Room to Breathe (11 page)

Chapter 16

I go into the gigantic closet again to see that indeed all my clothing from earlier today has been put away. I could really get used to having so much done for me. I thumb through the clothing hanging up until I find the dress Eric mentioned. I go to the shoe rack to grab the simple black pumps that Miranda had suggested to go with it. There are all the boxes of shoes I expected as well as one extra right in the middle that I don’t remember. I take the dress and extra shoe box to the bed and lay them down. The box is for a pair of Louboutins and I am sure I didn’t get any today. That is the kind of thing I would remember.

I open the box and gasp. Inside is a beautiful pair of red patent leather stilettos with little spikes on them. They look like sex in a box and maybe the hottest thing I have ever seen. There is also a little note.

It is from Miranda and says:

I saw these and just knew you had to have them. Good luck and I hope these help! Your new friend, Miranda

I select a sheer black bra and cheeky panty set that is trimmed in lace. If this doesn’t get a reaction from him nothing will. I take a quick shower and fix my hair in loose waves. I add a little bit more makeup than I normally wear. The shoes fit perfectly. A quick look in the mirror lets me know I have achieved what I set out for. I am just debating whether or not to go down when there is a knock on my door. I am surprised to see Claire and Brad standing there.

“Wow, Cora those shoes are amazing!” Claire exclaims at once.

“Thank you. They are pretty great, huh?”

“We are just headed down stairs are you ready?” Brad asks with his toothpaste commercial worthy smile.

“Yep, let’s go.” I close the door behind me. Walking in heels this high and narrow down stairs should be an Olympic sport. Thankfully I make it to the bottom without falling.

We start to walk towards the parlor just as we see Eric coming out with Lucinda and Dean. Lucinda gives me an icy stare and Dean isn’t much warmer. His piercing blue eyes seem focused on Claire.

Eric, however, has just the reaction I was hoping for. He stops in his tracks and looks me over a few times. I can feel the heat of his eyes roaming my body taking in the red shoes and form fitting dress. His eyes reach mine and then smiles at me. “Nice shoes,” he comments as he places his hand on my back steering me to the dining room.

“Thank you. I told you Miranda was good at her job,” I answer softly.

“I really am going to have to give her a raise,” he says with his eyes twinkling.

Dinner passes with peacefully with shared stories of growing up from everyone except Lucinda. I try a few times to talk to Dean. All I am able to get out of him is that he is from Georgia and that he has never been to Oregon. He did seem a little interested when I mentioned that my brother just took over a cattle ranch in Montana that had been owned by my grandfather. Apparently, he had been to Montana once and liked it a lot but I lost him after that. I am not sure why he seems to have decided he doesn’t like me.

Brad doesn’t mention his family more than to tell stories of growing up in London but with a summer house in the country. I get the feeling that his family had money but lost it.

Claire is from Surrey and is an orphan. She was raised by her grandmother who died a few years ago.

“When my nan died I didn’t really know what I was going to do. I sort of fell into some bad habits. Then a friend of mine introduced me to Eric,” Claire says smiling down the table at Eric.

“How long ago was that?” I ask slightly uncomfortable with their closeness.

“Just over two years now. I am really lucky. I am not sure where I would be now if Eric hadn’t helped me,” she answers with obvious gratitude in her voice. Eric is in a deep conversation with Dean and seems unaware he is the topic of conversation.

“Eric said you had just finished your schooling. What is it you want to do?” I ask.

“I want to be a lingerie designer,” she says smiling. Her positive attitude is so contagious. “I love that something so small can make such a big difference. Plus, it is just pretty.”

“You have a point,” I say smiling back at her. “I love pretty things but I couldn’t ever design my own.”

Lucinda doesn’t say a word. Not a single word about anything or anyone. She makes slight eyes at me when I take a small piece of cake but catches herself quickly. She doesn’t look at me for the rest of the meal.

After dinner every one else goes into the parlor for after dinner drinks. I had enough wine with dinner and really don’t want to sit through more small talk. I excuse myself and head up stairs.

Once I am in my room I slip out of my dress leaving on my new heels. Within a moment there is soft knock on the door and it immediately opens. Eric walks in and closes the door behind him. Then he stops looking me over again.

“Dear, God,” he sighs.

“What? Can I help you with something?” I say as I turn my back on him walk away from him and towards the bed. I know these cheeky panties will drive him crazy.

“Honey, I can think of about ten things you can help me with.” He says as he reaches me just as I reach the bed. He pulls my back against his body by my hips. I can feel his hardness through his slacks.

“Well I think I can feel at least one thing I would like to help you with.” I giggle as he spins me around to face him. He kisses me roughly and crushes me to him. I meet his kiss with equal furor.

