Safe at Last (Slow Burn #3) (17 page)

Zack’s eyes narrowed in disbelief. Gracie was hardly the kind of woman most men would view as their sister. She was beautiful. So beautiful it hurt to look at her.

Sterling let out a sound of exasperation. “Okay, sure, in the beginning I was interested. But after getting to know her, I realized that the last thing she needed was a relationship. But what she
did
need was a friend. Someone she could trust. And it took a long time for her to trust me.”

Zack felt grudging respect for the other man. It certainly appeared as though he’d been good to Gracie. Had been there when she needed someone. But it burned like acid in his mind and heart that
he
hadn’t been the one she leaned on. He hadn’t been her rock, her friend, her lover. He’d been . . . nothing. When she’d been everything in the world to him, she’d thought he’d betrayed her in the worst way.

He wanted to throw up.

“I need to know everything,” Zack said quietly. “We’ll drop you back by your truck so you can follow us back to the hospital. You can see Gracie. Maybe it will appease her fears if she sees a familiar face and understands that I’m not going to . . . hurt . . . her.”

He nearly strangled saying the last. As if he’d ever hurt her. But she didn’t believe the same. She believed he’d
already
hurt her.

“Okay, but I really don’t know that much. Sorry. She wasn’t very forthcoming on the details. All she said was the man she loved had set her up and wanted to get rid of her. She then told me that you arranged for her to be raped by . . .”

He broke off and glanced warily at Zack as if afraid of the impending outburst.

“Just say it,” Zack said through his teeth.

What could be worse than what Sterling had already related?

He should have known it could get worse. It could
always
get worse.

“She was raped by three of your friends,” Sterling said softly.

Zack’s mouth flapped open and shut. He was utterly robbed of speech. His mind was such a red cloud of fury he couldn’t breathe. He didn’t think it could get any worse than Gracie being raped and believing it was at his instigation. But she hadn’t simply been raped. She’d been gang-raped. By people he trusted! People he called
friends
? He was a hair’s breath from completely and utterly losing all control and turning over the entire goddamn world to find the sons of bitches who’d violated Gracie in the most demeaning, dehumanizing manner possible.

“
What friends?
” he demanded hoarsely.

“I don’t know. I swear,” Sterling said. “She didn’t get into much detail. All she said was that three of your friends raped her at your request. That you wanted to get rid of her for good. It happened while you were at school. The day before you were due to come home again. She said you wanted the job done and for her to be gone by the time you got home from school.”

Tears of rage and anguish swirled chaotically in his eyes. This was insane. It was something straight out of fiction or some bizarre movie. This shit didn’t happen in real life, did it?

His
friends
had raped the woman he loved? Supposedly at his behest? And she
believed
that?

How could she have had so little faith in him? She should have come to him. Immediately. God, he would have killed every last one of them. He would have done anything in the world to protect her, to make it better. He would have gladly spent the rest of his life in jail if it meant seeking justice for the horrific crime committed against her. He would have spared no regret and he would have made damn sure that Gracie was taken care of for the rest of her life. Had whatever she needed. And she damn well would have known that he loved her with every piece of his soul.

What friends?

Someone he’d trusted had violated the woman he loved? It was no secret that Zack was solidly in love with Gracie. That he’d planned his entire life around her. Everyone knew it. Even his asshole of a father. Even his father had resigned himself to the fact that Gracie was going nowhere. That she’d forever be a part of his son’s life. That for Zack everything,
everything
revolved around her and her happiness. There was nothing he wouldn’t do, wouldn’t sacrifice for her love and happiness.

“So you know nothing at all other than she was raped. By my friends. Because I asked them to.”

He could barely even get the words out. They choked him. The taste was so bitter in his mouth that he gagged.

This wasn’t happening. After twelve years without her, he’d dreamed of this moment. The moment when they were reunited. Perhaps he’d imagined it a bit too optimistically. Maybe he’d truly thought that whatever misunderstanding had driven them apart could be overcome with a few words and that everything would be okay. That they’d resume their life together and live happily ever after.

