Release Me (The Music Within Book 2) (23 page)

Andy
and Bryan cut their eyes at each other, but Mal ignored them. He was hungry and
wanted to stop thinking about Cade. “Do either of you know where the aspirin
is?” And with that, the subject was changed. Bryan found the aspirin while Andy
heated some biscuits for Mal. The men planned on going fishing, but Mal didn’t
feel like joining them. It would only make him remember his plans for the next
weekend when he was going to make love to Cade by the pond.

Instead,
Mal called Suzette and asked if she wanted to spend the day with him and
Matilda. He missed spending time with his niece, and this would give him an
opportunity to take his momma shopping. He rolled up in front of his sister’s house.
Before he could climb out of the truck, Matilda was bounding down the front
steps. “Uncle Mal!” she yelled as she launched herself at him. He picked her up
and swung her around.

“Hey,
Munchkin. Wanna hang out with me and Gramma today?”

“Can
we gets a milkshake?”

“Of
course we can.” He turned his attention to his sister. “I’ll have her back by
six,” he said and opened the passenger side door. Mal had called Melanie to
make sure they were home, so she already had the car seat ready for him when he
got there. He took the seat from his sister and strapped it into the back. When
it was secure, he lifted his niece into the seat and helped her buckle in.

Neil
was standing inside the house, glaring at Mal through the window. Mal didn’t
bother waving, knowing it would be a waste of energy. “Bye, Momma,” Matilda
shouted from her seat.

“Bye,
Mattie. You be a good girl for Uncle Mal.”

“I
will,” she singsonged.

Mal
did wave at his sister before he was backing out of the driveway. He was turned
around looking backwards and glanced at Matilda. Her face was lit up like he
was taking her to see Santa Claus in the middle of summer. “How you been,
Mattie?”

“Good,
‘cept Daddy yelled at me.”

“Why’d
he do that?” Mal had to keep his cool. It wouldn’t do for him to go back into
the house and give his brother-in-law what for.

“He
stepped on Meggie’s doll. Said I shoulda picked it up.”

“I’m
sorry ‘bout that, Munchkin. He shouldn’t yell at you.”

“’S
okay. We gonna get Gramma ‘fore we gets ice cream?”

“Yep.
She’s at Walt’s. You remember him?”

“Uh
huh. He’s nice. I want him to be my grampa.”

Matilda
hurt his heart in one breath and filled it full in the next. Neither one of
Neil’s parents was in the picture, so the girls didn’t know much about
grandparents. Walt would make a fine grandpa. He prayed his nieces would never
be exposed to the piece of shit sitting in the prison.

He
and Matilda got out of the truck when they got to Walt’s. Mal hadn’t seen his
momma in almost a week, and he was taken aback at how different she looked
already. Happiness was a beautiful look on Suzette. “Gramma! We’re gonna gets
ice cream!” Matilda slowed down when she reached her grandmother’s legs. She
was aware that Suzette had difficulty seeing, and she made sure she never ran
into her.

Mal
caught Walt’s eye and motioned for him to step closer. “Matilda, go inside and
help Gramma find her purse, okay?”

Suzette’s
head snapped up at the tone in Mal’s voice. He wouldn’t talk about Dwight in
front of the little girl, but he would have Walt get her up to speed later.
Once they were out of earshot, Mal told him, “Got word that Dwight’s up for
parole, and he’s likely gonna get it. Also got word that he’s threatenin’ Tyler
and his family. Also got word he’s gonna finish what he started with me.”

Walt
fisted both hands and seethed, “That motherfucker thinks he’s gonna take you or
your momma this time, he’s got another thing coming. Son, you need to arm
yourself. You need to tell that company you work for to set up extra security.
You need to…”

Mal
held up a hand and cut him off. “I got this, Walt. I just wanted you to be
aware in case he finds out Ma’s livin’ here. He’s liable to come after her,
too.”

“I’ll
kill him before I let him get his hands on my wom…” he froze and looked into
Mal’s eyes.

“It’s
okay, Walt. I’m happy for you both. You’re the father Dwight shoulda been.
Mattie’s already claimed you as her grampa, so, welcome to the family,” he
said, grinning.

