Rebel Rockstar (23 page)

“What’s your name, baby doll?” the bearded guy asks me, grinning like a predator. I gulp the lump in my throat, feeling myself tremble in his arms. I’ve never had a panic attack before, but I’m pretty sure this will be the first time I experience one.

River.

Where is River?

My eyes scan the people in front of the stage who are all staring at me with huge, judging eyes. I’m shaking. And then I see him, standing out from the rest of the people here like a sore thumb.

River is color when the rest of the world is in black and white.

He’s the ray of sunshine on a cloudy day, the silver lining after a whole week of storms.

And as his eyes connect to mine, I see the concern grow into anger, and he saunters towards me. My savior.

He comes out of the crowd, jumping onto the stage. He doesn’t make a scene. Instead, his arm grabs my other one, and he raises his fist into the air with me.

The crowd erupts into cheers as River shouts something at them. I can barely make out the words.

“Are you ready to party?” he yells, and the people below the stage whoop with us.

Safe. Safe again. My heart starts to pound slower, letting me breathe.

“Who’s this?” The singer stares at River. They’re almost the same height. It’s not a look of rage, just one of… Curiosity? “Your little boyfriend?”

Neither of us correct him. Our arms have fallen, but River’s hand is still wrapped around mine. He squeezes it comfortingly. The other band members laugh, saying something about teenage sweethearts. They’re talking, but my attention is on River. Until I notice the man staring back at me.

“I think we’re leaving, actually,” River’s eyes are less curious. More angry. More… Possessive. Possessive of me, maybe. I don’t know. Can’t tell.

He tugs me alongside with him, his hand dropping mine. His arm goes around my shoulders next and he kisses me hair tenderly. He grins at the band singer who is looking at him with bloodshot eyes. I’m only now realizing the guy is drunk as heck, and the smell coming off him is sweat mixed with alcohol.

“Enjoy your gig,” River winks at the singer. “And I’ll enjoy my girl.”

The singer roars and makes a swing for River, but we’ve already jumped off stage and are making our way out. My heart is still pounding, but River holds on to me tightly, and despite my out of tune heartbeat, I feel safe.

M
y girl
.

Another man hitting on my girl. Not going to fucking happen. Never going to happen.

My fist clenches, and I wish I could take out my frustrations on that asshole, thinking he can just pick up Faith and drag her along anywhere he damn pleases. I’d dropped our drinks running to her aid. I wanted to drop another kind of punch on that dick’s face.

Faith knows me, she always has. “River, wait!” she says as I drag her out of that shitty club. It wasn’t even a good concert. I shouldn’t have suggested we go.

I make sure she is okay until we get out of the club, but then the rage takes over. I drop her hand as soon as the cool night air hits me, and stalk outside, running a hand through my hair.

I ignore her. I’m not trying to be a dick. It’s just that now isn’t a good time for my baby to start trying to assert herself. And that’s exactly what she is…

My baby girl.

Out on the sidewalk, I drop my arm from her shoulders. I take her hand again. The night is young and that place was fucking packed, but the streets are empty now.

“River,” she looks up at me again. She’s so small, and she has to step on her tiptoes just to meet my eyes. “What was that about?”

Her voice is shaky as fuck. She’s probably mad at me or at least confused about the way I dragged her out of there. I feel something rising up in my chest, a familiar feeling I used to have when I needed to defend myself against an angry father’s accusations. We’re close, he and I. But that doesn’t mean there’s no love lost between us.

Wait a fucking second. I look down at her, confused.
Is
she mad at me?

“I’m not going to apologize for that,” I feign indifference, even as my chest pangs with longing as she drops my hand. She’s going to leave now. Ignore me again. Today was the worst day, then the best day, then the worst again.

Nothing happens.

She moves her little body close to me, wrapping her arms around my chest. She tucks her head in again, just beneath my chin. “Thank you,” she whispers.

I’m staring at her, and then nodding, my head bumping against hers. I laugh awkwardly and squeeze her closer. It is then that I have a fleeting thought, one that changes everything.

I love her…

It has to be love for her to do this to me.

There is no way for me to admit that aloud, though.

“What do you say we leave this place?” Her voice changes, less soft now. Like she’s trying to be me. I catch her chin in my hand and stare at her.

I can’t believe this. I can’t control my grin. She’s Faith. She will never be like me, and that’s just what I love about her.

