Secret Shopper (23 page)

Pharaoh had never said he loved me, although he showed it often. But that day, he told me twice. And so did my mom and dad. I just about lost it, since we met our quota of
lovey dovey-ness
for the next year. We weren’t a family of
I love yous
, and I was happy that that was changing now.

Thomas canceled his drive up north with his sister. He reassured Tamara that I was fine and would recover. She had meetings she couldn’t
miss. She visited me once with a bouquet of white carnations. Our first official meeting in a hospital was not how envisioned it.

After another assessment, the docs were satisfied that I didn’t s
uffer a brain injury. Thank goodness. I would hate to ruin any memories I had, especially of Thomas. Bradley was another story.

Thomas had gone to my condo and brought back clothes and toiletries. It didn’t bother me that he would be in my home without me there, it bothered me that it had to happen under these circumstances. I read over the wound care documentation. I felt fine except for when I moved suddenly. There was so much to think about with this story going national and the prosecution side of things. It wasn’t the way I wanted to start December.

I begged Thomas to get back to work, or do whatever he normally did on a Monday. I felt bad that he lost his weekend to yet another drama with me. He smiled my smile and said warmly, “Phoenix,
you
are my business.”

             Thomas was set to drive me home. It was a good thing his Prius was low to the ground, so I could just use gravity to get in. After signing a few more documents at the nurse’s station, Thomas grabbed hold of my wheelchair. It was a distance to the lobby and he still had to get his car from the parking garage practically three cities away. He rolled me quietly to the elevators, sometimes playing with my hair, or keeping his hand on my shoulder. Thomas bent over to whisper something to me, when the silver elevator doors squeaked open. Bradley stood in the metal box, hat in his hands, the Farmer stitched nametag as plain as day on his uniform. He looked thinner and older and his vacant stare flickered from anger to confusion to shock as he took in the sight of me in the chair and Thomas intimately at my face. Thomas stood and became still. Bradley held the elevator doors open as they creaked to close.

“Going down?” Bradley asked with a scowl.

Thomas pushed me into the elevator, cutting through the tension our triad created. Bradley remained in his corner. I hadn’t expected him back until the following week. A surge of fear coursed through me when I realized how destructive it could have been if Bradley went to the condo to find Thomas there.

Bradley cleared his throat and spoke in a weathered voice, sounding tired and stressed. “How are you, Nix? I mean, it’s all over the news and stuff.”

“I’m fine. Just a small gash, no brain injury, so all is good.” I reassured him, glad to break the awkward quiet.

Thomas
was quiet and did not make physical contact with me.

Genuine concern danced across Bradley’s face. “Where were you cut?” I touched my hip gently. “Have you been discharged?” I’m pretty sure I knew what he really wanted to know. Was I leaving with Thomas to his place?

“Yes, I’m going back to Uncle Tony’s. I just want to get rest and heal.”

“Is
he
taking you home?” Progress, I thought. He acknowledged Thomas’s presence.

“Yes.” I looked up at Bradley, irritated.

“Well, Sergeant Reynolds is downstairs and can give us a ride. He drove me straight here from the airport.” The recruiter must have told Bradley about the emergency.

“Did he arrange for you to get home?”

“Well,” Bradley hesitated. The elevator doors opened. Thomas pushed me into the fresh air. “Actually, Jem told him.”

“Oh.” I didn’t know if this was good or bad. But I left it alone.

“Yeah, so. We can take you to your uncle’s.”

“Doesn’t Sergeant Reynolds have a Hummer?” I stated with exasperation.

“Yeah, so?” Bradley was really dense. I had to explain that I wasn’t about to climb into a tank, and risk having my wound open up. I had a deep enough cut that I got dissolving stitches internally then dermabond, basically crazy glue to seal the cut shut.

Bradley finally realized my dilemma.

Bradley waited with me while Thomas ran to get his car. I knew it would be about ten minutes of hell, even though the wintry winds were chill. Thomas reminded me that he parked at the furthest structure, this hospital was extremely busy. By the speed of his run, I almost thought he
was
a superhuman vampire.   

