Raised By Wolves Volume four- Wolves (58 page)

you…”He snorted and spoke with amusement. “IDidFerStriker.

He snorted and spoke with amusement. “IDidFerStriker. ButNoOther.”
“Chris?”I offered and laughed.
He rumbled with incoherent disparagement and then laughed. “Aye, ICanSeeThat,” he said with great sarcasm. “’EDon’WantNobody, An’’E’s NeverGonnaMakeAProperMatelotFerAMan.”
I frowned unseen in the darkness. Since we had made our pact to only refer to Chris in the masculine, Pete was the only one of us who never stumbled on the mention of Chris’ gender.
“Is it because he is a woman?”I asked.
Pete paused in chewing. “YaWant’ImTaBeAWomanOrNot?”
I recalled my musings on the matter. “I still do not know ifI want himto succeed inhis aim—over the course ofhis life.”
“WhyNot?”
“I suppose I am still annoyed by his presumption; yet, that is contraryto mysympathies for womeningeneral. I feelit is unfair that they do not share in the rights held by men. I suppose to some degree, it is because it is Chris. I feel that if Yvette or Agnes wished to pursue such a ruse, I would not resent them. But Chris approaches the matter with such arrogance at times. It rankles.”
“SoItBeOnAccountO’YurPastWith’Im.”
I sighed. “Aye.”
He was silent for a time and I heard him toss the stick the meat had beenonaway.
“You still do not like women at all, correct?” I asked. “Withthe exceptionofSarah.”
“ThereBeManyADayILike’ErLessThanAllTheOthers. TheyAll… ItBeLikeYaSaidTaChris. TheyAllBeThinkin’AllCocksBelongTa Them. An’MaybeItBe’CauseTheyGotNoneO’TheirOwn,
ButForAManWho WantsCocksO’’IsOwn, TheyBeADangerousEnemy.”
“Aye,” I said somberly. “Tell me truly, have you ever wanted one? Simplylooked uponone and felt desire?”
“’AveYou?”
“Aye.”
He sighed and fidgeted. “SometimesICanLookAtSarah, An’Think ’OwSheBeWhenShe’sWarmAn’SoftBeneathMe, AnMyCockLikesThe SightO’’Er. ButThatNa’BeWhatYurAskin’, IsIt?”
“Nay. I mean a woman you have not had. Awoman you did not want to possess first because… she stole somethingfrom

you.” “Aye,” he sighed. “ButTheyAllDid, Will.

WhenIBeYoung, TheOlder BoysFucked TheYoungerUntil TheyGotSomeChanceAtAWoman,
OrOneO’TheGirlsWhoRanWithUsGrewTittiesAnAMuff. ThenTheyFoughtO’er’Em. TheBoysThoughtThey’Ad TaMakeMore MoneyTaKeepOne. TheyTookStupidRisks. OrTheyGuttedOneAnother O’erSomeLittleCunt’s Affection. IWantedNoneO’It. ItWasStupid.

“But… YurQuestion. WhenITookTaSpyin’

ThereWereATimeThen OnWiminTaSeeWhat TheFussWereAbout. AllTheBoysI’AdWanted WereTryin’TaFuck’Em, MaybeIWereMissin’ Somethin, YaKnow? SoI Looked. ThereWasThisOneWhore. SheWereOlderThanMe. ButAThinBody, LikeABoy’s. SheWould BatheEveryAfternoonAtA Gutter BarrelIn ThisCornerO’AnAlley. AnIWouldSpyOn’Er. SheWould Drop’Er DressAn’WashWithThis LookOn’ErFaceLike… Like She’Ad JustButcheredAHogAn’Now SheWasWashin’TheBloodAway. Dignified. IGuessThatBeTheWord. She’AdDignity. SheDidNa’ Roll ’ErEyesAn’Swing ’ErHipsOrNoneO’That. SheActedLikeALady, An’WhenSheWereAboutMen, ItWereObviousShe Hated’EmAsMuch AsIHatedTheTrollops. MyCock RoseFer’ErAllOnItsOwn.”