“I
like that... Grampa,” Walt replied, his smile bigger than Mal’s.

Suzette
and Matilda returned quickly, and Walt followed them to Mal’s truck. Even
though there was a running board under the frame, Mal had bolted a step
underneath so his momma could actually get in the vehicle a little easier. Mal
strapped his niece in and they headed toward town.

Mal
kept the conversation light with Mattie in the truck. He didn’t want to burden
his mother with his troubled love life. She had become attached to Cade, and he
heard the hope in her voice whenever she spoke of him. Not because he had
money, but because he cared for Mal. All she wanted was for him to be happy,
and up until last night, Mal thought Cade was the one. Between songs, he talked
about the calves, and Andy and Bryan, and the horses.

“Uncle
Mal, turn it up!” Mattie squealed when Sugarland’s “Stuck Like Glue” came on
the radio. The kid had trouble pronouncing certain words, but she had no
trouble singing at the top of her lungs. This was her favorite song, so Mal
obliged with the volume. Even his momma sang along. He had never really paid
attention to the lyrics, but some of the words caught in his throat. Of course,
he thought he and Cade would be stuck like glue from now on, but after finding
out Cade had lied, he couldn’t see a future together beyond boss and employee.

“Uncle
Mal, you missed you turn,” Mattie chastised from the back seat. She might be
five years old, but she knew where the Dairy Barn was. Even though she couldn’t
see him clearly, his momma was looking his way.

“Sorry,
I was daydreamin’,” Mal apologized, hoping it would appease them both.

“Is
everything okay?” Suzette asked.

“Fine,
Ma. Everything’s fine,” he lied, praying she wouldn’t call him out on it. He
made a U-turn, and within less than a minute, they were parked in the lot at
the Dairy Barn. He helped his momma climb down from the tall cab before
unbuckling Matilda from her seat. They stepped up to the outside window and
placed their orders. While they were waiting, Suzette grabbed Mal’s arm.

“Son,
whatever it is that’s eating at you, let it go. Life’s too short, and now that
you’ve got a man who loves you, hang on to that, and let the rest go.”

Mal
didn’t answer. How did he tell her that the one she wanted him to hang onto was
also the one he needed to let go?

Cade

Cade
rolled up to the hospital on his Harley. He was much more careful riding it
than he was driving the Ferrari. He was beyond pissed that Mal found out about
the company, but he was even madder that the cowboy refused to talk to him. He
spent all night calling and texting, even though Bryan told him Mal was passed
out. He had to make his man see why he did what he did and why he hid it from
him. Cade didn’t know if he would get the chance to go visit Mal before he had
to start touring. They had practice scheduled for the next two weeks, and then
they were hitting the road. None of the shows on the first half of the schedule
were on the East Coast. That’s why this weekend had been so important. He had
wanted to spend every waking moment and every minute asleep with his cowboy.
Now, he didn’t even know if Mal was still his.

After
cutting the motor, he hung his helmet on the mirror and slung his leg over the
seat. He had to calm the fuck down before he walked into his mother’s room. She
had enough shit on her plate without him adding his troubles to it. By the time
he reached his mother’s room, she was being put in a wheelchair to be released.
“Oh, hello, Kincade,” she greeted him with a little more affection in her voice
than normal. His father was standing by the wheelchair with his hand on her
shoulder. Maybe they got their shit straightened out. Now, if Cade could get
his own mess taken care of, maybe the Anderson family could all be happy.

“Hi,
Mom. They letting you out of here already?” It was hard for Cade to fathom that
only yesterday his mother had suffered a heart attack and she was already being
released.

“Yes,
modern medicine is amazing. Have a heart attack? Slap a stent in, and you’re
good to go. Have a baby? Push that puppy out, and the next day you’re on your
way. When I had you, I was in the hospital for four days.”

“It
is
amazing. So how do you feel?” he asked as the nurse pushed her down
the hall toward the elevator.

“I
feel good, considering. Honestly, I don’t feel any differently than I did
before, except I’m hungry, and they won’t let me have the good food.”

