Samson and Sunset (26 page)

  Everyone was silent. A lot of guys had
just been outed. What a mixed-up compliment. Was I supposed to be
upset because Shay had been with a hooker, or happy because I was
his fantasy? Several wives got up and left in anger. I just sat
there, real quiet. Shay put his arm around me and kissed my cheek,
saying softly, “I’m sorry you heard that, princess. Glad I don’t
drink hard liquor anymore.”

  I decided to just let this one
slide.

  ***

Kelly was getting old enough to enjoy a few
holidays. So that Father’s Day we bought a gift for Daddy’s special
day. We made him a cake together and an aluminum foil crown. Kelly
couldn’t wait ’til lunch

  “Mommy, when is the king coming in?”
Kelly asked. Now that just cracked me up.

  When he got in, I told Shay he was now
officially known as The King in the kids’ minds, adding that he was
a true king in my eyes as well. After lunch, he opened his gifts
and played with the kids until they were exhausted. Around 2 p.m.,
they went down for their naps.

  “So I’m the king,” Shay said. “Well,
woman, King Shay would like to see you in his court for a few
hours.”

  He picked me up and carried me up to
our room. To this day, I can still feel that chill-running,
tender-nibbling, soft-caressing, sensual foreplay that man gave me.
He just wore me out.

  Afterwards, lying there with my head
on Shay’s chest, I said, “I’m going to go soak in the tub, want to
come?”

  “No, babe, I’m going to grab a fast
shower and go work on my stock car,” he said.

A few minutes later, I was soaking and Shay
was showering, when I yelled, “Shay, Shay!” 

“What, babe?”

  “You need to get out of that shower
and call Maggie or Yonnie. I’m in hard labor!” I cried. “I have to
get to the hospital fast, or you’re going to have to deliver this
baby.”

  In a flash Shay was out of that
shower, dried and dressed. He lifted me out, dried me off and
called Maggie at the Big House. Then he grabbed my red silk pajamas
and dressed me.

  Maggie was coming in the door as we
were going out.

  “Good luck, kids!” she called, as we
rushed past her.

  Shay drove pretty fast, but the pain
was starting to become constant.

  “Hurry, Shay, hurry!” I cried.

  Shay pulled up right under the
emergency awning and rushed in to get the nurses. He picked me up
and laid me on the gurney the nurses brought out. When I got to the
delivery room, I was glad to see Doc Sam—thank goodness Shay had
Maggie call ahead. I just stayed on the gurney for delivery,
because we already had a head. A couple of pushes and she was
out.

  “Kathrine, you have a daughter. A tiny
one, but she looks good,” said Doc Sam.

  They rushed her right to the baby
room. I didn’t even get a peek. By the time Shay parked the car and
got to the fourth floor, he had missed the birth again. He was told
as he arrived on the fourth floor that he had a perfect little
daughter. When I saw Shay, he looked like he was in a daze.

  “Well, Shay Man,” I said, “how does
that compare to bringing a runaway truck off a mountain road?”

  He just shook his head, and went
looking for our little baby girl. Doc Sam came to my room and told
us she was fine, but she weighed just over three pounds.

  “What does that mean?” I asked.

  “Well,” said Doc Sam, “it means she’ll
be staying with us a few weeks, but that’s good Kathrine. It will
give you time to get back on your feet, be rested for when she
comes home.”

  Doc Sam sat down, looking tired. “ We
have been so busy today, Kathrine,” he said. “We’ve had eleven
Father’s Day babies, and the day’s not over yet.”

  ***

We named her Marie Margaret for my Mom and
Shay’s. Another baby I couldn’t nurse. I just had no luck with
that. Little Marie had to stay in the incubator for a while; we
could only see her through the window.

  I was dismissed after three days, and
I weighed less than when I got pregnant. I think the three days of
not being able to hold Marie was too much for me. I drove to Hudson
to feed her twice a day. Shay tried to go with me for the evening
feeding. She was so sweet, so tiny. Her skin had a slight blue tone
and she had a little bit of reddish brown hair, about enough for
that cute baby curl. I went home with empty arms, but at least she
was okay.

  We told Kelly and Wessy all about
their new baby sister. I told them they were a big sister and a big
brother now. They tried to say Marie but it came out as Rie-Rie, so
there it was, our little Marie got her first nickname. She became
our little Rie-Rie.