How the hell were they
ever
going to be able to overcome this? He didn’t even know where to start.

Why would his friends rape her? Why would they try to tear them apart? Well, they certainly hadn’t tried. They’d succeeded beyond his wildest imagination. But it still kept coming back to . . .
why
? Had they hated her so much? Had they hated him so much? Was it jealousy? Resentment for what they deemed his perfect life? How could anyone do something so utterly despicable?

He searched his memory, trying to remember how they’d acted around her. Granted, she hadn’t been exposed to them often. Zack hadn’t wanted to share her with his friends or anyone else for that matter. He was extremely possessive of Gracie and his time with her. Had they resented being second best to a mere girl? Had they set out to ruin not only her life but his as well? He couldn’t wrap his head around any of it.

But he didn’t remember any animosity. His group of friends had been polite and respectful. They’d even teased and played around with her in an effort to make her feel comfortable. Gracie had been terribly shy. Her self-esteem and self-confidence hadn’t been strong. He’d used every opportunity to build her up. To make her secure in the knowledge that she was perfect to him. That he loved her, would
always
love her.

The only person who’d been overtly hostile toward her and had never made the effort to disguise his dislike of her had been his father. But after that first time he’d brought her home to meet his father, he made sure the two were never exposed to one another again.

He couldn’t put his finger on a single guy from his large group of friends who he truly believed would do something so despicable. And yet Sterling had said she’d been raped by
three
of them.

Oh God.

Bile rose in his throat, threatening to erupt from his churning stomach. She’d been raped by three men. One was bad enough for any woman. But three? It didn’t bear thinking about. He was devastated. So heartbroken that he didn’t even know what to do, to say. How could he possibly make something like this go away? She’d live the rest of her life reliving the trauma of that event and there wasn’t a goddamn thing he could do to make it better.

Had she cried while they were holding her down? Had she called for him? Had she begged him to save her? What had she felt when she had been convinced that he had been the one to orchestrate the entire thing? And what the hell would
ever
give her that idea in the first place?

He was going to lose it. His hands shook around the steering wheel as he pulled back onto the road. His pulse was thumping wildly in his heart, at his neck, at his temples. The road stretched and blurred in his vision. Tears burned his eyelids and he rubbed them away with the back of one arm.

He had to keep it together. He couldn’t confront Gracie this way. Not when he wanted to rage at the world. He wanted to destroy something. He wanted the names of the men who’d done this because he would not rest until they had all paid for hurting Gracie. He would destroy every last one of them. He would not rest until justice was served.

Sweet, beautiful, good-to-her-toes Gracie. What kind of monsters would do that to her? And to somehow convince her that Zack had been behind it all? That he wanted to wash his hands of her in the worst possible fashion?

It was so sick and twisted that Zack couldn’t even comprehend such evil. From his friends. Guys he’d called friends. That they would gang up on a defenseless girl and ruthlessly torment her, degrade her and destroy her, driving her away from Zack forever.

How the hell had she made it alone? No degree. No training. No skills. On her own without anyone in the world to lean on at such a young age. God, he wanted to cry like a damn baby.

How many nights had she cried herself to sleep? How hard had it been for her to heal from such devastation without anyone to help her, to love and support her? He had been Gracie’s only source of support. No one else had given a damn about her, and in his youthful exuberance and optimism, he’d been convinced that he was all she needed. That he could provide everything for her. That she didn’t need anyone else and neither did he.

God, how wrong he’d been.

Because Gracie had no one.

Gracie thought the man who’d professed to love her had set her up for a horror no woman should ever endure.

She thought the man she’d loved had lied to her. Had played her, manipulated her, and ultimately betrayed her and thrown her away like she was nothing more than a piece of trash. Not important. Like she was no one. Like she was a nuisance and a hindrance to Zack’s life.

“Zack,” Eliza said softly, shaking him from his torturous thoughts. “You okay?”

