Raw Desire (4 page)

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Authors: Kate Pearce

BOOK: Raw Desire
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Her quick indrawn breath made his heart beat faster and his cock swell in his pants.
“You want me to decide whether I'll have sex with you, and
then
you'll tell me how it's going to be.”
“Yeah, because I know what you want.”
She shifted uneasily in her chair. “Don't you think I might have changed too?”
“Sure.” He studied her closely. “We'll find out, won't we?”
“I'll have to think about it, Rob.” Ally stood up abruptly. “I wasn't really anticipating having a sexual relationship with anyone while I was back here.”
Rob stood, too, and looked down at her. “Then start thinking about it.” He slid his hand around the back of her neck and kissed her mouth. “I want to fuck you right now, but I'm willing to wait until you're ready.”
She pulled away from him. “Wow, that's big of you.”
He caught her hand and pressed it against the front of his pants, almost groaning as his cock reacted. “Honey, you have no idea.”
She eased her hand away. “Go home, Rob, and I'll think about it.”
Rob checked his gun belt and radio and let himself out of the house the way he'd come in. As he walked the quiet, moonlit streets, his body hummed with sexual frustration. He'd be taking a cold shower when he got home and jerking himself off like a teenager.
He stopped and turned to look at the faint silhouette of the shabby house, his sexual high fading as other, unexpected emotions grabbed hold of him. God, he'd missed her. He wanted to hold her, comfort her, make everything right again, and he couldn't understand why. Was he some kind of masochist who enjoyed having his heart broken? Wasn't he supposed to be the one who was in control, the “dominant” one?
During his first couple of years at college, he'd gotten way too involved in the “scene.” Of course, when he tried to tell Ally what she really needed and just how he was going to give it to her, he scared her into running away. It had taken him a long time to realize he wanted to be Ally's “Rob” not some nameless chick's “Dom.”
And that was the truth of it. A truth he'd struggled to acknowledge over the years and had finally had the balls to admit. He was Ally's. And if this was the only way she would let him get close to her, he'd go for it with everything he had. With a soft, heartfelt curse, he got into his truck and turned the key. Dammit, he was already committed. Whatever he'd started, he was determined to see it through to the end.
4
A
lly straightened up and rubbed her aching back. Between painting the house and not sleeping well, her whole body was complaining. At least the kitchen walls were a gleaming white now, the blue tiles scrubbed, and the gray bleached out of the grout. There was still a lot to do, but it kept her busy. She pushed her hair out of her face. Busy was good. It gave her less time to brood.
A knock at the back door made her turn, and she frowned at the big brown shape through the frosted glass. Was it Rob again? He'd said he wouldn't be back until she asked him, but he was so full of shit. She walked across to the door and then hesitated. Years of living in New York had sharpened her sense of self-preservation.
“Who's there?”
“It's me, Jackson Smith.”
Ally brought her hand to her mouth. She hadn't seen Jackson since that night when she'd sought comfort in his arms and all hell had broken loose. She took a deep breath. He was just another obstacle she had to overcome. She'd faced Rob; surely Jackson would be easier? He certainly was sweeter.
Ally turned the key and opened the door. Jackson took off his sunglasses, but he didn't smile as he looked down at her. His skin was the color of burnished copper, courtesy of his Lakota father, and, as usual, his almost-black eyes concealed his thoughts.
“Hi.”
“Hi, would you like to come in?” Ally gestured awkwardly into the house.
“Sure.” He followed her inside and waited by the table, his gaze roaming the kitchen as if he expected an ambush.
Ally folded her arms over her chest and leaned against the countertop. “You look well.”
“Thanks.” His gaze briefly connected with hers. “You look thin.”
“Models are supposed to be thin. Don't you know that?”
He studied the faded linoleum. “But you haven't been modeling for quite a while now, have you?”
Ally tensed. “Did Rob tell you that?”
A brief smile flickered over his stern face. “No. I can read.”
“All that shit on the Internet?”
“Not just that.”
“Then what?”
