Rebel Rockstar (11 page)

A
fter my night with Jem
, I enter the courtroom with a newfound determination. She’s confident that the truth will prevail, and that I’ll be fine in the long term, and that’s helped me to feel a little better about everything. We’ve already arranged to spend the night together after all of this, and the prospect of seeing her again will get me through whatever today has in store for me.

I’ll just keep her face at the forefront of my mind, and everything else will be all right.

I sigh deeply as my lawyer spouts out a bunch of legal jargon I can’t even begin to understand. I tune him out and scan the room, spotting a familiar face. My stomach drops and my heart leaps into my throat.
Lola
. She’s surrounded by what looks like a legal team, which can only mean one thing. She’s about to take the witness stand. Whatever happens in this room today will determine everything.

I try to catch her eye, to see where her head is at, but she’s resolutely looking down at the ground. I pray desperately that she’ll just tell the truth and put an end to this, but I’m afraid she might be manipulated into saying otherwise. I haven’t stopped thinking about her face that day. I know something bad is going on in her life, and I really hope it doesn’t impact today.

I cannot stand the fact that my future is in the hands of so many other people. It’s a nightmare.

I flick my eyes around the room, trying to see if anyone is here to support Lola, and my eyes capture another completely unexpected person. Tonya Becker. She’s sitting in the back of the room with a half-hearted disguise on, but I can see right through it. It’s definitely her, that much is obvious, but why the hell is she here? I know she had some weirdness with Jem, and she isn’t very fond of me, so maybe she’s here on Lola’s behalf. I never knew that they were friends, but I could be wrong.

Oh, God. Does she know something I don’t?

“Come on,” the lawyer whispers into my ear. “It’s time to take your seat.” I do as he asks, taking a deep breath to try and prepare myself for what’s to come. It’s going to be absolutely massive…

* * *

L
eaving the courtroom
, I can’t begin to comprehend what just happened. It was like a whirlwind of craziness that I haven’t yet recovered from. When Lola stepped up onto the stand, my heart was racing with nerves, but after a few seconds of what looked like internal deliberation, she did the right thing and told the truth.

“…I kissed him,” she muttered. “Nate did nothing. It was all me. I kissed him, and he pushed me off. He did nothing wrong.” She was practically shaking as she spoke, but it was enough for the judge to decide that the case was pointless. It wasn’t in his jurisdiction, either, and he threw it out.

It was a bit of an anticlimax at the end of such a stressful time, but that doesn’t really matter. At least I’ve been given the outcome I so desperately needed.

I’m free. I’m not going to jail after all.

Paul is over the moon with how it’s all turned out, and he’s already organized a press conference so I can deal with the media all at once. It’s a good thing, because it stops them from clawing at me like a pack of wolves, but I’m not really looking forward to it either. I’d much rather head right home and see Jem so that we can start our future, but I have to do what I’m told. I’ve put Paul through so much. It’s only fair that I do this for him.

I tug my phone out of my pocket and make the call to Jem. “Hello?” She sounds breathless as she picks up the phone.

“I’m free, Jem!” I exclaim. “Lola was here today, and she told the truth, and I’m free…”

“I know,” she squeals. “I saw it. I’m here. I’m on my way.”

“What? Wait—what do you mean?” I panic, knowing that she’ll be photographed if she comes here. I purposely haven’t mentioned Jem, not wanting to drag her into it, and now she’s here anyway? “No. You stay home. I’ll be there soon…”

But then someone jumps onto my back, sending my phone clattering to the ground. I spin around—it’s Jem, already kissing me, already claiming me as her own.

“But the press,” I mutter into her mouth.

“Fuck them!” She smiles against me. “Let them know. I don’t care. We’re together. We’re solid. Forget everyone else.”

With that, I lose myself against her. She’s right. The world doesn’t matter anymore. As long as I have Jem, everything else can fade away.

“Nate.” Paul calls out sharply behind me, ruining the magic of the moment. “Come on. The media are waiting.”

* * *

“…
a
nd I thank
you for giving me my privacy after this difficult time.” I finish reading the statement, knowing that it’s pointless. As with all of these things, the press will take what they want from this statement and twist it to suit their end requirements.

At least the case has been thrown out. Now they have to stop printing shit about me.

“Does anyone have any questions?” I cringe as I say those words, knowing that I’m opening a can of worms. Unfortunately, it’s an essential part of this type of event.

“What does the future hold for you now?”

“I’ll be back in the recording studio, finishing my new album.” I really hope this will unleash questions about my music, but of course it doesn’t.

“Will you continue your friendship with Lola?”

I need to be diplomatic with this one. “I have no hard feelings toward Lola Castillo. I wish her the best of luck in the future.” I still want to be her friend, but I’m not going to tell the press that—they’ll turn it into something it isn’t.