“No,” he said, his voice cracking with emotion. “No, the hell I’m not okay. I’ll
never
be okay. How could I be after hearing that? She thinks I had her
gang-raped
by three of my
friends,
Lizzie. She thinks I discarded her like yesterday’s garbage. How am I supposed to ever get over that? How am I supposed to ever get her to trust me, much less love me again?”

Eliza sighed. “I’m sorry, Zack. I don’t even know what to say. This is one fucked-up situation. Any idea which ‘friends’ it could have been?”

“No. But I
will
find out,” he said in an icy, frigid tone that promised retribution like never before dished out. “So help me God, when I found out who touched her, who hurt her, who put their filthy goddamn hands on her, I’ll rip their fucking nuts off and shove them down their throats.”

“I’d be glad to help you,” Sterling said mildly. “I’m not without resources myself, and perhaps, as I’m not you, and the three in question would understandably be more wary around you, then I would have better luck finding out what we need to know.”

“I may take you up on that,” Zack said.

“Call me anytime. Gracie is my friend. Yes, at one time I entertained the idea that I’d like her to be more. But it was obvious she most needed a friend and so I filled that requirement. And now? I honestly do view her as a little sister, so you needn’t be worried about me influencing her one way or another.”

How ironic that a day before Zack would have gladly laid Sterling out for even breathing Gracie’s name and now the two were actually joining forces. But if everything Sterling had said was true, then Zack could only be grateful that Sterling had been there for Gracie when she needed someone so desperately. When she’d had no one else in the world.

That was over now.

Gracie might not want him but she had him. He was hers.

And by God, before it was over, regardless of whether Gracie was ever able to forgive him for what she thought he’d done, the bastards who’d hurt her would pay.

He wouldn’t rest until he’d brought his own brand of justice to his “friends.”

FIFTEEN

“JESUS,”
Sterling said, his expression one of horror as he stared down at Gracie’s sleeping figure.

He lifted his gaze to Zack, who stood on the other side of the bed, shock and disbelief mirrored in his eyes.

“What kind of animal does this to a defenseless woman?”

The incredulity in his voice was echoed by Zack’s own. He didn’t get it. Maybe he never would. He saw violence and ridiculous shit every day in his line of work. But this? A cold, methodical beating meted out for the simple purpose of a message? Whatever happened to writing a letter? Or a threatening phone call, for God’s sake. Or better yet, not being a goddamn coward and bringing the fight to someone who could damn well defend themselves against such an attack.

Just come straight to the source. Bring the fight to
him
. He was positively itching to administer a dose of payback.

“They’re fucking cowards,” Zack said, the words rumbling through his chest.

Sterling leaned over, concern etched on his face, and he gently trailed his finger over her forehead to her cheek and then to her jaw. Zack might resent the other man’s relationship with Gracie, but he at least seemed to genuinely care about her, so Zack couldn’t very well find fault with Sterling for being a source of support to Gracie when she needed it the most. Even as he burned with jealousy that Sterling had what he didn’t. A connection to Gracie, romantic or not.

Gracie obviously trusted Sterling, whereas Zack might never have or earn her trust again. It was a thought that formed a lead ball in his gut. His love for Gracie hadn’t diminished in twelve years, as would be the case for most people. He hadn’t been able to let go even when faced with the unlikelihood that he’d ever see her again. Never touch, kiss or simply hold her.

His biggest regret was never having made love to her. She would have given herself—her virginity—to him, but he’d wanted to wait for the sanctity of marriage. A marriage that had never happened.

He would never have disrespected Gracie by taking advantage of her. He was four years older than her, twenty to her sweet sixteen. He’d thought they had all the time in the world and that when they did make love, it would be as man and wife. Her virginity would be the most cherished of gifts. And now, to know that it had been ripped from her, with no care, no regard, none of the tenderness he’d planned? It made him so sick to his soul that it was a wound that would never heal. For her or for him.