My arms go around her and I lift her in a spinning twirl before placing her on her feet again. I start walking, calling back to her.

“Now
that
sounds like an excellent idea.”

She’ll follow me. She always has. Always will, I hope.

But then, an even better idea comes to mind, and I look back at her with that face she’ll recognize from pre-K. We used to get in trouble chasing after kids from other classes together, when we were supposed to be napping. “Race you.”

And I do.

I outpace her easily, slowing down so she can keep up with me. It’s the only time I’ll slow down my pace for her.

My cock twitches in my jeans, reminding me of how beautiful her legs looked pulled open earlier and of how a little of her very noticeable wetness wound up on it. I ignore it as best I can. I’m not a romantic, but Faith can’t be a one night stand.

I know she’s a virgin. It has to be special.

We’re still running, and I’ve never felt freer in my life. A look over my shoulder reveals a grinning Faith and I know she shares the sentiment. There’s a special kind of freedom in running around like this – carefree.

Faith has a burst of speed, and I let her take advantage of it. I could beat her at this game, but I don’t want to. She gets to my motorcycle first.

“I win!” She jumps up and down on her feet, pouncing so happily, just the way she used to. I haven’t seen that from her in a while. Her hands go to the back of my bike, trying to open up the compartment so she can get to the helmets out. She pouts when she realizes she can’t do it, and it makes me grin.

She’s so frail… We’ll work on that. As hard as she hit in the gym earlier, it’s not like she’s had to do it before. And carrying books didn’t do much for her strength-wise, it seems. Maybe Jason carried them around for her. I scowl, banishing the thought.

Fuck Jason.

Faith has always been mine.

Opening the compartment, I take out her helmet and toss it to her, resisting the urge to buckle it up under her chin. Her hair falls around her face and gets stuck in the material as she tries to pull it on. My helmet is already on, but then again, I have more experience than she does. More experience with many things, as it might seem…

She scoffs and grunts, finally getting it on past her long, lovely hair. She giggles nervously, and then raises a hand to her mouth in shame like she’s trying to hide the sounds that just came out of her pretty mouth. She smiles at me and I can’t help smiling back at my lovely girl.

“Let’s go somewhere,” I say.

“Where?” Her voice is curious and excited. She’s like a little girl, but there’s nothing childish about her new curves, the delicious way she licks her lips when she catches me looking at her mouth. “Where are you taking me, River?”

“I know just the place,” I tell her with a devilish grin, and motion for her to get on the bike. In moments, we’re off.

I love how her hands feel clinging to my back.

* * *

I
don’t know
where we are going to go until we are turning onto an exit and already half way there. Faith has been clinging to me for a while now, and it’s so hard having her so close. The situation, that is.

And my dick.

Fuck.
No
.

We both turn our bodies – she’s a fast learner, and a good passenger – so the bike swerves to the left, and I park. I hop off, holding my hand out to her.

She doesn’t take it, smiling a shy smile at me. I saw it in her eyes the minute she decided to do it herself.

“Fine, baby,” I mutter.

But I’ll still take care of her. I grab both sides of her face, pulling the helmet away from her and throwing it in the compartment. Faith looks around the street, her eyes confused and then knowing as she takes everything in. She’s so goddamn beautiful.

“River,” her voice is exasperated. So cute. “This is a tattoo parlor.”

“Yeah? You think I’m blind, Faith Collins?” I have perfect eyesight, unlike her. I flick the edge of her glasses, loving how indignant she gets as she adjusts them again.

“Shut up,” she mutters. Pretty sure I heard a curse in there. It only makes me smile harder. “I can’t get a tattoo, River.”

“Well, yeah,” I wrap an arm around her, getting used to how her body feels against mine, even though I’ve hardly explored any of her skin. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t.”

She’s staring at me, and slowly, a smile appears on her lips. “River,” she breathes in shock. “You can’t be serious.”

I shrug. “Why not? I’ve wanted a tattoo for ages. And I know just what to get. I’ve known for a long time, actually.” I grin at her wickedly, grab her hand and drag her towards the parlor.

We walk inside and I can feel Faith trembling. There’s an intimidating inked biker guy at the reception desk and he raises an eyebrow when we walk in. “And just what do you two lovebirds want?” he asks, looking amused as hell. I stand as proud and tall as I can manage. “A tattoo of each other’s names?”

