Regret Me Not (20 page)

"You're the most beautiful woman in the world, Mackenzie Turner. And I'm so lucky I get to spend every day of my life making sure you know that."

The breath I'm holding is released and along with it, the jumbled mess of fear, anxiety and stress in my shoulders. I wonder how he knows that's exactly what I need to hear.

My skin is covered with tiny bumps. I'm not cold, in fact I'm hot, but when his finger tips graze my skin to finish undressing me, my body reacts. I watch him undo his tie and pants, his eyes never leaving mine, and my pulse picks up speed as he climbs in bed next to me.

I feel his mouth on my breast, the nipple clasped between his teeth; my back arches toward him as my fingers grasp his hair. My hunger for him grows with thoughts of having him inside me. He climbs on top, careful to rest his weight on his forearms instead of me.

"Don't ever leave me, Mrs. Turner," he whispers in my ear.

"Never, Brayden. Never again."

His mouth takes over. It possesses mine, and once again he takes me to a place, where only we exist. No problems. No fears. Nothing but the deep-down-soul-binding-connection we feel when we come together. For the moment, no more words are spoken. There's nothing but the fireworks between us as they screech and explode in the sky.

*

When it's over, I lean my head against Brayden's chest. His arm is around me, stroking my shoulder. I know I've tasted a piece of Heaven. I close my eyes, breathing him in, thinking this is how it's going to be from now on. There's no more need to rush into our clothes and pretend it didn't happen. We're free to lie in bed, skin to skin, and hold each other. This new found contentedness makes my stomach flutter.

I sit up and gasp with realization.

"What's wrong?" He shoots up beside me, a worried look on his face.

Without answering I smile and place his hand on my stomach. It's not Brayden or any imaginary butterflies I feel fluttering in my belly, it's our baby.

"Can you feel it?"

It already stopped, but I'm hoping if he keeps his hand there, our little alien will cooperate. I'll remember this moment forever; there will be no mistaking when or where it happened. I take it as a sign of approval. Our little munchkin is as happy as I am that we're now truly a family. I want to jump up and down, this is the first time I feel the baby move. It's the most perfect day of my life, and I can't imagine things getting any better than this.

We stay like this, sitting, talking, with his hand on my belly for some time. I don't know how long, all I know is once he hears my stomach growl, Brayden insists we order room service. Knowing this is the most privacy we'll have for a while, neither of us wants to leave the room or the bed.

*

  Sunlight spills through the window and stirs me. I flutter my eyes open. Stupid sun, why couldn't it stay down? Brayden's knuckles brush my cheek, and I forget I'm annoyed to be up.

"I didn't hog the bed or the covers did I?" he asks.

I realize I'm at the edge. I scoot over so that I'm leaning against him. "I don't know, I was too busy sleeping. Are these habits of yours I should I worry about?"

He shrugs, "I don't know. Last night was a first for me. You just seemed so far away."

I close my eyes and nuzzle into his chest.

"We should get cleaned up and get going."

I moan, "I'd rather stay where we are."

"I know, me too, but we have a lot to do today."

"Like?"

"Like I need to pick some things up from home. At least a few day’s worth of clothes, my laptop, things like that."

"Can you bring a few of your posters, too? I want you to feel at home."

"You're just hoping I bring the one of Tebow."

"Well, duh."

He rolls me onto my back and cages me between him and the bed, "Forget him. You're all mine, Mackenzie Turner, for ever and ever."

Chapter 21

Reality

The bubble of joyful bliss I'm riding on pops minutes after we get home. First we stop at Brayden's parent’s house. The visit is short, but full of tension. I plan on following him in his room and helping, or at least just being with him, but his mother seems to have other plans.

"Please sit." She directs me while pouring me a glass of water.

I don't want to upset her, after all, she's now as much a permanent fixture in my life as Brayden and I realize the relationship will ride much smoother if I appease her. Like a good girl, I take a seat at the kitchen table. I know I have no reason to be, but I'm nervous. We've never really hit it off, and now that I'm her daughter-in-law, I really want her to like me.

"Mackenzie, I know there's still plenty of time, but it's never too early to start planning. Do you have any idea where you want to have the baptism?"

I clear my throat, stalling for time.
Baptism
?  "We haven't spoken about it."

"I understand, and I'm not thinking of a big party, but since the wedding was so rushed, I'd really like to invite our family. I can't tell you how disappointed Brayden's grandparents are. Especially my mother, she practically raised him in those early years."

Anxiety rushes through me as she continues to ramble. While I would love to meet the rest of Brayden's family, I haven't thought about any of this. The upcoming semester at school is weighing on me and how my parents are going to react tonight when Brayden and I sleep in the same bed; how the hell am I supposed to be thinking about something so far away?

