Rose (Suitors of Seattle) (10 page)

Harriett shrugged. “Of course, he acted like he did.  He wanted you to be his wife.”

“But he deceived me!”  Why didn’t Aunt Harriett understand?

“No, he didn’t.  He courted you.  There’s a big difference.”

“Well, yesterday he wouldn’t even let me sit with my family at church.  He physically stopped me from doing it by grabbing my arm.  Surely you can see that’s wrong.” 

Harriett eyed Rose.  “What are you trying to say, Rose?”

“He’s hurting me.  Just like the women in the battered women’s house have been hurt.”  She folded her arms across her chest.  “I can’t stay with him.  May I move in here with you and Uncle Max?”

Harriett’s face turned a dark shade of red.  Rose was surprised, because she had never seen her aunt look so angry.  Good.  She was taking her words seriously. “Rose, the women in the battered women’s house have been hurt by their husbands.  Physically hurt.  Your feelings and pride have been slightly bruised.  There’s a big difference.”

Rose shook her head.  “Why can’t you see it’s the same?”

Harriett studied her for a moment before taking a deep breath.  “You’ve heard the abuse stories of some of the women there, and you dare to compare them to your own story of having a man not love you like you think he should?”

Rose blinked a few times, only then realizing that Harriett was angry with her.  “What do you mean?”  Was Aunt Harriett really not going to take her side?

Harriett saw the baby’s nurse in the hall and called her in.  “Take him up to his room now, please, Lucy.” She turned on the sofa to fully face Rose.  “You’re complaining because he doesn’t fall at your feet like the other young men you’ve known.  There’s a big difference between not falling
in love with you and abuse.” She breathed deeply a few times, obviously trying to keep her temper in check before speaking again.  “On my wedding night with my first husband, he used his belt on my back over my wedding dress because I hadn’t worn the correct type of shoes for the ceremony.  He beat me almost daily.  He pushed me down a flight of stairs when I was five months pregnant with our child and caused me to miscarry and I will limp every day of my life as a result.  I still mourn the baby that never had a chance to draw his first breath.”  She paused, looking at Rose with flashing eyes.  “You tell me what you have experienced with Shawn is abuse because he wouldn’t let you sit with your parents at church and he told you he doesn’t love you?  You know
nothing
of true abuse, and I hope you never do.”

Rose stared at her aunt in horror.  She’d known that her first husband had been cruel to her, but she’d never imagined how cruel.  “I’m sorry, Aunt Harriett.”

Harriett shook her head.  “You have always lived the life of a cossetted child.  You were the firstborn, and the boys all loved you.  It’s time for you to grow up and face the consequences of your actions.  I warned you that I didn’t think Shawn felt about you the way you felt about him, and I know your father did the same.  And here you are complaining to me that we didn’t tell you?  That we allowed you to be treated unkindly and didn’t do our job correctly?”  She stood up, walking toward the door to the parlor.  “You’re a spoiled little girl, Rose.  Grow up.”

Rose stared after her aunt for a moment, realizing she’d just way overstepped her bounds.  She wasn’t going to be allowed to stay with Aunt Harriett or in the battered women’s home; that much was clear.  She sighed.  She hoped her aunt would forgive her for her words.  She certainly hadn’t meant to upset her.

She went into the dining room and saw her aunt sitting down to a nice table without her.  “I’m really sorry, Aunt Harriett.”  And she was.  She was sorry she’d compared what she was going through to anything her aunt had experienced.  She could see the hurt in her aunt’s eyes, and she knew she’d done everything she could to prevent her headstrong niece from marrying a man who wouldn’t be good for her.  It had been her own doing, at least in Harriett’s eyes.

Harriett nodded abruptly.  “Sit down and have lunch with me, Rose.”

Rose took her seat, and they prayed together.  When they were finished, Rose carefully changed the topic. “How are you feeling?”

Harriett smiled slightly at the reference to her pregnancy.  “Much better.  The first trimester is over, so I’m no longer feeling nauseated all the time.  Soon, I’ll be as big as a watermelon again.”

