Sanctum: A Motorcycle Club Romance Novel (17 page)

Tears ran down Maggie
’
s
face before she could stop them. She sniffed and looked away, trying to wipe
them from her face.

“
I
don’t
hate you, Maggie. For a while there after you left, sure. Maybe I did. The pain
was so bad. But I don’t
hate you. I can’t hate you.”

“
You should hate me for
what I did to you,
”
said
Maggie. Her voice was a soppy, shaking mess.
“
I
left you here. I loved you and I abandoned you. And now I’ve wrecked your whole
new peaceful existence. You should hate me for the rest of your life.
”

“
Maggie, no
…”
said Jase. He put a hand to his stomach, like the
thought made him sick.

“
That’s why I left last
night, Jase. I can’t let you do this to yourself again,
”
she said.
“
I
ruin everything I touch. This is the second time I’ve fucked up your life and I’ve
only been here a few days. When we ended up on that pool table
…”

“
You didn’t want that?
”
said Jase.
“
You
didn’t want to be with me?
”

“
I never said that.
”
Maggie stepped off the table to stand in front of him.
“
But
it
’
s not about what I
want
,
Jase. It never has been. I wanted to stay here before, with you, and with
Henry, and just keep living like we had been before we got together, but that
was never going to happen. It didn’t matter how much I wanted it. Henry would
have driven you out of the club or driven you away from me.
”

“You don’t
know that Maggie,
”
said Jase.
“Henry
’
s
not a monster, he would have come around. You didn’t have to go. You left
because you were afraid, not because you had to.
”
The
look on his face suggested Jase had been waiting a long time to say that to
her.
“
You
didn’t have to go.
”

His words hurt deeply. But she couldn’t
say that he wasn’t right, not anymore.

Maggie said,
“
I
was afraid, just like I
’
m
afraid now.
”

“
Afraid of
what
,
Maggie?
”
Jase stepped forward and took her by the shoulders.
His touch was not angry, but insistent, in pain.
“
Afraid
of me?
”
He watched her struggle to find the words, searching
her eyes with his own gaze.
“
Just
answer me straight: do you feel something for me, or not?
”

“Yes,”
she said in a teary
exhale. She felt lighter as she watched Jase
’
s
face react, flushing with blood, his worried edges smoothing out.

“
You still think about me?
”

“Yes.”

“
I still think about you.
Seeing you in the den that first night made me realize I still think about you
every fucking day.
”
The
end of Jase
’
s sentence came
out a whisper.

Maggie was caught in the pull of his gaze.
She had never felt anything as intimate as what she was feeling now, staring
into Jase
’
s darkened eyes as
he opened himself up to her. The vulnerability that normally terrified her
instead spread deep warmth throughout her body. 

“I
’
m
afraid to ask you for what I want,
”
said
Maggie. She reached her hands up and grasped either side of his cut.

“Don’t be,”
said Jase.
“
Tell
me what you want.
”

“
I want to be with you,
”
she said as she looked up at him.
“
I
want to ask you to forgive me. I don’t deserve any of it but I want it. I miss
you like hell.
”
She couldn’t continue.
Maggie buried her teary face in his chest.

She felt Jase
’
s
hands slip around her back and pull her close into him. He leaned his head down
to rest on hers.
“
I miss you too. I’ve
missed you so much.
”

“
I love you,
”
she said.
“
I
love you more than anything, Jase.
”

Jase
’
s
embrace tightened around her. His voice came as a whisper near her ear.
“
I
love you too. I never stopped, Maggie. I never stopped. It was always you.
”

Jase held her there, crying, for a few
minutes before he tilted her head up to look at him. With gentle fingertips he
wiped tears from her skin and held her gaze in the dim light. Then he lowered
his lips down slowly and kissed her. It wasn’t like the kisses from the night
before, all heat and hunger and desperate impatience. Jase
’
s
lips kept a tender pace, relishing the moment. As his kisses became deeper, he
moved a hand up to cup her head.

All of Maggie
’
s
doubt and fear washed away in that moment.  She lost herself in the warmth of
Jase
’
s arms and the ache of
his kiss. Suddenly she felt like every dark night and pain-filled day she had
suffered in the past few years made sense. She belonged here, right here,
wrapped up in Jase. Nothing hurt here. Everything was shining light.