“Police reports, that kind of stuff. I worked as an NYC cop for a while before I moved back to California.”
“Oh.” Ally felt like he'd shoved his fist in her gut. “Then you know why I'm here.”
Again he considered her. “Not really.”
She sighed. “To make things right for one thing, to apologize to the people I hurt, and that definitely includes you.”
His head came up. “Are you sure about that?”
“Jackson, I put you in an appalling position. I almost destroyed your friendship with Rob—and what about Susan? I sure did ruin her life, didn't I?”
He shrugged. “You had your reasons.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
His smile was gentle. “It means you should forgive yourself.”
“Easy for you to say.”
“I've had plenty of time to think it through, and the blame wasn't all yours. I was equally to blame; you know that.”
Ally studied him for a long moment. How come it was so much easier to be honest with Jackson than it was with Rob? “I know that now, but I'm still sorry, Jackson.”
“Apology accepted.” He dug his hand into his pocket and pulled out his keys. “Now, give me your car keys.”
Ally's tentative smile faded. “What?”
He looked at her as if she'd gone nuts. “I'm taking your truck to Vic's shop.”
“Says who?”
“Rob said it needed fixing, so seeing as I'm on duty and not using my truck this week, I thought we'd swap until yours was repaired.”
“No.”
He paused. “You're getting it done somewhere else?”
“I haven't even called the guy yet!”
“So, what's the problem?”
“The
problem
is that it's nothing to do with either of you what I do with my truck.”
“You have to get it fixed, right?”
Ally gritted her teeth. “I know that, but I am not accepting help from you, or Rob, for anything.”
“Why not?”
“Because everyone would assume I was taking over my mother's position as the town slut.”
Jackson put his keys back into his pocket. “How about I get you the parts, and I help you fix it right here?”
“How about you go home?”
He held her gaze, and she looked desperately for some sense of what he was feeling and found nothing. Had he always been so guarded?
He shoved a hand through his short black hair. “Ally, just accept my help, won't you? I'll come around after dark if it makes you feel better.”
Ally slumped back against the cupboard. Why was he being so nice? It made her feel like a bitch all over again. “I can't afford to have the truck fixed at a shop, and I won't let you or anyone else pay for it. Do you understand?”
“I hear you loud and clear.” Jackson put his sunglasses back on and headed for the door. “Have a good morning, Ally. I'll see you around.”
When he shut the door, Ally closed her eyes tight. She didn't want his charity. She wanted—she
needed
—to fix things for herself. How hard could it be to replace a light? She'd get a book from the library and take it from there. If she could just get a job to help her through the worst of this financial mess, she'd be able to pay for anything she damn well wanted.
She picked up her coffee mug and washed it out in the sink. Jackson had accepted her apology and seemed disinclined to discuss the past with her at all. She wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing. Behind his calm façade, she'd sensed something different in him, something far harder and darker than he wanted the world to see.
The alarm on her cheap plastic watch beeped and Ally opened the fridge. She didn't feel like eating, but she had to. That bit of wisdom was one of the hard-earned lessons from rehab about having a healthy body to go with a happy, healthy mind. She made herself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, with “wholesome” brown bread, and opened the free local paper she'd picked up at the store the previous night.
Of course, there was nothing in the jobs section that a washed-up supermodel could do. Ally finished her sandwich and then put her head down on the table. Sometimes it felt as if she'd just climbed one mountain to be faced with another. She forced herself to be positive. She wasn't in debt anymore, and she didn't want to go back there. So she'd wait until she got a job and would fix the truck then. The walk into town would be good for her too.
With a groan, she got up and stretched out her tired muscles. Next up was stripping the ancient linoleum from the floor and checking the state of the wood beneath. With a deep breath, Ally reached for her gloves. It was time to search out the vermin that probably lurked under the linoleum. She'd spent years around vermin of the human kind, so a few bugs really shouldn't bother her.
 