They both laughed slightly at the comment.  When Harriett had been close to her time with Simon, Iris had gotten extremely angry with her.  She’d gone up to Harriett and crooked her finger so Harriett would bend down to listen to her, and she’d demanded to know why Harriett hadn’t shared the watermelon.  “You know I love watermelons,” the little girl had insisted.

Harriett had shaken her head, not understanding.  “Of course, but what makes you think I didn’t share a watermelon?”

Iris had gestured to her belly.  “You not only ate a watermelon, but you must have swallowed it whole!”

They’d all laughed at the little girl’s outrage.  Harriett had been big enough that she had looked like she must have swallowed a watermelon
, so she hadn’t taken offense.

Rose looked at Harriett again, her eyes wide.  “What am I going to do, Aunt Harriett?”

Harriett shrugged and shook her head.  “You’re going to be married to a man who doesn’t love you yet, and you’re going to hope that someday he learns to love you.  You chose the path you’re on, and you’ll have to live with it.”

Rose looked down at the food on her plate, pushing it around with her fork, suddenly not at all hungry.  “You don’t think I should leave?”

“I don’t think any woman should leave her husband unless he is hurting her.  I think the fact that you’re even thinking about it shows you have a whole lot of growing up to do.  I’m so glad you didn’t marry at sixteen like you wanted.  You’d already have children now, and still be struggling to figure out how to grow up.  That wouldn’t have been good for you or your child.”

Rose nodded.  “I guess you’re right.  I can’t run away from my problems my whole life.  It’s time I face them for a change.”  She sighed heavily.  “I sure wish I’d listened to you and Papa instead of deciding I knew what was best for myself.”

“I do too.  I tried to warn you, but you had your heart set on marrying your dentist.  Now you’re married to him, it’s time to make the best of it.  Be the best wife you can be, and maybe he’ll fall in love with you.  Many marriages begin without love.  It’s what happens after the wedding that builds the foundation for your life together.”

*****

It started drizzling while Rose was on her way to her mother’s house, but having grown up in Seattle, she didn’t mind the rain.  A light drizzle actually felt good on a warm summer day. 

She thought about what Harriett had said on the way, and knew she was going to make one last effort with her mother, but she was pretty sure she was just going to have to make things work out with Shawn, which meant moving back into his bedroom from the room she’d spent the last two nights in and doing her best to be a good wife.  He wanted children, and children wouldn’t come if she slept in another room. 

She’d enjoyed their one time together, other than the fight that had come after, of course.  But if she was careful not to tell him she loved him again, she wouldn’t expect the words in return, and that would keep them from having another fight like that one.

She knocked on the door of her old house, feeling odd not just going in, but knowing it was the polite thing to do.  When Iris opened the door, she looked at her as if she hadn’t seen her in months, and Rose prepared herself for the warm welcome she knew was coming.

Iris opened the door wide.  “I thought you were married and we didn’t have to see you anymore.”  She turned and walked away. 

Rose stared after her younger sister in shock.  What had that been about?
  She wasn’t even happy to see her?  Did her family like having her gone?

She wandered through the house looking for her mother and found her sitting in the parlor with Amaryllis on the floor
, sprawled out reading a book as usual.  She stepped over her sister as she took a seat on the sofa beside her mother, who was carefully untangling a mess someone had made with her embroidery.  She idly wondered which sister had done it, but didn’t ask.

Finally
, her mother looked up and smiled at her.  “Oh, you’ve come for tea.”  It was obvious by her tone she’d forgotten she’d invited Rose.

“You did ask me,” Rose pointed out, heartbroken.
  Did no one care for her anymore?

“I know I did.”  She put down the embroidery, and nudged Amaryllis with her foot.  “Go and ask for tea and cookies
, please.”

Amaryllis finished her paragraph and marked her page carefully.  “We’re not going to start acting like Rose is special company
, are we?  I mean, she is our sister.”

