Resolution (Saviour) (31 page)

“
Naa… Put a hoodie or something on darl, you’re not going out in just that top.”

“
I’m fine, it’s not cold out, I’ll throw my hoodie in the car just in case.”

“
I’m not worried about the weather Lauren, I just don’t want to be knocking blokes out every five minutes for looking at your tits, either change into a bigger T-shirt or put a hoodie on.”

I feel my bottom lip start to tremble
. He turned me down for sex, my jeans are getting tight and now he’s saying my top is too small. I swallow back my tears.

“
Do you think I look fat?”

“
What? Fuck no, you look hot baby. Your arse looks gorgeous in those jeans but your tits in that T-shirt are too much, they look huge, if it was just you and me in here it would be fine but blokes will look and I’m not having it Lauren, cover them up, for me, please.”

He walks over and gives me a cuddle
. “Please stop with all this insecure bullshit, you look hot, smoking hot and I don’t want anyone else copping an eyeful of my tits.”

He bends his knees so we are at eyelevel and kisses my
nose.

“
Your tits?” I ask.

“
Yes. My tits. Well mine and my babies, we don’t share. Now, get a hoodie on or I will go and get one for you.”

I go into the walk in and
find the biggest, baggiest hoodie I can and pull it over my head. It’s one of his and comes down to my knees and there are at least six inches to spare on the sleeves, I look like a bag lady, well serves him right, people won’t be looking at my tits now, they will just be looking at what a mess I am, I grab a hoodie of my own. The smallest, tightest one I have and step out from the wardrobe.

“
Perfect.” He says. “Let’s go.”

“
Tossa.” I mumble under my breath and I swear I see his shoulders shake with laughter as I follow him down the stairs.

We are keeping it simple tonight and entertaining
outside; it’s not really warm enough for a barbie but Gabe has had some of his blokes over the past few weeks, inspired by what we did up at the Palmers with their pool house, he has had built a fully enclosed alfresco area where the Tiki hut was down by the pool, in the space of a few days we now have a fully fitted kitchen area, with a built in barbie, a toilet and shower and enough room for the pool table, dart board, some new outdoor furniture and the outdoor dining set; The front of the room looks out over the pool, with timber bifolds to either let in the sun or keep out the cold, there are also patio heaters hard wired into the walls and pointing down from various points, basically it’s now an all-weather area and looks great and that’s where we will be doing our entertaining tonight…

We take my car and go to the wholesale butchers and pick up steaks and chops, then onto the fishmongers and pick up prawns and salmon; we then drive over to pick up Ava
. Gabe’s hand has been at his jaw, rubbing on his stubble with his thumb and index finger for the last ten minutes, I know he is getting more and more stressed the closer we get to Nina’s house and it really pisses me off that she has this effect on him. I prize his hand from his jaw and take it in mine.

“
You okay?”

“
I’m good, why?”

“
You’re rubbing your jaw, you do that when you’re stressed or thinking.”

He looks at me with such a boyish smile that my heart melts
.  “Do I?”

“
You do. Why are you smiling?”

“
Because I love it that you’ve noticed that I do that, it made my heart speed up when you said it.”

“
I seriously want to shag you when you say things like that.”

“
Lauren, jeez, spoil the moment why don’t ya, I was ready to have a d and m with you and your mind is once again firmly in the gutter. You really are a nympho.”

He brings my hand to his mouth and kisses my palm
.

“
Don’t ever change, I love that you want me so much.”

“
Well make the most of it lover. Coz when dem babies get here I ain’t gonna have time for none a dat shit.” I put on my best ghetto voice. Which I’ve gotta say is pretty good.

“
That’s a terrible accent Lauren. We will make time for sex, no matter what.”

He parks the car, undoes his seat belt and leans over to kiss me
.

“
Babies or not. I cannot keep my hands off of you and nothing will ever change that. You coming in with me?”

I never say yes, I always wait in the car but not today, now that I know how much Nina despises me, I hate the thought of Gabe being in her company without me
. I nod and undo my seatbelt.

“
Thought you might” He says with a smile.

“
What does that mean?”

“
Nothing. Get out.”

I sli
de out the car and pull my hoodie off; I removed his oversized one before I even got into the car earlier, pissed off that my act of defiance had been completely ignored by him.

“
No, tell me what you meant. You said that you thought that I would get out of the car. Why did you think that?”

He laughs as he comes around the car and pulls me to him
.

“
Because you are my green eyed little red head who goes off like a fire cracker and I just knew you wouldn’t want me going in and seeing Nina on my own.”

“
Hark at you, making me dress like the Amish today before I was allowed to leave the house.”

He shrugs his shoulders and kisses me full on the mouth
. “Just protecting my assets baby.”

“
Errrrm, think you’ll find they’re my assets Baby.”

“
Actually Baby, I think you will find they are our babies’ breakfast, lunch and dinner.”

He kisses me again
. “I love you.”

“
I love you too. Now let’s go and face your ice queen ex Mrs.”

We head up the drive and Gabe knocks at the front door
and pulls me into his side just as Nina swings the door open and instantly glares at me.

“
You’re early.”

“
Yeah, we err, we have a lot to do, we have people coming over tonight for a bit of a gathering and some tucker.”

She looks from me to Gabe and then back to me
. “You better come in and wait.”

