Secretly More (10 page)

It was still on her brain at work that night. She couldn’t keep the smile from her face as she hopped from one corner of the bar to the next, serving drinks with a wide, genuine smile she’d thought was impossible to muster while on the clock. She’d even hugged Alison in greeting when her coworker had arrived—twenty minutes late—for her shift.

“Someone must’ve gotten laid last night,” Alison had said, bewildered, having no idea how close to the truth she was with that expression.

But it had been more than getting laid. Despite her limited experience, Kimber knew that much.

She tried to guess what her lover looked like based solely on remembering the feel of him. Her overactive imagination led her to hope he resembled someone like Ryan Phillippe; her mystery man had had such sexy, tousled curls, and she’d never fooled around with a blond before. Not to mention, he seemed to have a mouth similar to the actor’s, if the way his lips had felt on hers was any indication.

The memory had her head in a lusty fog for the entirety of the day. It was a wonder that she managed to get anything done at all. She somehow managed to function using only half her brain; the other half was devoted to the memory of last night’s rendezvous. She couldn’t imagine what she could’ve gotten done if she weren’t constantly thinking of her mysterious stranger. The possibilities boggled the mind.

Jay slunk into the bar before his shift, interrupting Kimber privately reliving the evening for what had to be the thousandth time since it happened. He slid onto a stool and stretched his arms in front of him, staring at his hands like they were a Chinese math problem. “Hey,” he said after a few moments, his eyes flickering to her then away again. He looked like he’d suffered through a restless night.

Kimber chalked up his discomfort to how awkward things had been between them lately, but suddenly, their lack of seeing eye to eye seemed inconsequential. “Hello.” She captured his hands in hers, ignoring how he jolted at her touch, and sighed with happiness. “Have fun last night?”

“Um, yeah.” He stared at their hands. “It was okay.” Finally, his gaze lifted to hers. “Did you?”

“I did.” A smile twitched on her lips and she looked away, afraid she’d burst into peals of giddy, uncontrollable laughter. She cleared away a few empty glasses, humming to herself.

“Really?” Jay straightened in his seat. “What, uh… I mean, what happened?”

She dug her teeth into her lower lip. “You don’t want to know.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“You really don’t. You wouldn’t approve.”

He took a deep breath. “I promise I won’t be judgmental. Come on. You can tell me.”

It was then that Kimber realized how badly she needed to talk to someone about what had happened. Who better than her best friend in the world? She turned to face Alison, who was flirting for tips in her low-cut black top. “Al, I’m going to take my break early, okay?”

“Yep.” Alison waved her away, leaning over the counter toward the sixty-something-year-old man she was talking to and purring with interest to whatever he said.

Kimber clocked out and scurried around the bar to meet Jay, linking her arm around his and tugging him through the rows of slot machines until they were outside on the patio that faced the horse track. After glancing around to ensure they were alone, she turned to him with a grin. “Jay, last night was the most amazing night of my life.”

His mouth dropped open. “What happened?”

“I can’t tell you the details.” She looked away, dying to tell him in order to relive the moment via conversation. “It’d be rude.”

“It wouldn’t.” Jay grabbed her upper arm, forcing her to make eye contact. “Really. I want to know.”

“Well…” She swallowed hard, buying herself some time to put her chaotic, passionate thoughts in order. “Moquest sent me upstairs and blindfolded me, remember? So I was in his room, honestly not expecting much—just a little making out and stuff. But…”

“But?”

“But I don’t know.” Kimber sighed and slapped her palm to her forehead, unable to prevent a smile. “Let’s just say I just got carried away. And you know what’s weird? Even though I was acting totally unlike myself, I never felt more true to who I am.”

“What do you mean?” Jay stared at her, like she was a mystery that desperately needed solving.

“I can’t explain it. It just felt right. I won’t go into details, but it really was amazing.” Her face grew warm. “You want to know something that’s sort of sad?”

“What?” His voice sounded rusty.

“I felt more cherished and desired—understood, even—in that one moment that I had during my entire relationship with Dane.” She laughed, although nothing was funny. “Isn’t that crazy?”

* * *

Jay called upon every fiber of his being not to reach out and kiss her in a way that would make her feel incredible and valued again. “That’s not so crazy. That’s pretty cool. You’re lucky.”

A series of complex, undefined emotions played over her features, and Jay couldn’t believe that this girl—the girl he’d loved for years—was the one he’d been inside last night, the one he’d felt come around his cock after so long dreaming of just that. He looked away, afraid he’d crack and confess.

It was confusing, to say the least, to learn that he’d made her so happy. As per her claims, he’d given her the best night of her life. That was one night out of almost ten thousand that usurped all the rest. That was so fucking unbelievable he had to take a seat on one of the nearby metal filigree chairs, afraid his knees would give or he’d start bawling, moved beyond his comprehension.

She’d made it clear she didn’t want him. But now, how was he supposed to give her up?

Moquest made his appearance then, all dark sunglasses and slightly wrinkled suit, his
Manager
nametag hanging from his lapel at an angle. “Guys,” he said in a voice that clearly suggested he was beyond hung over—and all too well aware of their situation. “What’s the haps?”

“Not much.” Kimber shrugged, and again Jay was reminded, by that casual, careless motion, that he’d gotten to make love to the one girl he’d always wanted. It was unreal.

“Uh huh.” Moquest sounded anything but convinced. “So everyone had a good time last night?”

Jay darted his friend a warning look, one both Moquest and Kimber seemed to miss.

“I really did.” Kimber nodded with vigor. “When’s the next party?”

“I’m glad you asked. I’ve got something in the works for next week.” Moquest arched a brow. “Plan on coming back, Kim?”