He grabs my hips and places me up on the bed. I move to take my shoes off.

“No leave them on,” he says pulling my panties off and tossing them aside.

“I am glad you like them. I have been hoping for this reaction since I put them on.” I rake my gaze over him as he makes quick work of his clothes.

“Honey, trust me when I tell you that if I am not fucking you, I am thinking about fucking you. I have wanted to be inside you every minute of every day since the first night I met you. I just feel like I can’t get enough of you.”

I pull him to me and kiss him like it is our last kiss ever. I hope he means what he says because I don’t think I can ever get enough of him either. I love the way my skin feels against his body. When he releases me I slide further up onto the bed. I roll over and pretend I am going to crawl away from him on all fours.

“Get that beautiful bottom back here,” he says bringing his palm down on my naked cheek. I yelp in surprise as he grabs my hips and pulls me closer to him. I giggle a little. “Oh, so that is funny? Sounds like you need a proper spanking.”

“That might help teach me a lesson,” I say coyly over my shoulder. He walks over to the vanity in my room and picks up my hairbrush. He doesn’t need to tell me to stay still. He takes the smooth side of the brush and gently runs it over each side of my ass. The silky touch causes me to shiver slightly.

“Do you like that?” He asks and I silently nod in agreement. He pops each half of my bottom quickly and I yelp again. “How about that?”

“Yes, I love that.”

“That is good because I want to do it some more.”

“Please,” I say in an almost whisper. He brings the large flat side of the brush down on my stinging cheeks a handful of more times. It is driving me crazy and making me squirm. I can feel the heat rising across my backside and I know my skin must be pink from his attentions. Eric grabs my hair at the base of my skull pulling slightly tipping my head back. He leans and kisses me passionately. I can feel his massive erection brush against me driving me insane with need.

“I need you, now,” I plead.

“You are so perfect,” he says running his hand down the length of my back until he reaches my still hot bottom. He is standing squarely behind me as I feel the tip of his cock push against my folds. He slides his tip up and down from my core to my throbbing clit. Just when I think I am about to completely lose it he pushes all the way into me. “Honey, I don’t want this to be soft or gentle, is that okay?”

I love him a little more for asking. “Eric, please fuck me hard.”

With my request he begins to move in and out me fast. He slams against my body rocking me in time with his rhythm. My body is on fire with desire. He punctuates a thrust with another firm swat on my ass with his hand. I clench down around him instinctively.

“Oh, fuck,” he moans softly. He grabs ahold of my hair again and pulls slightly. His other hand smacks my ass once more before he reaches under me. His fingers find my clit and begin working it in time with his thrusts.

I quickly begin to shudder all over as Eric’s touch sends me over the edge. My entire body is trembling and my arms feel weak. He continues to move inside me, pushing against my quivering core and working my clit. I am not sure I can bare it much longer as I start to come down.

“Eric,” I say in more of a moan than anything. Before I can say anything more my insides ignite once more. My desire builds and explodes fast and hard. I cry out but I am not even sure what comes out of my mouth. My body is pure electricity as I he slams into me hard once more and unloads inside me. He grips my hips, forcing my body impossibly tight against him as the waves of sensation begin to ebb.

After a moment, he slips out of me and crawls up on to the bed. He pulls me over and wraps his arms and legs around me. We are completely entwined. I gently kick off my shoes and let them fall to the floor. I cringe for just a moment when I remember that they are my new Louboutins. Then Eric squeezes me a little tighter and I couldn’t care about anything else in the world.

Chapter 17

I head downstairs for dinner on my own. Even though I have been here for almost a week now I completely forgot to dress for dinner until Claire knocked on my door. We don’t dress up too much but the yoga pants I was in are definitely not acceptable.

I reach the dining room just as everyone is headed in. I walk right over to Eric who gives me a small kiss on the cheek. I am a little disappointed that is the extent of it since I haven’t seen him all day.

I am sure he is just drained from the amount he has been working the past two days. It is strange being in the same house as someone and not really seeing them. I am not sure what he has been doing but he has been really busy with it. I didn’t see him at all after dinner last night or the night before.

I take what has become my usual seat between Eric and Claire. She is even bubblier and happier than ever. The match making event is in one week and it is pretty much all she will talk about.

“There are now five possible matches for me,” she starts as she stabs at her salad. “I really like two of them a lot. I have a ton in common with one and the other one is just really nice. They are all good looking too.”

“That’s great! I am really glad you are excited,” I respond like it isn’t the hundredth time she has told me. She has been so nice to me though. Yesterday I learned that we have the same taste in television. Then we spent last night staying up late getting caught up on the shows she had recorded. It was really nice to feel like a normal girl for a night.

