Secrets of My Hollywood Life: Family Affairs (11 page)

BOOK: Secrets of My Hollywood Life: Family Affairs
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“WHAT?” Laney yells. I didn’t even know she got up this early. “I’M ON MY WAY TO MY TRAINER’S. WHERE ARE YOU? ON SET?” She must have the top down on her BMW convertible because the highway sounds much louder than usual.

Ralph stares at me with a goofy grin. “Yep,” I lie. “I have to go.”

“WHAT ARE YOU UP TO? YOU’RE ACTING STRANGE.”

Oh God. Oh God. Ralph’s playing with his pocket protector again. The pens make a clicking sound when they bang together. He begins tapping his arm on the back of his seat impatiently. “Nothing! I swear. Just busy. I’ll call you later.”

Laney cackles. “I’M JUST MESSING WITH YOU. I CALLED TO TELL YOU
HOLLYWOOD NATION
IS PRINTING A RETRACTION ON THE EXHAUSTION GARBAGE. I SAID, ‘KAITLIN BURKE IS A HUGE STAR AND YOU CAN’T TREAT HER THIS WAY.’ YOU DON’T HAVE TO THANK ME,” she adds.

“Thanks anyway, Laney,” I reply gratefully. “But I’m about to walk on set and it’s really noisy here. I’ll try you later,” I yell, hanging up and quickly hitting the power button. I laugh nervously.

“On set?” Ralph repeats. “Does someone not know you’re here?”

“My publicist,” I admit. “And my parents. They were against the whole driving school thing. They wanted me to get a private instructor who teaches celebrities.”

Ralph nods. “Overprotective,” he says. “A lot of parents are that way.” His pens click together again. The sound is kind of annoying. “But are yours more so than most? I’ve read your mom can be a bit of a barracuda, no offense.” He leans in closer and I lean back against my door to move away.

“My mom’s like any mom of a . . .” I wrinkle my nose. “Mom of a . . . AH-CHOO! Teenager. Always worrying,” I say with a tight smile.

“Are you tired of the spotlight, Kaitlin?” Ralph’s brow fur-rows as he stares deep into my eyes. “You can tell me if you want. I won’t tell anyone. The stress is getting to you, isn’t it?”

What? What is he talking about? I look through the rear view window and see Nadine, Rodney, and Austin deep in conversation. Nadine is pointing to a paper in her hand and looks like she’s yelling. She picks up her cell phone and starts dialing. I don’t need to call them over, do I? Ralph is just being a little forward, that’s all. I’ve had fans do that before. “Should I start the car?” I ask, ignoring his questions.

He looks disappointed. “Sure,” he mumbles.

I turn the key and the car roars to life. I wait for my first instruction.

“Now take your foot off the brake and ease on to the gas pedal. That’s the pedal on the right,” Ralph instructs me.

“Today we’re going to stay in the parking lot. For the next class, I’ll take you out on the streets.”

I pause. “Don’t you want to give me any safety precautions before I start?” I ask, feeling anxious.

Ralph looks flustered. “Oh yeah, uh, I forgot. Well, you seem like a smart girl. After all, you’re a movie star. I’m sure you know everything already. I’ll tell you if you’re doing something wrong, okay? You can start driving.” He smiles and I can see the yellow stains on his teeth.

What a weirdo. I guess he’s just nervous. I do as I’m told. My big foot lies heavily on the pedal and we lurch forward. Ralph almost smacks his head on the dashboard.

“BRAKE! BRAKE!” Ralph says. “Okay, let’s start with something simple. Put your foot
lightly
on the gas again and let’s do some simple turns around the parking lot.”

I steer slowly, putting my foot on the brake every time I see the speed dial go above twenty-five. I keep my eyes on the road, closing them only when I sneeze, which is a lot. After about ten minutes, I feel like I’m starting to get the hang of it. I’m driving! That’s when I realize Ralph is staring again. Not at the wheel or the road, but at me.

“I have to ask you this,” Ralph prods. “Is it true you and Sky Mackenzie don’t get along?” He leans into me, but since the car is in motion, I really can’t do anything about it. He’s starting to make me nervous.

“Gee, Ralph, I thought you knew nothing about celebrities,” I joke. “Why the sudden — AH-CHOO! — interest?” I desperately need a tissue.

He laughs nervously. “I started reading up on you last week after you called,” Ralph says. “I wanted to know more about you so we’d have something to talk about.”

