Samson and Sunset (29 page)

  “There, there, don’t cry Kathrine,”
Willis consoled. “I’m going to do all I can to find your baby.
Every mother should have her child. I’m just saying gear up for the
fight of your lives. Bottom line, kids, the hospital bears all the
responsibility here. This is going to throw them into a tizzy.
They’re going to know someone on their staff messed up and therein
lies the lawsuit. We aren’t going to be able to get around that,
there is going to be liability here, big time.”

  After lunch, Willis walked us to our
car. We left the folder with him.

  “We’ll get started on this right
away,” said Willis, waving as we backed out of the lot.

  I cried all the way home. I felt sorry
for Shay because I know he tried to comfort me, but my arms were
empty. Yes, I had Kelly and Wessy, but when a mother has carried
three babies in her womb, under her breast and close to her heart,
there is nothing that can fill the hole of only having two.

  When we got home, Shay said he wasn’t
going to pick the kids up from Mom’s the way he’d planned. He
missed them as much as I did, but he didn’t want them to see Mommy
crying. That Shay was a sensible, caring man. He had to do what was
best for all of us, and seeing Mommy cry was not good for them.

  “Did we accomplish anything today,
Shay?” I asked.

  “We took the first necessary
step.”

  “It seemed like Willis was anxious to
get on this, but do you think he will?” I asked.

  “We’ll see,” Shay said, with that cool
head of his.

  ***

We had our answer the next morning. Willis
called and told us there was going to be an emergency meeting of
the hospital board at 2:00 p.m. and he wanted us to attend the
meeting with him.

  Before we left, we walked around the
farmstead grounds for a while. Shay put his arm around me, holding
me tight. It was like he felt if he let go I’d disappear. We went
inside for a lunchtime snack about 11:00.

  “Come here, babe,” said Shay at the
kitchen table. “Sit on my lap. I want to tell you something.” I got
up and sat on his lap.

  “Callie,” he told me. “I am so damn
proud of you. The way you’ve handled yourself, the way you’re
taking care of everyone. But, babe, I’m worried about the fact that
you don’t cry as much as I would have expected from you.”

  “I have a deep hole in my heart,
Shay,” I said quietly. “And that hole is filled with tears. I don’t
know what it is, but something keeps holding them down. Sometimes I
feel like I wish I had a straw so I could suck all the tears up and
out. They just can’t get to the surface. I want to cry, but I just
can’t! What do you think that means, Shay?”

  He just kissed me with those delicious
lips, picked me up and carried me into the guest room.

  “Callie,” he said, laying me on the
bed. “I’ve been wanting to make love to you in here for months. I
think this is the exact time to fill the inside of your life with
my love, right here in the room that you thought would be our
bedroom.”

  He gently unbuttoned my blue western
shirt, his hand soft against my body, his lips caressing my
breasts. I guess I wondered why that man was always so gentle with
me, (excluding the night he was drunk at the club.) It was always
like he thought I was going to break. He seemed to wait for a cue
from me, and then lovemaking could get extremely intense.

  Being made love to by Shay was more
than any woman could ever want. Even though I didn’t like it, I did
understand why the girls went straight to him like bees to a nectar
filled rose, especially if they’d had sex with him. One time could
never be enough; you’d want him forever.

  We were alone in the house, so we were
loud, very loud. We loved being that loud, just letting it all out.
After the great sex we showered, dressed and went to the hospital
for the meeting with the board.

  I was surprised at how many people
were there. I think there were thirteen people, plus Willis, Shay
and myself. Thinking back, some of those people were probably from
the legal department, maybe even the hospital owner’s attorneys. We
all sat around a big conference table and Willis brought everyone
who didn’t know about the situation up to speed.

  “We’re going to need records of all of
the babies that were born that day. Plus we want to get a timeline
established,” Willis said sternly. “My clients, the Westovers, have
suffered immense pain in the last several months: they not only
found out their child was ill, but they lost her. Topping that off,
they find out that they buried someone else’s child. Folks, someone
out there has this young couples’ biological child. This was all an
error of this hospital. I would suggest you call all the patients
immediately or send them registered letters. We need them to all
come in and have blood tests run.”

