Safe at Last (Slow Burn #3) (13 page)

He blew out his breath and wearily closed his eyes.

“This is killing me, man. Think how you’d feel if you went home and Ari was just . . . gone. And you never heard from her again. And then twelve years later you find her, only she’s terrified of you, accuses you of some horrible betrayal and she hates you.”

“No thanks,” Beau muttered. “That’s some heavy shit you’re toting around, dude.”

“Tell me about it.”

Zack looked back in to the room to check on Gracie, but she appeared to be resting comfortably, devoid of the nightmares he was sure were haunting her.

Also encouraging was that the strain around her eyes and on her forehead had eased after the last injection of pain medication had been administered.

But as much as he knew she needed as much rest as possible, he was also impatient for her to awaken so that maybe, when she wasn’t in so much pain, and perhaps the horror of what she’d endured wasn’t burning as brightly in her consciousness, then maybe, finally, she’d talk. To him. And only him. No one to interrupt them. No one to come to Gracie’s rescue when she was already in the safest place she could be. And once she was discharged, he was taking her to an even safer place so she’d have time to heal. He only prayed that in that time, he and Gracie could talk about the past, something he knew caused her as much pain as he’d endured.

Please God show me the way to help her past this. Grant us both the courage to face our pasts. And for the both of us to heal. Together. So that we can finally live the dream we wanted so much instead of a twelve-year-long nightmare.

If only the beating of a few hours ago was the only thing currently causing her terror. Even if she did awaken better able to comprehend and put enough distance between the attack and where she was now, there was still the issue of her fearing Zack more than she had the assholes who had beaten her so brutally. And if that wasn’t enough to make him vomit in the nearest trash can, he didn’t know what was.

“I know it’s risky but . . .”

Beau’s unfinished statement was enough to break the stranglehold of panic and the litany of what-ifs and he glanced up to see what his partner was going to say.

Beau broke off, uncertainty flickering in his eyes. Beau was in no way indecisive. It wasn’t like him to hesitate. Zack cocked an eyebrow and mentally braced himself as he waited for his partner to continue.

“What’s risky?” he prompted when Beau wasn’t forthcoming.

“I just wondered if having Ramie and Ari here
would
help. I mean make her feel more at ease,” Beau added. “I’m sure it
was
startling to wake up in the hospital and have a bunch of surly-ass, pissed-off men in her room.”

“No way,” Zack said emphatically. “No fucking way. No way I’d risk them like that. I can’t believe you’d even suggest something like that. Caleb would lose his damn mind.”

“Just hear me out,” Beau said, holding his hands up. “Of course we’d have heavy guard, and those fucking bastards are cowards anyway. They won’t show their heads in public or broad daylight. They do their shit off the grid and in the shadows. And if it helped ease Gracie’s fears and convinced her you weren’t going to murder her in her sleep, then it would be worth it, don’t you think?”

“I think it’s a bad idea,” Zack said stubbornly. “And even if we wanted to do it, Caleb would never agree. Hell, can you imagine if Ramie accidentally touched Gracie? Or if Gracie touched her, not knowing what it would do? Then not only will Gracie have gone through hell, but then Ramie will experience that same hell.”

“True,” Beau grudgingly admitted. “I hadn’t thought of that. Still, there has to be something we can do. When Gracie is released from this place, she isn’t going to want your help and she’s an absolute target. Short of kidnapping her, I don’t see what you can do.”

“I
will
kidnap her,” Zack said fiercely. “She already hates me. If making sure she stays alive until we bring down these assholes means she hates me more, then I can live with that. As long as she’s
alive
to hate me.”

Beau rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. “Okay, so we won’t bring the girls here. But I still think it’s a good idea to get them together with Gracie as soon as possible. This has clusterfuck written all over it.”

Zack mused a moment, glancing back through the doorway at Gracie a second time to make sure she was still resting quietly.

“There’s also the issue of Sterling,” Zack said, a foul taste in his mouth at the mere mention of the other man’s name. “I doubt the bastard will just stay away. They’re involved even though he says not romantically. But it would appear he keeps close tabs on her or at least has more than a passing acquaintance, so I’d expect him to roll in before she’s discharged.”

