I got up and started to head to Emmy’s office in the back of the diner, but I decided to throw one last parting shot his way before I left. Turning to him again, I called out, “And don’t call me
sugar
anymore!” Then, I just walked away.
I found myself standing on a pedestal in front of a three-way mirror with my mouth hanging open in horror. I was covered from neck to knee in the most hideous excuse of a dress I’d ever seen. I looked like I’d just stepped out of a 1980s prom. The only things missing were the crimped hair and foot-high bangs. And the worst part was that the dress was
fuchsia
!
“Uh…Emmy? Remember what I said on the phone?”
“Yup,” she responded, looking at herself in equal horror.
“I’m gonna do it!” I replied.
Stacia looked up from her seat at the foot of our pedestals. “Do what?” she asked innocently.
I took a step toward her and answered, “Bitch-slap you. Come here.”
Stacia jumped back just as I was about to get her.
Lucky for her, Emmy was faster and held me back. “Just slow down, Savvy. I’m sure she meant for these dresses to be a joke.”
Stacia looked at me, then Emmy, and then turned to Lizzy, who appeared to be frozen in horror in front of the mirror. “What? I think they’re pretty.”
“These aren’t pretty, Stacia!” Lizzy yelled. “I look like the Kool-Aid Man blew chunks on me!”
I turned back to Stacia and planted my hands firmly on my hips. “If you make me wear this, I will ruin your wedding. I swear to God, I will get shit-faced and sing “Welcome to the Jungle” in an Axl voice while doing the running man on top of the bar during your first dance as a married couple!”
Stacia mimicked my stance and narrowed her eyes. “You wouldn’t.”
“I’ll show the pictures,” I whispered menacingly.
“What pictures?” she asked in confusion.
“
The
pictures.”
Emmy gasped behind me.
“What? What is she talking about?” Lizzy asked.
Stacia’s eyes widened in understanding. “You promised.”
“What pictures?” Lizzy asked.
Stacia and I were in a standoff.
“Pick these dresses, and I’ll do it. You know I will.”
“
What pictures
?” Lizzy hollered.
After about ten more seconds of staring each other down, Stacia finally threw her hands up in defeat. “Fine!” she huffed. “Y’all can pick your own damn dresses.” She threw herself down in a wingback chair, crossed her arms over her chest, and began to pout while Emmy and I fist bumped in victory.
“Will someone please tell me what friggin’ pictures y’all are talking about?”
Emmy began telling the story of what had happened back in high school that led to me holding on to pictures to use as blackmail so many years later.
“Lizzy, remember that summer when your parents made you stay with your aunt and uncle in Boise because they thought we were bad influences, and they wanted to get you away from us?”
Lizzy looked up at the ceiling, trying to pull the memory back. “Yeah, I remember. That was the same year Savannah and I were suspended for two weeks because we super glued Bobby Mulroney to his desk in homeroom and drew dicks all over his face, right?”
“Little shit deserved it,” I mumbled under my breath. “He told the whole school Stacia was a cock tease because she wouldn’t put out after winter formal.”
“Nooo,” Stacia piped up. “He told everyone I gave lousy head, so he hadn’t bothered with screwing me.”
“That’s right. I totally forgot. That peckerhead!”
“You junk-punched him a few times for good measure too,” Stacia added.
“Anyway…” Emmy cut in. “The three of us decided to meet the guys over at The Ropes to go swimming.”
The Ropes was a place at the creek where some kids had decided to tie a bunch of ropes to the trees along the embankment, so they could swing into the water ten feet below. Cloverleaf wasn’t exactly known for being a town that had bred intelligence, so The Ropes was the best name people could come up with.
“Stacia decided to ride with me, and since my backseat was nonexistent, Savannah took her own car. We were about to turn onto Miller Road when Stacia thought it would be funny to stand out of my sunroof and flash Savannah since she was behind us.”
Lizzy looked over at me. “So what? You took pictures of her boobs?”
I started to laugh hysterically as I remembered back to that day.
Ah, good times.
Emmy continued, “No, it wasn’t just that she got pictures of Stacia’s boobs. Stacia got stuck because of the visor on the sunroof, and she couldn’t get back in. Then, her bikini top got knotted up in her hair, so she couldn’t get it back on.”
“Well, if you had stopped driving, there wouldn’t have been a problem!” Stacia exclaimed loudly.
Tears streamed down my cheeks as I laughed harder than I had in months, and Emmy was laughing so hard that she was having trouble continuing.
“Stacia was screaming and flailing around, trying to get back inside the car, and I was laughing so damn hard that I about peed myself. We just so happened to turn onto Miller Road where a trooper had set up a speed trap. When he saw Stacia and her jiggly bits hanging out my roof, he pulled us over. She was still stuck the whole time he was writing us tickets—her for public indecency and me for reckless driving. Savannah was parked behind us, taking pictures.”
I pulled my shit together long enough to add on, “My favorites are the ones when he was greasing you down with Armor All and trying to shove you back through.”
