River of Mercy (5 page)

Relief warred with anxiety as Emma watched Gideon Kanagy pull his wagon to the side of the road and jump down, starting toward her. Stranded as she was, relief won. She wasn't sure what it was about Gideon that flustered her so and made her feel like an awkward schoolgirl, but at the moment she couldn't help but be glad to see him. Everybody knew that Gideon Kanagy could fix just about anything, and she wasn't so proud that she wouldn't be glad for his help.

He smiled as he came toward her, his coat collar hiked up against the cold. “Emma? Looks as if you're having a little trouble.”

Emma nodded, avoiding his gaze as she pointed to the buggy's right front wheel. “I don't know exactly what happened. I hit something pretty hard and skidded into the ditch.”

His smile faded. “Are you all right?”

Emma waved off his question.
“Ja,
I'm fine. It was just a bump.”

She watched as he appraised the buggy and then went to soothe Sugar, the chestnut-colored mare, who was growing more and more agitated.

“We need to unhitch her,” he said. “I'll tether her to that maple tree for a bit.”

After seeing to the horse, he came back and, going down on one knee, took a closer look at the wheel.

“It's not that bad,” he said, straightening. “Just bent a little. I can fix it, but I need to get into town first, before the stores close. I've got to pick up some things for Mamm and Doc Sebastian. I'd better take you home for now and fix the wheel on my way back.”

Emma fumbled for a reply. “Oh…that's not necessary. It's not that far. I'll just walk.”

He frowned. “I don't think you want to do that, Emma,” he said. “You're a good mile away from home, and this wind is pretty cold.”

What to say? She couldn't let Gideon Kanagy take her home! Her
dat
would have a stroke. To be seen at all with a rebel like Gideon, much less to be caught riding in his wagon with him, would taint her reputation and maybe even mark her to be as wild as Gideon himself.

“Oh, but I'm…I'm used to walking in the cold,” she stammered. “It doesn't bother me.”

His mouth twitched, and the glint that flickered in his eye made Emma feel as though he knew the reason for her discomfort—and was enjoying it.

“Well, Emma,” he said, his tone dry, “it would bother me. Why, my mamm would never let me hear the end of it if she found out I'd let you walk home in weather like this when I had a perfectly good wagon. Come on now and get in. I'll let you out a little ways from your house so you won't be disgraced.”

So he
did
know!

Emma felt heat stain her face. “Oh, it's not that…”

She stopped, realizing that in her unwillingness to hurt his feelings she had come close to lying. Truth be told, it was exactly that. She was loath to be seen with Gideon because of his reputation among the People.

And yet she liked him, had always liked him. And what had he done so bad anyway, to deserve the malicious rumors spread about him? True, he'd prolonged his
rumspringa
and hadn't joined the church and was living among the
Englisch.
But from all she knew of Gideon, he was a good son, helpful to his widowed mother and his sisters, hardworking, and kind to the younger children and old people in the community. He wasn't under the
Bann
despite his no longer living Amish.

When they were younger and Gideon still lived among them, she'd had a terrible crush on him. She had daydreamed—fanciful as it might have been—that one day he would actually court her and even ask her to marry him. Now, of course, she didn't dare let herself imagine such foolishness. Not with Gideon living
Englisch.
Even so, if she were to be completely honest with herself, she still felt a strong attraction to him. Sometimes, before she could rein in her imagination, she would catch herself wishing he would come back to the community, that he would realize she was no longer Joe Knepp's little sister but was all grown up and of courting age.

Then she would realize the treacherous path her thoughts had taken and quickly yank them back to a safer place. Even if Gideon were to return to the People and the Amish way of life, he wouldn't be likely to be interested in her.

Once while she was in town, she had seen him with the fancy
Englisch
girl everyone said was his girlfriend. She was strikingly pretty and had made him laugh long and loud. She must be exceptionally bright and clever, to charm Gideon Kanagy in such a way. Why would he ever look twice at a Plain girl like herself?

She hated the rumors and unkind stories that followed him around like an angry swarm of bees. And he was right—it was too cold to be walking around outside for any length of time. Besides, he had offered to drop her off before reaching her house, so why not let him take her home?
Dat
would never need to know.

