Secretly More (9 page)

“Oh fuck.” The words left him in a breathy rush before he could stop them, and his spine stiffened as he remembered he spoke aloud, giving himself away, but Kimber still didn’t seem to know it was him. Why would she? She didn’t know him like this. The reminder made him bold as he pressed his cock against the crotch of her panties, thrilling to how she broke their kiss to release a gasp. He vowed to do more than make her breath catch. That is, if he wanted to go through with what was in danger of happening.

He rocked against her, wanting to make her scream as he stroked his way up the outside of her thighs, the dress riding higher and puddling just under her belly button and revealing lacy, black boy-cut panties. The sight was one straight from his wet dreams. His control rapidly deteriorated, and his desires overruled his ethics as she reached beneath herself to untie the back of her dress, making it possible to slip it off her body with ease. He sat back for a moment, staring at her. Her blonde hair was a bird’s nest, her lips were puffy and pouting from kissing, and the black blindfold remained in place. Her bra matched her panties, and she looked so damn appetizing, he had no idea how he could just walk away now.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, suddenly sounding shy.

He cleared his throat. “Nothing.” He forced his voice to a husky, indistinguishable growl. “You’re perfect.”

Jay caressed her everywhere, taking the time to study her by the light of the one red bulb and enjoying the needy twitches of her body. He wanted to memorize her. A sprinkle of freckles of her chest reminded him of the Andromeda constellation. There was a small mole on her ribcage that he’d never noticed before. She had two white scars on her left knee, likely leftover from childhood. His breath came faster at the thought of everything else about her he had left to discover.

He unclipped her bra and peeled the fabric from her skin, and his mind clouded, seeing her small, bare breasts topped with light areolae for the first time. Unable to help himself, he lowered his head, capturing a hardened peak in his mouth, and she groaned, arching her back upward, pressing herself against him. His brain refused to comprehend what was transpiring. He turned his attention to Kimber’s other nipple, fueled by her responses and acting on instinct and want. Logic and morality had never been so foreign to him.

As he savored and kissed his way to her belly button, he tried to rationalize what he was about to do next. Kimber was going to go ahead with this anyway, right? Wouldn’t it be better if it were him than some other guy who could be crawling with diseases and might treat her as if she were disposable? He couldn’t let that happen to her, especially after all that shit she went through with Dane. She deserved to be with someone who respected her, who cared if she got off, who understood that this wasn’t just a game.

This line of thinking brought him to the waistband of her panties, and he glanced up at her, seeking signs of hesitance but saw none. She’d tilted her head back and was chewing her bottom lip as she teased her nipples with her fingers, her hips twitching slightly in anticipation. There really was no going back now.

He took a deep breath for courage, peeled aside the crotch of her panties and flicked her swollen clit with his tongue. Her whole body jerked at the sudden contact and a choked
oh
left her mouth. The reaction urged him on, and he batted his tongue against her clit, his efforts slowly building in speed. He couldn’t believe he had his head between Kimber’s legs, couldn’t believe he now knew how her cunt tasted, how she sounded when she groaned in pleasure. His cock throbbed to the thought of her climaxing because of him.

Jay teased her clit with his lips as he slid a finger inside her, and she released a moan in response. He worked up a rhythm with his hand and mouth. She was so wet, hot, and tight, and he pictured how her slick walls would feel around his cock.

“Oh God.” Kimber arched toward the ceiling, pushing her cunt farther against him. Her breath came in pants, and she gave a whimper every time he dipped his finger deep inside her. “Oh God, oh God.”

The sound of her had him embarrassingly close to coming himself. He added a second finger with his next thrust, wanting nothing more than to fuck her—really fuck her, in a way he was pretty sure Dane never had. Kimber’s
oohs
and “oh Gods” grew in frequency and pitch, and he was determined to see this through to her satisfaction. He maintained a steady rhythm until Kimber shuddered and the muscles of her cunt clenched and unclenched his fingers.

