Reason to Breathe (45 page)

I lay back down with a relieved smile, her
words confirming that I hadn’t been dreaming.

“I don’t remember going to bed,” I
pondered.

“You had some help,” Sara explained with a
grin. “I couldn’t wake you when I got home, so he carried you in
here.”

My heart thrust to life as the image of Evan
carrying me to bed flashed through my head.

“How was Maggie’s?” I asked Sara, rolling on
my side to face her.

“Good,” Sara replied dismissively. “So… what
happened? I’ve been waiting for you to wake up for a half hour. I
was going to jump on your bed if you didn’t wake soon. Did he
finally kiss you?”

“Sara!”

“Finally!” she concluded, not needing my
confirmation. “How was it?”

“Stop it,” I insisted.

“That good, huh?”

“Would you stop assuming things without my
answers,” I demanded with wide eyes.

“Are you going to answer?”

I smiled, deliberating if I could say it out
loud.

“Stop beaming and give me
details
. You
swore a million years ago that it never happened if you didn’t tell
me.”

She got me there.

“Fine,” I conceded with a sigh, sitting up
against the pillow and crossing my legs. “Yes, we kissed. Actually
I think he kissed me before I completed a sentence.”

“No way!” Sara exclaimed. “And…”

“I don’t think I can find the right words to
describe it,” I said pensively. “It was better than I could have
ever thought possible.”

“Figures,” Sara stated with an exaggerated
breath. “It only took you forever to give in to it. If you’d
listened to me, you would have found out before the soccer season
was over.”

“Thanks, Sara,” I shot back sarcastically,
throwing a pillow at her.

“What was the talk about?” Sara inquired,
determined to hear everything.

“Basically both of us taking blame for his
leaving,” I replied. Then I continued to sum up the details, not
wanting to think about the awkwardness of the conversation too
much.

Sara laughed when I told her how I reacted
when he asked about Drew - and what we didn’t do.

“What is it with the two of you, finding
humor in my horror?”

“I guess we both know how you react in
awkward situations, and it can be pretty funny. Sorry.” She
smirked. “What’s going to happen now?”

“Well, we agreed that we’re okay, and he’s
staying. We didn’t have the relationship
conversation
if
that’s what you mean, and honestly, I don’t think that’s something
I need to have with Evan.”

“Because he’s already told you he loves you,
right?”

My face reddened as I suppressed a smile.

“Right,” she confirmed.

“So what did you say we were doing tonight?”
I asked, interrupting her from answering her own questions.

“You and I are going shopping today,” she
explained. I groaned. “Stop,. My mother’s given us both gift cards
for the mall. I figured it was time you owned your own pink
sweater.”

I grinned in agreement.

“And then we’re going to Alison Bartlett’s
party. It’s supposed to be pretty big, just to warn you.”

“Great,” I grunted, but I was slightly
comforted when she confirmed that Evan was picking us up so that we
could all go together.

As Sara was contorting my hair into a loose
curly knot at the base of my neck, I considered, “Sara, you haven’t
mentioned an interest in anyone lately. What’s going on with
you?”

“I don’t know,” she remarked with a sigh.
“I’m tired of the games, I guess. I don’t think I’m going to find a
guy in our school. That reminds me, we’re going to New York next
weekend. We’re staying with my cousin at Rutgers and driving to
Cornell for the day on Saturday. Coach called my parents about
meetings for you. So, who knows, maybe I’ll meet a college
guy!”

“We’re what?!” I choked.

“Sorry, I forgot to mention it. Your uncle
thinks my parents are coming. They’re not, so don’t say anything to
get caught in a lie.”

I gawked at her in disbelief.

Sara added with a heavy breath before I could
even think it, “Don’t worry. Evan’s meeting us in the city Saturday
night. I asked him last night.”

“I didn’t say anything,” I defended with a
smile.

“You didn’t have to,” she said, rolling her
eyes. “Em, I’m glad Evan’s back - you know that, right?”

“Yeah,” I replied cautiously, concerned by
her tone.

“I want to make sure that you’re going to be
okay if Carol and George find out.”

“I dated Drew without them finding out,” I
stated, not understanding what she was worried about.