Oh. I guess that makes sense. And he would have read about Sky. News about our feud is legendary. “AH-CHOO!” I feel myself sweating more profusely now that I’m out of the cold and I begin to feel dizzy.

“So do you like her or not?” Ralph tries again.

“Maybe we should try parallel parking,” I reply, jerking the wheel too hard. I recover and try to straighten out. My hands grip the steering wheel so tightly that I’m afraid to lift one off to wipe my sweaty brow. It’s definitely hot in here.

“In a minute,” Ralph says insistently. “Come on, we’re friends, right? I have to know the truth. Do you like Sky or not?” He leans over again. Why does he keep doing that? I take my eyes off the road and stare at Ralph’s chest pocket. The pens are bulging out of the protector. For the first time I notice his pocket looks fat. Very fat. Fat enough to hold a tiny tape recorder. OH GOD.

Before I say anything, I feel a bump. It feels like it’s coming from the backseat.

“What was that?” I ask, alarmed.

“Nothing,” Ralph says quickly. “Just a box. IT WON’T MOVE AGAIN.”

Why is he yelling? Wait. There isn’t someone in the car with us, is there? I would have noticed, right? Right? But what if there is? ABORT! I have to get out of here, just in case. I steer the car toward Rodney and Nadine again and realize they’re running toward me. Nadine is waving her arms wildly. Since Austin is in the best shape, he’s way ahead of them, and he’s yelling, “STOP!”

Something’s wrong. They know it. I know it. I’m starting to feel faint. Okay, don’t make it obvious, Kaitlin. Just get out of the car before Ralph sees your entourage freaking out. Walk away and you won’t cause a scene. “Ralph, I’m not feeling so — AH-CHOO! — hot. I’m going to end the lesson here.”

“What? No!” Ralph says sternly. “We’ve only been at this for ten minutes.” He changes his tone, his voice much softer now. “Come on! I’ve got so much else to ask you — I mean, teach you.”

“No, I’ve got to go,” I interrupt. I can’t just jump out of the car since I’m behind the wheel. Instead, I focus on driving toward the Lincoln and pulling in behind it.

“KAITLIN! STOP!” I hear Nadine yell.

“Just five more minutes, please,” Ralph begs. He sees Nadine and Rodney barreling toward us and he looks like he’s sweating. “I haven’t even asked you about the Tom Pullman story in
Hollywood Nation
.”

What? This is worse than I thought. WHY don’t I listen to Nadine? WHY? Haven’t I learned my lesson by now?

“Sorry.” I halt the car and put it in park. I unbuckle my seat belt. “I don’t want to talk about it. This session is over.” My face is burning. I don’t know if it’s because I’m upset or if I’m not feeling well, but it’s taking all my energy not to tell Ralph where to put his
Hollywood Nation
s.

“NO. Wait!” Ralph begs, grabbing my arm a little too tightly. He locks the door with his free hand and I feel my throat constrict. This isn’t good. I push him off me and grasp for the door handle.

Austin’s fists hit the closed window with a thud and Ralph and I jump.

“GET OUT OF THE CAR, KAITLIN,” Austin yells in a scary voice I’ve never heard before. “NOW.”

I don’t argue. I grasp the door handle. Then I hear . . .

CLICK. CLICK. CLICK.

I whip around and see Macho Mark, from that Web site XLA.com, in the backseat taking pictures. “Hey, Kates,” he purrs.

We call him Macho Mark because he’s vain — with good reason. He has short brown hair and always wears tight tees that show off pecs worthy of a star turn on
General Hospital
. He’s so cute that sometimes you forget to run from his camera.

Now isn’t one of those times.

“I knew it!” I scream at Ralph and unlock the door. “You sold me out!”

“Do you know how much this lousy school pays?” Ralph says, his voice icy. “I had to call the tabs. Mark said he’d cut me a deal. A few pictures of you will cover my rent for a year!”

“You’re awful, Ralph! I can’t believe I trusted you. Give me that camera,” I say, reaching blindly for Mark’s equipment.

“No,” Ralph says, and before I can stop him, he has thrown the car in drive. In one quick move, his left leg is on the gas. I scream and thankfully Austin jumps out of the way before the car starts to move slowly.

“What are you doing?” Macho Mark bellows. “You’re going to hurt someone!”

“I’m getting you a few more minutes of pictures,” Ralph barks.

In a fit of rage, I wrestle the steering wheel away from Ralph and that’s when it happens.

BRAKE. GAS. BRAKE. SWERVE.

BOOM!