Bradley had texted me several times during this last training cycle. I had only responded to the ones about the house or bills. I decided now was a good time as any to ask for the divorce again.

“Bradley, how long are you in town for?”

“Why?” He tried to sound ignorant. Maybe he was.

“You know why.” I countered quickly. “I’ve got the divorce papers drawn up. You just have to agree and sign. Irreconcilable differences. It sure beats adultery, right?” 

“Are you doing this because you’re with Thomas?” He asked sadness dripping from his voice.

“No. I’m doing this because we were never a perfect fit. You cheating,” I brought my voice down, “and this Army reserves thing, that’s irrelevant, really. I’m a different person. You were the catalyst for that and I should actually thank you.”

Bradley crunched his eyebrows together, confused, I was sure. I wanted him to see the positive of letting me go.

“Did you tell the news that your name was Phoenix Lizama and not Farmer?” I wasn’t getting through to him. I actually felt sorry for him. He had his pride and that was preventing him from seeing the bigger picture.

“That wasn’t me. This whole attack has been blown way out of proportion. Slow news day in
San Diego, that’s it.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re safe. I’ll be here until after the New Year. Sarge pulled some strings for this emergency and I was able to leave training and complete it the next cycle.”

“Will you be deployed anytime soon?” I was genuinely concerned. It was a relief to be able to speak with him like an adult. He said that because he needed more training, he wouldn’t be deployable until maybe the end of spring. Bradley actually looked forward to heading to war. I was surprised when he shared that he was thinking of joining the army active duty. I thought,
whatever makes you happy, as long as we get the divorce finalized.

“Maybe we shouldn’t divorce yet since if I die in
Iraq or wherever I’m sent, you—still being my wife would get a ton of money.” I couldn’t believe he was joking like that!

“Bradley, that’s not funny.” Thomas finally drove up and exited his car. I saw Bradley smirk. He thought hybrids were for pussies,
his words
, not mine. Bradley asked me if it was okay to speak with Thomas. He said this loud enough for Thomas to get wind.

Thomas looked from me to Bradley and nodded. I guess they had some man things to discuss. Their conversation was briefer than I thought between the man from my past and my friend from the here and now. It ended with Bradley offering his hand to Thomas. They shook firmly, but didn’t smile. The mild standoff was over. The tension in the air dissipated.

Bradley approached me and Thomas waited by the open passenger door keeping his lovely platinum eyes on me. His face was relaxed, a small smile danced on his mouth. Bradley knelt in front of me and looked me square in the eyes. He had tears in his own eyes and I stopped the compulsion to want to comfort him. That wasn’t my job anymore. To passerbys, it might have looked like Bradley was proposing to me. I finally got him to kneel, but the circumstances were so ass backwards. When I was proposed to, his mother did it. She slid a ring to me, her mother’s ring. It was a simple barbecue dinner. She said, “Here, use this. It’s special and then you don’t have to spend money.” Bradley smiled, mouth full of food, “So, will you?” And that was how we started our journey to be husband and wife. Now, I was about to be released like a wild animal and I couldn’t wait to run.

“Thomas seems like a good kid. I’m sorry for how things,” a rush of quiet tears streamed down his face. He sucked it up when Sergeant Reynolds’s Hummer rounded the corner, making his presence known with the obscene rumbling. Thomas’s Prius looked like a toy car next to the monstrosity. “I’m sorry for everything I did and whatever I didn’t do. I’m happy for you, really. Shit. I always knew you were hot stuff. At least I can say you were my first wife, right?” I was going to get my wish. He finally agreed to divorce me and I was at a place in my life where I accepted that with both arms, wide open. Thomas turned his head away when he saw me lean over and give my soon-to-be ex-husband his last kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you, Bradley.” I whispered.

Bradley rose, “We’ll always have
Guam, right?” And then, his face returned to a stone cold soldier.