“I love my dress too! It is the same shade of green as my eyes. I wanted it to be short but for this kind of event it really should be long. I just realized, you never told me what your dress looks like,” Claire says in one breath.

“It is a surprise,” I say winking at her. I love my dress and I really want it to drop Eric’s jaw.

“What about you Lucinda?” Claire asks drawing Lucinda’s attention for the first time since seating down at the table.

“You’ll see. It is really fabulous and tailored perfectly to me. So I will have to keep watching my carbs,” she replies smiling slightly at me before turning to speak softly to Brad. I know of at least two women coming to meet him but I realize that I don’t know of anyone coming to meet Lucinda.

We have been avoiding each other. When we are forced to speak it has been as little as possible. I have no idea what Eric said to her but tonight was the most she has looked at me all week. Not that I am complaining. I really just wish she would leave.

“Well I am sure as long as you don’t speak to anyone you will look lovely,” I say with a sappy smile. I don’t like people that try to bully me. Lucinda shoots daggers with her eyes at me. Before she can respond Eric takes my hand and squeezes slightly.

“That is enough,” he says looking at me in a hushed but firm tone.
What the hell? Now he is sticking up for her?

I don’t really say much through the rest of the dinner. Claire does enough talking so that I don’t think anyone even noticed. I glanced at Lucinda a few times when I felt her gaze on me. Each time she had her usual icy stare that gives me shivers.

After dinner we head into the parlor for drinks and conversation. Claire and Brad are playing their new favorite game. They ask me things about America or what we call something then laugh hysterically. Even though Dean is the other American in the house he stays away from any conversation about America. I am really starting to think he doesn’t like me very much at all. I am almost positive he is the reason I haven’t seen Eric much lately.

“I don’t know what is funnier; that you call something a bathroom when there is no bath in it or the way you say ‘bath’,” Brad chuckles.

“That is alright. I don’t think I will ever get used to saying ‘loo’ and ‘toilet’ is just too visual,” I chuckle back at him.

We have only been in the parlor a few minutes when Eric comes over to where I am sitting with Brad and Claire.

“I just wanted to say good night to everyone,” he says as he leans down to kiss my cheek.

“Are you going to bed already?” I ask, hurt that he doesn’t seem to be taking me with him.

“Oh, no. Not for a while I am afraid. I have a lot of work to do still. Speaking of which, Claire, I will need to speak with you and Lucinda before you turn in for the night please. Can you both come see me together? Have a good night honey.” He kisses my lips quickly and heads out the door.

“It is the event this weekend, you know. There are a lot of things to coordinate and a lot of legal things to take in to account,” Claire attempts to help me feel better.

“Oh, I know. Really it isn’t a big deal. It isn’t like he is my boyfriend or anything like that. He can do whatever he pleases.” I smile back at her.

I stretch my neck and rub my temple slightly. I have been feeling tense for the past few days. It is like Eric is a drug my body got used to having and is now going through withdrawals. My head has been hurting and my whole body feels stiff no matter how much yoga I do. If someone just said ‘boo’ to me at this point it would send me into a full panic attack.

“You know you really should take a swim. A few laps always make me feel better,” Lucinda chimes in from across the room.

“Isn’t the pool outside? It’s January,” I turn in my chair to acknowledge her.

“Yes, but there is an infinity pool off the gym. I am not surprised you didn’t know it is there since you clearly don’t spend a lot of time in the gym.” She is clearly feeling bolder since Eric left. Although I am pretty sure I saw her eyes dart to the door a few times.

“Yes, well I have been finding other ways to burn off a few calories lately,” I reply with a sweet smile.

“Hmm, well it doesn’t look like that will be happening tonight,” She smiles a fake sweet smile back. I really hate this woman and I don’t usually hate anyone.

“I think I am going to turn in. Eric had some financial planning stuff he wants me to read first anyways. Good night.” I am about half way up the stairs when I hear Brad and Dean headed for the staircase. I reach my room ahead of them and close the door behind me.

I feel antsy and I know there is no way I can relax now. As much as I hate to admit it, a swim does sound really nice. I guess even a total bitch can have a good idea once in a while.

I find my pink swimsuit rather easily. I grab a white cotton cover up and pair of sandals before heading downstairs. When I reach the bottom of the stairs I see Eric’s office light on. His door is open just a few inches. I know he was meeting with Lucinda and Claire but he must be done with them by now. Maybe I can entice him to take swim with me. Nothing relaxes me like he can.