Steam rises over the dash and Ralph, Mark, and I look up in horror. Ralph’s sedan is pressed against our Lincoln, which has a huge dent in the rear bumper. OH NO! I look out the window and see Rodney’s hand instinctively cover his face. Rodney’s car! Our car! Oh God. I look around to make sure everyone — including Ralph and Mark — is okay. They look more shocked than anything. I burst into tears. I let out a loud sneeze and then have a huge coughing fit, which could be a panic attack. I’m not sure. My body is overheating. Is something burning?

“Kaitlin! Kaitlin!” I hear Austin and the sound of Rodney and Nadine running behind him. He throws open the door while Ralph and Macho Mark are still in shock. “Are you okay?”

“You idiot!” I hear Macho Mark say, smacking Ralph in the head. “That’s not how we do things. She could sue!”

Austin guides me out. Mark shakes off the shock and he jumps out of the backseat to keep taking pictures. Rodney barrels past him. He’d probably like to deck him, but he can’t without risk of being sued. These photographers know all the loopholes and right now, we’re in public.

UGH. Nadine was sooooooo right.

“Not only am I an awful driver, but I’ve made another huge mess,” I sob.

“Get out of here!” Nadine screams at the top of her lungs, making a scene as she starts with Ralph and Mark, whose camera keeps snapping. “You’ve crossed the line! We could sue for this!”

“You’re too late,” Ralph gloats, pointing to his chest. “I have everything I need right here, on tape, just like the tabloids asked!”

OH GOD. “I didn’t say anything! AH-CHOO!” I yell.

Rodney throws me in the back of the Lincoln and Nadine and Austin pile in as Macho Mark keeps shooting. I want to scream at him, but that would just make things worse. Rodney screeches away and I hear Ralph scream, “Who’s going to fix my car?”

“Kates, are you okay?” Nadine asks, her voice full of worry. “I knew it. I just KNEW it. Right after you pulled away, I felt compelled to look at Ralph’s confidentiality agreement. Look at what that jerk wrote.” Her hand is shaking as she holds out the paper for me to read. In sloppy handwriting, I see the words “Mickey Mouse.” “I tried calling you, but your phone was off,” she adds.

A single tear falls onto the paper and I look up at Nadine and start to cry again. “I’m such a fool,” I wail.

“Kates, don’t say that,” Nadine soothes. “You thought with your heart instead of your brain. It happens.” She smiles and wipes away a tear from my right eye. “Tell us what happened when you got in the car.”

I quickly explain — interrupted by a series of gulps, sobs, and sneezes — about Ralph’s grilling, the fake pocket protector, and when I realized Macho Mark was in the car. I wait for Nadine to scream at me, but instead she says over and over, “Kates, I’m so sorry. I should have stopped you.” She puts her arm around me as Austin wraps Rodney’s sweat-shirt around my shivering body. “I didn’t want to be right.”

“Kates, we’re taking you home,” Austin says. “You’re really sick.”

I shake my head, and I feel too weary to even answer. “Maybe just a nap and then I’m going to work. Can’t miss work.” I groan. “Mom and Dad are going to kill me,” I sob, thinking of the twisted chrome on the Lincoln and Ralph’s dented sedan.

“Ralph is probably already on the phone with
Celebrity Insider
and Mark’s photos will be online before we even get home,” Nadine says with disdain. “I’ve got to call Laney and try to fix things.” I close my eyes, too dizzy to think about how she’s going to want to kill me.

“I’ll pay you for the car damage, Rodney,” I sob.

“Don’t you worry, Kaitlin, we’ll take care of everything,” Rodney promises. “Right now, let’s just get you home and to bed.”

I sit up and lay my head on Austin’s chest.

Maybe when I wake up, this will have just been a really bad, AH . . . really bad . . . AH-AH-CHOO! Dream.

FRIDAY, 10/12

NOTE TO SELF:

Pay back Rodney 4 damage.

Think about asking Dad 4 an advance on allowance.

Eight:
Fever Hysteria

101.7. That’s what the ear thermometer read when Anita took my temperature minutes after Austin carried me fire-man-style past my panic-stricken mother (“She’s sick? Are you sure? She doesn’t look ill.”) and tucked me into bed. Anita was steps behind him with a thermometer, Tylenol, ginger ale, and a phone, so that she could call my doctor and ask him to make a house call. But between Mom pestering Austin about Nadine’s whereabouts (she was calling Laney) and Dad asking whether I’d followed the proper protocol for calling in sick, Anita couldn’t hear a thing the doctor said. She got that constipated look she gets when she’s mad and ordered Austin (“Sweet dreams, Burke.”) and my parents (“Are you sure that thermometer is working right, Anita?”) out so that I could nap in peace.