“That was different,” she tried to explain.
“It’s harder for you to hide it when you’re with Evan. It’ll be
obvious to anyone who sees you that there’s something going on with
you – you’re glowing. So, I need to know that it’s going to be
okay?”

Sara’s nervousness caused me to hesitate
before answering. It was going to be okay, wasn’t it? I had to
believe it would be.

“I hope so,” I answered honestly. “Sara, I
listened to what you told me that time at Janet’s, about why you
decided to go out with Jared, and I think I need to do the same
thing. I’d rather be with Evan, knowing it may cause me some stress
at home, than to never have this chance to be with him.”

“It’s different for you,” she responded,
still concerned. “You’re risking a lot if Carol finds out.”

“I’ll survive,” I promised. She didn’t appear
satisfied with my answer but remained silent.

“You’re not going to fight this and make it
hard for me, are you?” I questioned.

“No,” she said with a warm smile. “I’m happy
for you – honestly. So, let’s go. Let’s let everyone know Evan’s
back and that you two are
finally
together.”

“Yay,” I groaned, as we walked down the
stairs. “That’s exactly what I want tonight to be about.”

30.
Life of the Party

A vibrant smile emerged on Evan’s face when
we neared the bottom of the stairs. I couldn’t help but smile in
return.

“That’s definitely my favorite sweater,” Evan
confessed when I reached the bottom step.

“I told you!” Sara exclaimed, referencing my
hesitation to purchase the pink sweater with a swooping neck line
that was mimicked by a low back. The heat on my face crept to my
ears and down my neck.

While we were putting on our coats, Evan
asked Sara, “Do you mind if Emma and I go for a quick walk before
we go? I have to ask her something.”

Sara flashed me a glance and answered, “Sure.
Come get me when you’re ready.”

My heart was paralyzed in my chest, unable to
think of what else he might want to know. My fear was justified
when the question left his mouth.

“So, the nightmares…” he remarked quietly.
“That’s what Sara was talking about yesterday, huh?”

I avoided his eyes, following the ground as
we walked.

“I’m sorry,” he said, forcing me to look up
into his distressed eyes with the tilt of his head.

“It’s not your fault,” I whispered.

“I’ll make it up to you, I promise,” he
offered with a soft smile.

Evan put his arms around my waist as I
reached up on my toes and pressed my lips against his. He held me
tighter and sparks richocheted through my body. I breathed him in
with each slow, deliberate pass of our lips. My head buzzed as his
rhythm quickened and our lips parted. I let out a quick breath,
pressing against him. He lifted his head with a grin.

“Why do you keep doing that?” I demanded in
frustration, not wanting it to be over.

“We’re in the middle of the street,” he
noted, glancing around. I slowly sank to my feet, releasing my hold
with a sulking breath.

He wore an amused grin as we made our way
back to Sara’s. I examined him curiously, silently demanding an
explanation.

“Just not what I expected from you,” he
explained. My eyes tightened in concern to which he quickly
blurted, “Oh, it’s not bad, believe me. It’s just… you
are
interesting.”

We parked in a large field across from
Allison Bartlett’s house, which was already filled with cars. Her
house was about a mile in from the road, with no neighbors in sight
– probably why it was such a popular party. The noise of
conversation and music carried across the field as we stepped out
of the car.

“I’m not going to be the third wheel,” Sara
declared. “So I’m going in by myself, and I’ll meet you in
there.”

“Are you sure?” I asked, surprised that she
preferred to go in alone rather than with us.

“Yeah, definitely,” she laughed. “Besides, I
want to see everyone’s reaction when you walk in.”

I shook my head in disbelief as she walked
toward the noise.

I nervously looked at Evan as he came around
the car to meet me. He stopped in front of me and took both of my
hands in his.

“Ready?” he asked with a half smile.

“Sure,” I shrugged.

He leaned toward me and delicately grazed my
lips with his. The tease left me breathless, burning for more.

“I keep having to remind myself that I can do
that,” he smirked. “I’ve been programmed that it was off limits for
so long; now it’s going to take some getting used to.”

“You definitely have my permission,” I
breathed, leaning toward him again.