  After the meeting, we went to coffee
with Willis. He asked if we saw the concern on their faces.

  “They were concerned for
themselves
,” he said. “They know a lawsuit is imminent.
Maybe more than one!”

  ***

In the next week we got regular updates from
Willis. Eight baby girls had been born on June 16, 1967, within the
four-hour period surrounding Marie’s birth. One was a black child.
Sheila, the baby’s mother, had been my roommate when I gave birth
to Marie. I’d stayed in contact with Sheila; she and her husband,
Tyrone, had even come to Marie’s funeral. I told Willis they could
be eliminated. Willis said that, for legal purposes, all the babies
had to be tested for a match.

  “The first parents to respond have
been absolutely terrified,” he said. 

Well, who wouldn’t have been terrified to get
a call or letter saying your baby might not be yours? It took
almost five weeks to get seven of the families found and test dates
set. After the tests were taken, it could take up to three weeks to
get the results.

  Sheila called me and told me her heart
went out to me. She laughed and said, ‘Kathrine, you know I don’t
have your baby.’ I told her she couldn’t be too sure I wouldn’t
snatch that beautiful baby for myself! Sheila’s little girl was
just beautiful.

  There was one baby they couldn’t
locate: the child of a fifteen-year-old girl who had given birth
around the same time as I did. Her baby had been incubated also.
She wasn’t married and the birth certificate read, “Father:
Unknown.”

  “Willis,” Shay said, “what do we do
about that fifteen-year-old girl?”

  “We’re going to hire a private
investigator to search for the mother. This isn’t going to cost you
anything, Shay, it’s the hospitals expense.”

  “You know, none of this is about
money. I don’t care what it costs me. I just want our child found.
Sometimes it feels like our daughter is just a dollar sign to
people. Well, let me tell you, she’s our heart.”

  If it hadn’t been for Shay, Kelly and
Wessy, I think I’d have lost my mind.

  Samson and Sunset had been put on the
backburner. In April sometime around our great loss, Sunset had
given birth to her filly. She was born a blackish gray; normal for
a foal that was probably going to grow up white like her parents.
We were so lucky that Sterling had been there to help Lucas through
all that needed be done. I found out from Maggie that Sterling came
and got Kelly every day that she was at the farm and took her to
see her filly, who she had named Starling. Kelly loved Starling.
The little filly would follow her everywhere. Sterling would put
some oats in a small bucket and give it to Kelly and Kelly would
show it to Starling, shake it and then run with the bucket.
Starling would run behind her. Sometimes they’d run for over half
an hour. Kelly would run them in figure eights. They loved playing
together.

  ***

Well, it was coming up on Shay’s and my
anniversary, July 3rd, and we still didn’t have our baby. On the
first of the month, Shay said, “Callie, when I get in this evening
around six, we’re going riding.”

  I was absolutely thrilled at that. It
gave me something to look forward to all day. I was ready when Shay
got in. He took a quick shower, grabbed a fresh-baked roll and
said, “Woman, we’re going riding.”

  Yonnie had the kids. When Kelly saw us
go out the door to go riding she started crying. Shay went back in
to hold her and talk to her.

  “Baby doll,” he said softly. “We love
you so much and we love taking you riding with us, but you know,
pumpkin, Mommy’s been real sad lately and Daddy just wants to make
Mommy all better. Can you understand that? Since you’re such a big
girl?”

  “Okay, Daddy,” she said. “I want my
mommy to be my happy mommy again. I’ll stay here and take care of
Wessy.”

  “Oh, you’re so good,” Shay said as he
hugged her. “I promise to take you riding tomorrow, pumpkin. High
five!” They high fived and we were out the door.

  We rode all the way to the lake,
talking. Nothing important, just husband and wife talk.

  Shay asked me what I wanted for my
anniversary.

  “Don’t you mean
our
anniversary?” I said. “I’m glad you brought that up, darlin’. I
really don’t want to go out celebrating. I didn’t get you a gift,
Shay. That’s been the furthest thing from my mind. So please don’t
get me anything. Let’s just stay at home with the kids this year.
I’ll make a special supper or you can barbeque, and we can play
with the kids and count our blessings. Maybe take some of Maggie’s
hot house flowers to the cemetery.”

