Release Me (The Music Within Book 2) (19 page)

Mal
didn’t make Cade work for it. He wanted as much sucking and fucking time as
they could fit in before they went to the farm the next day. They took turns
being inside the other and giving blowjobs. Cade groaned the loudest when Mal
ran his whiskers up the inside of Cade’s thighs before sucking his cock down
his throat. Mal had remembered to not shave, and the friction from his jaw left
Cade’s skin red. They made use of the table and the sofa, as well as the shower
and Jacuzzi tub. Just before the sun came up, both men finally gave in and fell
asleep tangled around each other.

Mal
woke before Cade did, and he smiled at the big man lying across his body,
snoring softly into Mal’s neck. His ass was sore, and the room smelled like
sex. The best part for Mal about the whole night was when he fucked Cade face
to face. Cade’s expression when he was coming was a beautiful sight. Fucking
from behind was intense, and he could get at his lover harder and stroke
longer. But when Cade was on his back, the intensity was on a whole different
level.

Cade
had reserved the room for the whole weekend. Even though they were going to the
farm, he made Mal promise to come back with him on Sunday and spend the day
with him alone. If they were only going to see each other once a month, Cade
wanted to spend as much of that time naked as possible, and Mal didn’t disagree
with him. They showered separately so they would actually leave the hotel room.
Cade left his rental car in the underground parking garage and rode with Mal in
his new truck back to Arlo.

“Damn,
Cowboy, is your truck big enough?” Cade barked out a laugh when he caught sight
of the dually sitting in the parking lot across the street from the hotel. Mal
grinned at his reaction. “How did you park this thing?” Cade asked.

“I’m
good at gettin’ big things in tight spaces,” Mal deadpanned. Cade laughed again
and grabbed Mal around the neck.

“Yes,
you are.” He kissed him square on the mouth before they climbed into the front
seat.

Mal
was at ease being with Cade. He was thoroughly sated from the sex they shared,
and if this was what their future looked like, he could handle it. He hated
having to sneak around for sex, but if his momma and Walt continued their
relationship, it was possible they might eventually move in together. That
wouldn’t hurt Mal’s feelings at all. Then Cade could skip getting a hotel and
could spend the night in Mal’s bed. He wasn’t worried about anyone talking
about them, but that didn’t mean it wouldn’t happen. If and when it did, he’d
deal with the fallout then. For now, he would take it a day at a time like he’d
been doing.

When
they’d gone a few miles, Mal tuned the radio to a rock station so Cade would
enjoy the ride more. After a few minutes, Cade asked, “Do you enjoy listening
to rock?”

Mal
shrugged. “The older stuff is good, and I like some of the new stuff. I just
can’t get into the screamin’. Why?”

“All
your t-shirts are from rock bands, and you mostly listen to country when we’re
together.”

Mal
didn’t want to admit that he bought his clothes for cheap at the Goodwill, so
he said, “I like cool t-shirts.” That much was true, even if he did get them
for less than three dollars each. His excuse must have appeased Cade, because
he let the topic go and sang to the radio for the rest of the ride back.

When
they got to the farm, Cade put his bag in the house while Mal fixed a lunch to
take with them. They didn’t waste any time heading out so that Mal could show
Cade all the changes. They looked around the barn at the repairs that had been
made before loading up on the four wheelers and riding over the thousand acres.
Eventually, they ended up at the pond, and that’s where they took their lunch
break. Mal had packed sandwiches and bottled water for their meal. He
unstrapped a quilt from the utility rack on his ATV and spread it out over the
newly cut grass around the pond. He and Cade sat side by side, eating their
lunch. Every now and then a fish would jump and the water would ripple. “I
never did ask you if you like to fish,” Mal said, breaking the silence.

“I
never have. It’s not that I never had the opportunity. When I was young,
several families would get together at the lake during the summer for cookouts.
I guess I was a little like your brother in that I was too rambunctious to sit
still long enough to catch anything. I would rather be running around chasing a
ball.”

“What
about high school? Did you play sports?”

Cade
shook his head. “No. By that time I was too invested in my music. I played in
the marching band until I figured out I wanted to drum for a living. Then I
spent all my spare time behind a kit. I would listen to the radio and teach
myself how to mimic the drummers I heard.”

“You
never had lessons?” Mal shouldn’t be surprised, but he was.

“Not
drum lessons. I took piano first, and when I got the hang of it, I asked for a
guitar. Instead, my mother bought me a violin. Said it was classier. Whatever.”