Just before we were able to connect, I heard,
“Holy shit! Evan Mathews?”

I sank back to my flat feet with a groaning
sigh.

“Wait.
And
Emma Thomas? This is
crazy.”

I turned to face the annoyance. Of all the
people to find out first!

“Hi Jay,” Evan said casually. I clenched my
teeth together before I turned to face him.

“Hi,” I said quickly, feeling the burning
cover my cheeks - so much for subtle entrances.

“When did you get back?” he asked Evan.

“Yesterday.”

Jay raised his eyebrows and looked back and
forth between us, “Wasting no time, I see.”

My eyes widened as my mouth dropped open,
“Jay!”

“Just saying,” he said in his all too
familiar stance of feigned innocence.

“Going in?” Evan asked, ignoring his
comment.

“Yeah.”

Evan took my hand and we walked alongside Jay
into the house. There were people scattered on the front lawn and
steps as we approached. The open door released the blare of music
and voices which became practically deafening as we got closer. I
pushed out a quick breath through my pursed lips before we entered.
Evan squeezed my hand and glanced at me with a grin. Jay squirmed
his way in ahead of us.

It was as bad as I feared. There was gawking,
whispering, and even some pointing as we made our way through the
crowd toward the kitchen. The guys welcomed Evan back with
enthusiasm, while the girls just stared in shock, whispering to
each other as we passed. Why did I think coming here was a good
idea?

“You made it!” Sara praised as we squeezed
into the kitchen. “Well,
everyone
knows you’re here now. Jay
was seriously the first person you saw?” She shook her head in
amazement. “You couldn’t have made a quieter entrance, could
you?”

Evan laughed while I groaned at her
sarcasm.

“This is crazy,” I yelled to Sara as I took
in the shoulder rubbing mass of bodies that continued onto the
deck. Sara nodded in agreement.

“Do you want something to drink?” Evan leaned
in close to ask in my ear.

I nodded.

Evan walked towards the bar and within a few
feet, he was completely devoured by the crowd.

“Emma!” Jill exclaimed as she wiggled through
to get to us. She looked around, “Where’s Evan? I heard you came
here together.” Sara laughed.

“He’s getting drinks,” I shouted back to her,
resigned that this was probably going to be the topic of the
night.

“I am so excited for you,” she shrieked.
“Finally! I heard he came back once he heard about you and
Drew.”

“What?!” I yelled, shocked by the latest
rumor. “Where does this stuff come from?!”

Jill shrugged.

“You’re together right?” she confirmed
cautiously.

“Yeah,” I said slowly and then added
emphatically, “but Drew has nothing to do with it.”

“Let the stories begin,” Sara declared with
an amused expression. I eyed her disapprovingly.

“Hi!” Lauren shouted with a huge smile on her
face. “You and Evan, huh? That is so amazing!”

“Hi, Lauren,” I greeted with a sigh.

“Where is he?” she asked looking around.

“Getting drinks,” Jill yelled back.

“Is there anywhere we can go that doesn’t
require yelling?” I asked.

Jill pointed to the porch. I debated whether
or not I should wait for Evan, but being jostled by the crowd and
having to yell to be heard was wearing on me. I was convinced he’d
find us. I nodded to the girls to head out the door. We held onto
each others’ arms so we wouldn’t get separated as we maneuvered
through the human maze.

I took a breath of the cool air, relieved to
be away from the confines of the house.

“Great,” Jill said facing me, “now we can
hear all about it. When did he get back?”

I knew this was coming, but it didn’t make
the grilling any less uncomfortable.

“Yesterday.”

“And…” Lauren encouraged. “What
happened?”

I wasn’t sure what to say as I looked at
their eager faces.

“There you guys are,” Casey exclaimed. The
girls opened the circle to welcome her.

“Emma was just telling us about what happened
with Evan,” Lauren explained.

“Evan’s back?” Casey asked in disbelief.

We laughed at her cluelessness.

“Where have
you
been?” Jill
gawked.

Casey shrugged sheepishly.

“So…” Lauren pressed, looking back at me.

“Um… he apologized; I apologized, and that’s
it. We’re… better.” They looked confused, not pleased with the lack
of detail.