Read My Lips (22 page)

As with silverware, plates, and diapers, having a pad that is disposable makes life more convenient. You can pull it off and toss it in those special little trashcans strategically placed in public bathrooms. Toss them and forget them, right? Sure, but the pad’s story doesn’t end when you throw it away. In fact, that pad’s story is never-ending (at least not in your lifetime). Most pads are made from polypropylene, which is non-biodegradable (this is why we put cotton in quotes earlier in the chapter). If you use pads, take a second and think about how many pads you go through in one day. Let’s say you use one at night and change it about every four hours while awake. That adds up to about five pads a day. Five pads a day for five days is twenty-five pads, which adds up to somewhere around three hundred pads over twelve months! Doesn’t sound like a lot? Try finding a place to stack three hundred pads in your home. Now does it sound like a lot?

Turning Your “Red” Days “Green”

If creating this much period-product waste concerns you, there are other options available. There are disposable pads that claim to be biodegradable. They are not widely available but may be found in health-food stores or similar locations. Even if you are not concerned with the environmental impact of pads, you may want to consider the impact on something else: your wallet. Depending on the price of each pad, costs can add up quickly!

How can you save money and the environment? Consider making your own pad. There are even underwear with pads already in them so that they don’t scrunch and bunch (see Resources). Just toss them in with the rest of your wash (pre-wash if heavily soaked), and they are ready to go for round two.

TAMP-ON-IT

Perhaps, like many women, you have a memory like this one:

It was a hot summer day and the pool beckoned. All of your friends were having fun, splashing and enjoying the crisp, cool blue water. You wanted to splash around, too, rather than sit on the lounge chair or your towel alone, but you had your period, and you had only been using pads up to this point.

It was time to make a choice. You could

a. stay inside by your lonesome.

b. swelter in the heat, pretending that you just felt like “dipping your feet in.”

c. stick a pad to the bottom of your bathing suit (although those images of babies with droopy diapers were a definite deterrent).

d. hope the old wives tale that people do not menstruate in the water is actually true.

e. tamp-on-it.

Some women start using tampons during their very first period and others never decide to use tampons. On the other hand, many women transition from pads to tampon use. There are many different reasons why women may do this. Wanting to go swimming is one of them. Other times, girls who take dance classes find that wearing a pad feels uncomfortable or awkward when they’re wearing leotards and tights. Or they tire of staining the sides of their panties, wings or no wings.

V-CRAFT: HOW TO MAKE A NO-SEW COOCHIE CARRYING CLUTCH

You are sitting at a meeting or in class when it happens. To your horror, your tampon has over-expanded and is slowly slipping out of your vaginal comfort zone, or you suddenly feel a surge of menstrual blood that may or may not have slipped past the defense. Time to take your tampon out!

You need to sneak off to the bathroom, but you also need to be prepared, and your protection is currently stashed away between books and papers. You go on a hunt and find your treasure. Now what? If you don’t have pockets you may find yourself in a conundrum. You can proudly parade across the room with your tampon/pad in hand or lug your giant purse/backpack/briefcase across the room. Then, after you finally manage to smuggle your tampon/pad into the bathroom— you notice it! That’s right—it’s happened to all of us: pencil shavings/ dirt/food crumbs have managed to find their way to your tampon/pad, and now they are stuck to the wrapper.

This is a situation that we can all probably relate to in one way or another. Fortunately, we have a craft solution: a no-sew coochie carrying case! Design it to look like a vulva to make a bold statement, or use your favorite fabrics for a more concealed one.

What You Will Need

• A favorite fabric. Pick one that you love, but try to steer clear of fabrics with stretch. If you are making a coochie carrying case, you will need two different fabrics to differentiate between the outer and inner labia. We recommend a material with some movement for the inner labia. Silk (or imitation) is always a good bet.
  
• Masking/duct tape. Most masking tape comes in a shade of brown. If you like this, great! If not, keep shopping around. You may be able to find colored masking tape at your local hardware store or through the Internet. If you are unable to find colored masking tape, clear masking tape will allow your fabric to shine through.
  
• Double-sided tape (optional for pubic hair)
  
• Cotton if you want to give your inner labia a little puff. The kind sold at the grocery/drug store in the nail-polish remover section should be just fine (optional for inner labia stuffing).
  
• A ruler for measuring the fabric
  
• A pencil for marking the fabric
  
• A stapler. It doesn’t have to be super fancy, but it should be able to staple through a few pieces of paper relatively easily.
  
• Something to close up the bag. Velcro is the easiest, but zippers are more likely to impress your friends. A pipe cleaner is definitely the least-expensive option and probably the best if you are providing supplies for lots of people or creating more than one carrying case (optional).
  
• Hair. We don’t recommend using your own (although you can by cutting and taping the ends to a piece of paper. Your local craft store should carry some relatively inexpensive doll wigs that should work). If not, your Halloween/costume store is sure to have a wig that should do the “trick” (get it—because it’s Halloween) (optional).
  

What to Do

Outer Labia

1. Let’s start by cutting the fabric that you want to use for the outside of the bag. The length is entirely up to you. Are you just using this for tampons/pads, or do you want to use it for other things as well? If tampons and pads, are they large or are they small? How many do you want to carry at one time? Take all of these things into consideration when deciding on the size. Somewhere between six and twelve inches is typical. Measure approximately ½ inch from the top of the fabric and ½ inch from the right side of the edge of the fabric and mark those spots. Now, draw a rectangle or square to your desired size, starting at the ¾ inch and ½ inch marks. Now draw another line ½ inch from the left-hand side of the square/rectangle. You are going to cut along the line that you just drew so that you have three sides of the square/rectangle cut out. Fold the material over so that it is doubled on top of the fabric and trace the outline of the material. You are now going to cut out the remainder of the square. So when you are finished, it should be one long piece of material, with both sides of the box or rectangle connected at the center.
   