  ***

Twenty-one days after the birth, Doc Sam
called and told us we could bring Rie-Rie home. We were so
thrilled. Shay took the afternoon off and we went to get our little
baby. We took all of her little tiny clothes, which, at four pounds
and three ounces, she still drowned in. She was on a special
formula to help her gain a little more weight. They said to watch
her, and if we felt she had any difficulty breathing, to bring her
in immediately. Shay was walking down the hall with Doc Sam; I
remember my doctor had a folder in his hands. Oh well, it didn’t
matter—Rie-Rie was coming home.

  I put her bassinet in the seating area
of the master suite so I could check her every hour. I spent most
of the evening holding her, feeding her and just thanking God for
our little miracle. When Shay and I went to bed, he reached over
and pulled me into his arms. I just lay there, happy. What could be
more perfect in my life? I had Shay, three babies and a beautiful
home. I felt so complete and loved. I no longer felt like that
little girl from the wrong side of the tracks.

  “Callie,” Shay said in a hesitant
voice, “when Rie-Rie was born, I asked the doctor to do blood
tests. When we were at the hospital, Doc Sam asked me to walk with
him, and he told me the tests were back. Callie, I’m not Marie’s
father.”

  I had never heard such sadness in
Shay’s voice. In a matter of seconds my whole world dropped out
from under me.

  “No, Shay, no!” I sat up in bed. “She
just has to be ours, yours and mine!”

  “Well, the folder is down in the car.
I didn’t know how I was going to tell you, princess.” Shay held me
as I sobbed uncontrollably.

  “Well, Shay, how do you feel about all
this, do you still love her?" I asked in a shaky voice after a
while.

  “Of course I love her, Callie. But I
will be honest with you, as I always am. It really knocked the joy
out of my heart. Still, she is so innocent, she had nothing to do
with what Frank did.”

  Frank. There was a name I thought I’d
never have to hear again. Now, every time I looked at little
Rie-Rie, I was afraid I’d be reminded of that horrible day.

  Just then she started to fuss and I
was out of that bed in a flash, scooping her up in my arms. I did
not have Frank on my mind, just Rie-Rie and my love for her. I
think it was just the initial shock that made me doubt my love for
her, but I still questioned Shay’s. I knew he had to tell Sterling
and Maggie, but I also knew this family, and it would go no
further. This would be a family secret.

  I told my parents and, though they
were sad for me, they told me that it couldn’t be much different
than a man who was supposedly schooled and from a good family
siring a child he never wanted to see. They reminded me how much
everyone loved Kelly when she was born, and how much Shay loved
Kelly. They were sure he would love Marie as much as he loved the
other two children.

  Shay went out a few nights by himself,
as I wasn’t leaving this tiny baby. One night he came home at 4:30
a.m. reeking of perfume. I felt like I had no right to question
him. He was good to me, even though I had a child that wasn’t his.
I almost felt like I needed to be punished, and my punishment was
knowing he had been with another woman. He had every right, I
thought, to want to be with someone else. I certainly expected no
special treatment from him after everything that had happened. I
was riddled with guilt, and I convinced myself that I deserved
whatever happened.

  Sleeping Angel

  That Christmas I was just getting over
the flu, and Wessy had begun to run a fever, so I told Mom that
Shay and Kelly would be there for Christmas at her house, but I’d
stay home with Wessy and Rie-Rie.

  I dressed Kelly like a little doll and
she and Shay went out to do Christmas with the families. Every
place Kelly and Shay went, someone sent home lots of food for us:
turkey, stuffing, potatoes, gravy, vegetables, salads, and pies
with whipped cream. We had more leftovers in our refrigerator than
if I’d cooked a big meal at home! Plus every place sent home Wessy,
Marie’s and my gifts. Shay, thinking ahead, had them all send a
couple of Kelly’s gifts home so she would have presents to open
with us.

  Early Christmas morning Santa came.
Shay would give his deep, “Ho, ho, ho,” while the kids were
upstairs. “Quick, quick everybody!” he’d yell. “I just saw Santa go
out the door!”

  The kids would come running down the
stairs like racehorses, and all the fun would begin. They wanted to
see the gifts he’d left, but believe me, they really didn’t want to
see Santa; he sort of scared them, especially Wessy.

  Shay got me beautiful things as
always. At one point he said, “I have one more thing for you,
Callie. I made it; it’s in the trunk of my car.”

