Real Vampires Know Hips Happen (24 page)

“Careful!” Would he burn himself? But he seemed to be okay, still holding his ears like he normally would. I ran for a stool and jerked the battery out of the alarm. Blessed silence. “That was an alarm. Lets me know if I have a fire. Usually handy. Oh, God, Jerry. This is, um, unexpected.” I carried the can to the kitchen and used the sprayer in the sink to put out the fire. Now my apartment stank of burned paper. I ran over to throw open a living room window for ventilation.

“Unexpected. Yes, I’d say so.” He stood next to the door frame, careful not to touch anything. “Do you think your mother planned this outcome? A bit more torture for my turning you vampire?”

“She seemed sincere when she offered the cure for you.” I looked skyward. “But then what do I know? She’s from Olympus. Apparently devious is her middle name. I’ll text her. She is supposedly busy paying off some sorcerer for this ‘cure.’ I’ll let her know that not only didn’t it work, but now we need a cure for her cure. If she did this on purpose, then she’s burned her bridges with me.”

“Burned.” He stared down at his hands again. “Shit! I can’t live
like this. I have to find out something.” He came up to me where I stood next to the sofa, his eyes on my face. “Brace yourself, lass. I must know. If I touch you, will I set you aflame as well?”

My heart broke at the look in his eyes. “I’ll gladly risk it. Kiss me, Jerry. Let me see if you breathe fire.” I pulled his head down, horrified that his cheeks were so hot to the touch. When our lips met, it was like a flame licked me, blistering me immediately. I gasped in spite of myself at the pain.

“God, no! Look what I’ve done to you.” He jerked back, putting several feet between us. “This I can’t stand. I’ve got to do something or just walk into the sun.”

“No. Surely we can find a cure. We need a doctor and there’s only one in town, Jerry, who works on paranormals.” I didn’t want to say it, but if anyone might know what to do, how to fix this, it was him.

“I can guess.” He turned on his heel, putting even more distance between us. “Take me to him.”

“Ian MacDonald. You’re sure?”

He looked back at me, clearly resigned but not happy about it. “I’m not so hung up on an old feud that I’ll die rather than try for a cure. What other choice do I have?”

“None, I guess. You certainly can’t just wait around to see if this wears off.” I grabbed my cell phone out of my purse. “Let me call him first. Make sure he’s in town and willing to see you.” Of course I had Ian on speed dial. Much as I hated him, it seemed like I’d done business with him way too many times.

“Gloriana.” Ian answered right away. “Are you back or still frolicking in the Highlands? My brother said you even wore a kilt of sorts when he saw you there. Apparently it barely covered your bum.” He chuckled. “Would have liked to have seen that.”

“Give it a rest, Ian. I have a medical emergency for you.”

“Really. What happened? Are you hurt?” Say what you will, Ian was a good doctor. I could hear him practically vibrating with interest.

“Not me. Jerry took a potion that was supposed to help him get some of his memory back. I assume, since you’ve talked to your brother, that you know Jerry still has amnesia. Anyway, now this ‘cure’ he took has turned him into a fire starter.” I fought the urge to cry. “Everything he touches bursts into flames, Ian. Can…can you fix him?”

“That’s a hell of a thing. Literally.” Ian chuckled. “Forgive me but the thought of Campbell as a living torch…Well, it doesn’t exactly hurt my feelings.”

I counted to five. “Are you going to help him or not?”

“I’ll try. You know how I love an interesting case. Where’d he get this potion? Got any of it left? Describe it.” His voice was crisp, no-nonsense now.

“Thank you. The vial is empty now but it’s still got some bright green slime clinging to the inside.” I grabbed it and stowed it in my purse. “My mother, who is a goddess from Olympus, got it from a sorcerer. Or so she claims. What do you think?” I watched Jerry pace, wired. A living torch. That about summed it up. He started to straighten his shirt then stopped before he touched it, obviously worried he’d set his clothing on fire. He was probably right.

How would he handle his death sleep? I guess he’d have to strip. No, I’d have to get his clothes off of him somehow. Then he’d have to rest his hands on his own naked body before dawn hit or he’d set even the bed aflame.

This was intolerable. Would it wear off? I had a million questions. Silence on the phone. Was Ian thinking about solutions or deciding whether to blow Jerry off? I’d just dumped a lot of information on the doctor.

“Bring him out here. I know we’ve formally ended our feud. Jeremiah’s father and my brother sealed the deal in blood of all things. Ridiculous. Anyway, are you sure Campbell’s going along with that truce? Douglas said he was an asshole about the whole thing.”