“I’ll get a man on him to monitor his comings and goings. At least you’ll get somewhat of a heads-up if he heads this way.”

“Lizzie is working on getting me another place to stay. I’m not going back to my apartment. The security there sucks. Ramie and Ari could come then as long as we have all safety measures in place.”

Beau nodded. “That’s a good idea. Let me know when Eliza finds you something. I’ll make sure it’s furnished and stocked with groceries and I’ll damn sure tighten security so you’ll know when an ant farts on the property.”

A light sound came from Gracie’s bed. Zack jerked around to see her stirring. The frown and strain were back on her face and she turned restlessly, a small sigh escaping her swollen lips.

Answering pain registered in Zack’s chest. He should be there at her bedside comforting her. Touching and holding her. Not be on the opposite end of the room because he couldn’t bear to see so much fear in her eyes when she looked at him. When she would look at him, that is. So far she’d avoided his gaze except for a very few times. As if she couldn’t bear to look at
him
.

“I’m going to run,” Beau said in a low voice. “But I’ll check back periodically. Text or call me if anything goes down or you need anything. And I’ll send Eliza over with dinner for you and Gracie, provided she feels up to eating. Maybe having Eliza here will ease some of Gracie’s fears.”

“Good idea,” Zack said. “I should have thought about her when you suggested bringing Ramie and Ari. But make damn sure Eliza doesn’t come alone. I’m not disrespecting her or her skills in the least, but I don’t want her going solo while these nut jobs are gunning for us.”

“No, I agree absolutely. I’d rather none of us fly solo anytime soon. They obviously have a hard-on for anyone remotely involved with DSS so all bets are off and I wouldn’t assume anyone is safe.”

“I want these guys, Beau,” Zack said in a low, fierce tone. “I want their blood.”

“You’ll get it if I have anything to do with it,” Beau vowed. “I have a few shots of my own to get in for what they did and tried to do to Ari.”

“Make damn sure she isn’t blaming herself,” Zack said.

Beau nodded and then clapped a hand over Zack’s shoulder.

“Okay, then I’m out of here right now. Seeing Gracie makes me want to get back to Ari and reassure myself she’s okay. This scares me, Zack,” Beau admitted. “If anything happened to Ari . . .”

“I get it,” Zack said in turn. “Believe me, I get it. Hey, do me a favor. When you call Eliza about dinner, ask her to buzz me on her way up so I can step outside to talk to her.”

“Will do,” Beau said. He blew out a long breath. “I’m sorry about this, man. Everything. I know it has to suck. I wish to hell there was something I could do—some way to help.”

“You can. By helping bring down the people who did this to her. I won’t rest until every last one of them is six feet under. Preferably in pieces.”

Beau nodded and then quietly walked away. Zack turned back to go inside the room and return to Gracie’s side, eager but at the same time reluctant for her to wake up again. Maybe this time he’d get some answers. There was only so much he could take, and this was eating him alive.

TWELVE

ZACK
stood in Gracie’s cracked doorway as he waited for Eliza to make her appearance. After checking with the nurse to see if Gracie was under any dietary restrictions, he’d asked Eliza to bring soup. The nurse had told him that while there was nothing to prevent her from eating, it could very well be painful for her to chew and she might just not feel well enough to keep anything down.

He was going to sit by her bed and feed her himself if she needed it. He hated to think of her in any discomfort at all. He couldn’t take away the pain brought on by her injuries but he could at least ease any hunger she might have.

And hopefully Beau’s idea that another woman might make her feel more at ease was spot-on and Eliza would deliver in spades. No one could resist Eliza’s warm, earthy charm. She was as genuine as they came and could make anyone feel comfortable.

He just prayed today wasn’t her first failure.

A moment later his gaze caught Eliza turning the corner of the hallway and striding toward him at a brisk pace. When she approached, bags in hand, she automatically enfolded him in a fierce hug.

“How you holding up?” she asked gently as she pulled away.

“Not well,” he said.

There was little point in lying to her. Any idiot could see he was not okay.

She grimaced in sympathy and then handed a plastic takeout bag to him.

“I got the soup you asked for and I got you a sub, fully loaded, and there’s a bottle of my home-brewed tea for you in the bag as well.”

He smiled at her. “Thanks, Lizzie. You’re the best.”