“Can
you play the violin?” Mal loved the sound of a fiddle.

Cade
laughed. “Well enough. But I conned my dad into buying me an acoustic guitar
and promised to only play it when my mom was gone.”

“How
old were you?”

“I
don’t know, twelve? I fell in love with drums my freshman year in high school
and haven’t looked back.”

Mal
loved talking about Cade’s past. It gave him some insight to the man he was falling
for. He knew he should guard his heart closer, but every time they talked or
were together, it was harder to do. The way Cade touched him softly… the way
his face lit up with a smile at something Mal said… the intensity on his face
when they were making love… all these things were breaking down the barrier Mal
had put in place when his father tried to kill him. They finished their
sandwiches and got back on the four wheelers. After a while, they finally
parked the vehicles back in the barn and headed inside to wash up. Mal mixed up
a meatloaf and popped it in the oven. While it was cooking, he and Cade sat on
the front porch swing.

Cade
talked about the band and told Mal about their individual personalities. He
explained about what happened with the former drummer. Mal asked how an album
got made, and Cade explained the process, from writing the lyrics and music, to
laying down the tracks, and everything in between. Mal expected Cade to be more
enthusiastic when talking about it, but maybe it was like any other job. There
were the good parts and the not so good parts. Maybe the good parts for Cade
were the touring and playing live, and the not so good parts were the writing
and recording.

“I
have some news,” Mal said during a lull in the conversation. “Someone has
offered to buy the bar.”

“Wow,
that’s great, Mal.” Cade pulled Mal’s hand to his mouth and kissed his
knuckles. “Now we can start our phone sex even earlier,” he teased, wiggling
his eyebrows.

Mal
laughed at his goofy lover and nudged him with his shoulder. “I know I should
feel happy about it…”

“But?”

Mal
closed his eyes and leaned his head against Cade’s shoulder. “I feel like a
failure.”

“Babe,
you did the best you could with what you had. Listen to me,” Cade lifted Mal’s
chin so he was looking at Cade when he spoke. “I have no doubt your bar would
be the most successful bar in all of Kentucky if it was all you had to tend to.
You’ve been dealt a shitty hand, and you’ve still managed to stay in the game.
Don’t sell yourself short. I think it’s a blessing. Now you can focus all your
energy on the farm and on our late night sexcapades.”

           
Cade always saw the best in Mal. Knew the right words to say to make him feel
better. And he knew how to make him laugh. “You’re right. I know you are, but
still…”

           
“I kind of know how you feel. When 7’s Mistress broke up, I blamed myself. I
just knew it was all my fault because of the shit I pulled trying to break up
Tag and Erik. Maybe I was partly to blame, but now that I’ve had time to think
on it, I’m pretty sure it was all in the timing. The older I get, the more
strongly I believe in the notion that everything happens for a reason. We broke
up because it was time. Time for Tag to be a father to Delilah and a husband to
Erik. Time for Sloane and Pauly to reconnect with their kids. Time for Echo to
take a break from the hustle and bustle of managing a major rock band. Time for
me to grow up. You selling the bar is all about timing, too. It’s time to let
go of the one thing that holds you down so you can focus on the other thing
that will build you up. I honestly think you bringing the family farm back to
life is going to be good for you.”

Mal
leaned in closer to his number one supporter and let his words sink in.
You’re
the thing that builds me up, Rock Star.

Cade

The
rest of the weekend went by quickly. Too quickly. Cade was learning more and
more about the man he was falling for with each passing minute. What surprised
him most was how interested he was in the farm and what it took to keep it
going. Cade thought all it took was turning some cows out into a pasture and
feeding and watering them. As he listened to Mal and Walt talk over supper, he
realized there was so much more to it, and he was thrilled that Mal was the one
running things. Granted, Cade wouldn’t have bought a farm if it hadn’t been for
the cowboy, but now that he had, he wanted the best man looking out for his
investment, and Mal was it.

When
Cade was young, he was only around families like his. Once he and the guys from
7’s Mistress started living together, he learned about different family
dynamics. Being around Mal, Suzette, and Walt was teaching him another dynamic
he hadn’t been introduced to. Unconditional love. He could see the feelings Walt
had for Suzette in the way he looked at her. Cade wondered how long Walt had
been holding out for her. Had he loved her his whole life, and that’s why he
never married someone else? It was also obvious he thought of Mal as a son. His
voice when he praised Mal’s work over the last ten years was filled with pride
as well as longing. Maybe Mal was the son Walt never had.