“Amaryllis.  The tea?”

Amaryllis sighed and got to her feet.  “Tea.  Fine.  I’ll get the stupid tea.”  She stalked from the room, obviously annoyed to be asked to put her book down.

Mary turned to Rose.  “How’s married life?”

At her mother’s question, Rose broke into tears.  She knew her life wasn’t as bad as Aunt Harriett’s had been, and she really had no room for complaint, but she still hated how things had turned out for her.  “He doesn’t love me!”

Mary put her arms around her daughter and held her close.  It was what Fred had been afraid of, but Mary felt like it was what Rose needed to grow up a bit and realize she wasn’t the center of everyone’s universe.  “What happened?”

Rose sniffled.  “Well, I told him I loved him, and he didn’t respond.  So I prompted him, and he still didn’t respond.  Finally, I asked him point blank if he loved me, and he said he didn’t.”  The tears rolled down her cheeks as she explained her plight.  “I’ve had so many boys say they love me over the years that I kind of thought they all loved me, and there was no way one wouldn’t love me, but Shawn says he likes me, and he just needed a wife and there aren’t many women in the area, so he married me.”  Rose said it all without taking a breath, needing to get the words out.

Mary nodded.  “I think we all saw that coming
, except you.”

Rose stared at her mother in shock.  “You knew he didn’t love me?”

“Yes, I did.  But you were determined he was the only man for you.”  Mary shrugged.  “Life isn’t always going to be exactly what you think it’ll be.  Your father tried to warn you, and you were sure you knew best.”

Rose sighed.  “I know.  I feel like such an idiot.  How could I have married a man who cared nothing for me?  I’m just someone to bear his children and keep his bed warm at night.”

“That may be true.  For now.  You have the opportunity to work for his love.  You can be the best wife a man has ever had.  You can shower him with love, and maybe someday, he’ll return that love.  If not, you’ll have learned a very painful life lesson.”

Rose nodded.  “I can’t believe all of you let me marry him knowing he didn’t love me.  Couldn’t you see how much it would hurt me to realize that?”

“Yes, we could, but you didn’t want to listen to us.  Are you ready to listen to my advice now?”

“Yes, Mama.”  Her voice sounded defeated even to her own ears.  “I’ll listen.”
  Rose was certain her mother’s advice would be just like Aunt Harriett’s.  No one was going to let her leave him.

“Go home and be waiting for him when he comes home from work.  Do little things to make his life more comfortable.  Rub his shoulders at the end of the day.  With his job, he’ll be on his feet a lot.  Rub his feet.  Have hot water baths ready and waiting for him when he arrives home.  Do the little things that a wife should do to make herself so invaluable to her husband that he won’t be able to remember what life was like before he married her.  Work for his love.  It’s time you had to work for something.”  Mary gave Rose a stern look.  “By the time I was your age, I already had you and Lily.  My parents didn’t think I should marry your father.  They wanted me to marry a man whose farm was adjacent to theirs, thinking they could increase the amount of money they made that way.  I married the man I loved, and I’ve never regretted it for one minute.”

Rose sighed.  “I’ll try.  I’ve never done all those things for anyone before.  Men have always done things for me.”  Her voice sounded defeated even to her own ears.  She knew no one was going to save her from herself.

“Yes, they have, and it’s spoiled you rotten.  It’s time you had to work for a man’s love.  Just be kind and loving, and eventually your love will be returned.  I know it will.”

The tea tray came in then, and Mary poured out a cup for each of them, and they both took cookies from the plate in the middle of the tray.  “Do you think I can get him to love me, Mama?  Really?”

Mary nodded.  “I think you can do anything you set your mind to.  You chose a man who didn’t fall at your feet, and I think you’ll be happy in the end.  You just need to get used to the fact that he doesn’t worship you like the other young men of Seattle did.  I honestly don’t think you’d have been happy with any of the other young men, though.  You would have gotten bored with them too quickly.  Shawn will be a challenge to you.”

“I should have married Steven Johnson.”