“I’m
sure my Margaret will be more than happy to adjust the menu to include
healthier options.” Cade held his breath after mentioning the cook, but his mom
smiled.

“I’m
sure she will. She’s never been anything but accommodating.”

Cade
glanced at his father who shrugged. Once they reached the front door, Cade
stood with his mom while his father went to get the car. As soon as they had
his mother and her things loaded inside, Cade asked his dad, “How are you
doing?”

“I’m
not sure what you said to her, but whatever it was made a difference. Thank
you, Son.”

“Good.
I want you both to be happy. I’ll meet you at the house.”

Cade
followed his parents and helped his mother get settled. He spent some time
talking to her about the band and the upcoming tour. Even if she didn’t like
rock music, she was still interested in his career. Afterwards, he and his
father sat on the patio smoking cigars and drinking whiskey. “I fucked up,
Dad.” Cade puffed on the expensive stogie. The smoke floated on the air before
dissipating in front of his face.

“Do
you want to talk about it?” his father asked, swirling the amber liquid in his
tumbler.

“Mal
found out I own the company, and now he won’t talk to me.”

“I
would say I’m surprised, but we knew it was a possibility.”

“It
was a fluke, too. When Uncle Gerry called to tell me about Mom, I was in the
shower. Mal looked at the caller I.D. and recognized the number.”

“What
are you going to do?”

“The
only thing I can – give him time. This weekend was the last one I had to spend
with him before we hit the road. Now, it will be months before I can get back
to Kentucky.”

“Maybe
that will give him time to miss you. Absence does make the heart grow fonder.”

“Or
it will give him time to forget about what we have.”

August
attempted to soothe Cade’s mind, but in the end, Cade knew it was all up to
Mal. If his cowboy couldn’t see past the money, they never had a shot anyway.

Cade
spent the rest of the day riding his bike up Highway 101. He stopped in Morro
Bay and gassed up before heading back down the coast. Normally, a long ride
energized Cade, but by the time he pulled in his driveway, he was worn out,
both mentally and physically. His phone was worn out from Cade checking for
missed messages. His heart was worn out from caring so damned much and fearing
the worst.

Before
he settled into his bed for the night, he made one last attempt at contacting
Mal:

This
is it, Cowboy. The last message I’ll send you because my heart can’t take you
not answering. I love you. I bought the farm because you and your mom deserve
it and so much more. I’m sorry I kept the truth from you, but I’m not sorry for
everything else. If you ever decide to forgive me, I’ll be here. I’ll be
waiting, Mal. I finally found true love with you. I promise to be faithful
until the day we meet face to face, and you can look me in the eye and tell me
it’s over. You have my heart. Until you release me, I’m yours.

Cade
waited a few minutes, and when he didn’t receive anything back, he called
Bryan. They had an understanding when it came to Mal. Bryan was there to work
the farm, but more importantly, he and Andy were there to protect Mal.

“Hello.”

“Bryan,
it’s Cade. Can you talk?”

“Yeah,
Mal’s not here. Took his mom and Matilda out for ice cream earlier. He’s
probably still hanging out at Walt’s.”

“I’ve
called Gerard, and he’s going to look into more security. I’ll be going out on
the road soon, and I need you to promise me you’ll take care of Mal.”

“You
have my word, Cade. Not only is he my foreman, but he’s a friend. I like the
guy, and I like working here. For what it’s worth, he’s hurting. He misses you
and he loves you. Give him time.”

“That’s
all I can do at this point. Please, if anything comes up I need to know about,
call me. Unless I’m in the middle of a show or rehearsal, I’ll answer. No
matter what time it is.”

“You
got it. Can’t wait to see your show in Nashville later this year. I can’t
believe I know Cade Anderson.”

“Yeah,
not that exciting is it?” Cade laughed. He didn’t think the everyday Cade was
anything to write home about.

“I
don’t know about that. I bet I’ve seen a side of you a lot of people don’t get
the chance to.”

“You’re
right there, but don’t go letting people know I’m not always the cool rock
star. If you want, I’ll get you backstage passes. That way you can hang out
side stage during the show.”