We walk through a bland hallway to a bland kitchen as Nina calls up the stairs for Ava to hurry up. The
only warm thing about this home is the evidence that children live here, a highchair in the corner next to a toy box and finger paintings on the fridge. Gabe has hold of my hand, or do I have hold of his? Either way, we both have sweaty palms.

“
House is quiet. Where are the kids?” Gabe asks, attempting to make polite conversation.

“
Deans taken them to the park for a bit, to give me a break, he’s good like that, hands on, helps at meal times, baths them, and puts them to bed.”

She simply stands with her hands in the back pockets of her jeans and stares at Gabe, obviously waiting for him to rise to the little dig she has just made about his lack of parenting skills
. Gabe’s a great Dad to Ava, given the circumstances, and will be an even better Dad to our babies. There is so much I want to say to her, but I bite my tongue, I will have my moment but not yet, we have agreed to tell no one else about the pregnancy until after we have the CVS test done and the results back, which will be when I’m around twelve or thirteen weeks pregnant. I give Gabe’s hand a squeeze.

“
You’re lucky Nina. Must be really nice to have someone so hands on and helpful as the father of your children.” I smile at her sweetly.

She looks at me blankly, then tilts her head back, looking me up and down
. “Have you put on weight Lauren?”

Bitch!!!

“I have yeah, I lost so much while I was in the hospital, Gabe has spent the last few days trying to fatten me up.”

I look her long skinny frame up and down
. “It goes on easy when you’re happy and content, and I’m both of those things right now so expect a few more kilos the next time you see me.”

I can feel Gabe holding his breath next to me but before there is any fall out, hurricane Ava flies into the room
. She flings herself at me.

“
Lauren, hi. Did you show her? Did you show her the ring we chose?”

Oh shit
. I look at Gabe, who’s looking at Nina, his mouth is moving but nothing is coming out.

“
No, not yet Ava.”

We asked Ava not to tell her
Mum about our engagement until we could, which Gabe was going to do Monday when he dropped her back off. Oh well, here goes. I look across to Gabe to give him one more chance before I take over explaining; he catches my stare and seems to find his voice.

“
Our gathering tonight is to celebrate mine and Lauren’s engagement. The reason we were late getting Ava back on Thursday was because she came with us to choose an engagement ring.”

Ava has taken hold of my hand as she realises she’s put her foot in it, I give it a reassuring squeeze
. I hate the way she intimidates my big strong fearless man with her threats to stop him having access to his daughter and I hate even more that right at this moment Ava is well aware of the tension between her parents; I know it’s not really my business but I’m going to suggest that he sees a solicitor in the week and gets something drawn up legally, I actually can’t believe he hasn’t done it before now with the amount of times she has pulled the custody card.

“
You are fucking kidding me right? My daughter is attending your engagement party tonight and you took her with you to buy the ring. You bought HER a ring?”

“
Mum.”

“
Shut up Ava, you lying, deceitful, little girl. Get upstairs to your room, you’re going nowhere with these two.”

My stomach churns with frustration, there is so much I want to say to this nasty, spiteful shrew
; I swallow down my words as Ava squeezes my hand tighter and turns towards her Dad. Please don’t let her down Gabe. Please.

“
Ava, will you and Sophie get your bags and go and wait in the car please”

I can actually feel the rush of air leave Ava at the same time as I release the breath I was holding
.

“
Ava, you fucking dare go out to that car.”

“
Don’t speak to her like that. Go and get in the car Ava now.”

The girls leave quietly and I watch as Gabe glares at Nina; I take a step towards him and withou
t even taking his eyes from her, he reaches out for my hand, and rightly or wrongly, I feel a little surge of triumph by his actions. He’s shaking and breathing a little too fast, he pulls me slightly behind him and I kiss his shoulder. He takes a deep breath.

“
Nina, I really don’t want to blue with you over this, but you really need to get your head around the fact that Lauren and I are together and we are staying together, next to Ava, she’s the most important thing in my life, as soon as her divorce comes through, we will get married and like Lauren told you at the hospital, Ava will be part of our wedding and will remain part of our lives, she’s not trying to take your place but she will continue building on the relationship they already have. I know you don’t like it but I am over the fucking moon that the two women I love most in the world get on so well, Ava is lucky to have Lauren in her life, you should be grateful that Lauren loves Ava the way that she does and I really don’t see what your issue is. You and me have been over for a long, long time and in all honesty, there never really was a you and me, we didn’t know each other or really have a relationship back then and apart from the fact that we share a daughter, that’s pretty much the way it is now. You’re married to Dean now Nina, you have two children together and I have never, ever interfered in your relationship with him so why you are behaving like this and being like this towards Lauren is beyond me, but I will tell you this now, so listen good. Ava is and will remain part of my life, if you make any more threats to stop me seeing her, I will go to court for full access and I will go back on our original arrangement and take this house back, I don’t want to make threats like that but I am fucking over you and your attitude. Are we clear?”

Nina looks from me to him and then, strangely down at my engagement ring
.

“
You bought her a ring” It’s a statement, not a question.

“
Yes, I bought her a ring.”

Her? I do have a name… and helloooo, I’m standing right here. I bite my lip and manage not to say the words out loud
.

“
You never bought me a ring.”