Jay rose, kissing his way up her stomach, his body heavy with unsatiated lust. When he arrived at her mouth, she gave him a greedy kiss. Then she broke away.

“Do you want to fuck me?” she murmured against his lips.

He could hear himself swallow and his mouth went dry. He tried to respond but no words escaped. How could he answer that honestly? Wasn’t that taking it a bit too far?

“Because I really want you to fuck me.” She punctuated her request with a kiss, and he kissed her back, distracted beyond comprehension. Every nerve in his body screamed warring decisions.

“You sure?” he finally whispered, his voice scratchy and low.

“Mmm-hmm.” She tightened her legs around him, emphasizing her decision.

He drew away, his heart hammering as he fumbled in his jeans pocket for the condom Moquest had given him earlier when he’d found out Jay was bringing Nicole—the sure thing—to the party. Nicole—he’d forgotten about her. He’d forgotten a lot of things in the past half hour, it seemed.

As he unzipped his pants and rolled on the condom, he thought of how much shit he was in. Prior to this everything could be blamed on the heat of the moment, albeit barely. What was about to transpire seemed different—premeditated. If he was honest with himself, wasn’t this whole evening premeditated? Hadn’t he known all along what would happen and he did nothing to stop it?

He glanced at Kimber, pulling her knees up to her chest to more easily slip off her panties. There she was, offering herself to him on a silver platter. Was he really too polite not to dig in? She was completely bereft of clothes and brimming with want—for him.

On the other hand, how could he do this to her? He was forsaking their friendship for one moment of insanity. But he couldn’t imagine leaving now, conscience be damned. Something about that option, no matter if it was the moral high road, didn’t feel right for so many reasons.

Unable to resist, Jay returned to the space between her legs, wondering if she could hear his heart. He bit his lip, feeling her skin brush the hardness of his cock. How could any of this be real? She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him close. Knowing what was true in his own heart, he positioned himself at her entrance and pushed inside.

He couldn’t prevent the groan at the feel of her encompassing him so completely; he couldn’t have imagined it any better. She moaned at the initial contact, locking her ankles at the small of his back as he withdrew and returned to her. The moment was surreal but better than a dream. His thrusts were slow, deep, and measured, intended to build and bring her pleasure and stave off his own orgasm, which drew closer every second.

Kimber wasn’t making it any easier for him, with her breathy whimpers in his ear, the way her body felt against and moved in time with his, and how she clutched his back, nicking his skin with her fingernails. He buried his face in the side of her neck, trying to hold onto his last scrap of control, but her scent and her voice and her entire entity consumed him, making it impossible to do much more than speed up the rhythm he created.

“Oh God.” Kimber was definitely an
Oh God
kind of girl. She bucked into him. “Oh God. More…”

He gritted his teeth, not knowing if he could handle much more. But he obliged, slamming in and out of her, trying his best not to think about her “oh Gods” in his ear and how slick and tight she was and how her cunt was clenching around his cock, wringing the rest of his control from his body. Jay stifled his groans in her hair as he came in response to her second climax of the evening. Then he squeezed his eyes shut as reality pushed back to him, replacing the peace following his orgasm, and he reluctantly withdrew from her, already missing her touch.

Jay dressed quickly, hating himself for so many reasons as she struggled to a sitting position.

“Where are you going?” she asked. “Are you leaving just like that?” She moved to take off the blindfold.

“No!” He hit the light switch, plunging them into complete darkness, and zipped his pants. “I’m sorry,” he croaked and darted from the room, ducking inside the bathroom to get rid of the condom and regain both his composure and his sense of self.

Back there, he could’ve been anybody to Kimber. What’s worse was that he’d treated her like he was.

Chapter Four

Before last night, Kimber had never been fucked before.