That lasted for exactly forty-five minutes.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE SIGNED UP FOR A DRIVING CLASS BEHIND YOUR BACK?” My mother’s voice startles me out of a deep sleep. “NADINE, ONCE YOU FOUND OUT, WHY DIDN’T YOU STOP HER?” Nadine’s muffled voice seeps through the walls, but I can’t make out what she’s saying. I should be going down stairs, but my head hurts so much I can barely lift it off the pillow. Poor Nadine. She doesn’t need to take the brunt of this. Wait till she tells Mom about Ralph recording me and Macho . . .

“MACHO MARK WAS IN THE CAR? HOW DID NO ONE REALIZE THAT MACHO MARK WAS IN THE CAR?” Mom screeches. “SHE DOESN’T NEED ANOTHER MEDIA FRENZY, NADINE! GET ME LANEY! GET ME LANEY RIGHT NOW!”

UH-OH. I sit up a little too fast and feel dizzy. I hold on to my distressed white nightstand table, pull myself up, and make my way to the door. I stop for a quick rest next to my Orlando Bloom poster. I grab my sage green robe hanging on the back of the door and peek my head out. Nadine’s voice becomes clear enough that I can make out a few words. “Kaitlin . . . drive . . . Lincoln . . . dented . . .”

“KAITLIN HIT OUR CAR?”

“What kind of car was Kaitlin driving?” my dad asks, sounding not the least bit upset. If anything, he sounds excited to be discussing his favorite subject: automotives. “Did you catch the make or model?”

“Mom? Dad?” I try to yell, but it comes out as a whisper. My body feels clammy and I’m too weak to walk the long hallway. Instead, I slump down on the cream-colored carpet and lean against Matt’s bedroom door. “Matty? Nadine? Anita?”

“Wow, Nadine wasn’t kidding — you look like a ghost,” Matty observes as he bounds up the staircase in a rugby with a crisp white collar and carpenter-style jeans. His blond hair is hidden under a backward royal blue Dodgers cap.

“What are you doing home?” I close my tired eyes.

“Tom sent me.” Matty sighs. “When word got out that you were sick, somebody in the cast freaked out about germs and worried I would infect the whole set. Monique has to tutor me here today.” He pauses. “By the way, why are you lying in the hallway?”

“I was trying to get downstairs to protect Nadine.” Did someone turn up the heat in here? “By somebody, do you mean Sky?” I ask.

Matty is silent. “Not exactly.”

Hmph. I guess Sky doesn’t make sense. She would have been thrilled I was taking a sick day and would have catered a smoothie cart to celebrate. She also would have kept Matty around to report back and make me crazy. “Well, then who wigged out?” I speak slowly, trying to catch my breath.

Matty mumbles something I can’t understand. “Who?” I ask. He mumbles again. “I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

“Alexis,” he tries again very quietly.

“ALEXIS?” I dissolve into a huge sneezing fit. “Alexis sent you home? She’s unbelievable! How could you like her, Matty? Please don’t like her. She’s no good for AH-CHOO!”

“Cover your mouth,” Matt says. “I don’t want to need a sick day tomorrow.”

“Sorry,” I say and strain to hear Nadine again. “What did Alexis say about me?”

“She was really nice,” Matty says a tad defensively. “She took up a collection to send you flowers and couldn’t stop telling anyone she saw how awful it was that you weren’t feeling well.”

“Show-off,” I say under my breath.

“HOW DID SHE MANAGE TO BOOK A DRIVING SCHOOL WITHOUT ANYONE KNOWING?” I hear Mom scream.

“What’s going on down there?” Matty asks. “Is it true you cracked up the Lincoln?”

“You’ve got to help me downstairs, Matty,” I beg. “I’ve got to rescue Nadine.”

Matty offers me his arm. “I’ll help you back to your room, but that’s it. You’re in no condition to go toe-to-toe with Mom. Nadine can handle the fire.”

I’m so tired, I don’t argue. Matty helps me back to bed and I sink into my pillows and six hundred thread count sheets. I push aside my used tissues and the large box of Kleenex and take a sip of the ginger ale Matty is holding out for me. I look around my bedroom. I wish I got to spend more than just sleeping hours in here. I absolutely love my whitewashed furniture, canopy bed, serene blue walls, and striped bedding and I feel like I never see it during the daytime. Hello, room!