I keep staring, and the guy laughs.

“Fucking hell. Well, as long as you’re legal and you won’t sue me tomorrow,” he grins at me, pointing for me to come over. He gives Faith a doubtful look. “Not her, though. She looks like a toddler.”

Faith rolls her eyes before remembering the guy is three times her size. She blushes and looks at the floor and I grin, pulling her after me.

“Just me,” I tell the biker dude. “Her name.”

Faith looks up in shock, and I can feel her burning gaze on my skin.

“Her name, Faith. On my chest.”

“Your funeral, kid,” the guy shrugs and prepares a place for me to sit down. “Shirt off. Hope your lady friend doesn’t pass out.”

Indeed, Faith looks like she’s about to when I pull my shirt off. I know my body looks good. I’ve been hitting the gym long and hard to make sure it’s on point. But Faith likes me for more than just my looks. I’ve known that for years.

As the guy prepares his tools, Faith stands next to me and holds my hand.

“Why are you doing this?” she asks me softly when the dude isn’t looking. “You don’t need to prove a point to me, you know.”

I look at her, and I remember what I’ll have to tell her soon. I remember the contract I signed exactly one year ago, on my eighteenth birthday. I’d be leaving for another state too soon… Tomorrow.

I’ve known this for a while now, but the chance to tell Faith never came up. I knew it would hurt her, and she never let me close enough to explain things. But I need to be with her tonight, my last night in this fucking town. I’ll deal with the fallout later.

“I want to,” I say simply. “I want a reminder of you, Faith… For the rest of my life.”

“How fucking romantic,” biker man chuckles and Faith blushes. I grit my teeth as the needle digs into my skin – the first of many tattoos I want. But this one will always have a special place in my heart.

I
am so fucking screwed
. When my old man sees the tat, he’ll blast my ass off with a shotgun.

I regret nothing, though. Never would, not when it comes to my girl.

“Let me see,” Faith says as soon as I get out of the chair. Her voice is begging, and concerned. I like that she cares so much.

I stand to attention once she comes closer and inspects her name on my chest in cursive. For all his loudmouthing, the biker guy did a really nice job. I give him the money my dad gave me for my date with Faith, knowing he’ll fucking kill me the next day.

Not if I leave early enough, though.

Faith squeals with excitement when she sees her name on my pecs. “I shouldn’t love it, but I do,” she says shyly. “I can’t believe you did that for me. I hope you never regret it, River…”

“Never,” I say, determined to stay true to my word. I smooth down her hair and kiss her tenderly.

I’m dead beat. After all, the night has passed. It’s early morning now. Two a.m., if my guess is right. She should be getting home or her dad will throw a fit.

“It’s late. Your dad will be angry if you’re not in your bed like a good girl.”

“I’m not a child, River, I can go to bed when I want to.” She practically runs out of the door of the tattoo shop.

“Never said you couldn’t.” I’m trying to stay calm, not that it’s really working. “But he’s probably not thrilled about you staying out with some random guy.”

She flashes an evil grin at me, but I don’t give a fuck. That Jason guy should get lost once and for all. I’m hoping she’ll sass back some more and give me an excuse to spank her. “So are you going to your place or mine?”

I don’t want to take her home with me. Not because I don’t want her there with me. I do, more than anything. But my family… Fuck. And her father lives right next door.

For a minute, she’s silent. She doesn’t stop. We walk without speaking a word, and I keep my head down, wondering just how badly I fucked up. I look at her from the corner of my eyes.

Her. Face. Is. So. Goddamn. Red.

“You’re… I… I don’t know.” She bites her lip.

Shit.
She’s actually considering it. This girl will be the end of me.

“You don’t have to. It was just a stupid thing to say…” I keep myself from reaching out and running a finger down her mouth. Damage control. I can’t think well enough to make her feel better if I’m touching her.

“It’s not that I don’t want to. And I do. It’s just. I,” she stutters. Finally, finally, she looks up at me. “I want to.”

Fuck it.

I drag my finger down her mouth as slowly as I dare, feeling goose bumps erupt on my skin as I touch her. I shouldn’t feel this way over a girl. But damn it to hell, I always have when it comes to Faith.

Maybe it’s not my old man going soft.

Maybe… Just maybe… It’s me.

“We can go to this place…” I reply. Just as quietly.

We stare at each other for a long time, and then finally, she nods.

Oh god.