“Jerry is the one who suggested we see you, Ian.” I swallowed. “Please, he’s desperate. He can’t touch anything or, or anyone. It’s hell.”

“Sounds like it. A Hellfire spell. Your mother was either tricked or she did this on purpose. If that is so, you have my sympathy. She sounds like a real bitch. Bring him now, Gloriana. I’m going to look up a few things, maybe call someone, and see what I can do.” Ian disconnected.

“Okay, we’re going.” I touched Jerry’s back. He’d been staring out the window. I noticed the singed hole in my blackout curtain where he’d obviously brushed it aside. It seemed that as long as I didn’t touch his hands or mouth, he didn’t hurt me though his body felt hot.

“It’s going to take some getting used to. Going to a MacDonald for help,” he said quietly. “I’ve never trusted one in my life.”

“He’s a doctor. It’s his job.” I prayed Ian would act professionally and not rub Jerry’s nose in the fact that he was doing him a favor. “You’ll pay him just like you would any tradesman.” There, that should make Jerry feel better about it.

“Did he know anything about this curse?” Jerry faced me. Even after he’d first lost his memory, he hadn’t looked this discouraged. But then I’d always been able to hold him. I could still do that.

“Lift your arms.” I slid under them and hugged him, pressing my cheek to his chest. It felt like holding a steaming caldron dressed in a knit polo, but I refused to let go. “Now I want you to have faith. Ian did seem to have heard of this curse, and that’s what he thinks it is too. He’s working on finding a cure. There’s nothing he likes more than solving a problem, so don’t give up, Jer. Promise me.”

“If you were wise, Gloriana, you would run like hell. The shifter is obviously more than ready to take my place.” Jerry’s forearm brushed against my hair. “I could see that well enough downstairs even with half a brain.”

“Rafe is a dear friend but you are my love. And your brain is perfectly fine. Now let’s get going. We have to fix this. I want to make love with you again and I don’t particularly want to risk getting roasted and toasted doing it.”

Jerry followed me to the door. “You are determined to
deal with this, no matter what. Why? If it’s guilt, I won’t have it. There is nothing for you to feel guilty about, Gloriana. Our parents make their own decisions and they can be wrongheaded. It was clear to me that my own mother never welcomed you to the castle.”

“No, she didn’t.” I decided not to share the time she’d tried to kill me. “But you never let Mag’s feelings about me sway you and I’ll certainly not let a mother who I’ve known for five minutes influence me. Especially one who deals in dirty tricks.”

Jerry stopped next to the car. “No one could accuse you of not being steadfast, Gloriana.” He opened the passenger door, dew on the steel steaming when he touched it. I saw how careful he was as he got in to keep his hands from touching anything else. “You’ll have to do up the seat belt for me.”

“Sure. No problem.” I couldn’t meet his eyes, my own burning. Steadfast. God. I’d been anything but. When his memories returned, he’d know the truth. Valdez. And I’d have to tell him about Ray. Our ancient history he could brush off. Our partings had been mutual. But Rafe had just thrown my recent slip in Jerry’s face. Luckily Jer hadn’t caught just how bad a slip it had been. But he would and his forgiving nature might have disappeared after what he’d just gone through.

Damn. The best thing I could do for Jerry would be to walk away from him. My Olympus connection was ruining his life. But love, guilt, whatever my motivation, I just couldn’t leave him, especially not like this. I hurried around the car, eager to drive us toward Ian’s swanky digs on the outskirts of town.

First, I pulled out my cell and texted my mother: “The sorcerer’s stuff was a Hellfire spell. Not a fix. DO SOMETHING.” That should clue her in that the sorcerer who’d given this cure had failed. She could quit playing his games and start hunting for a real cure. Olympus was sounding worse and worse to me. I never wanted to find out what it was like firsthand, but it might turn out to be the only way
to get Jerry back to where he needed to be. With that thought giving me a killer headache, I started the car.

•  •  •

“You
really don’t remember anything after the late fifteen hundreds?” Ian made notes on a tablet computer. He and Jerry had exchanged stiff greetings. Of course Jerry had recognized him—Ian looked very much like his brother and they’d known each other anyway back in the bad old days when they’d played battle of the clans.

“That’s right. But this is more urgent.” Jerry walked across the room, picked up a log which burst into flames. Then he tossed it into Ian’s fireplace. Since it was a mild night, Ian hadn’t lit a fire. Now he had a nice blaze going.