“Beau brought me up to speed, so you don’t have to. I hope I can be of help to you, Zack. I know this has to be horrific for you, to not know what’s upset her so badly and for her to hate you. Man. I can’t even imagine what you’re thinking right now, what you’re going through. But listen. You know I’m only a phone call away and if you need anything, I mean anything at all, you call me. Got it? Day or night. I don’t give a crap what time it is.”

He reached for her and pulled her into another bone-crushing hug. As pathetic as it might have sounded, he just needed another of her hugs. She gave the best.

She kissed him on the cheek and followed up with a gentle hand to his face, patting lightly before withdrawing.

“Come on then. Let’s go see about Gracie.”

“She’s mostly slept since Beau left. She came around briefly but was in so much pain I had to call the nurse to get her more medicine. I probably shouldn’t wake her up. She needs the rest, I’m sure. But I’d feel better if she could keep some food down and also, you’re here, and I’ll be honest: I’m desperate. I’m willing to try anything to get through to her.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“I know, Lizzie. I know. I love you dearly. You and Beau. The others . . . You’re the only friends I have. I mean I stay in touch with a few buddies from high school but we see each other maybe once a year, although I haven’t seen them in the last two.”

“Can’t get rid of me,” she said lightly as she put the bag she was carrying down on the table by the bed. “Once you’re my friend, my friend you stay.”

Eliza turned to the bed and studied it for a moment.

“I assume this an adjustable bed and you could raise the back up a bit. Would make it far easier for her to eat.”

“Yeah. It does. I just have to be careful that movement doesn’t cause her even more pain. The doctor said she had a few cracked lower ribs. I don’t imagine that feels good with any sort of pressure on her abdomen.”

Eliza looked contemplative for a moment. “Actually, lying flat like she is, only elevated a bit is probably less comfortable than sitting up more. I had abdominal surgery several years ago and for a week after, the only way I could sleep was in a recliner. Lying flat on a bed? Agonizing.”

Zack frowned. “Damn. I didn’t think of that. I hope to hell she hasn’t been uncomfortable all this time.”

“Do you want to wake her or do you want me to?” Eliza asked quietly.

He hesitated, staring at Gracie’s closed eyes for a long moment. Then slowly he nodded. “Yeah, let’s give it a try. Maybe if you’re the first person she sees when she wakes up, instead of me, she won’t freak as badly.”

“I’m so sorry, Zack. I know that has to hurt you.”

He didn’t deny it but neither did he respond.

“Okay, well, you step back and get the soup ready to go. I’ll see if I can get Gracie to come around for me.”

Zack took a position by the sink, where he wasn’t directly in Gracie’s sight path but he could see her and Eliza both from where he stood. He found himself holding his breath when Eliza bent over Gracie and curled her own hand around Gracie’s.

“Gracie. Gracie, honey, can you wake up?”

Eliza was infinitely patient and she kept her tone low and soothing the entire time.

“Gracie. I have soup for you. You’re probably starving and could likely eat a horse by now, but I bet that jaw hurts like hell. Not to mention your poor mouth.”

Zack’s pulse accelerated when Gracie blinked and slowly turned her head in the direction of Eliza’s voice. Eliza smiled down at her and reached up with her free hand to push back the hair that fell over Gracie’s brow and partially obscured her sight.

“Hey, there you are,” Eliza said affectionately.

To a stranger, it would appear that Eliza and Gracie knew one another. That they had a close relationship. But that was the magic of Eliza.

Gracie’s face crinkled in confusion. She blinked again and moved her head slightly to the side as though she were trying to place Eliza.

“Do I know you?” Gracie asked, her voice hoarse and strained.

Her throat was probably swollen from the trauma and it likely hurt like hell to swallow. He was doubly glad he’d gotten Eliza to get soup. Chewing and swallowing would both be a bitch.

Eliza’s smile widened. “No, or at least you didn’t until now. My name is Eliza Cummings. How are you feeling? Okay, don’t answer that. Bad question, I know. Of course you feel like shit. And hon, not to offend you, but you look like someone ran over you, reversed and backed over you again.”

Gracie looked startled for the space of a moment before she visibly relaxed and let out a short laugh that ended with a cough and a groan.