"And I know Ursula isn't really popular these days, but it was my grandmother's name, so if you'd at least consider it-"

"Mom!" Brayden scolds. "Back off!"

"Sweetheart, we're just having a friendly discussion. Isn't that right, Mackenzie?"

I nod, afraid to open my mouth and say anything to the contrary.

"You promised you wouldn't interfere."

"I'm not. I'm simply suggesting a name." She turns her attention back to me, "Mackenzie, dear, are you sure you're comfortable with your doctor, perhaps you'd consider going to see mine. If I call him, I'm sure he can get you in right away. Actually, that would be sort of ironic, since he's the doctor that delivered Brayden."

"No, thank you," I answer, as if she just offered me a glass of lemonade. My eyes fall on the suitcase at Brayden's side, and I seriously hope he packed away everything he needs. If not, he'll have to come back by himself. I don't want to have to brave another conversation with his mother for at least a few days.

*

Things aren't any easier when we get back to my house. We're greeted home by shouting coming from the basement.

"No, no, no. You're doing it all wrong!" my father shouts, although I'm not sure who he's shouting at.

"How can I be doing it wrong? I'm sorting nails and screws, I think I know the difference between them," Jessica shouts back.

"I should've known asking you for help would be a waste of time. You're supposed to be sorting the different sizes as well."

"That's not what you told me to do."

Brayden leans into me and keeps his voice low, "Has your father ever built anything before?"

I shrug my shoulders, "Not that I know of."

I read the look on his face, certain it matches what's running through my head.
This is bound to be fun.

"Let's go bring the bags upstairs, then you can empty out a couple of draws for me while I head down to the dungeon."

"I want to come help, too."

Brayden kisses the top of my head, "Not yet. Let me go by myself, I don't want your father to upset you."

"He won't. I can't let you . . ."

He kisses me to shut me up. It works for a minute.

"Stay. Up. Here."

"Since when are you so bossy?" I asked.

"Since I decided to stop letting you call the shots," he winks at me, and with the bags in hand heads up to my room.

*

I look around the room I grew up in. How am I going to share this room with Brayden? My parents sleep right next door; we share a wall. Just thinking of it makes me nervous. I know we're married, but being in this room, I still feel like a little girl. He puts the bag he brought from home on top of the bed and rummages through it for an old pair of jeans.

"Where are you going?" I ask as he heads out the door, clothes in hand.

"To change."

"Why not change in here?"

He grins, a devilish look on his face, "I think this is a better idea for right now, otherwise, we might get distracted," his eyes move up and down my body.

"Okay, fine," I pout.

Brayden changes quickly and heads down to the basement. I don't know if things are going any better down there or I just can't hear the yelling. Alone in my room I walk around aimlessly. How am I supposed to empty drawers? I have no place to store my clothes. I retrieve a suitcase from my parent's closet. I can put some of the clothes I already feel uncomfortable in, in there. That should make some room for Brayden.

As I roll the suitcase into my room, Jessica stomps up the steps. Our eyes meet and I see her face contorted with anger.

"What's up?" I ask.

She shakes her head. "I hate him. I can't wait to get the hell out of here."

"Come in my room and tell me what happened."

Jessica follows me.

"No matter what I do, it's never going to be good enough. No matter how hard I try to prove to him that I'm not the total and complete fuck up he thinks I am, he'll never see me as anything different. I should just go and . . ."

"Hey, slow down a minute. Things have been getting better. You hit a bump in the road. Don't let that get you off track."

She hugs her arms around herself, and I feel like this is a pivotal moment. I don't want to lose her or the closeness we've found. I realize just how much my sister means to me.

"Why not?" She asks. "I mean seriously, why subject myself to this?"

I step toward her, take her hand and rest it on my stomach. "Because you're my big sister, and I need you."

She shakes her head, "Not anymore. You have Brayden."

"Yes, I do. But I need you, too. I'm sure I'll do something stupid and fuck things up again, I need you around to make sure I don't."

She looks away.

"And what about the free babysitting you promised? I can't do this without you."

"I don't know, Kenzie."

"Well, I do. I love you, Jess."

We end the conversation with a hug. Jessica follows me into my room and plops herself on my bed.

"Good thing your bed doesn't squeak," she snickers. "Bet that's why Dad's so nuts."

I feel my face get red hot as I look away from her.

"Do you think he has a clue what he's doing? Finishing the basement I mean?"

"I don't know, but he's been watching "how to" videos on line the last few days. I think it gives his mind something to focus on besides Brayden knocking you up."

"You know what I love most about you, Jess? Your way with words."

*

The clinking and clacking in the kitchen pull us from my room. I cleared out two drawers. I think that should be enough for now. Besides, Brayden won't be here every day, he's going to need to have some of his clothes at school too.