They
didn’t hide anything from Cade. If there was a problem, they discussed it
together, but they also didn’t ask him for money. They did value his opinion,
but he knew better than to offer money as a solution. The only topic they
didn’t discuss was why Melanie and the girls no longer came around. Cade knew
it had something to do with Neil, but he didn’t ask. If they wanted him to
know, they’d tell him.

Another
thing about them that was surprising was they didn’t go to church. Being so
deep in the Bible Belt, Cade expected there to be scriptures on the wall and
Bibles lying around. He had never been to a church except for a couple of
weddings and one funeral. His parents were more progressive in their spiritual
views, so Cade never felt the need to seek out religion. Sunday morning after
breakfast, Suzette asked Walt to take her for a ride on Cade’s four wheeler.
That brought a smile to Cade’s face, knowing Suzette still had a little life in
her, even after what she had endured at the hands of her husband. That was
another thing he was going to talk to Gerard about – some corporations offered
legal assistance to their employees. He wanted it to be presented to Mal in
such a way that he didn’t suspect Cade’s involvement, and hopefully Mal would
seek out an attorney who would help his mother if she still wanted to sever
ties with Dwight once and for all.

“Can
I ask you something?”

Mal
smacked Cade on the ass as he walked by. “Of course.”

“Do
you and your mom ever go to church?”

Mal
stopped what he was doing and turned to face Cade. “What makes you ask that?”

“From
everything I’ve heard about the South, it’s like church and God are not really
optional.”

“We
used to, before what happened. But when you’re bleedin’ out on the floor of the
barn beggin’ God to stop your Pa from killin’ you, or when your husband is
tryin’ to bash your head in and no help comes, you tend to lose what faith you
had. What about you? Do you go to church?”

Cade
replied, “Music is my religion,” as he stood at the back door watching the
older couple. Walt pulled Cade’s ATV out of the barn, parked it, and held out
his hand for Suzette. She carefully placed her left foot on the peg, hoisting
her right leg over the seat. “Has Walt taken your mom for a ride before now?”
Cade asked Mal, who was now cleaning off the table. Mal didn’t seem worried
about his mother going for a ride.

“Yeah,
she loves it. The first time she rode with him, we were all together. She kept
beggin’ him to go faster, and he finally obliged. I haven’t heard her laugh
that much in… well, ever. There’s a lot you don’t know about my momma. Before
she met Dwight, she was a hellion. Not in a bad way, mind you, but she was
raised around all boy cousins. When one of ‘em got a horse, she wanted a bigger
one. When one of ‘em got a car, she wanted a faster one. My favorite story is
when she got prom queen her senior year in high school. She and Dwight had just
been crowned king and queen when one of the Yoder boys spilled punch all over
her dress. Before anyone could move, Ma had the boy down on the floor punchin’
the daylights out of him because he ruined her dress.”

  Cade
laughed, trying to imagine sweet Suzette, in a fancy dress, straddling some boy
giving him what for. “So your parents were high school sweethearts?”

Mal
shook his head. “Oh, no. Momma couldn’t stand him back then. He was good
lookin’ and didn’t make no bones about lettin’ everyone know it. He was the
star quarterback until he blew out his knee his senior year, but even then, he
thought he was the shit. From the way Ma tells it, he tried all year to get her
to go out with him, but she had eyes for someone else.” Mal began washing the
dishes, leaving Cade hanging.

“And?”
he prodded, stepping up beside his man to rinse and dry.

“She
won’t talk much about it. All she says is the boy left, and Dwight finally wore
her down. About three years after high school, she agreed to marry him.”

The
wheels were turning in Cade’s mind. “Did Walt go to school with them?”

“Yeah.
He was a year ahead of them. When he graduated, he went into the Army and was
sent to Vietnam. He did his four years then came back home to his parents’
farm, where he’s been ever since. And before you ask, yeah, I think Walt is the
boy my momma had eyes for. I don’t know what happened, why she didn’t wait on
him, but I think they’re makin’ up for lost time.”

“I’m
glad she’s finding happiness now,” Cade smiled, thinking of her on the four
wheeler. “Maybe both of you are going to finally get the happiness you
deserve,” he whispered into Mal’s ear.