2. It’s taping time! Get out your masking tape and cover one entire side of the fabric with masking tape. You are obviously going to want to cover the side of the fabric that you don’t want to be visible on the inside of the bag.
   

Inner Labia

1. Now you are going to cut the inner labia (labiaplasty reference not intended). The inner labia are going to be the same width as the outer labia but a little bit shorter in length (about ½ inch). To start, measure out a square/rectangle about the same length as the material that you just cut for the outer labia and deduct about ½ inch from the top. Mark that rectangle/square with your pencil. Now create three more boxes connected to the original box you just created (it should look like one giant box or rectangle). Cut along the outside of the box/rectangle.
   
2. You should now be ready to create the inner labia. Fold the material in half once, length-wise, so that you have a long tube (without an enclosed bottom). If the material has two sides, fold the material so that the “bad” side is folded on the inside and the side that you want is facing you.
   
3. Stuffing time! Take the cotton balls and pull them slightly so that they are less ball-shaped (this will give you lumpy inner labia) and more fluffy and long. Once you have a handful, place them along the inside of the tube. Keep going until the tube has a little fluff to it. Be careful not to overfill. If too full, there won’t be room for anything else besides the coochie inside of your clutch!
   

Clutch Handle

Set aside the inner labia for now. It is time to create the handle for the clutch. Cut a piece of fabric about two inches thick and a foot and a half long. Follow the same instructions as you did for the inner labia (minus the stuffing). As a reminder: place the ugly-fabric side out, duct-tape the bottom of the fabric and staple to make sure it stays in place. Now flip it inside out so that the staples and duct tape are on the inside of the strap. Set it aside—we’ll come back to it later.

Pubic Hair

Cut a strip of double-sided tape the length of the outer labia fabric (the first fabric that you cut). Tape the end to the edge of a table or flat surface with a ledge. Now, if you are using a wig, it’s time to give it a haircut! Trim the hair to the length that you want to keep the pubic hair (a half-inch to an inch works best). Now carefully tape the ends of the pubic hair to the edge of the duct tape so that the hair takes up no more than half of the tape. Set aside and try not to disrupt. We will come back to it in just a minute.

And It All Comes Together

Okay, almost there! This is the tricky part. We are going to put all the pieces together. Start by laying out the outer labia (or bag fabric) so that the duct tape is on the outside facing you.

1. Attach the inner labia: Surgery time! We are going to attach the inner labia to the outer labia fabric. Lay the inner labia on top of the outer labia so that the open edge of the inner labia meets the edge of the outer labia fabric. Duct-tape the end of the fabric together so that the duct tape wraps from the inside of the inner-labia fabric to the non-duct taped side of the outer-labia fabric.
   
2. Put some hair on there: Fold over the top of the outer labia approximately ¼ inch. Take the tape off of the ledge and place it on top of the folded-over fabric so that pubic hair is on top and the back side of the tape with pubic hair is on top of the flap. Wrap the other half of the tape around the other side of the flap to hold it in place. Press down.
   
3. Attach the bag closer/pipe cleaner: Now we are going to put in the pipe cleaner so that we can open and close the bag. Simply slip the pipe cleaner in the tube that you just created. If your pipe cleaner is too short, you can twist the ends of two pieces together. If it is too long, simply cut it. Staple the edge of the pipe cleaner to the edge of the outer fabric. Try to get as close to the end as possible. Now fold over the top edge of the outer labia about ½ inch. Place a piece of duct tape over the top of the pubic hair tape. If you can, try to keep a straight line because this will stay visible on the inside of the bag. Do not tape over the ends of the tube.
   
4. Attach the clutch strap: Slip the clutch strap inside the open pocket that you just created when you duct-taped the tube together with pipe cleaner/pubic hair. Put in a single staple.
   
5. It all comes together: Fold the fabric widthwise once so that it is approximately the size of the clutch. Fold so that the duct tape, pubic hair, and inner labia are all visible. Wrap the clutch handle back around so that it is facing the inside material (not duct-tape covered) of the bag. Now put staples around two of the four edges. You may want to do two rows for extra security. Do not staple the top with the pipe cleaner/pubic hair or the edge that was naturally created when you folded the fabric. Now tape over the edges that you stapled with duct tape.
   
6. That’s so clutch! Time to flip it inside out to see your creative new coochie clutch! Carefully invert the materials so that the inner labia and duct tape are now on the inside of the bag. Violà! You have coochie clutch complete with a strap, inner labia pocket, and fun pubic hair trim. No more hanging your head in shame as you head to the bathroom with your tampons/pads. You can stride with your new clutch in (your own) style.
   

Oftentimes, people have questions about tampons. We are not sure why there are so many myths about them, but we are happy that people are being inquisitive about what’s going on inside their bodies. If you have mastered the period waters for years, you may have forgotten some of these common questions or myths from your childhood or adolescence. If you’re a mom, aunt, or teacher, you may find it helpful to look through these questions and myths so that you can best support the young girls in your life. When Debby has been invited to speak with fifth- and sixth-grade girls about puberty, she has often fielded similar kinds of questions—questions that she and her friends had years earlier—reminding us that the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Here are some of the most frequently asked questions we hear about tampons:

At what age is it appropriate to start using a tampon?

There is no right or wrong age. There isn’t even a right or wrong stage of development. As we said, some women choose to use tampons during their first period, while others never use them. The right time to use a tampon is when and if you decide you want to. If you start using tampons and then decide you want to stop, that’s okay too.