She smiled, a pretty blush dancing on her cheeks. “It’s a distinct possibility.”

“Glad to hear it.” Moquest looked to Jay and shook his head like the world had gone mad and he had no time to figure it out, but he wanted the minutiae on Jay’s break. “I’ll see you crazy kids later.”

Moquest shuffled inside the casino, leaving them alone again, and Jay realized he had no idea how to act around Kimber anymore, unbeknownst to her. Everything had changed, and she had no idea.

“So tell me something, Jay.” She placed her palms on the table in front of him with a smile. “Why are you suddenly so supportive of my behavior? Last night you acted like I was the whore of the world.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” He hated that she assumed he thought the worst of her, even though he knew he’d led her to believe exactly that. “I just had a change of heart, I guess.” He sought her eyes again, momentarily struck by their golden cedar-and-tobacco color, their intensity. “We’re friends, Kim, and we always will be. Despite recent events, I don’t want that to change.”

“You don’t know how happy that makes me.” She closed the distance between them and bent down, wrapping her arms around his neck. As her blonde hair drifted over his shoulder and her breasts pressed against him, he couldn’t help but be reminded of their union—as if he could think of anything else. He wriggled from her embrace after giving her a brief, friendly pat on the arm and stood, afraid the memory of what happened between them would manifest in a physical sense.

“I gotta clock in.” He stretched and yawned, feigning being unaffected. “I’ll catch you later.”

“Of course.” She gave him a wink and tapped his nose like it was sweet little button before wandering back inside.

Alone again, Jay sank into his chair with a sigh, wondering just how life was going to unfold from this point on. After all, there was no going back now. Today was a brand new world.

He was just about to go inside when Moquest reappeared, this time carrying an extra large coffee that was already half empty. “Oh, good, you’re alone,” he said. “Let’s go have a chat.”

Jay followed Moquest with reluctance to a spot on the empty bleachers facing the horse track. “My shift starts soon. Is this going to take long?”

“It depends,” Moquest said as they both sat. “How long is it going to take you to tell me you fucked Kimber on my bed?”

Jay stared at the empty track like it tried to hypnotize him. “It’s a complicated situation.”

“Way to put it mildly.” Moquest took a noisy slurp from his Styrofoam cup and stroked his chin, regarding Jay with suspicion. “Feel free to correct me on this, but she has no idea it was you, does she?”

Jay gulped. “I told you. It’s complicated.”

Moquest shook his head. “The fuck happened up there, Navarrete?”

“What do you think happened? You orchestrated this fucking mess.”

“Despite popular belief, my awesome powers of manipulation only extend so far. Did I arrange for you two to wind up in an intimate situation? Hells yes. But did I take hold of your dick and—”

“Okay, okay.” Jay held up his hand with a defeated groan.

“You escalated the situation, man, not me. You didn’t have to do what you did.”

Jay didn’t speak, didn’t know how to tell his friend how much he
had
had to do what he’d done. At the time, there’d been no other choice.

“So let’s think of a plan.” Moquest paused for another slurp of coffee that smelled so strong Jay could vicariously feel the effects of the caffeine. “Like I said earlier, I’m throwing another party in a few days. Kimber’s already planning on showing up, expecting a similar sort of arrangement with the faceless sex god I set her up with last week, right?”

“Looks that way.” The truth both depressed Jay and excited him in ways too complex to define.

“Fucking crazy. Who knew she had it in her? For that matter, who knew you had it in you? Why didn’t I know you had all these secret moves that turn chicks batshit?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” Jay gave his friend a withering look. “I guess because the Masons said if I told anyone, they’d cut my balls off. Can we now focus on what the Christ I’m gonna do?”

“Tell Kim the truth. It’s really your only option.”

Jay found it to be the most unattractive of options, too. He could only imagine Kimber’s reaction, which was anything but pleasant. “How do I do that?”

Moquest shrugged. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

“Are you kidding me? That’s all you got for a great plan? I thought it was totally obvious that when it comes to Kimber, I can’t figure anything out.”

“That’s true. She does turn you into a dumbass.” Moquest drummed his fingers on the sides of his cup. “All right, this is what we’ll do. On the night of the party, you wait in my room, and I’ll send Kimber in wearing the blindfold. Get her all hot and bothered, then drop the bomb in the middle of talking dirty or whatever. At that point, she’ll be so fired up, she won’t care if you’re the goddamn Crypt Keeper, so long as you get her off.”

Jay sighed and buried his face in his hands. “Clearly I’m on my own here.”

“What do you want me to say? It’s a huge fucking problem. What makes you think there’s an easy solution?” Moquest glanced at his bare wrist where a watch should’ve been. “Gotta get to the salt mines for real this time.” He slugged the rest of his coffee and gave Jay’s arm a nudge with his elbow. “Good luck.” He clamored down the bleachers, leaving his empty cup where he once sat.

Jay stared at the track, both already dreading and anticipating Moquest’s next party. There was no way to predict how that night would turn out, but he had a sick feeling he would do something incredibly, unthinkably stupid—again.

* * *

The following Saturday, Kimber arrived at Moquest’s at eleven, when she knew the party would be good and underway. She parked her car behind a Honda Civic and checked her reflection in the rearview, wishing she hadn’t had to drive. The ride over had been horrifically eventful; she was so nervous and distracted that she’d nearly run over a squirrel, zipped through a red light, and almost slammed right into the back of a truck. She’d intended on asking Jay for a ride, but he’d been mysteriously absent and not answering his phone. He probably had his nose in a book again. Poor guy. He deserved to have a bit more fun.