Mom looks up when she sees us. "Kenzie, make garlic bread. Jessica, get to work on a salad, and this way I can bake a batch of cookies before we eat."

"What's for dinner?"

"Shrimp Fra Diablo. It's your father's favorite, and make sure you say thank you."

"Of course."

An hour later mom calls down that it's time for dinner. Almost an hour passes after that before my father and Brayden come up for air.

Dinner starts off in silence. If a pin drops in the kitchen it would sound through the house like a giant gong. I keep looking at Brayden trying to get a clue as to my father's mood. A long, grueling, tension-filled ten minutes passes before anyone speaks.

Brayden pulls his phone from his pocket, and I'm sure this is going to set my father off. He has a strict rule about no electronics during dinner. I don't know if Brayden is aware of the unspoken rule he just broke, but after checking it, he shoves it back in his pocket.    

"Carlos and Josh said they could be here in a little over an hour. Dave is going to try to get his father to come along. He's a general contractor . . ."

"I'm not paying anyone when we could do this ourselves. We don't need the extra help."

Brayden nods. "I know, and its coming along great, but my friends will help with the heavy lifting and if Dave's father could help us get the rest of the material at a discount, what do we have to lose? Besides, I'm hoping I might be able to talk him into letting me work for him."

Amazing. Brayden left my father nowhere to go with that one. The silence ensues.

"So your friends, are they single?" Jess asks.

"Jessica!" I don't miss the disapproval in my father's voice.

She rolls her eyes. "It would be nice to, I don't know, go to a movie or something once in a while, and the only people I have to do that with are Brayden and Kenzie. It would be nice to just invite someone else to go too, so I don't have to feel like the third wheel all the time."

"You're not a third wheel, Jess. But if you're looking for someone besides us to talk to, neither Carlos or Dave are seeing anyone right now."

"Thanks."

We finish dinner the way it began, in silence.

We're still clearing the table when the bell rings. Brayden answers the door and lets Carlos and Josh in, while Dave and his father pull up in a pick-up truck with Rent-a-Husband Construction logo written on either side of the vehicle. A few moments later, the house is full of laughter. Before heading down to the basement, Josh comes in to say hello.

"So how's my favorite married couple doing? It's all of a day and already you're banishing him to the dungeon?" he teases.

Before I can answer, Carlos beats me to it. "Look who's talking, you're next in line to get saddled down with the old ball and chain."

"Yeah, right." Josh scoffs. "When hell freezes . . ." he turns to me realizing who he's talking to. I'm not sure what I see on his face, if it's guilt or fear.

Realizing the pickle Josh put himself in, Carlos pats him on the shoulder. "Good one, dude."

"It's okay." I assure Josh. "I'd have the same reaction if it were you and Olivia that got married instead of us."

I know that wasn't the part of his comment that made him uncomfortable. But I figure if I only respond to that part maybe he'll understand I don't plan on telling her about it. Especially when she isn't even sure if she wants to stay with him. I don't want any responsibility for their future. I'm steering clear of their relationship.

"C'mon guys," Brayden kisses me on the side of the head. "We didn't even start and already you're slacking?"

"See ya, Kenzie." Josh says in a sheepish voice before heading out of the room.

A few hours later, Jessica and I bring some cold water bottles down for the guys.

"I'm sure they'd prefer beer."

I give her a dirty look.

"What? They're a bunch of college guys, Kenzie, they practically need beer to survive."

Once downstairs, I'm shocked to find the walls of the basement already framed. In addition to that, the room is divided up into two areas, one larger space for Brayden and I, and a smaller one for the baby. The guys are standing around laughing while the fathers are engrossed in conversation.

"Call me once the insulation is delivered and I'll see if we can get here before the weekend, otherwise I'll see you next Saturday."

"Thanks for all your help." My father shakes hands with Dave's dad. "Please, don't feel obligated to come back. I think we should be able to handle the insulation."

"I already told you, it's my wedding gift to Brayden. The least I can do is offer some free labor." He turns to Brayden. "And I am sorry, son. I'm just not in a position to take on any more workers. Especially not with the hours you have available."

"No problem, Sir."

He pats Brayden on the back, and although I've never met this man before, I can't help but feel like he hates me as his cold, angry eyes meet mine.

*

After Dave's father leaves, the guys decide to go hang out in Carlos' basement. Jess was probably right; they're probably looking for a beer infusion.

"Hey, Jessica, you are going to come aren't you?" Carlos asks.

"I don't know. I'm not sure Brayden and Kenzie want me tagging along."

"Screw Brayden and Kenzie. It's my basement, I make the guest list. And have no problem having you come and leaving them here."

"You sure you want me there? Having an old lady like me there might cramp your style."