Raw Desire (3 page)

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Authors: Kate Pearce

BOOK: Raw Desire
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“He's dangerous, Ally.”
She glanced around the empty kitchen, aware she was talking to herself again. If she stayed, she should definitely get a cat. With a sigh, she washed the paintbrush out in the sink. But she wasn't staying, was she? And a cat would only be something that depended on her, and she couldn't handle that responsibility yet.
She really shouldn't argue with Rob, either, but it was so hard to resist. It had been so long since she'd reacted so fiercely to anyone, cared enough to even fight. On some deep level, she knew he wasn't the kind of guy who would hurt her, even though she'd walked out on him. She couldn't decide if Jill, her good friend and AA sponsor, would be pleased or horrified with her thought process.
There was so much work to do in the house; she could do with some help. But could she be alone with Rob for five minutes without jumping him or letting him jump her? She slowly shook her head. “Uh-uh, missy.”
She pretended to pet her imaginary cat and returned to sorting out the kitchen cupboards. Rob was too much of a temptation; she'd have to get a job and pay someone to do the heavy work instead.
 
“Ally's back.”
Rob braced himself for Jackson's reaction, but his deputy kept eating his fries as if he hadn't a care in the world. Spring Falls's only sports bar was half empty this early in the afternoon. The regular patrons would turn up later to fill the place and give it some much-needed buzz.
“Did you hear what I said?”
“Yeah.” Jackson stopped eating to stare at him. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Rob recoiled. “What am I, a girl? What do you want me to say?”
“I dunno, something, I guess.”
“I knew she'd come back one day.”
“You did?”
“Yeah.” Rob drummed his fingers on the red and white checked tablecloth. Jackson wasn't known as a chatterbox, and since his aborted army career, he'd clammed up even more. But he still had this disconcerting habit of expecting Rob to tell
him
stuff, embarrassing stuff Rob really didn't want to share. “You'll probably see her around town. She's planning on fixing up her mom's old house and selling it.”
“Yeah?”
Rob set his jaw as Jackson went back to eating his fries. “Is that all you have to say?”
Jackson sighed. “What are you worrying about?”
“I'm not.”
“I'm okay with it.” Jackson fixed Rob with a hard stare. “You're the one who seems to have a problem.”
“I don't like it.”
“Ally coming back?”
“Yeah, it stirs up stuff I thought I'd forgotten.” Rob took a gulp of his beer and refused to look at Jackson.
“Like the fact that I fucked your girlfriend?”
“I hadn't forgotten that.”
Jackson rubbed the side of his face. “Neither have I. You almost broke my fucking jaw.”
“You fucking deserved it.” Rob glared at Jackson for a long moment. “Sometimes I wish I could just sort it out like that with Ally. But you can't have a knockdown fight with a girl.”
“That's the truth,” Jackson agreed. “You'll have to think of some other way of telling her what an asshole you were.”
Rob decided not to answer that. “There's other stuff that bothers me about that last night Ally was in town. Susan's death and all that.”
“Why that?”
“Jesus, Jackson, don't you think about Susan too? She was your fucking girlfriend.”
Jackson glared at him, his dark eyes smoldering like coals. “Susan killed herself after she found me and Ally in bed together. Of course I think about her. I'm just not sure why Susan is the first thing
you
think about.”
Rob leaned closer and lowered his voice. “Don't you think it was weird the way Susan was seen at the Kendal house that night?”
“Not really. She probably wanted to confront Ally. That's what girls do.”
“But this was later, after Ally had supposedly gone.”
“So?”
“There were reports that Susan left the Kendal house
with
someone that night. After the suicide verdict came in, the authorities had no legal means to search Ruth Kendal's house, and she refused point-blank to help them. What if Susan didn't throw herself off that bridge after all but was helped?”
Jackson angled his chair back from the table. “And you care about this because . . . ?”
“Because I'm a cop and no case is ever completely closed, is it?”
Jackson got to his feet and leaned over the table. “Fuck that, Rob. This is all bullshit. You want a reason to get into Ally's house, into her pants, and back into her life. Don't use Susan's death as an excuse to reexamine the past.”
Rob stayed put as Jackson threw some cash on the table, grabbed his jacket, and headed out the door. He let out his breath and finished his beer. Damn, that hadn't gone as he'd wanted it to. Jackson was pissed and maybe he had a point. But Rob didn't need a way back into Ally's life. She'd already said she wanted to “talk” to him.
With a curse, Rob ordered another beer and turned his attention to the baseball game on the big-screen TV. Jackson would get over himself; he usually did. And Rob would continue to investigate Susan's death in whatever way he damn well pleased.
3
A
lly held her breath as the truck's engine coughed and reluctantly turned over. For a second, she allowed herself to rest her head on the steering wheel and breathe a quick prayer of thanks. Her day was not going well. She'd been to almost half the businesses in the small town and asked for work, but no one was hiring.
Some people were openly hostile, others polite but distant. It was her own fault. She'd run off and made no attempt to keep in touch with anyone from Spring Falls. It wasn't surprising no one wanted to know her, let alone employ her. But, hell, with the way her finances were tangled up, she needed to keep her savings intact if she was going to follow her dream and go back to college in the fall.
Her stomach grumbled as she backed out of her space and headed for the gas station. Ten bucks of gas went nowhere these days. If she didn't get lucky soon, she'd be walking into town to save money. To her relief, the old guy who sometimes manned the pumps and liked to talk had disappeared. She got out of the truck and went inside the small cramped shack that smelled of oil, tobacco, and fish bait to hand over her money.
“Is that you, Ally?”
She looked up to see a vaguely familiar face smiling at her.
“Yeah, I'm Ally.”
“I'm Jane Evans. Do you remember me?”
Inwardly Ally braced herself for an attack. If she remembered correctly, Jane was the younger sister of Susan Evans, the girl Jackson had been going out with when Ally had hooked up with him. Just like in some cheesy soap opera, Susan had been right there, alongside Rob, to discover her and Jackson in bed together. The tragic consequences of that god-awful moment had haunted Ally ever since.
“Hey, Jane, what's up?” Inwardly she winced. Now she sounded like some flippant teenager.
“Nothing much, thanks. I heard you'd come back.”
Ally managed an awkward smile. “I'm not staying. As soon as I fix up the house and sell it, I'll be off again. You don't have to worry about bumping into me all the time or anything.”
Jane looked carefully around the small space and then leaned closer to Ally.
“I don't mind if you stay. I've forgiven you, even if nobody else has.”
“That's . . . very decent of you. I was really sorry about what happened to your sister.”
Jane shrugged. “Susan was a fool to get so worked up over a man like Jackson. How weak can you get?”
Ally took a small careful step to one side so that she had room to get around Jane if she needed it. So much for sisterly love and solidarity.
“It was nice to see you anyway.”
Jane waved and walked toward the open door. “You too.”
Ally paid for her gas and went back outside. Jane's behavior was weird to say the least, but if she was willing to forgive, Ally wasn't going to stop her. One less person to worry about in a town full of haters was a start.
She pumped the gas, replaced the pump, and got back into the truck. The setting sun made the raindrops splattering her windshield gleam for an instant before they evaporated on the warm glass. Ally shivered as she started the truck. God, she was so tired of being afraid, of facing the people she'd let down, of owning up to her mistakes and moving on.
Her AA sponsor, Jill, had told her it was important to get rid of her baggage, but sometimes it felt way too heavy to lift, let alone sort out. Jill had also told her that even if she apologized, some people might not want to forgive her and that she had to accept that. An image of Rob's unsmiling face filled her mind. Of all people, she had to make things right with him.
As the sun disappeared swiftly behind the surrounding hills, the valley became a landscape of deep shadows and stark silhouettes. Ally decided to visit the twenty-four-hour convenience store, microwave herself something fattening, and go home. Maybe she'd even splurge and buy a doughnut or two to cheer herself up.
She lingered in the small store, drawn by the lights, the smell of cheese nachos, and the array of glossy magazines, until the young kid behind the counter began to look at her suspiciously. She nuked a burrito to eat on the way, grabbed two doughnuts and headed out. It was much darker outside now, but the house was only five minutes away.
 