  “That makes a lot of sense to me,
Callie. I don’t see any reason to go out on the town and celebrate
either. But I promise you, we’ll have a great anniversary next
year, princess.” And with that, Shay lifted me off of Sunset and,
for the next couple of hours, made lying in the grass worth our
time.

  After lovemaking, wrapped in Shay’s
arms, watching the sunset, I felt safe.

  ***

One day Willis called and asked Shay and me
to lunch at the club. All of the babies had been officially
confirmed as none-matches, he said, with the exception of the
fifteen-year-old girl.

  “I asked you to come to lunch today,”
said Willis, “because I see the immense toll this has taken on the
two of you. Kathrine, you have no idea how much my heart goes out
to you, but we have done all we can do at the moment. We just can’t
get a lead. It’s like that young mother dropped off the face of the
earth. We will always keep looking. We’ll follow every lead we get,
but for now,” he looked at us sadly, “we have to close the
investigation. You really need to try to move on with your lives.
I’m not asking you to forget your child, what I’m saying is maybe
you have to just let her go.”

  I stood up. “Willis, you can give up,
but I will spend the rest of my life knowing I have a daughter out
there. Wondering if she's happy, if she's well-fed, being abused.
Is she sad? Does she have all her needs met? I will never let go in
my heart or in my mind. And I will never give up. Not 'til I've
found her. Excuse me." I threw my napkin down and ran to the
ladie's room.

  In the ladies’ room, I sobbed. They
were giving up on my child. I was never going to give up on my
child. I pulled myself together and threw water on my face.
Finally, I returned to the table. Both guys stood up and Shay held
my chair as I sat down.

  “Kathrine, the part you missed, I was
just telling Shay—the hospital is offering a settlement. You and
Shay look it over and you decide if you want to counter it,” said
Willis.

  “So it’s down to money,” I said. “I
get money and someone else gets my child. I don’t even see a
compromise here.”

  I know Shay could see I was getting
ready to let go on Willis, so he jumped in, saying, “Callie, I
think it’s time for us to leave. You and I can talk about this when
we’re alone.” He took my hand and led me out.

  We never did discuss the settlement.
Shay never brought it up to me again. I knew it was because he
didn’t want me to ever feel that we had sold our daughter. No
amount of money could fill my heart. To this day, I have no idea
what was settled on. I gave Shay my power of attorney and told him
to handle it.

  I took the rest of the afternoon for
myself and went to the cemetery to talk to Cookie and Marie. I told
them I was going to try to let go, try as hard as I could to give
my family the normal life they deserved. I asked God to watch over
my child and keep her safe. Let her be happy and safe with someone
who loved her as we did.

  Driving home I felt as though God had
wrapped His arms around me. I thought of Shay, Kelly and Wessy, and
reminded myself I was a blessed woman.

  Distractions

  I decided to start enjoying life and
just be thankful for the good things God had given me. I threw
myself into my family and took the kids for walks in the park. I
enrolled Kelly in a tiny tot’s ballet class, which was fun for both
of us. Wessy had the greatest personality, that child was certainly
his father’s son. The little guy was always taking things apart to
see how they worked. But there wasn’t one day that went by that I
didn’t think about my baby. I couldn’t look at a child who was
about the age she’d be without wondering if it might be her.

  One night I told Shay this and he
said, “Callie, you have to stop doing that. You’re driving yourself
crazy. I’ve noticed you toss and turn all night. You never used to
do that. Princess, you need to stop persecuting yourself. Let her
go. You had to let little Rie-Rie go. I can’t believe I’m saying
this, but put her in God ’s hands and trust that whoever has her is
taking good care of her, okay? Please, Callie, for your own sake.
Release yourself from this agony.”

  “Oh, Shay,” I said, tears running down
my face. “ I know you’re right, and I’ll try, I really will,
darling. But how does a mother forget her child? Someone needs to
tell me how to do that, because I don’t know how.”