River of Mercy (30 page)

Gant continued to study him long and hard, but Doc didn't so much as flinch.

“Do you know something I don't?” Gant finally said.

“Absolutely not.”

Weary to the point of exhaustion, Gant thought to placate his friend so he could collapse in a nearby chair and lick his wounds. “All right, I hear you. I'll pray.”

Doc searched his face, his expression skeptical.

“My hand on it,” Gant assured him.

Finally, Doc seemed to accept his words. With a small nod, he turned toward the front of the shop. “I need to go. I've several errands to see to. No doubt you've a busy morning ahead as well.”

Gant followed him, waited while he donned his coat, and saw him to the door.

“I'll stay in touch,” said his friend.

“Have a care,” Gant replied, closing and locking the door behind him.

He stood, looking about at his surroundings for a moment before heading toward the back room. He was in no mind or mood to open for business, but Asa was with the fugitives and Gideon was going to be later than usual, so eventually he'd have to unlock the door and face the day.

But not yet.

David Sebastian drove away with a heavy spirit, knowing he had left his friend with a sick heart if not a broken one.

He hoped he hadn't said too much. In no way did he want to create even a glimmer of false hope that somehow, by some miracle, this present situation might change. From all appearances and based on everything he had learned about the Amish before and after his conversion, there would be no change.

Tradition was tradition, and rules were rules. The way they had always done things was the way they would continue to do things.

Or would they? The unforeseen change he had sensed moving through the community like an unsettling wind during the past few weeks—it wasn't the way they had always done things. He couldn't help but wonder where all this was going and what it would lead to.

His heart ached for Gant and for Rachel. His friend's stricken expression when he learned about Samuel Beiler had said it all. The man was distraught. And Rachel—the poor girl had nearly fainted when the selection was announced the day before. Why, she had turned absolutely ashen.

Those two truly loved each other, of that he had no doubt. This latest event must have had all the effect of a barred door closing on whatever hope they'd held. Perhaps he was simply too much of a romantic, but he thought it more likely that his fondness for both young people was at the heart of his distress for them. He could scarcely imagine the pain that must be tearing at them during this time.

Despite his own anguish for the two, however, he had to believe that God had His best will for both of them in mind. Somehow, He would bind up their wounds and give them a future, even if that future didn't include their sharing a life together. There was no limit to what the Creator could accomplish for His children.

If only he could help Rachel and Gant believe that.

Still numb and somewhat dazed by the events of yesterday, Rachel stood staring out her kitchen window. The day was bleak, entirely overcast with the gray dullness of an Ohio winter. Like her heart.

The announcement still seemed like a bad dream, like one of the many she'd had after Eli's death. She would wake up, for a moment almost relieved when it occurred to her that it
had
been a dream and everything was all right now. Then the realization that nothing was right, that the bad dream was real and would go on day after day, year after year, would pummel her in the stomach, leaving her weak and sick for the rest of the night and next day.

That's how she felt at this moment. Throughout the morning, she had drifted from room to room, slugging through her work, steeped in the same weakness and the feelings of helplessness that had overtaken her when she'd first learned that Samuel had been chosen as the new bishop.

Oh, she had tried not to hope, tried not to dream about being with Jeremiah. Every time the thought stole its way into her mind that a new bishop might actually make a difference, might reverse Bishop Graber's refusal to let Jeremiah convert, she would quickly attempt to suppress the bud of hope that began to open deep inside her. She never allowed herself to forget that things might not change, even under a new bishop.

Still, there had been that faint glimmer of possibility.

Now even that was gone. With Samuel as bishop, she was most likely relegated to widowhood for the rest of her years. And she could have accepted that, had Jeremiah Gant not come into her life. If she hadn't fallen in love with the one man she could never marry.

There was something else, something pressing on her apart from the finality of never being free to love and marry Jeremiah. Samuel himself. Did his new position of authority mean he would be even more relentless in his determination to convince her to marry him? Would he press her even more persistently? Was it possible that, as bishop, he could demand that she marry him?

A surge of revulsion rose in her. She couldn't. She could never be a wife to Samuel Beiler. She couldn't bear to even think about the possibility. Instead, she resolved to busy herself with her remaining chores for the day. It was midafternoon already, and she still had much to do. In addition to filling the lamps and bringing in more firewood, she badly needed to put the finishing touches on three birdhouses.

She had fallen behind on her orders. Since the vandalizing, she had all but lost her incentive to even go into the workroom. It was so painful to remember the damage and disarray she had found there that awful night when someone had broken into her house.

But she had orders waiting to be filled, and many were intended as Christmas gifts. She hated to disappoint those who were counting on her, so she really did need to overcome her reluctance to work. Besides, she knew the only way she would ever rid herself of the sick dismay this experience had foisted on her was to face it square on and return to her work. She must stay busy. The Amish had always recognized the reality that trust in God, work, and time enabled one to walk through grief without being crushed by it.

Rachel had lived through grief before and recognized it for what it was. She had survived it then, and God willing, she would survive it again.

But oh, how she dreaded the process.

29

What greater thing is there for human souls than to feel that they are joined for life…to be with each other in silent unspeakable memories?

G
EORGE
E
LIOT

T
he note was delivered shortly after dark by a boy Gant had never seen before. But he recognized Turner's handwriting all right, so he took the message to the barn right away.

He found Asa putting a swatch of horsehair on the pony he'd whittled for the little girl, Tabitha, while she was ill. As soon as he looked up and saw Gant standing near the door, he handed the doll back to the child, hauled himself to his feet, and walked over to the door.

“You need to go tonight,” Gant said without preface. “Between eleven and midnight. Is everything ready?”

The other nodded. “Everything and everybody. They've been waiting a long time for this.”

“I know. It's been hard on them.” A thought struck Gant. “The girl, Tabitha…she's able to travel now? And Silas?”

“Tabitha is still weak and a little wobbly in the legs, but she'll be all right to travel. And Silas is itching to leave. I think he's going to be surprised when he figures out he's not as strong as he thinks he is yet, but he's got gumption, that one. He'll do.”

“Have you talked to him?”

Asa looked at him and shook his head. “There's been no good time so far.”

“You'd best get it done,” Gant said bluntly. “He should know before you get on the road.”

Asa sighed. “I suppose so.”

“You worried about how he'll react?”

“A little maybe.”

“He's young enough. I should think he'd be glad to know he has family.”

“That's just the thing. He doesn't know me. I'm not family as far as he's concerned. I'm a stranger.”

Gant studied him. “You're going to be on the road together. You won't be a stranger for long. In fact, this trip should be good for you both. Give you a chance to get to know each other. That's why you ought to talk to him before you leave. So he'll know who you are.” Gant stopped and then added, “And so you can quit fretting about it.”

Asa gave another nod. “No doubt you're right.”

“Sometimes I am.” Gant left him then so he could get the deed over with.