SEAL Under Covers (SEAL Brotherhood Series Book 3) (15 page)

So he gave the girls a subtle, practiced wink and they tittered their way out the doorway into the sunlight. Young. Innocent. Oblivious to all the dark forces out there. All the hell on earth others had seen.
So what the hell am I doing here?
For an instant he forgot where he was. Then he remembered.
Waiting for Gina.

He’d even showed up a full ten minutes early. Now Kyle and Fredo would have some definite opinions about that.

Sunday morning was usually a busy time at the Scupper. Of course the tourist crowd was totally different from their evening group. Parents of Navy recruits haunted its walls, remarking on the memorabilia, the pictures of the fallen heroes over the bar, the polaroid of Saddam Hussein in handcuffs, looking small and helpless after his capture.

Armando couldn’t fault people for wanting to pay homage to his brothers in arms. But a part of him thought it got in the way. Too much hero worship could lead to blind spots. He knew all too well that there were living disasters in his community, walking time bombs. Their job was to do the things they were trained to do and then come home and have a normal life.

What the hell is normal?

He’d heard the stories about how some of his brothers couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t let a woman touch them. Couldn’t hold their kids. They’d seen things they shouldn’t have in their short twenty-something years on this earth. And just like the motto they lived by, “The Only Easy Day Was Yesterday,” it wouldn’t ever get better. Maybe some of the pain would fade in time. But one never forgets fallen comrades or the faces of the innocents caught in the crossfire.

It was hard to admit he’d made some decisions he wrestled with late at night. He saw the face of one young wife of a terrorist who had attempted to protect her husband from Armando’s kill shot. He’d gotten them both with the same round, but hers was the face he remembered. Even though he’d seen more faces of pure evil, it was the women and children he couldn’t get out of his thoughts. They were the people he was supposed to protect, or at least try to spare if he could. Even when they chose the wrong side. They were supporting and defending their men in battle. And the children had no chance at all.

His first tour had gone on like a party. He was a newbie SEAL, a fledgling. They wouldn’t trust him with the important stuff. His job was to get out of the way and let the varsity guys do what they knew how to do. His job was to observe, to learn, and try not to do something stupid to get them all killed.

Somewhere along the line he became the guy who was giving instructions. There was no official rank change in his file. No difference in pay. No difference in the way he felt. But there was a subtle change, a new mantle he wore. It was now his responsibility to watch over others like he’d been watched over.

He gazed at the young portrait of Lance Grissom, the kid from Indiana who wanted to be a doctor. When the young medic took the IED intended for him, Armando knew there would come a day when he could no longer do this job. But it wasn’t that day, and it wouldn’t be tomorrow. However, there was one thing that happened to every SEAL who ever served in this elite force: that day always came. He just hoped it came without too much blood and gore or collateral damage. That he could walk away with all his body parts in working order, and that he could leave knowing he’d done all he could to protect and defend his country. Maybe then it would be okay to just walk away.

One of the older Team guys told him that as soon as a man started thinking that way, he was on his way out. Armando wasn’t sure about that. Just like he hadn’t been sure he would make it through Hell Week in BUD/S, as he watched others drop out and he was still there. He found, after a time, he had no opinion about it. He was just there. He’d just continue being there until he wasn’t. That was all there was to it.

Mia had worn a huge hole in his heart. She was as attracted to the dangerous life as he was, but the difference was she was attracted to the wrong kind of danger. Armando had taken the path of his father, that one good cop, surrounded by too few other good cops in Puerto Rico. And like his father, Armando knew if he was just vigilant, he could outlast all the evil in the world while it was his job to do so.

But as hard as he tried to help, Mia would not walk the straight and narrow. Perhaps she, too, had some internal flaw, some place she went where she didn’t think she was good enough to live a life of goodness and light for her son. If he had a son, he’d do everything in his power to keep every shadow of evil away from the boy. Mia seemed to want to take the boy down with her. Armando couldn’t let that happen. What would it take? He wondered.

