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Authors: Gerry Bartlett

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Real Vampires Know Hips Happen (44 page)

BOOK: Real Vampires Know Hips Happen
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“Yes, I am Melisandra Du Monde. I’ve been wanting to meet you for a long time, Gloriana. Gloriana. Ah, yes, the most interesting Gloriana.” My name had become a chant. She gestured with her right hand, her scarlet nails gathering air around her.

I stepped back before I could stop myself when that air swirled and darkened around her. Witchcraft. I recognized it and quit breathing, sure inhaling it would sear my lungs and either muddle my senses or make me pass out. I glanced around, almost expecting some familiar demons to pop out from behind the cars to sing backup for her.

Hey, I was no ordinary vampire. I could take her. Malicious tricks or not, she could die.
I
couldn’t. I smiled.

“I’ve seen your handiwork in my shop, Mel. Do you really think those stunts are going to help your cause with Jerry? So far you’ve just pissed him off on my behalf.” I couldn’t help noticing her voluptuous figure under a sharp black business suit that came from a well-known designer. She would have fit right in at a conference table in any Fortune 500 company. She was just Jerry’s type, with full breasts and generous hips. Only her eyes betrayed the crazy beneath her professional demeanor. “He really doesn’t like to see me upset.”

“Ah. Were you? Upset?” She blew on her palm, and dust peppered my face, making my eyes burn. “Glad to hear it.”

“Didn’t you hear me?” I blinked to clear my vision, refusing
to rub my eyes which stung like a son of a bitch. “Your dirty tricks are alienating Jerry.”

“He’ll get over it.” She smiled. “When we are back together, Jeremiah will forget all about you. I have ways to ensure it. I know what he likes, you see.”

“Get a grip on reality. He kicked you to the curb a long time ago. Where’s your pride, woman?” Taunting her probably wasn’t my best move, but I really didn’t like being reminded that she’d had Jerry in her bed. I was trying not to lose my cool and jump her, rip out that beautiful hair and pound her head against the concrete. That would make me feel better but would probably give her the out-of-control reaction she was hoping for. I drew on every reserve I had and stared at her, trying for cold and disdainful.

“Did he tell you how we met, Gloriana?” She leaned against my car, drawing a line with her nail on the trunk.

“No.” I wanted to hear this.

“I had rented a ballroom at his hotel in Miami. It was a sellout. People pay small fortunes to hear me speak, get motivated.” She smiled, her red lipstick perfect. All of her makeup was perfect. Damn.

“I can’t imagine. What do they say? A sucker is born every minute?”

“I am worth every penny. As a life coach. People hear me and they are reborn. They leave my seminars and become successful, do great things.” She flicked a disdainful look at the back door to my shop. “Some people are satisfied with a little life. My clients are not. Check out my Web site. Read the testimonials.”

“You know nothing about me or my life.” Why didn’t I just rip out her throat now? But that would make me as evil as she was. And then there was that cold, malignant wall surrounding her. I’d be stained by it, my soul tarnished, if I gave in to my urge to kill her.

“You have worked your vampire wiles on my Jeremiah. But I will put an end to that. Then he will realize that I am his soul mate. The only woman to make him truly
happy.” She ran a fingertip down her throat. “You should see him when he drinks my blood, Gloriana. The pleasure, the passion—”

“Shut the hell up!” I vibrated with the need to tear her apart. Her smile was so sure, triumphant. Had Jerry actually kissed that mouth? I wanted to retch, or launch myself across the alley and obliterate her face so that she’d never kiss anyone, ever again.

No.

I forced a laugh. “Seriously? Don’t you realize vampires will do and say anything to get mortal blood? Jerry played you, bitch. Used you as a donor and then moved on.” I took a step toward her. “You were handy when he was in Miami, but that’s over. He’s lusty, I can attest to that. Obviously you were easy.” I gave her my own cold smile. She didn’t take it well, her teeth snapping together. If she’d been a vampire, she would have been snarling, her fangs down. “Now he’s got his number one lover back. Me. You are old news, Mel. He’s throwing you out with the trash.”

“Old news? I’m not the one with hundreds of years invested in a failed relationship, Gloriana.
Pobrecita.
” The air around her swirled and pushed at me, frigid and menacing. “You are a bad habit that Jeremiah needs to break. But once you are gone, he will be all mine.”

“Get a grip. Jerry’s not some trophy you can pass around, the prize in your pissing contest. He’s a man who knows what he wants and it’s not you. Now why don’t you go back where you came from? Find some other man to terrorize.” I shoved at her creepy air and met resistance. I hated that I was even arguing with her, sounding desperate. Damn it.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? For me to just leave him to you?” She raised her arms and howling creatures appeared around her. Spirits? Ghosts? Whatever, they gave me the creeps. “As long as you are between me and happiness, Gloriana St. Clair, you will never have peace of your own. This I vow.” She muttered an incantation and the restless things around her wailed louder, rising and falling as she got more
agitated. They zipped past me, tearing at my hair and snatching at my clothes.

Okay, I admit it. I hit at them like they were real and got nothing but air. It was all I could do not to dematerialize, just vanish the hell out of there. I reminded myself that I was dealing with nothing more than a mortal playing with the dead. Yeah, dead. How much could they really hurt me? The ghosts I’d dealt with before had been benign, helpful. But the chilled air brushing against me when one of those howling creatures darted past made me jump in spite of myself.

“All right, you want to play hardball? It’s on.” I showed fang. “I don’t think you know who you’re messing with.”

“We will see.” She threw her arms wide and my ears rang as her followers screeched a final time, twirling into some kind of otherworldly dust devil before they disappeared. “He will be mine, Gloriana. It is decided.”

Decided? I couldn’t stand it. I threw myself at her, finally giving in to my hatred. I landed on empty concrete. She’d disappeared, just poofed. I jumped up and took a quick look around. She must have had an escape route figured out because she was really gone, nothing left of her but that stench of bad news.

I leaned against the back door into the shop, my stomach doing a pitch and roll as I hit the code for security and practically fell into the storeroom. I needed a bottle of synthetic blood. The first gulp helped; the second felt even better. A voodoo priestess. What next? I should know better than to ask that question.

•  •  •

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Titles by Gerry Bartlett
REAL VAMPIRES HAVE CURVES
REAL VAMPIRES LIVE LARGE
REAL VAMPIRES GET LUCKY
REAL VAMPIRES DON’T DIET
REAL VAMPIRES HATE THEIR THIGHS
REAL VAMPIRES HAVE MORE TO LOVE
REAL VAMPIRES DON’T WEAR SIZE SIX
REAL VAMPIRES HATE SKINNY JEANS
REAL VAMPIRES KNOW HIPS HAPPEN

BOOK: Real Vampires Know Hips Happen
12.74Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
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