“Hell
yeah!  Thanks, Cade. And don’t worry about Mal. I’ll take care of him
until you two are back together.”

“Thanks.
I’ll talk to you later.”

“Later.”

Cade
tossed his phone on the nightstand and turned off the lamp. He flipped through
the channels and once again couldn’t find anything that caught his eye. He
stopped on a cooking show and lowered the volume. He closed his eyes and prayed
that Mal would find a way to forgive him eventually. Cade wasn’t going to
entertain the possibility that he wouldn’t. Not yet.

The
Fourth of July came and went, and Cade’s heart shredded a little more not
getting to watch fireworks with Mal. He had so looked forward to it, bringing
Mal out to Cali to watch one of the huge displays on the beach. Instead, he sat
on his balcony, drinking and smoking alone.

The
next two weeks were miserable as the days dragged on for hours. The band
practiced the new songs as well as the older hits they would be playing on the
tour. Cade was comfortable with all the songs, and even added his own touch to
the ones Shawn had helped to write. The band had no trouble with Cade doing his
own thing considering he was one of the best drummers in the world.

He
and Carl started each day with a run and ended the night in the gym. If it
wasn’t for his bodyguard, Cade would probably lose his mind. As it were, he
stayed busy and exhausted himself daily to help keep the heartache at bay. Now
it was time to hit the road, and Cade was glad. He was ready for the music and
the crowds to fill his mind with some type of solace, even if there was nothing
that could fill the fissure in his soul.

Their
first show was at home in the LA Sports Arena. The venue held sixteen thousand
plus fans, and the show was sold out. They all met up at Reed’s house and
traveled together to the stadium in a blacked out SUV. Carl was in the vehicle
in front of theirs along with two more security guards. Another SUV followed
behind, and it contained three bodyguards as well as Afton. Their manager was
just as feisty as Echo, and the men respected the hell out of her. She was good
at her job, and she made their job easier by being organized and efficient.
More than once, Echo had shown up with Afton at rehearsals, but during their
last meeting, she informed him she was headed to Nashville.

What
Echo and Afton had was good, but for Echo it had been a fling. A temporary fix
for her aching libido. Cade refused to compare their situation to his and
Mal’s. Even if things had been good between him and the cowboy before he left,
he didn’t consider what they had a fling. To Cade, it was the kind of love that
came along once in a lifetime. If Mal never took him back, Cade would at least
have known true love for a little while.

The
bands took turns rehearsing, and once that was done, Cade and the guys hung out
in their tour bus until time for them to head to the stage. The opening bands
were ones Cade had toured with before. He was friendly with most of them, but
he couldn’t say he was friends with any one person on the tour. While he was on
the bus waiting, he put on his noise reducing earphones, and tapped his sticks
against his legs. It was a ritual he’d gotten into at the end of 7’s Mistress’s
last tour. He hid away from the sound of Tag’s voice, because at that point, it
had been too painful to even look at his best friend.

Now,
looking back on those last days, he realized what a fool he’d been. Not only
had he ruined his friendship with Tag, but with Pauly and Sloane as well. When
Cade was finally honest about the past, he could look back many years ago and
see when Tag had set him free. Cade had been like a wild animal that, after
held in captivity for so long, refused to step outside of his cage to freedom.
He kept himself inside the four walls where he’d been safe. If Cade had just
stepped outside of his contentment, he would still have his friends. Maybe once
this tour was over, he would look them up and see if he couldn’t salvage at
least some of what they had.

Much
like 7’s Mistress, the guys in Divining the Dark weren’t much on fashion.
Instead of wearing leather pants and no shirt like Tag, Reed wore blue jeans,
one of the opening band’s t-shirts, and biker boots. Logan and Roarke wore
close to the same as Reed, only Logan opted for Doc Martens and Roarke wore
tennis shoes. Over the summer, Cade had started drumming barefoot, so when it
was their turn to take the stage, he kicked off his flip flops and padded out
to his drum kit. One thing DTD had changed with their stage show was they now
played in the round in select venues. Cade’s rotating drum kit made it possible
for him to see everyone at some point during the show.