“Interesting. Let me see your hands.” Ian set down the tablet and walked up to Jerry. He grabbed one of his wrists first, carefully. “Your body’s extremely warm. I’d like to take your temperature.” He looked over his shoulder. “Bring me my bag.”

I’d mentored a genius vampire who’d worked for Ian for a while and used to assist him. Penny had quit to go to medical school and was now in California, doing her thing at night. Ian’s new assistant was a beautiful vampire.

“Nice window dressing.”

Ian cocked an eyebrow at me. “Melanie is a doctor, has a PhD in genetics and has done quite a bit of her own research in the medical field. Don’t be fooled by the pretty package.”

“Sorry, Melanie.” I said that as she reentered the room carrying Ian’s medical bag. I figured that with vamp hearing she’d probably overheard my remark.

“You’re not the first and I’m sure won’t be the last to make assumptions about me.” She smiled. “Mr. Campbell’s problem is going to be a challenge. I hate working with sorcerers but, Ian, I think we’re going to have to call one in if it’s what you say it is.”

Ian pulled a thermometer out of his bag. “Open your mouth, Campbell. This goes under your tongue.”

“Be careful. I tried to kiss him and it blistered my lips.” I touched my mouth, all healed thanks to the synthetic I’d had just before Jerry had started his flame throwing.

“What the hell?” Jerry stared at the digital thermometer like it would poison him or puncture his tongue. Of course taking anything from a MacDonald was still hard for him.

“It’s a thermal material specially formulated to withstand a dragon’s breath. Mel brought an interesting clientele with her. Hopefully Campbell here isn’t that hot.” Ian passed it to me. “You do the honors, Gloriana. I doubt he’ll take it from me anyway.”

“It’s a small machine, Jer. Just close your mouth over it. It’ll beep and let Ian know your body temperature. It’s to help him figure this out. Won’t hurt a thing. I can do it first if you want me to.” I put it near my own lips.

“Give it to me. I’m not afraid of such a tiny thing. Just wanted an explanation.” He took it and thrust it into his mouth, frowning when it started beeping.

“I don’t see any sparks coming from his hand.” Ian aimed Jerry’s finger at a piece of paper. “Look, Mel. See that?”

“A flame. Shooting right out of his fingertip. Wow.” She picked up Ian’s tablet. “Do it again. I’d like to try to get a picture of it.”

I could see Jerry getting angrier by the minute as Ian manipulated his fingers like they were inanimate objects. Jer’s face went from pink to bright red. When Ian pulled him closer to a table, Jerry suddenly jerked his hand away and shot flames that made the whole wooden table go up in smoke.

“Holy shit!” Melanie aimed the tablet at the ruins. “I got the entire thing.” She glanced at Ian. “Oh, sorry. That was a one-of-a-kind antique, wasn’t it?”

“No matter. Incredible. His temper seems to increase the fire power.” He grabbed the tablet and started typing. “Hand me my phone. I’m calling Cornelius. If anyone will know how to handle this, he will.”

“Cornelius?” I’d really like to know what Ian was typing.

“A powerful sorcerer.” Ian scrolled through his contacts on his cell.

“You have a sorcerer’s phone number?” I took the thermometer out of Jerry’s mouth when it signaled it was done and handed it to Melanie.

“You never know when you’ll need one.” Ian walked out on his terrace, apparently deciding on privacy.

“His temp is one twelve. That’s serious.” Melanie looked worried as she typed into the computer. “Dangerously high. Sit down, Mr. Campbell. Would you like a drink?”

“That’s a problem. The last time I tried to hold a glass, the blood boiled. And call me, uh, Jerry.” Jerry looked at me. “Any suggestions?”

“You can use a straw if you have one of those glass ones. Surely he can’t melt glass.”

“We’ve got a pipette. Good idea, Gloriana. I’ll get one.”

“And I’ll hold the glass for you.” I smiled at Melanie. “Thanks for offering. Bring him some of Ian’s best synthetic, B negative. That’s one of Jerry’s favorites.”

“Good. He needs to hydrate. This fever could kill him, I think. I’ll discuss it with Ian when he gets off the phone.” She hurried out of the room.

Ian came back inside. “He’s coming. It’ll take him a little while because he has to gather some things. Where’s Melanie? What was his temp?”

I told him.

“Damn. That’s too high. We need to get him into a tepid bath.”

“Here’s his blood. I didn’t heat it and I put a straw in it, like you suggested, Glory.” Melanie handed me the glass. “She tell you his temperature? I’m worried.”