Then he began to think about Gina. He expected her to come through the doorway any second now. There was something about her that was different. He couldn’t quite figure it out. Part of him worried she was a bad influence on his sister. But part of him thought perhaps it was the other way around.

Or, was he looking for that pony in there somewhere? Was he looking for what he
wanted
to see, or was he being objective? He didn’t know anymore. He just knew that the touch of her skin was something he did dream about at night. It helped him sleep, knowing that there still was a soft part of him that could feel those things. Something that wasn’t dead.

So, is that what it was? Love?

Probably not. Probably all he wanted was to just relax with someone. Maybe in time it would happen for him like what happened to Kyle and Cooper. Maybe his day would come, if he was vigilant. If he continued to just show up. Because he still believed in a better world, even with all the evil he’d seen. That there were more good people than bad people. And that every new child he saw born healthy and brought up in a good, stable home had a chance to help save the world. And he’d be there to protect them until they could wear the mantle. And so it would go throughout history. The fighting man’s legacy.

And that’s what he was. He would always be a warrior. It was what he was made for, and, God willing, it would be something he wouldn’t have to die for. But he could do it. He signed up for this.

So it should be easy to talk to Gina today. Tapped the table with his fingers, aware that the anticipation was feeding an erection at a damned inconvenient time.

You dog.

Forcing himself to change his thoughts, he looked at the mothers and fathers with their sons and daughters in their fresh uniforms. He gave thanks there were still people willing to do their part. Families who knew to support a son or daughter who wanted to serve. Because the whole family made the sacrifice. It wasn’t something that could be explained. It was something that had to be lived.

Maybe Gina could help him with Mia. If he could just think straight around her. She might be the key. God knew, he was completely out of options.

And, speak of the devil, there she was, a fresh vision of heaven right in front of him. She breezed through the doorway without knowing how Armando’s heart raced. He took a deep breath and stood for her. He could do this, if he could just keep his dick in line.

Her flowery scent fell over him, and it was everything he could do not to take her in his arms and ask for a do-over. Could they just hit the reset button and start all over again without all the mistakes? The lies?

He pushed away his concerns and focused on just listening to her. She had something she wanted to say to him. And he knew it could be something like, “I’m done. Moving away. I never want to see you again.” It would be like her to finish it off clean, bold. She had it in her. He knew she did. And even if he didn’t like it, he would have to accept it.

“Thanks for coming.” Her little smile showed her shy side. That was almost as attractive as her wild side. “How’s your head this morning?” she asked.

“Nothing a good strong cup of coffee can’t cure. You got a car?”

“Yes, thank God for good insurance. Just came from the rental agency.”

He could tell she was nervous because she kept rubbing the back of her neck and looking around.

“Expecting someone?” he asked. He tried to make it sound cool, but the asshole Sam was stomping his feet and yelling at him from inside his head.

“No,” she said. “I came to see you.”

He liked her steady stare back at him. Unafraid. Something had shifted. She’d faced a demon and she’d won. Good for her.

“I’m all yours.” It was true in more ways than one, but that was all he was going to say or do right now.

She ordered the seafood scramble, so he ordered the same. The waitress refilled his cup and gave one to Gina. Over the top of the steaming mug she closed her eyes and blew the aroma right to him. She wasn’t totally relaxed, but she wasn’t angry.

Thank God.

He could tell she was trying really hard to adjust for him. Perhaps playing another role? What role? And why?

He could have made some snarky remark but he just watched her.

Vigilant. Be vigilant.

Her eyes opened and he saw her need there. Was this a trap? Did it matter?

Fuck it. Here I go.

“I feel like I need to be completely honest with you, Armando.”

Oh, no. Am I going to like this?

“Okay.”

“I have a lot of respect for what you do. I always have.”

“Okay. Why do I get the impression there’s a ‘but’ in there somewhere, Gina?”

She smiled and toyed with her coffee mug rim with her forefinger. “I think you have me wrong.”

“How?”

