Real Vampires Know Hips Happen

“Real vampires, real fun, real sexy!”

—Kerrelyn Sparks,
New York Times
bestselling author

Praise for
Real Vampires Hate Skinny Jeans

“Fast-paced and funny entertainment! Glory is hysterical; her relationships with her shoe-shopping friends and her male paranormal beaus are heartwarming and clever.”

—
Fresh Fiction

“This is a wonderful series…Once you start reading this book, you will not be able to put it down until you get to the end.”

—
Night Owl Reviews

Real Vampires Don’t Wear Size Six

“This has to be one of the best series I have ever read. Even after seven books, Ms. Bartlett keeps the story and her characters fresh and never boring…Ms. Bartlett is an autobuy.”

—
Night Owl Reviews

“Book seven of the Real Vampires series serves up another light, fun chick lit with plenty of demons, temptation, body issues and relationship woes.”

—
Monsters and Critics

“Every time a new Gerry Bartlett Real Vampires story comes out, I know I’m going to get a fantastically funny and highly enjoyable read, and this story was no exception.”

—
TwoLips Reviews

Real Vampires Have More to Love

“A book that you can reread again and again. I have been with Glory from the start and can’t wait to see what happens next. Each book is like coming home and catching up with old friends.”

—
Night Owl Reviews

“Fans will learn new and interesting tidbits about familiar characters and meet some fascinating new ones, making this addition to Bartlett’s vampire series an entertaining read.”

—
RT Book Reviews

Real Vampires Hate Their Thighs

“Laugh-out-loud fun…The story that sets up several interesting prospects for future Glory adventures.
Real Vampires Hate Their Thighs
has a reserved spot on my keeper shelf!”

—
Fresh Fiction

“The chemistry between Glory and Jerry is explosive. But when you add in the secondary characters, the result is nonstop laughter! Gerry Bartlett brings Glory to life and deals with the problems we all face.”

—
The Romance Readers Connection

Real Vampires Don’t Diet

“An engaging urban fantasy filled with action and amusing chick-lit asides. Glory is terrific.”

—
Midwest Book Review

“Another must-have. In her trademark witty voice, Gerry Bartlett adds another chapter to her highly entertaining series…
Real Vampires Don’t Diet
is honestly a tasty treat that’s sure to please even the most discerning palates.”

—
Romance Reviews Today

Real Vampires Get Lucky

“Gerry Bartlett delivers another winner…Ms. Bartlett’s gift for humor, the bawdier the better, is evident throughout…Fans rejoice—this one’s a keeper!”

—
Fresh Fiction

“Fun, fast-moving and introduces some wonderful new characters, along with having plenty of familiar faces.”

—
RT Book Reviews

Real Vampires Live Large

“Fans of lighthearted paranormal romps will enjoy Gerry Bartlett’s fun tale starring a heroine who has never forgiven Blade for biting her when she was bloated.”

—
Midwest Book Review

“Glory gives girl power a whole new meaning, especially in the undead way. What a fun read!”

—
All About Romance

Real Vampires Have Curves

“A sharp, sassy, sexy read. Gerry Bartlett creates a vampire to die for in this sizzling new series.”

—Kimberly Raye,
USA Today
bestselling author of
The Braddock Boys: Colton

“Hot and hilarious. Glory is Everywoman with fangs.”

—Nina Bangs,
USA Today
bestselling author of
Wicked Edge

“Full-figured vampire Glory bursts from the page in this lively, fun and engaging spin on the vampire mythology.”

—Julie Kenner,
USA Today
bestselling author of
Turned

“Fans of paranormal chick lit will want to take a bite out of Gerry Bartlett’s amusing tale. Glory is terrific.”

—
The Best Reviews

“A sexy, smart and lively contemporary paranormal romance…The plot is engaging, the characters are stimulating (not to mention, so is the sex) and the writing is sharp. Glory St. Clair is…a breath of fresh air.”

—
Romance Reader at Heart

“If you love Betsy from MaryJanice Davidson’s Undead series or Sookie from Charlaine Harris’s [Sookie Stackhouse novels], you’re gonna love
Real Vampires Have Curves
.”

—
A Romance Review

Titles by Gerry Bartlett

REAL VAMPIRES HAVE CURVES

REAL VAMPIRES LIVE LARGE

REAL VAMPIRES GET LUCKY

REAL VAMPIRES DON’T DIET

REAL VAMPIRES HATE THEIR THIGHS

REAL VAMPIRES HAVE MORE TO LOVE

REAL VAMPIRES DON’T WEAR SIZE SIX

REAL VAMPIRES HATE SKINNY JEANS

REAL VAMPIRES KNOW HIPS HAPPEN

GERRY BARTLETT

BERKLEY BOOKS, NEW YORK

THE BERKLEY PUBLISHING GROUP

Published by the Penguin Group

Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA

USA / Canada / UK / Ireland / Australia / New Zealand / India / South Africa / China

Penguin Books Ltd., Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

For more information about the Penguin Group, visit penguin.com.

This book is an original publication of The Berkley Publishing Group.

REAL VAMPIRES KNOW HIPS HAPPEN

Copyright © 2013 by Gerry Bartlett.

Excerpt from
Real Vampires Know Size Matters
copyright © 2013 by Gerry Bartlett.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any
printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy
of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

BERKLEY
^®
is a registered trademark of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

The “B” design is a trademark of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

eBook ISBN: 978-1-101-61959-9

An application to register this book for cataloging has been submitted to the Library of Congress.

PUBLISHING HISTORY

Berkley trade paperback edition / March 2013

Cover art by Chris Long / CWC International.

Cover design by George Long.

Interior text design by Kristin del Rosario.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product
of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons,
living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for
author or third-party websites or their content.

To Danielle Garrett, my superfan.
I don’t know what I did to deserve your loyalty,
but thank you.

Acknowledgments

Keeping the Real Vampires series alive is a team effort. First I have to thank
my
team, my street team, which does such a great job of grabbing strangers in bookstores and libraries and telling them about the series. Then there’s the enthusiastic bunch on the Real Vampires Fan Group, headed by Danielle Garrett, who’s ably assisted by Gemma Stirnichuk. This is where I turn for help with details for my stories, even title ideas. You guys rock!

As always, I want to thank the Berkley team. Senior editor Kate Seaver keeps saying, “Yes,” and Glory St. Clair lives on. My excellent copy editor finds my mistakes (Where is Edinburgh anyway?), and the art department gives me a pretty package. I know how lucky I am.

I’m also lucky to have wonderful agent Kimberly Whalen, who has had faith in me from the beginning and keeps me employed.

Last but not least there are my intrepid critique partners, Nina Bangs and Donna Maloy. They go through every book’s growing pains with me. If you like the finished product, thank them. If you don’t? Blame them. Kidding. Sort of. Really. Hmm. Maybe it’s time to wrap this up. Writing is supposed to be a lonely business, but I’ve never found that to be true. I can call on these two gals and brainstorm whenever I hit a wall. They help push me over it. And they listen to me whine. What more could I ask for? Thanks, ladies.