“Come
on, Rock Star. Let’s get these dishes finished so we can get back to the hotel,
and you can work on that,” Mal rasped. Using a wet, soapy hand, he adjusted the
erection in his jeans.

The
weekend was already over, and Cade was on his way back to California, only on
this trip he was making a pit stop in Texas. Echo had called him as he was
leaving the hotel to let him know Carl’s father had passed away. Carl had been
his bodyguard for the last five years, and over those years, had become a
father figure. Carl wasn’t technically old enough to be his father, but he
looked out for Cade, doing his best to keep him out of trouble. When he called
Reed to let him know he wouldn’t be at practice Monday, Reed offered to come to
the funeral. It warmed Cade’s heart to know he had signed on with a group of
guys who were willing to be there for each other. Cade told him he appreciated
the offer, but it was going to be a small graveside service. He told Reed he’d
be back in LA on Wednesday.

By
the time Cade’s plane touched down, Carl’s mother had passed away, too. It was
one of those love stories you heard about in movies, but never witnessed
firsthand. Until now. Cade couldn’t imagine spending almost seventy years with
the same person, and still being so in love, you literally died from a broken
heart. That’s what happened with Carl’s parents. As soon as his father passed
away, his mom told Carl she wanted to go with her husband. And she did. Now,
Carl was laying both his parents to rest, side by side, at the cemetery.

Seeing
Carl was good for Cade, even if the circumstances were far from ideal. Echo
flew in to bring Cade a suit, as well as to pay her respects. When the service
was over, Cade asked Carl what was next.

“Since
they lived in the nursing home, their house and furnishings were sold years
ago. I’m an only child, so I don’t have anyone squabbling with me over the
little bit of money they had in the bank. Honestly, there’s nothing for me to
do other than sign off on the paperwork at the nursing home saying they can
dispose of the few things left in my parents’ room. I’m ready for a change of
scenery.”

Cade
knew Carl wouldn’t come right out and ask, so he told him, “My home is yours.
We won’t be going out on the road for a while, but you’re welcome to stay with
me until then.”

“I
appreciate it. I could do with some excitement.”

Echo
piped in, “I’m afraid our wild man is growing up, Carl. Cade’s settling down. I
haven’t had to bail him out of jail once, nor have I seen any random pictures
of him in the tabloids lately.”

Even
though Carl’s heart was broken over his parents, he managed a smile for Cade.
“Seriously? I thought you’d be running Echo ragged with your antics. I also
didn’t expect you to get over the break-up this soon.”

“Oh,
I was on a tear for the first three months, but I met someone. He made me want
to keep a low profile.” Cade couldn’t stop the smile when he thought about his
cowboy.

“You’re
seeing someone?” Carl asked.

“I
guess you could say that. It’s complicated, but I really care for him. Neither
one of us are in a place for a relationship, but I do spend as much time with
him as possible, which isn’t much. He’s coming into calving season, so he’s
really busy, and the band is spending more time in the studio, so…”

“Calving
season? As in cows?” Carl didn’t hide his surprise.

Cade
smiled. “Yeah. Got myself a bona fide cowboy.”

Echo
rolled her eyes. “I cannot see you on a horse. You don’t ride horses, do you?”
She cocked her head, obviously trying to envision Cade riding one of the big
animals.

“Hell
no. Those big fuckers scare me. I’ll just stick with my four wheeler.”

“You
have a four wheeler?” Echo and Carl asked at the same time.

“Sure
do. It’s the quickest way to get around the farm. Now, if we’re done talking
about my love life, what do you say we go eat? Carl, you feel up to it? You
okay?”

“I’m
good, actually. Believe it or not, it’s a huge weight off my shoulders with Mom
going at the same time. I don’t want to sound like they were a burden, because
they weren’t. But seeing your parents’ health decline is hard enough. When they
start forgetting who you are, who the other one is, it’s heartbreaking. This
way I know they’re both in a better place.”

Cade
and Echo checked into a hotel after dropping Carl off at his apartment.
Considering he didn’t have anything keeping him in Texas, he was ready to head
to California. The following morning, they had breakfast together and headed to
the airport, where the jet was waiting. Once in Los Angeles, Cade headed to a
late practice while Echo helped Carl get settled in at his house. Cade had
talked to Mal earlier, but he still sent him a quick text letting him know he
was thinking about him. When Cade found himself grinning, he knew he had it bad
for the cowboy. Staying away for a month at a time was hard enough. He didn’t
know how he was going to manage several months when he started touring.