He was right. Bradley wheeled me slowly to Thomas. They shook hands again looking almost like friends. Thomas took my hand as I negotiated getting into his car. He closed my door gently, smiling the whole time. We both were. We drove off, leaving Bradley on th
e curb with my empty wheelchair.

Chapter 13

Our Two Dads

              It took a week to feel normal physically, and two weeks more for the divorce papers to be filed and official, helping with my emotional healing as well. In that time, Thomas and I met up without hiding, the friendship clause still intact. As much as I wanted to strip him down in all senses of the phrase, I was too busy doing work from home and healing. I also had to deal with being recognized as the girl from Guam who kicked her assailant’s ass. It was nice, but I never wanted that kind of attention. Mr. Kang even named a special on his menu for me,
Phoenix Fried Rice
—a
kimchee
fried rice dish. My mom would have loved that, and Rachel too.

             
The last straw in this whirlwind of attention was when I stopped by Bag It and a group of uniformed men recognized me. They bombarded me with questions. I answered each inquiry curtly, but then someone made a vulgar comment about my skills in bed and I froze. A strong fight or flight debate raged in my brain and I suddenly found myself in my car. Enveloped in its safety, I focused on my breathing and closed my eyes.

Thomas knocked on my window gently, but I hopped in my seat. I guess my nerves were still rattled from the attack, in fact, I knew it. Hands in the air after reading my reaction, he apologized and asked to sit in the car with me.

              “Are you okay?” He rubbed my shoulder. He hadn’t heard the disgusting comment and when I told him he grabbed the door handle, ready to confront. It took some convincing, but he stayed by my side. I twisted my rearview mirror to check my eyes when I noticed my hair. The caramel blond color of my hair had grown out and my roots revealed its truth.

             
“I really need to get my hair back to brown. Brunettes don’t get attacked as often as blondes, right?” I said this more for me than for Thomas—but I felt I was withdrawing into a shell and I didn’t want to.

Thomas had been patient and even though my divorce was
nearly official, he didn’t ask about it. I really wanted to jump his bones, taste his lips for the first time, but
Kaduku
broke my spirit. I recoiled on life, but I didn’t want to lose sight of Thomas as this happened. He anchored me to reality somehow.

              The evening I sang for Thomas, the second time I attempted to let him into my life turned out tragic. Were the heavens trying to dissuade me from being happy? Like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, I felt like my house was about to land after a twister and hit me squarely on my thighs, which no longer rubbed, mind you—but, was I the witch in my own story?

It didn’t help that in another week I would have to find a new place to live. Thomas invited me in a round about way to stay with him and Tano, but I knew that was a bad idea. As much as the feelings I was having for Thomas were becoming I dare say, love, I didn’t want to jump into a situation again where I was so attached to a man
—even a man as glorious and intelligent and kind as Thomas.

              Thomas pulled out his phone. I must have been so lost in my funky thoughts, sitting in silence, that he let me be.

“Hey, sis, it’s me.” He smiled at me and I felt a wave of comfort lift my spirits. “Tom-Tom of course. Yeah, I’m in the parking lot.” I looked at his gorgeous profile, studying the details as he ran his long fingers through his honey hair. I marveled at how his smile could ignite the beauty of his face. I stared at his lips as he spoke and for me time stood still.

“All clear. Let’s go.”

“Huh?” I got lost in my reverie that I didn’t catch what just happened.

“Where? What?”

“All clear from Tam. I’ve got the afternoon off.” Just then the men walked out of the shop. Thomas’s face turned dark, his eyes menacing. I saw them in my peripheral vision and instinctively buried my face in his chest. I breathed in slowly the luscious scent that was Thomas. He stroked my h
air so softly that I thought I dreamt it. The boisterous chatting of the men faded away and I felt his tension dissipate. His breathing slowed and his heartbeat followed. I wanted to fall asleep in his arms. I felt the lightest kiss on my head and looked up at him. His face transformed, his eyes large and serious. A slow smile danced on his lips and I responded in the like. Thomas stroked my face gently, his hands warm. “Let me drive.”