“Are you back with Jemima Rockwell?”

I glance at Paul, wondering what I should say, but he gives me nothing. I try to be tactical. “I don’t want to discuss my personal life at this time…”

“But we saw you kissing outside the courthouse.”

“It’s early days.” I smile.

“Okay,” someone eventually interrupts, much to my relief. “That’s it for today. Thank you.”

With that, I feel like I’m leaving a horrible black hole in my past behind. I walk from the room with my head held high, on top of the world. Now I really
can
go back to my music. I can return to Jem. Sure, I may have lost the one advertising contract, but that doesn’t have to be the end of everything for me. Maybe with my newfound notoriety, I’ll be turning down offers.

I need to have a party to celebrate. One with everyone. I didn’t get to say goodbye to most of the people on the cruise ship, and I’d love the opportunity to see them all again. I need a chance to reconnect, to feel like myself again, and I can’t think of a better way to do that.

I’ll even invite Lola as a way to say thank you to her. Then, if I manage to get a second alone with her, I’ll try and find out what’s going on in her life, and what caused her to act like that…

T
he days
after Nate’s trial finishes are amazing. It’s so lovely to just be
us
again without the added outside pressures affecting us. We’re both
very
busy with a lot of press-related stuff, but since most of it is together, it’s not too bad. The media has become interested in us as a couple, and I find that I actually don’t mind doing interviews and photo shoots in that way. At least I don’t have to do anything out of my comfort zone. Nate is always there to ensure things run smoothly, even if I’m not quite happy.

Kim has backed off me a little. She’s stopped mentioning my new “sexier” image now that I’m getting a lot of attention in another way. I feel much better about the way things are happening now. I feel like I can be the
me
I’ve always wanted to be. Sure, I don’t love the invasions of my privacy, but we never tell anyone too much, so it’s fine. We’re in control now, and that is something I love.

On top of that, we’re both busy recording new music, which is the part of the job I love most. There has even been some discussion about a duet, although I’m not entirely convinced. That might be too cheesy for words…

“Are you looking forward to tonight?” Nate asks me, entering the room in the most gorgeous tuxedo I’ve ever seen. It’s the night of his celebration party, and we’re all dressed to the nines, really making an effort.

“I cannot wait!” I exclaim, spinning around to show him the turquoise-sequined full-length dress that hugs every single one of my curves. I pose for a few seconds, and he gasps in excitement.

“You look amazing!” he exclaims, pulling me in for a deep kiss. “I’m so lucky to have you.” As the kiss deepens, and his hands start to explore my body, I’m forced to playfully push him away.

“Stop it,” I say, giggling. “It took me forever to get ready, and we’ve got to be there in a minute.”

“Aw, but…” he jokes, but I shake my head.

“You’ll have to behave,” I insist. “You can have me later. Come on—the car’s waiting.”

* * *

A
s we step
into the banquet hall that Nate has hired for the night, I can’t help but gasp in shock. The party organizers have done an absolutely amazing job. They decorated the room in deep purple and gold shades, giving it a classy appearance.

“Oh, my God, Nate, this is awesome!” I scream, spinning around on my Jimmy Choo heels. “I can’t believe you found the time to plan all of this.”

“I
have
had a little help,” he admits, grabbing hold of me and pulling me in for yet another kiss. My insides light up as his arms wrap around my waist. The chemistry that I feel with Nate is on another level, and the fact that it’s combined with the most intense love in the world makes it that much better.

Soon, the moment is broken by the crowds spilling into the room, and the night becomes a whirlwind of dancing, drinking, and fun. I even get the chance to reconnect with everyone I worked with on the cruise ship, which is nice.

I keep looking around for Lola, hoping desperately that she comes, but I haven’t seen any sign of her yet. I’m hoping for the chance to have a serious conversation with her, to be able to get things back to the way they were before any of this happened, but she doesn’t seem to be coming. I worry that she’s afraid to come in case everyone blames her. I don’t hold any grudges against her at all. I understand now that she made a mistake and that it spiraled out of control, and I want to be able to reassure her that it’s all behind us now.

I miss her. I miss her a lot.

After an hour or so, I’m forced to accept that she isn’t coming. Everyone who is coming has already arrived, so I step up onto the stage, ready to say what I’ve been rehearsing all afternoon.

“Hi, everyone,” I call above the murmurs of the crowd, slowly silencing everyone. “Thank you for coming. We really appreciate you all being here. As you know, this party is to celebrate Nate’s freedom. We want to put that horrible mess behind us, and we’re glad that you’ve joined us for that.” I take in a deep breath, ready to reveal my surprise. “And now I’m going to sing my newest song. I wrote it just for Nate.”

His eyes shine, lighting up in excitement and shock, as the music bursts out behind me.