“Do you need anything else?” Matty asks.

“No.” I feel very groggy. “Thanks, Matty. Oh wait. There is one thing. Wake me in ten minutes so I can see Nadine. Need . . . to . . . see . . . Nad . . . ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.”

“Kaitlin? Wake up.” Matty nudges me gently.

I jump up. “What?” I ask. “Has it been ten minutes already?”

“More like eight hours,” Matty says.

“Eight hours!” I sneeze violently.

“Anita wouldn’t let me wake you, but everyone has been calling. Austin checked in three times, Liz twice,” Matty rattles off. “Tom called and even, um, Sky.”

“Sky?” Wait. I must still be dreaming. “Sky called?”

My door swings wide open and Laney saunters in wearing a three-quarter-length-sleeved black-and-white-striped top and wide-leg black trousers. “I’m assuming Sky was calling you about this.”

I brace myself for a major lecture from Laney. But instead, she silently turns on the TiVo box and Mom, Dad, and Nadine file in behind her. Nadine looks like she’s been tortured. She gives me a weak smile and I feel my stomach do a series of somersaults. Nadine got in trouble with my mom and it’s all my fault. I have to tell Mom and Dad that. I open my mouth to speak and
Celebrity Insider
’s Maggie Swanson beats me to it. I glance at the TV and see the sleek, rail-thin blond model-turned-celeb-anchor standing in front of a video screen showing pictures of Sky and Alexis.


Family Affair
’s Sky Mackenzie lying about her age? It’s true, and we’ve got the video to prove it. You’ll only see it here, next on
Celebrity Insider
!”

I’m flabbergasted. This is what Laney wants to talk to me about? Not my driving disaster?

“When was
Celebrity Insider
on set?” Matty frowns. “I didn’t know they were coming to talk to us.”

“I guess it was after you were quarantined,” Nadine says. Matty glares at her.

I forgot
Celebrity Insider
was going to be on set today! The whole cast was being interviewed about being the longest running primetime series on television. I was looking forward to it. Maggie Swanson is one of my favorite interviewers.

“Tonight’s piece was supposed to be about life on the set of
Family Affair,
” Maggie says. “But we’re saving that for next week because while I was on set today, I witnessed longtime star Sky Mackenzie having an altercation with darling newcomer Alexis Holden. Take a look.”

OH NO. I watch as Maggie’s interview begins. Maggie and Alexis are standing on the
FA
set and Alexis is wearing a way-too-revealing beige low-cut monochromatic sundress. “And now the girl everyone is talking about, Alexis Holden,” Maggie beams, her smile laser-white. “Tell us about life on
Family Affair
, Alexis.”

“I love it,” Alexis gushes. “By the way, Maggie, awesome top. Where did you get it?”

Maggie looks down at her cute brown knit halter. “Thank you! I just got it at Intuition. I bet you get to wear a lot of cute clothes like these on
Family Affair
.”

“Definitely,” Alexis says. “And I have some breaking news about Colby that I want you to hear first. I just found out myself and I’m busting. Originally she was only supposed to be on for a few episodes, but after fans reacted so strongly to the character, the network decided to let my story arc continue indefinitely.”

“WHAT?” I attempt to yell (it sounds more like a cough). Indefinitely? I can’t handle working with Alexis indefinitely! What does that mean? I can’t deal. How is she managing to change things so quickly? Matty tries to turn away so that I won’t see his face break into a grin so wide it could crack his face in two. Traitor.

“What great news! Alexis is sticking around, and you heard it first on
Celebrity Insider
,” Maggie says. In the background, I see Sky in a bright yellow floral halter-style silk minidress. “Did you hear that, Sky?” Maggie yells across the stage.

Sky hurries over, all smiles for the camera. “What’s that, Maggie?” Sky asks sweetly, avoiding eye contact with Alexis.

“Your new costar is staying on indefinitely!” Maggie marvels.

Sky blinks nervously.

“This is such a great day, Maggie,” Alexis gushes. “And do you know what makes this news even more special? Today is Sky’s birthday.”

“No, it’s not,” I tell the TV. Everyone in the room looks at me and I forget for a moment the hot water I’m in. “Sky’s birthday is in January. She turns seventeen a month after I do. She never lets me forget it.”

Back on TV, Sky is laughing. “Alexis, my birthday is in January. I’m sixteen,” Sky tells the camera. “I’m a month younger than Kaitlin Burke.” She winks.