She didn’t even count the brief, unmemorable encounters she’d had before Dane, with whom she’d come the closest to simulating sex. They’d indulge in the obligatory routine of kissing this, groping that, licking and sucking until their tongues got tired. Then he’d wrap his dick in latex and slide it inside her, and it’d feel okay. Sometimes he’d hit the right spot in the midst of his erratic thrusting, and sometimes she’d near a climax. Then he’d shudder with a groan and pause, resting his sweaty forehead against her collarbone, and she’d fight waves of impatience and frustration and rage at how fucking unfair he was. But he’d kiss her and tell her how amazing she was and that he loved her, and no one had ever told her that. He made her feel like a sex goddess, and for a moment, that power would overshadow her dissatisfaction and she’d forget that he could sleep easy with the knowledge he’d never once made her come. She construed her sexual pleasure a low priority, prided herself on her prowess, and moved on.

Then came last night.

Good fucking
God
.

Kimber had emerged from Moquest’s bedroom after getting dressed, but there was no sign of her mystery lover. Not that she knew what he looked like or even his name, which made the whole thing even more deliciously wrong, but she was past the point of labeling the situation. She’d raced downstairs to find that the Spin the Bottle game had broken up and everyone was sloppy drunk, all remnants of the sexual atmosphere good and murdered. There was no indication that it ever even took place, and Kimber had wondered if anything that had happened since she’d arrived had been real.

She’d found Moquest simultaneously dumping various cheap liquors into his homemade jungle juice and still hitting on passing girls. Between that and Gina’s participation in Spin the Bottle, Kimber couldn’t figure out the happy couple. She had latched onto his shoulder, and he did a double take, as if he didn’t recognize her. “Hey, where’ve you been?”

“Upstairs, where you sent me.”

Moquest’s eyes had widened. “You’ve been up there this whole time? Doing what?”

Her face had flamed. “Reading to the blind, what else? Now just tell me who you sent up there after me.”

It was impossible for him to have looked more shell-shocked. “You don’t know?”

“Matthew!” She’d given his upper arm a punch to mask her humiliation. “Stop with the games and tell me.”

Moquest had stopped pouring both the gin and the juice into his potent concoction as his expression contorted into one of discomfort, like he had a question but didn’t know how to ask it. His brow furrowed as he’d clucked his tongue against his teeth. “I can’t tell you,” he’d said after a long pause. “I was sworn to secrecy.”

Before she could protest, he’d changed the subject and resumed his efforts in mixology. “Hey, have you seen Jay?”

She’d hadn’t, but she didn’t feel like admitting that, considering helpful was the last thing Moquest was being. “Maybe I have, maybe I haven’t.” She’d given him what she hoped was a mysterious look and walked away, putting a knowing twitch in her step.

Kimber had left the party then as if in a trance, her whole body still buzzing and feeling like it no longer belonged to her. She’d slid behind the wheel of her car and driven home, the experience having sobered her yet she felt higher than a skyscraper. She’d just let a complete stranger do things to her that she hadn’t let Dane do until three months into the relationship. What the hell had gotten into her? She’d behaved out of character, engaging in anonymous sex, yet it had felt so natural that maybe she’d just discovered who she really was.

She’d returned to her apartment, fed Pepperoni, slipped into her pajamas, brushed her teeth, and then burrowed in her bedcovers—her normal routine, but she felt anything but normal. Her mind had refused to deviate from her encounter; she could still feel his lips burning the inside of her thighs. Kimber had replayed every moment, every kiss, every touch, every thrust, until she couldn’t take it anymore. She’d stuffed her now much loved My First Vibe between her legs and less than two minutes later experienced an effortless, instantaneous orgasm, remembering to keep from crying out so Taryn and Brad, likely sleeping next door, didn’t hear her. This cycle had repeated itself until the weak morning sun’s blush slipped through the cracks in the blinds. Her pajama pants had been at a tangle around her ankles, her fingers had gone numb from clutching the dying vibrator for so long, and all she’d been able to think about was how to get whatever the hell happened to her at the party to happen again.