“What the hell?”
Ally glanced in her rearview mirror at the flashing blue and red lights of a patrol car. Dammit, she was only two minutes from home, and she'd been right on the speed limit. What on earth was she being pulled over for?
She sat rigidly in the driver's seat and refused to turn her head as the police officer leisurely approached. She reluctantly let down the window and tried not to inhale as Rob's lemon-scented aftershave wafted over her.
“What?”
Rob wasn't smiling. “Driver's license and insurance, please.”
Ally flipped open the glove compartment and handed over the insurance, pulled her license out of her back pocket, and gave him that too.
“Ma'am, this is a New York state license. California law states that if you intend to reside in California, you must get a California driver's license within ten days.”
“I'm not residing here.”
“Ma'am, to my knowledge, you've been residing here for at least three weeks and you are a property owner.”
Ally set her teeth. “I didn't know that was the law. I'll fix it tomorrow, okay? Now, is there anything else?”
“Get out of the vehicle, please, ma'am.”
“It's Ms., and why do I need to get out? I said I'd sort out my license.”
Rob leaned in the window to stare at her.
“Get. Out.”
Ally glared right back at him. “You have no right to bully me. I hope you're taping this because I'm going to sue you for every pathetic penny you earn.”
Rob stepped back, and she flung open the door of the truck and got out, instantly regretting the loss of her height advantage in the cab.
“What are you going to do now, Sheriff? Beat the crap out of me?”
He still didn't smile, just walked toward the rear of her truck and pointed. She followed him, her temper rising, and then stopped.
“Oh my God. What happened to my lights?”
Her left taillight was shattered, and the light illuminating her license plate had also gone out.
“That's why I stopped you, ma'am.”
Ally stared at the damage, and a sick feeling built in her stomach. “It was okay when I left Main Street. I saw the reflection in the shop windows when I backed out of my parking space.”
“Did you stop anywhere else?”
“The gas station, the 7-Eleven . . . Who the hell would do that to me?”
“I don't know, but you'll have to fix it.”
Ally put her hands on her hips and swung around to look at Rob. “Thanks for the advice. And how much is that going to cost me?”
He shrugged, and the movement outlined his broad shoulders in the glare from his headlights.
“Your insurance should cover it.”
“Not the kind I have. By the time they take off my deductible, I'll be paying them. I'll have to get it fixed myself.”
“I'm going to run your documents. I'll be back in a minute.” Rob turned on his heel and headed back toward his car, leaving Ally stranded in the road.
She continued to stare at her damaged taillight. She didn't have the money to fix the house up, let alone her truck. She glared at Rob's retreating form. And how dare he act like he didn't know her?
She blinked as he turned off the flashing lights on his car and came back to her. His radio chirped and muttered away at his belt but he ignored it. He handed her back her documents, and she stuffed them into her pocket.
“Can I go now?”
He stared down at her. “Aren't you going to thank me for alerting you to the fact that your vehicle was damaged?”
“Thank you? You're a cop. It's your job to harass people, isn't it?”
His expression cooled. “It's my job to keep people safe, ma'am.”
“Ma'am?”
She wanted to kick his ass but instead gave him her best dismissive smile. “Well, thank you, then.”
He took a dog-eared business card out of his top pocket. “This guy deals in secondhand car parts. If you give him a call and tell him I sent you, he'll probably be able to find you a new taillight real cheap.”
Ally bit down hard on her lip. God, she didn't want him to be nice. It made it so much harder to ignore the heat between them.
“Thanks . . .” She met his amused gaze. “Really, I mean it.”
She moved toward her truck, and he followed her. He opened the driver's door and waited as she seated herself behind the wheel.
“I'll follow you home.”
“You don't have to do that.”
He sighed. “Ally, are you going to fight me about everything? If I'm behind you, there's less likelihood that someone will run into you on the road. My shift is over, and I'm going back to town anyway.” He paused and looked into her eyes. “And I'm ready to talk.”
“And you expect me to wait up for you?”
“Yeah. I do.” He touched the brim of his hat. “I'll come 'round the back, so leave the kitchen door unlocked.”
She wanted to scream that she would do no such thing, but he'd already walked away. She jumped as he flashed his headlights and obediently started the truck. He followed her as far as her driveway and then peeled off back into town, leaving her to park and run inside.
She didn't bother with the lights as she walked through the quiet house to the kitchen, her whole body so alive and needy it almost hurt to breathe. How dare he be nice to her when she'd expected nothing but disdain and anger, and how dare he think that having sex was the only way she could make anything up to him? But she wanted him, wanted to be dominated, to forget about how crappy her life had been recently and just enjoy the physical.
Would that be so wrong? Somehow she still trusted him, and he knew exactly how to push her sexual buttons. After the awful day she'd just had, she wanted to be held. She moved toward the back door, touched the small glass panes, and looked out into the shadowed yard.
And Rob wouldn't expect anything from her. He already thought the worst of her, so she certainly wouldn't be letting him down. It would just be about the sex. He'd get payback and she would start a new sexual journey after her year of abstinence.
Her fingers crept toward the latch, and she slowly turned the key.
 