I reach his office and pause just before opening the door. I hear voices but they are muffled. I peak through the gap and almost pass out. Eric is sitting there in his office chair, wearing his shirt from dinner. It is unbuttoned a little and the sleeves are rolled up. Standing next him, leaning over him is Lucinda. Her hands are working to unbutton his shirt the rest of the way and her mouth is on his. More disturbing than that is that Claire is on her knees in front of him unfastening his belt and pants.

I can’t be seeing what I am seeing. This cannot be happening. My worst enemy and my only friend with the man I am in love with. I can’t stay here anymore. I have to leave and I have to leave now!

I run to the front door and down the steps. I pause, turning to the bushes next to the door, and wretch twice. The air is cold and welcoming. It eases my stomach. I want to put as much space between me and that room as possible. I just run unsure of where I am headed.

As I reach the rose garden I trip on a lose paving stone. I am flung forward and catch myself on a stone bench. I try to stand again but can’t. All the strength has gone from my body. I collapse on the ground and rest my forehead against the cool stone of the path.

I take a deep breath and erupt into sobs. I cry with complete abandon, unconcerned who can hear or if anyone even knows I am out in the garden. As the tears cascade down my cheeks the ache in my chest grows. I am lost in my grief. The only thing that seems real is the pain spreading through my body. I can feel my panic attack building greater than I have felt before. I won’t fight it this time. I just want to give in to the blackness coming over me.

I have never felt this kind of devastation before. I feel like a stupid idealistic child. I love him with my whole heart and I really believed I was special to him. I realize now I will always be just another charge, another young girl for him to charm.

I don’t see how I will ever be able to go back into that house. I want nothing more in this moment than to go home, but I don’t have a home to go to. The realization that I am all alone makes my sobs escalate to near hysteria. I have lost track of how long I have been lying here. I no longer even feel cold though I know I must be.

Thankfully I start to slip out of consciousness I am vaguely aware of someone calling my name in the distance. I am too weak to answer. I don’t care if anyone ever finds me. I must have slipped out again because it seems in the span of a blink the calling is right near me.

“She is over here, on the ground,” the voice yells to someone. Several pairs of feet rush to my side.

I hear someone ask me if I am hurt. I try to respond that I hurt everywhere. That I feel as though my heart has broken into a million pieces of glass spreading to my limbs. My words come out as just a soft moan. I hate that my body is so weak. I just want to pick myself up and keep running.

There are arms around me, lifting me off the ground. My limbs feel heavy and my body feels bruised. I put my head on the shoulder of the figure that lifted me. The warmth of the embrace feels welcoming to my skin, making me aware of just how cold I am. I breathe deep taking in the masculine scent of my savior. He smells warm, spicy, and comforting. Suddenly, I realize I know the smell all too well. I am in the arms of the one person I dread the most. I struggle against his arms, trying desperately to free myself.

“No, no, no,” I beg as I push against his chest.

“Honey, it is okay,” Eric sooths. “Let me just get you inside. You are frozen and we need to warm you up.” He must think I am struggling because I am delirious. I start to cry again frustrated with my helplessness.

The lights from the front entry feel painfully bright to my closed eyes. He carries me into the parlor and I think Dean covers me with a blanket.

“The doctor should be here in just a moment. He said he was leaving right away,” Dean says sounding concerned. I am so grateful to hear an American voice. “I also sent for some tea.”

I lay still and silent with my eyes closed under the warm blanket. I try to open my eyes but my eyelids won’t budge. I just keep wishing they would all go away.

As my body warms I began to feel pains from lying on the uneven ground for too long. I do my best to block out the voices around me. Not one of them can say anything that I want to hear.

I catch Claire’s voice asking someone something and feel sick to my stomach again. Mercifully, the local doctor enters the room causing everyone to go quiet. He looks me over for a few moments.

“How long did you say she was outside?” The doctor asks checking my blood pressure.

“We aren’t sure,” Dean answers. I am so grateful it is him that is talking. The doctor lifts my eyelids and shines a light in my eyes. I think he is asking me few questions. I try to answer him but I am having trouble making sense and I keep fading out.

“Yes, she has had panic attacks since she was fifteen,” I hear Eric tell the doctor.

“It appears that she has had a rather bad episode. Something must have triggered a severe ‘flight or fight’ reaction in her. Has she been threatened by anyone?” The doctor asks.

“I don’t think so. Everyone was accounted for when she went missing,” Eric replies.

“Okay, well she needs rest. I will give her an injection that will help her sleep for a while and then I will be back in the morning to give her another dose. It is important that she get as much sleep as possible,” the doctor says as I feel a tiny prick in my arm.

I want to resist and scream that I do not want to be in this house for another second, but I can’t summon the strength to say anything. All I manage is to shake my head no a few times. Slowly my mind becomes fuzzy and I welcome the oblivion, praying my sleep will be dreamless.