“I have a job. I think it’s an important job.” She glanced up at him and he caught her checking out his mouth. “I’m a very responsible person. I manage a lot of paperwork for some important people.”

“Mia says you work for an insurance company.”

“Yes, I do.” She wasn’t looking him in the eye. “Sometimes we can’t tell our clients everything about the process we go through. And that’s not comfortable for me, but I do it because it’s for the good of the people I work for.”

“So far, so good. Did you not think I could understand this?”

“I thought maybe you would. I think you do the same in your job. You do things you can’t talk about. You are specially trained to conduct yourself on a higher level than most, and that’s what I respect so much about what you do.”

This wasn’t going where he thought it would.

“I’m going to tell you something, and I think it will explain some things to you. I don’t want you to be angry with me.”

“You were a guy.”

She laughed. It felt good to see her throw her head back and laugh. The smooth flesh under her chin was especially delicate and called to him.

“No. I’m not a guy. I’m a woman.”

“Whew. Because that would have made me angry, even though I would have tried not to be.”

Her dimples framed her plump lips. “Good. I’m glad we got that out of the way. No, you don’t have to wonder about that with me.”

“So, why am I here, Gina?” Inside he winced. Was this too direct?

“I want to explain my relationship with Sam.”

“Am I going to like this?” he asked.

“I don’t know. But I think I need to tell you anyway. Seems like the right thing to do.” Her eyelashes fluttered down as she examined her forefinger doing the racetrack of the coffee mug again. “It’s about the gun, or rather, the reasons for having one.”

“Okay.” He sipped his coffee and watched her struggle for the words.

“Sam…did things to me.” Her eyes checked out his reaction. “He was into some bondage stuff. At first it was just a little, and I was okay with that. I actually enjoyed some of it.”

Armando let his eyebrows rise. “You said at first.”

“Well, he escalated into other things. He wanted to bring in other men, other women.” She leveled a gaze at him that went straight to his heart. “I just couldn’t do that. That isn’t me. Not that I’m knocking it. Just not for me.”

How could Sam have wanted to share her? He’d have killed anyone who tried to lay a hand on her. If she were his.

“He scares me, Armando. I’m just trying to ease him down. He keeps turning up and following me.”

You have no business hanging around him, Gina.
Was there something about the dangerousness of this guy that she liked?

“I’m afraid if I just end it, he’ll come after me and hurt me,” she added after another silence.

But Gina, why don’t you stay away? Why don’t you get protection?

“You have a gun. Have you been to the police?” Armando couldn’t understand why she was willingly playing with fire.

“I don’t like cops,” she said, looking away. Armando heard a waver to her voice. “I want to handle this on my own.” Suddenly he saw a scared little girl in Gina’s place.

“Not smart, Gina. Guys like that get off on hurting women. And they get away with it because no one turns them in.” He made eye contact and she quickly looked away. What was she hiding? “You should go to the police. Make a complaint. You can’t protect yourself against guys like him. I’ve seen bullies like that before. They never give up. They have to be stopped.”

The pain in Gina’s face scared Armando. He leaned forward, placing his hand over hers.

“Did he hurt you?”

“No. Well, not physically.”

“You don’t have to live this way, Gina.” He wanted to say more, but his feet were sliding into quicksand. Her smooth skin and the scent of her warm, sensual, places flooded his head with fantasies. She leaned back to take inventory of his face while their fingers entwined. He found her pink lips ripe and waiting for him. He’d been dreaming about those lips for the past twenty-four hours. In a careful move, he kissed her palm. She leaned forward and kissed him.

She. Kissed. Him.

He slid his tongue along the crease and was rewarded with her opening to him. The whimper she exhaled as their tongues mingled nearly set him on fire. The woman was dangerous, but he wouldn’t be able to stop.

The delicious slide into the fires of arousal slammed shut all the what-ifs bouncing around his head. He turned his back on his own advice; the words he heard whispered in some distant corner of him, telling him to be careful. To go slow. And far from taking things slow, he found himself urgent to be inside her.