“Wait, don’t leave.”
I croon, and a hush comes over the room.
“I need you here. You’re my secret, my world, my everything. Love keeps us together, when the world tries to tear us apart…”

I watch Nate the entire time I sing, expressing all of my emotions, my feelings, my love with my words. He looks incredibly touched and excited by my words, which is exactly what I wanted from all of this. I want the world to know how I feel about him. I want everyone to understand that we’re in it for the long haul, and I hope the song is doing that. Everything I’m not entirely sure how to vocalize comes out in the music and the lyrics. I’ve been writing this in secret for a while now, and I’m so happy I did it. I love seeing his reaction—he absolutely loves it!

When I step down from the stage, everyone clapping around me, Nate pulls me in for a deep, inviting kiss, making the crowd go wild. Everyone whoops and cheers, celebrating our love, which is exactly the reaction that I was hoping for. After all the negativity we’ve faced, all the people trying to tear us apart, it’s nice to feel that people are happy for us.

After that I find myself drinking far too much, getting too into the swing of things, and eventually I need to step outside to get some fresh air. I’ve never been a great drinker, and too much champagne always reacts badly with me. I just need a moment alone, a second to suck in some cool air to calm me down. Then I need to start sticking to soft drinks…

Unfortunately, right away a cold voice bursts through my foggy haze. “Well, hello there, Jemima. What a surprise to see you.”

I turn to face him, unable to believe what I’m hearing. “Cole,” I gasp. “What the hell are you doing here? Who invited you?”

“Did you really think there would be a big party like this without me here?” He steps too close to me, getting right into my personal space. I can feel his breath on my cheek. I smell him with every inhale—it’s absolutely unbearable. “I’m always here. I’m at everything. You should know that by now. Wherever you are, I am too. Have you not seen that yet?”

Nate probably invited him without thinking. He knows I’ve had my ups and downs with Cole, but he has no idea of the extent of it. He definitely wouldn’t have invited him here if he knew…

Cole’s hand touches my thigh, and I slap it away sharply. “Get the fuck off of me, Cole.” I can hear the break in my voice, which makes me sound weak. “You don’t have any power over me anymore.” I sound pitiful as I speak, which isn’t helped by the tear that instantly trickles down my cheek. I’ve been having such a good night. Two seconds in his presence and it’s already drained away.

“Well, we both know that’s a lie,” he says, sneering. “I’ve always had power over you.” His fingers trail down my cheek, and I snatch my face away angrily. I try to step backward but I hit the wall hard. I’m stuck. I flick my eyes around, but quickly realize that I’m trapped in a corner with no easy escape.

Cole recognizes that as well. In fact, I imagine that was his plan all along. He’s always enjoyed getting me in positions that I cannot get out of.

His hands grasp me everywhere, bringing all the horrendous memories from my past flooding back. I try to scream, but the sound gets stuck in my throat. He’s right. He really does have power over me, and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. My brain is screaming at me to fight and yell, but my body is frozen, as if I’m encased in ice.

By the time my dress has been pulled up to my waist, my body has started to slump as if it’s ready to accept that I can’t keep him off me any longer. He always managed to overpower me, to do what he wanted, and now it’s happening all over again.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Cole!” Tonya’s voice breaks through my fear. “Leave her alone or I’m calling the police right now.” Her phone is in her hand, and her expression is deadly serious, making me thankful for her presence all over again. “I fucking mean it, Cole. You cannot behave like a sleazy prick your whole life, you know?”

“Fuck you, Tonya.” He laughs mirthlessly. “You’re pathetic, you know.”

“
I’m
pathetic?” she screams. “I’m not the fucking dickhead who has a young girl pinned into the corner. Now don’t make me fucking scream and get everyone out here.”

Eventually he walks off, making some sort of sleazy remark as he goes, but I tune him out, my breathing finally returning to normal. Tonya has saved me again, and I’m not sure why. This time I won’t let her get away. This time I need to talk to her. I need to find out why she’s being so nice to me for no apparent reason.

“Don’t go,” I pant, reaching out, hoping to grab her hand. “I need you. I need to talk to you.”

She moves behind me, practically holding me upright. “Are you okay? Do you need…I don’t know, medical help or anything?” There’s a terror in her voice that I can’t quite place.

“No, no, I don’t need anything. I need you. I need to speak to you.” My words are coming out garbled, but I don’t care. As long as she understands, it doesn’t matter how foolish I sound. “Please. Please talk to me.”

“I agree,” Tonya replies. “We do have a lot to discuss. Come on. Let’s go to the bathroom.” I lean against her and allow her to take me back inside. I don’t want to go back in, because I’m pretty sure Cole went that way, but with Tonya by my side I feel somewhat safer.