  “Well, go get it,” I said.
“Hurry!”

  He went to the shop to get it out of
the car. When he came back in, he was holding something behind his
back.

  “Well,” I said with and excited grin,
“give it to me, please.”

  I extended my hands and Shay handed me
a piece of wood. It was an old shingle with:
Callie, I love you.
You are my life. Love, Shay
carved carefully across it. He was
grinning from ear to ear.

  “I whittled it,” he said proudly. “I
found it at the grain elevator where I had to wait for two hours
one afternoon. I just looked out the window and saw this piece of
wood, and I thought of you, so I whittled it just for you,
princess.”

  I loved that gift so much. I cried and
threw my arms around Shay’s neck. I know that night he truly could
feel my gratitude. I treasured that shingle more than any other
gift he’d ever given me; it was a time I needed to know more than
ever that he still loved me.

  ***

I was the primary care giver for Rie-Rie. I
fed her, changed her and bathed her. I don’t remember many evenings
that Shay went into Kelly’s room, where we had placed the crib, to
tuck little Rie-Rie in the way he did the other two. I made a point
to watch, as I didn’t want to ask him about something that was just
my imagination. Oh, he would try to give her a graham cracker if
she was in her high chair, or he’d pick up her toy if she knocked
it on the floor. If I asked him to get her from her high chair and
give her to me, he’d do that. I saw him play peek-a-boo with her at
the table several times. But if we went somewhere with the kids,
Shay always carried Wessy and held Kelly’s hand with his other
hand.

  One afternoon, Shay came in and ran
upstairs to get his billfold. When he came down he said, “Your
baby’s awake and standing up in her crib.”

  “Shay Westover, you called her ‘my
baby.’ Isn’t she
our
baby?” I snapped. “Why didn’t you just
pick her up and bring her down?”

  “Callie, let’s not hash that out all
over again. You know I’m trying. I do love her; she’s a sweet
little baby. But when I do pick her up, she always cries.”

“You know why she cries? She doesn’t know
you! She doesn’t feel any warmth from you.” I regretted it right
after saying it.

  Shay gave me a disappointed look. “Now
you know better than that, Callie. I would never do anything to
hurt that child’s feelings, at least not on purpose.”

  I think I disappointed him for even
suggesting such a thing. I was overly sensitive about the baby.

  ***

Marie was ten months in April, but she was
still tiny. She didn’t sleep well. I would put her down and in a
few minutes she was awake and crying. This went on for several
weeks.

  “Callie, you’ve got her so spoiled by
holding her all the time that now she just wants to be held all the
time.”

  “That’s not true,” I told him. “I pick
her up because she cries so pathetically, I can’t stand to hear her
sobs.”

  “Well, she is going to get over that.
A few nights of crying, as long as she’s dry and fed, will do her
good. Then she’ll see you’re not going to come running and pick her
up and hold her all night so she can sleep.”

  “I won’t let her cry like that,” I
said.

  “Yes, you will, and it starts tonight.
Just look at how tired you are, princess. The doctor says you’re
anemic; you’ve been taking iron pills. Callie, you need some rest.
Marie is wearing you out. Tonight, she learns a new routine. You go
to sleep and I’ll stay awake to see that she knows no one is coming
to her rescue. A couple of nights of that and I guarantee you,
she’ll start sleeping through the night,” Shay said in his
that’s-the-way-it’s-going-to-be voice.

  I went to bed at 9:30, right after I
put Rie-Rie down for the night. Shay came to bed at 10:00. One
thing I loved about Shay, he never let any problems we were having
outside the bedroom into the bedroom. He was as loving and sexy as
usual. I told him that I thought maybe he was the reason I was so
tired.

  About forty-five minutes after I put
Rie-Rie down, she was crying.

  “Oh for gosh sake,” Shay said. “This
has got to stop. I can’t even make love to you without that child
interrupting.”

  He got up and told me to go to sleep,
saying he’d take care of it. I must have dropped off immediately; I
was so exhausted. I woke up about 4:00 a.m. and Shay wasn’t in bed.
I panicked—everything was so quiet. I got up and he wasn’t in the
sitting room. I crossed the hall and went into the girls’ room, and
there he was, asleep in the rocking chair, holding Marie up over
his shoulder, cradling her neck with one hand, the other around her
back. Big macho man, going to make the little baby cry all night so
he could turn her schedule around, well he’d just been busted.