“Ally wouldn't give me the keys to her truck.” Jackson came into Rob's office and shut the door firmly behind him.
Rob looked up from the report he was completing. “She wouldn't? Why not?”
“Because apparently, she doesn't like you interfering in her life.”
Rob sighed. “I was trying to help. She needs to get that light fixed.”
“Yeah, I get that, but she wants to do it herself.” Jackson leaned against the closed door and shoved his hands into his pockets. “You might've told me you hadn't agreed about anything with her.”
“I suppose I'm so used to looking out for her that I forgot she's changed.”
“Rob, she left you. You hate her guts. Why would you still be looking out for her?”
“Because I don't hate her, and I'm an idiot?”
Jackson studied him for a long moment, and a sick feeling twisted his gut. “You've already gotten into her pants again, haven't you? What are you? Fucking stupid?”
“I haven't, it's just that she—”
“Wrestled you to the ground and took advantage of you?”
“No!” Rob pushed his chair away from the desk and stood up. “It was all me and she was . . .” He hesitated. “She's like a drug. I can't seem to get her out of my head.”
“Jeez, man!” Jackson shook his head. “You need to stay away from her until you get your brain out of your dick. Mess around with her and then try and build your stupid case against her mother. She'll have your ass in court before you can count to five.”
“Give me a break. I have no intention of involving Ally in anything.” Rob sat down, but Jackson didn't move from his position by the door. Eventually, Rob had to look up at him.
“What?”
“How about you give Ally a break, Rob? Let her get on with whatever it is she has to do here and leave.”
Jackson turned to go and Rob stared down at his report. “I don't know if I can let her go again.”
“Then talk to her
before
you fuck her. Find out what's really going on in her head and then decide what you're going to have to do to make her want to stay.”
Rob looked up at him. “Do you want her to stay?”
Jackson paused, the door half open, and addressed his answer over his shoulder to Rob's desk. “Of course I do. I like her. I always have.”
“You more than like her, Jackson.”
“What's that supposed to mean?”
“I've always suspected you want her as much as I do.”
“And she wanted
you,
Rob. She made her choice.”
“But Ally's not a scared eighteen-year-old anymore. Maybe she doesn't have to choose between us.”
Jackson's gut tightened even more. “What are you trying to say?”
Rob shrugged. “Just that I wouldn't make the same mistake again. If she wanted us both, I'd be happy to go along with it.”
“Are you
serious?
”
“Yeah.” Rob held his gaze. “I am.”
Jackson struggled to think of a reply as his cock thickened in his pants. The thought of sharing a bed with Ally and Rob was something he'd consigned to his deepest, darkest fantasies. His fingers tightened on the door handle.
“You're doing it again, buddy. Making decisions for Ally that aren't yours to make.”
“Jeez, Jackson, give me a chance here. I'm just asking how you feel. It's not like I'm going to spring the decision on Ally and just assume she'll go along with it.”
Desperately, Jackson tried to change the subject. “If you want Ally to stick around, finding her a job might help. Have you asked Lauren?”
“Lauren hates her guts.”
“Everyone hates Ally in this town. Imagine how that feels and yet she's back here facing it, dealing with it.”
“
All right.
I get it. I'll ask Lauren.”
For the first time, Jackson managed to smile. “Thanks.”
Rob waved him away. “Don't thank me yet. My little sister is a hard nut to crack.”
“Don't I know it. Appeal to her mercenary side. Tell her that everyone in town will be by to take a look at Ally, and that will increase her business.”
“Yeah, that might just do it.”
 
Jackson retreated, leaving Rob staring at the wall. He deserved Jackson's wrath. He was behaving like an asshole. But he'd never been able to be cool around Ally; the fire between them, the closeness, the sense that they were meant to be together made that impossible. And it seemed that heat was still there.
And Jackson's reaction to his admission that he wouldn't object if they both got to fuck Ally hadn't been quite as enthusiastic as he'd hoped either. But then Jackson always kept his emotions to himself, and he hadn't exactly said no.
If Rob wanted to clear up the mysteries of the past, he had to stop leading with his dick and start using his supposedly firstclass brain. The least he could do was try and help Ally get a job. Then she might stick around until they sorted everything out.
He put on his jacket and checked to make sure his radio was on. Midmorning, before the lunch rush, was a good time to call on Lauren at the diner. He shied away from the thought of what Lauren would make of his asking for a favor—for Ally of all people.
When Rob came into the hallway, Jackson's door was closed and he went past without knocking. He'd tell the front desk where he was going on his way out. It occurred to him that Jackson had spoken more this morning than he had in the last six months, and all on Ally's behalf.
Shit.
Had Jackson realized that Ally was the woman he wanted? Was that why he'd been less than enthusiastic about Rob's confession?

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