The camera pans wide and we see Alexis pull a license out of her handbag. “Oh, I’m sorry,” Alexis says. “I got confused when I saw this.” The camera closes in on the California State license. There’s no doubt about it — it’s Sky’s. “I’ve never been great with math, but doesn’t this mean you’re seventeen going on eighteen today?” Alexis asks.

“Oh. My. God,” Nadine says. “Sky lied about her age! Why?”

“Every year counts in Hollywood,” Laney explains. “Maybe her family worried she wouldn’t have gotten the part if the studio knew she was older. A year makes a big difference when you’re four.”

Matt falls back on my bed and dissolves into uncontrollable laughter. I’m too shocked and weak to say anything.

“This is good,” Laney says as they break for a commercial to heighten the anticipation of Sky’s meltdown. Why do TV shows always do that? “Maybe the press will be all over this Sky age fiasco and forget all about your driving mishap.”

Laney gives me the evil eye.

Oh. I guess I’m not off the hook.

“I know you’re sick so I won’t grill you, but that was a pretty silly thing to do.” Laney’s voice is cool. “I’m going to have a tough time coming up with a convincing statement for this one.”

Mom looks at me and raises her right eyebrow in solidarity.

Gulp. “I know that now,” I whisper. “Can we talk about this later?”

“Kaitlin, I’m just so disappointed in you,” Mom starts, but Matty interrupts.

“Can you guys chill and let her rest? We can deal with this later.” I smile weakly at Matty. He can be really sweet when he wants to be.

“Besides, look at the TV,” Nadine points out, her face pale. She grabs the TiVo remote and rewinds to the image that startled her.

“Where did you get that?” We see Sky squeak. She lunges for the license. Alexis falls backward, landing on her backside, and Maggie helps her up. “You broke into my dressing room, didn’t you?”

“No, no,” Alexis says innocently. “I swear. I found it on the floor.”

“Yeah right,” I mutter.

“I didn’t know you would be upset about me mentioning your birthday,” Alexis says to Sky and then to Maggie. Her eyes are wide and she’s totally playing the ingenue card. “I thought I was just being nice.”

The camera turns to Sky. “You two-faced, conniving shrew!” Sky grits her teeth. “I’ll get you for this!” She storms offscreen. I half expect Sky’s face to turn green, a witch’s hat to appear, and for her to say, “And your little dog too!” But it doesn’t happen.

Alexis is teary. “I didn’t know she was lying about her age,” she sniffles. “I just wanted everyone to know today was Sky’s birthday so we could celebrate.” Maggie looks mournful and hugs Alexis. I’m still speechless as the camera cuts to coanchor Brian Bennett and Maggie standing on the
Celebrity Insider
set.

“Wow, Sky Mackenzie has some explaining to do, huh, Maggie?” Brian asks, looking picture-perfect in a pin-striped suit (Brian always dresses as if he’s a news anchor rather than a tabloid reporter).

What Alexis did to Sky is awful. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I actually feel bad for her. Mom and Laney are so busy yapping about how Sky will lose out on younger roles that we almost miss Maggie’s segue to the next segment.

“But what our viewers are probably wondering is where Kaitlin Burke was during this fiasco,” says Maggie. “Producer Tom Pullman said she was sick, but our cameras caught her out of bed and behind the wheel of a car taking driving lessons.”

OH NO! Maggie, I thought you liked me.

“But I’m really sick!” I say hoarsely, clutching my tattered teddy bear. “The lessons were just a coincidence.” I think I’m going to throw up.

“They’ve got footage of your accident already?” Laney’s face is flush. “I thought there were no video cameras there, Nadine.”

“Don’t blame her,” I beg. “None of this was her fault. It was mine.”

“There weren’t any cameras,” Nadine cuts in. “I don’t know what they’re talking about. The only people there other than us were Ralph and Macho Mark.”

Celebrity Insider
flashes to a picture of the West Olive parking lot I was at only this morning. Standing in front of his dented sedan is Ralph, his few strands of hair combed neatly.

“Oh God, please tell me you already contacted this guy about paying for his car,” Laney groans.

“Not exactly,” Nadine says quietly. “Things have been kind of hectic today.”

“It was only this morning that Kaitlin took her first-ever driving lesson with Ralph Abersam of Wheel Helpers auto school,” Maggie’s voice-over explains. The Dave Matthews Band’s song “Crash” plays in the background. “Tell us about Kaitlin.”

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