She bit her lip. What was she thinking, even considering the idea of hiding something from her father just so she could get out of the cold? Was that all there was to it? Or was the idea of sitting next to Gideon Kanagy in his wagon so tempting that she would actually deceive her father to indulge herself?

Emma decided she could never enjoy the experience if she were to resort to shading the truth. “All right then,” she finally said. “I mean…I'll take you up on your offer.” She hesitated for just a moment. “But you don't need to let me out before we get there. You can take me all the way home.”

He lifted one eyebrow. “You sure about that, Emma?”

Without meeting his gaze, she nodded, but even as Gideon helped her up onto the wagon bench, Emma knew her words were stronger than her backbone.

Gideon found himself enjoying Emma's company. Truth be told, it was a downright pleasant experience, her riding along beside him on the wagon bench, talking to him as though she wasn't afraid of being tarnished by his supposedly unacceptable lifestyle.

Not only that, but he discovered a quick mind and a substance to her thoughts that he wouldn't have figured her for. But then, what exactly
would
he have expected from her? Emma wasn't a little girl any longer, and he hardly knew her.

Now, in talking with her, he learned that she helped her
dat
keep the books for the farm and small dairy business that had been in the Knepp family for years. He even detected a surprising interest in events outside the Plain community.

He did know she wasn't hard on the eyes. The small dimple that creased with every smile intrigued him more than it should have. For that matter, when he managed to coax one of her smiles, he felt as if he'd accomplished something pretty special.

Just her luck.
Dat
was standing in front of the house when they pulled up, his sturdy arms crossed over his chest. By the time Gideon came around and handed her down from the wagon, her father had made his way to the road.

“You're late, daughter,” he said, his voice gruff and laced with unmistakable irritation. “And what's the meaning of this?” He jerked his head toward the wagon. “Where is our buggy?”

His eyes were hard as he looked from her to Gideon.

“I'm sorry I'm so late,
Dat,
but the buggy broke down. The wheel bent and slid into a ditch, and—”

She held her breath as Gideon broke in.

“I told Emma I'd fix the wheel, Levi, but it was too cold to let her wait while I worked on it. I insisted on bringing her home.”

When her father made no reply but merely kept his stony glare fixed on him, Gideon added, “I'll bring your buggy back yet today.”

Levi Knepp's mouth turned down even more. “You needn't bother with the wheel. I'll send one of the boys to take care of it.”

Gideon's expression didn't waver. “I don't mind, Levi. It shouldn't take all that long.”

“My sons and I will see to the buggy. You've done enough by bringing my daughter home.”

Emma felt shamed by her
dat's
sharp tone and distasteful stare. Couldn't he at least acknowledge that Gideon had done her a kindness?

She turned her face away from both of them, unwilling to let her father see how angry she was with him and unwilling to look upon Gideon's almost certain humiliation.

But Gideon's response surprised her. He seemed to ignore the censure in her father's attitude. “I hope it was all right…my giving Emma a ride home. Things being what they are, it isn't safe for a young woman to be walking alone.”

Emma drew in a long breath. Who could hear those words without remembering what had happened to Phoebe Esch only weeks ago?

Right on the heels of that thought came another: Gideon had called her a
young woman!
Was it possible he'd finally realized she was grown and no longer the child he remembered?

Unfortunately,
Dat
seemed unmoved by Gideon's words. “There are many dangers to our women in these troubled times. Their protection is the responsibility of their families and close friends.”

Emma had to bite her tongue to keep from pointing out that families and close friends had failed to save Phoebe Esch's life and that families and close friends weren't always nearby when danger lurked. She kept her silence, knowing that any defiance on her part would only provoke her father and probably make things worse for Gideon.

She glanced quickly from one man to the other. Gideon's jaw tightened while her
dat's
eyes remained hard and wintry. Neither uttered another word, and after a moment Gideon's eyes met hers with a look that was both knowing and gentle. Then he turned back toward the wagon and walked away.

Emma could have wept at the unfairness of it all. Finally, Gideon had taken notice of her, had treated her with attention and what seemed to be genuine interest—and her father had spoiled everything by acting as if Gideon had committed some forbidden act against her.

She sighed and started toward the house. One thing for certain:
Dat
wouldn't have to worry about Gideon Kanagy paying her any mind in the future.

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