Lizzy started to laugh so hard that she was snorting. “I have
got
to see these pictures…pretty please?”
I pulled out my cell and started scrolling through. “No problem. Got ’em right here. I transfer them every time I get a new phone.”
“I hate you bitches,” Stacia grumbled. “You’re all officially out of my wedding.”
I played Savannah’s words over and over in my head all day long, and the more they ran through, the madder I got. I wasn’t choosing anybody over anybody—or at least I wasn’t trying to. I was just trying to move on with my life. I’d spent so long trying to get Savannah to see that we belonged together, but there was only so much rejection a man could take and still maintain his pride.
I was so busy stewing over my conversation with Savannah that I wasn’t paying attention to what I was doing. My hand slipped off the wrench I was using to change the alternator on Bob Carlson’s Camry, and I sliced my palm right open.
“Son of a bitch!”
“Bad day?” I heard from behind me.
I turned to see my best friend, Luke Allen, standing in the bay door of my garage with a smart-ass smirk on his face.
“That obvious?” I asked as I walked inside to clean my hand.
Luke followed behind me silently as I washed up and reached under the sink for the first-aid kit. I rubbed on some antibacterial cream and slapped a bandage over my palm.
“You wanna talk about it?” he finally asked.
“You wanna get all girlie and start talking about our feelings and shit?” I replied sarcastically.
Luke let out a lighthearted chuckle. “Well, last I checked, I hadn’t grown a vagina, so I’d prefer to skip the cryin’ and huggin’ part of the conversation, if it’s all the same to you.”
“So noted.”
The humor quickly died from his face, and he contemplatively stared at me. “But I do know that some serious shit is brewin’ in that head of yours. You’ve been outta sorts for a while now, brother. I just wanted to make sure you were solid.”
I made my way over to my office and threw myself down in the chair. Running my uninjured hand through my hair, I let out a deep breath. “Christ, I don’t know, man. Shit is so tangled right now that I couldn’t tell you up from down if my life depended on it.”
Luke took a seat across from me and propped his feet up on my desk. “This got anything to do with Savannah?” he asked casually.
I threw my head back and studied the ceiling. “Yeah, man—Savannah and Charlotte. I don’t know why those two can’t just get along, but their animosity toward each other is really starting to become a pain in my ass. Savannah actually laid into me today, accusing me of choosing Charlotte at the sake of our friendship. Can you believe that shit?”
He sat there with a pensive look on his face, like he was thinking about how to answer me. “Well, brother, I can’t say it’s been lost on me—the looks Charlotte gives Savannah when they’re in the same room with each other.”
That comment threw me for a loop. I could sense Charlotte’s attitude change when they were in the same room, but I’d had no clue that it was so bad that my other friends were picking up on it.
“What the hell am I supposed to do? I’ve got Charlotte on my ass all the damn time, riding me about being so close to Savvy. But it’s not like I can just stop talking to Savannah, you know? Past relationship aside, she’s my best friend. I can’t just cut her out of my life because Charlotte is insecure. I don’t
want
to cut Savvy out.”
“Looks like you’ve got yourself a real dilemma,” was all he said.
“You know, if that’s all you’ve got to say, then you can head on out. Stating the obvious isn’t doing jack to help me.”
Luke threw up his hands in surrender and let out a loud laugh. “All right, man, all right. I just like givin’ you a hard time.”
“I’m having a hard enough time already. I don’t need you to add to it.”
Luke rubbed his chin, dropped his feet to the ground, and rested his elbows on his knees. “You love Charlotte?” he asked.
I didn’t even bother speaking my answer. I just shook my head back and forth.
“Then, why go through all this?”
And that was the question wasn’t it? Why was I subjecting myself to all this misery if I knew Charlotte and I weren’t going to make the long haul? “I don’t know, Luke. I’ve been asking myself the same questions lately.”
“Look, I’m not claiming to be an expert on relationships here, but I will tell you that if you can’t picture spending the rest of your life with this chick, maybe it’s time to cut your losses.”
“Is that why you came back for Emmy?” I asked.
“Hell yeah, man!” Luke exclaimed. “I don’t have a life without that woman in it. My suggestion—find a woman you feel like that about and hold on to her for the rest of your life.”
Luke knew what he was talking about in matters like that. Years ago, he’d walked away from Emmy after just one night. He’d left a ton of destruction in his wake that he wasn’t aware of until he’d moved back to Cloverleaf, but after trying to live without her for eight years, he had finally sucked it up and come crawling back. It had taken more work than most men would have been willing to put in, but he’d finally gained back her trust, and eventually, he’d fixed their relationship. I’d never seen two people more crazy about each other than Luke and Emmy.
The only problem with his suggestion was that the one woman I couldn’t picture living without had ended our relationship a long time ago, and she wouldn’t take me back even though she knew we were perfect for each other.
“If Savannah is it for you, then you need to do everything in your power to make her see that.”