to drink much, knowing it would only make him ache for Jason more, but Jason seemed to be taking the other tack, tossing back several beers throughout dinner. They all shared cabs back to the hotel, and Patrick told himself to go to his room, lock the door, and take care of his raging erection himself.

It followed Jason into an elevator along with a few other guys, and soon they were alone. He heard Jason sigh in front of him but was too far gone to back away now. Patrick needed Jason like he needed air. It wasn’t even a question of sanity at this point; Patrick had lost that battle days ago. No, touching Jason was a necessity.

Jason got off the elevator, and Patrick followed. As soon as they were both clear of the elevator doors, Jason turned and faced Patrick, the color in his cheeks high.

“Look, man, I’m sorry.”
“What?”

“I shouldn’t have done that.” He waved vaguely in the direction of his room. “You’re right. We shouldn’t be messing around like this.”

Patrick stepped closer and watched as Jason swallowed thickly. “So if I turn around now and press the button for the elevator, you’ll just let me leave?”

“I didn’t think so.” Pointing down the hall, Patrick said, “Now.”
Jason wasted no time and strode down the hall, his long legs eating the distance to his door quickly. He slid the plastic key card in the lock and then swung the door open. Patrick pushed past him, and when the younger man closed the door behind him, Patrick crowded him into the corner.
“You backing out?”
Shaking his head, Jason stammered, “N-no. Couldn’t even if I wanted to.”

“Are you sober enough to know what you’re doing?”
I’m going to hell for this.
“Yeah.”

If Patrick was going to do this, to risk everything, he needed to know the other man could handle it.

“I’m sure.”
“Come with me.” Grabbing his soon-to-be lover’s hand, Patrick stalked to a position beside the bed. “Take off your clothes.” This was crazy. This was wrong. But shit, it felt so right. Patrick sat on the edge of the bed, forcing his hands to curl into the bedspread. “Do it.”
Jason’s hands shook as he began to unbutton the open-necked dress shirt he wore, and Patrick actually salivated as the man’s toned chest and abs slowly came into view. Obviously Patrick had seen many a fine-looking body on his fellow players before tonight, but something about Jason made him hard as a rock. Pulling the tails of the shirt out of his dress slacks, Jason then pushed it off his shoulders and tossed it on a nearby chair.
“Aren’t you going to get undressed?”
“No. You’re going to do it for me. But I want you naked first.”
“Just so you know,” Jason said, straightening to his full height, “I don’t bottom. I like to be the one in control.”
Patrick grinned. “I’m equal opportunity and don’t really care too much if I’m bottoming or not, but for now, I’m in charge.”
Jason frowned.
“You’re thinking too much.” Jerking his head toward Jason’s pants, he ordered, “Keep going.” The younger man took a deep breath before unbuttoning and unzipping his slacks. As the material parted, the tip of his cock peeked out from over the waistband of his underwear, and Patrick groaned. “So ready.”
With a silent nod Jason finished undressing and stood in front of Patrick, letting him look his fill. Then he sank to his knees, and Patrick groaned again, clenching the bedspread with a whiteknuckled grip as he tried like hell to get himself under some semblance of control.
“Your turn. Lift up.”
He did, and Jason undid his pants, sliding them all the way down and off and taking his boxers with them. After an appreciative glance at Patrick’s cock, which was so hard it was nudging his belly, Jason reached up from his position in front of Patrick to unbutton and pull off Patrick’s shirt and then the undershirt.
Patrick’s brain exploded when Jason leaned forward and sucked Patrick’s dick into his scorching, wet mouth. “Fuck!” And this kid thought he was a top? Shit, what would he be like if —and hopefully when—he got more comfortable with bottoming?
As if he knew the direction of Patrick’s thoughts, Jason moaned, and Patrick’s ass lifted off the bed, thrusting of its own volition. Jason backed off, licking up the precum leaking freely from Patrick’s cock.
“Get up here. I want to suck you off too.”
Jason, as expected, didn’t argue, and they quickly arranged themselves on their sides before they each dived for the other, Patrick taking a moment to lick and fondle Jason’s full balls. Jason groaned.
“Shit, that feels good.”
“Keep sucking, baby. You make me crazy.”
With a sound of pure, agonized need, the other man took Patrick inside again, and he had to concentrate on pulling himself away from the cliff for a moment. When it felt like he’d beat his orgasm back, at least temporarily, Patrick engulfed Jason’s stiff prick with his mouth, using his hand in counterpoint to jerk the shaft while he sucked the head. Jason tasted like sweat and pure male, and no matter how young this guy was, he didn’t feel like a kid. Not at all.
His erection pulsed once in Patrick’s mouth, and he tensed, but Jason pulled off Patrick long enough to take a shallow, shuddering breath.
“Close.”
“Wanna make you come.”
Barking out a laugh, Jason retorted, “Not going to be hard.”
“Feels pretty hard.” Patrick took the younger man in his mouth again, running his tongue up and around the cockhead before sinking farther. Jason shifted, pushing his dick inside, and Patrick had to back off or gag. “Easy, kid.”
“Not a kid.” Jason scored his teeth ever-so-gently on Patrick’s shaft like he wanted to prove that point, and Patrick moaned, then moaned again as more precum seeped from the head of the younger man’s cock.
No more words were needed as each worked the other with lips, teeth, and tongues. Jason was the first to go over, spurting down Patrick’s throat. The vibrations from the incoherent noises Jason made as he came sent Patrick over the edge, a second deluge coming when he spotted his spunk leaking from the corner of Jason’s mouth.
He pulled himself around and attacked Jason, pulling the larger man on top of him as he pushed a hand into Jason’s hair and his tongue into his mouth, tasting himself there. Jason wasn’t a passive participant as he sucked Patrick’s tongue and then bit his bottom lip, soothing the ache with quick swipes of his tongue.
Patrick rolled but misjudged and nearly sent both of them toppling off the bed. The spell was broken as both men scrambled, laughing. “I guess that move needs some work, or I’m not as coordinated as I used to be.”
“Or we need a bigger bed.”
Thinking of his California king back home, Patrick groaned.
“Not that I’m—”
“I know, I know.” With regret, Patrick stood and began to dress. “We scratched an itch, that’s all this was.”
“Uh, okay.”
For a moment Patrick thought he’d hurt the man’s feelings, but when Jason lifted his head and looked at Patrick, anything that might’ve been in his eyes had cleared.
“Sure. Well, I’m pretty tired…”
“Yeah, me too.” Without another word, Patrick tucked himself back into his clothes and left. As he returned to his own room and got ready for bed, he was dogged by the feeling that he’d fucked up. Things were already so complicated. He’d risked so much. Had it been worth it? With a sigh, Patrick turned off the light and rolled on to his side.