Rob parked his truck a block away from Ally's place and walked through the quiet streets until he reached the back of her mother's house. Part of him knew that by coming to see her, he was behaving like a complete bastard, using that hint of vulnerability Ally had shown by her truck and exploiting it big-time. But she wanted him. There was no question of that; her body had told him everything she hadn't wanted to say.
He paused outside the darkened lot and peered over the fence into the backyard. Nobody challenged him. He frowned. So much for the local Neighborhood Watch. The grass was at least three feet high, and the smell of rotting fruit from the unpruned trees cut through the sweet scent of the night. Had Ally unlocked the door, or had she regained her fighting spirit and gone to bed alone? He pushed open the back gate. There was only one way to find out.
To his relief, the door handle turned and he entered the dark space. Moonlight filtered through the newly washed windows, revealing Ally standing by the table, her arms crossed over her breasts. Rob let out a breath he wasn't even aware he'd been holding. She was waiting for him, and he was more than ready to give her what she needed.
He sat down at the kitchen table and nodded at the chair opposite. “Sit down, Ally.”
She raised her chin at him but complied. Her hands folded together in front of her. She licked her lips. “I meant it when I said I wanted to apologize.”
“And I meant it when I said I'd take that apology in sex.”
She shivered. “You mean you want to try and dominate me again.”
“I get that I scared you back then, but I'm not twenty anymore, and I'm no longer into that scene.” He shrugged. “I tried it for a while, but it didn't suit me.”
“You can't change who you are, Rob.”
“Yeah, I know that, but I play by my own rules now.” He held her gaze. “If you choose to ‘submit' to me, and I hate even using that word, then you need to understand I'm not into safe words and all that ritual crap. You either trust me to know what you want and what you need, or you don't.”

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