The embrace overwhelmed them both, until
the sound of the clubhouse door shattered the moment. They both pulled away
from the kiss, but Jase didn’t loosen his arms around her. Her eyes still wet
with tears, Maggie couldn’t make out who it was.
“Henry
’
s
gonna kill us.”

Jase looked at her.
“
I
don’t care what Henry thinks about this anymore.
”

Her first impulse was to make a joke,
tease him, but the look on his face stopped her.
“You
’
re
serious?
”

“
If he had just stayed out
of it in the first place, you never would have left for Eagleton and none of
this would be happening,
”
said
Jase.
“I
’
m
not losing you again
—
not to your
dead-man-walking ex, and not to your overprotective father.
”

“
Well, the first one kind
of validates the second,
”
said
Maggie with a half-smile. It grew to a full one when Jase laughed down at her.

“
I missed that sarcastic
tongue of yours,
”
he
said.
“Will’s
the only one smart enough to keep up, and he cares the least about talking to
anybody.
”

Maggie gave his chest a playful pinch.
“
I
hope that’s the only job related to tongues that Will has replaced.
”

The low, growling laugh that came from
Jase
’
s throat made Maggie
shiver in anticipation.
“
Oh, no one has
replaced
those
positions, babe. No one could replace you.
”

Maggie pulled him down for a kiss, and
started to laugh when Jase moved to bite softly at her neck. From the porch
came the sound of someone clearing their throat in a very loud and obvious
manner, but she couldn’t see who it was. Maggie yanked at Jase
’
s
shirt until he stopped and stood up.

Jase eyed the man smoking under the porch
light, and then he turned back to her.
“
You
wanna get out of here?
”

Maggie smiled at him.
“
Hell
yeah. But, the guys
—“

“
The meeting ended a while
ago, now it
’
s just a party. We
’
re
gonna walk right through it and out the front door to my bike.
”

“
And when Henry draws on
you, are you going to go for the Mexican stand-off, or postpone it for a duel
at sunrise?
”

Jase rolled his eyes and gave her a
playful bite on the neck, making her yelp.
“
I
was officially put back on your guard detail as soon as I arrived, so I
’
m
just doing my job. And he
’
s
gotta figure you
’
re a bit
stir-crazy after being cooped up here all day. As long as you
’
re
with me, why would he stop us?
”

Maggie felt excitement charging through
her veins. Jase
’
s heat and his
kisses had brought back the fire she felt last night when she was spread out
for him on the pool table. She pushed one of her thighs between his legs and
heard his low growl as it rubbed his growing erection.

“
We should definitely get
out of here,
”
she whispered against his
lips. Jase smiled and kissed her, then led her by the hand across the darkened
yard. The man on the porch smoking turned out to be Beck, and he watched them
walk by with an amused and silent grin. Maggie didn’t even have time to stutter
an excuse or apology before Jase pulled her inside.

The den buzzed with life. The men were all
letting off steam from the horror of the week
’
s
events and the stress of the hunt. Not only pool but a game of beer pong was in
full swing. Will had a couple of guys sat down at a table playing poker.
Someone had called over some of the groupies who hung around the MCs like
sexual scavengers. The mood was just so that no one turned to look when Jase
and Maggie came in the back door. Jase didn’t stop walking, not even when they
bee-lined around the poker table, right in front of Henry, who sat at the bar
taking shots with Drake.

They were already halfway down the hall
when Maggie heard her father
’
s
voice. “
Jase! What
’
s
happening?
”

Jase yelled back as he continued towards
the front door.
“We
’
re
just taking a ride!
”

“Make it
quick!
”

“
Absolutely not,
”
said Jase in a deep voice to Maggie. He ushered her
out the door and gave her ass a little smack on the way, then closed it without
another word to Henry.

Even though she was sure Jase sped the
whole drive back to his place, it somehow took far too long for her liking. Her
hands roamed over Jase
’
s
chest with abandon as she nuzzled her face into his back and neck. At
stoplights she let her hand sink between his legs, and grinned at the way he
shifted his hips up into her touch, begging for more.

Jase had bought a small rambler on the
opposite side of town from where he grew up, closer to the emptiness of the
farmland and the sparse forests. He parked the bike in the driveway and climbed
off, immediately turning to kiss Maggie deeply, with both hands on the side of
her face.