I was humbled by his confession; and I understood it. “I feel… If women had not been offered to me as a youth I would not have partaken of them. I understand you being attracted to the dignified ones. I feelthe same. I have to think a great dealon the pleasure to come, or about men, in order to rouse my cock with the others. And… Nay, I do not feel it is because the dignified ones hold themselves like men. Nay, it is something

else.” “IThinkItWasBecause SheDidNa’LikeMen. Nay,” he

quickly corrected. “IRoseFor’ErBeforeIUnderstoodThat. Nay, ItBe…LikeTheMoon, OrAThingO’Beauty. AThingO’Nature, Na’Man. SheWasBeautiful’Cause SheWeren’tMadeByAManAn’’AdNuthin’TaDoWithMen. TheOthers, TheyBeAllAboutMen. Lookin’LikeTheyThinkMenWant. Cooin’FerTheMen. ButSheWasJustAsSheWas. LikeTheGodsIntended.”

“I understand; aye, I understand verywell.”

He sighed. “ILikedSarahWhe nItWereJustUs. An’WhenSheWere Bein’ABitch, JustBein’’Erself.” He chuckled. “LikedRachelSometimes WhenSheWereLikeThatToo. An’Agnes, ThoughSheWereNe’erABitch. SheJustBeAgnes, AsTheGodsIntended. NoGuile.”

I thought to dispute himon that, but held my tongue. The cunning—mywife—occasionallyexhibited was not malicious.
“INa’BeRisin’Fer’Em, ButIDoRespect’Em,” he continued. “That’sWhatMakesMe Angry’BoutThatChris. ’EBeFullO’Guile. Na’LikeAMan.”
“I have seenmanya manfullofguile,”I said.
“YaKnowWhatIMean,”he huffed.
“Aye, I do. In his defense, however…” I sighed. “Well, despite my annoyance with his arrogance on occasion; and… I was first attracted to
her
, because of her dignity. I saw she was not like the other ladies, and I felt for her. She seemed to want so muchmore thana cock inher hand. I think that is whyI came to hate her even more than I hated Vivian. Chris knew—knows —better. Yet, as she tells it, I amto blame.”
Pete snorted. “’OwIsThat?”
“She fell in love with me, not because I was a handsome or charming man, but because I was different fromthe other men of her knowledge. I saw beyond her breasts and smooth skin: I saw her spirit and I admired it. And, I offered her a chance to fulfill her dreams. And then she discovered she was indeed a child of Venus, a feminine creature of love, and she realized I would never sate her desire to be loved as she wished, as a woman; because I do not love women in that way, and my heart was held by Gaston. So her love turned to hate, and she lost herself to the only method of battle she had been taught— feminine guile—and she tried to hurt me—not Gaston. And, of course, he saw what she was about, and that part of him that is mad, yet sees truth, decided to… duelwithher, perhaps.”
He sighed and scratched his head. “INeedTaThinkOnThat. IDone SomeMeanThings WhenIWereYoung. ’CauseO’Love.”
“So did I,” I said sadly. “And I was the recipient of the same.”
Shane filled my mind, and I wondered yet again ifhe had trulyloved me, or…
“Stay’Ere,”Pete said. “IWantMoreFood.”
“So do I,” I said. “I have not eaten yet, and I do not think Chris has, and…”
“I’llSendYurMatelot.”And withthat, he was gone.
I fumbled around until I found the log he had been perched upon. I listened to the night. As always after being so engrossed, I hoped Spaniards had not been listening to our conversation. I supposed if they had been, they had become so engrossed they had decided not to fire. Then I worried about cayman creeping closer like marauding wolves in the darkness. Theywould not care about that whichwe spoke.
The eyes ofthe beast that attacked me came to mind:the dull blackness of them, and then even that little light failing as Pete and Cudro’s blades struck home. It minded me ofwatching Shane’s eyes during one of his attacks. His dark eyes filled with wine and desperation, and then the light dying when he spent himselfinme.
Gaston found me with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. Being my matelot, he knew as soon as I croaked a greetingto let himknow where I was. He held me for a time, and then I ate the hunk of meat he had brought and told him of my conversationwithPete.
“I remember gettingrise at the sight ofanother boy—and once a monk,” he admitted. “I had been ashamed, but they had been beautiful. Then that night occurred, and then I did not get rise at anything until you; though I suppose I might have been moved to it on occasion if I had not been so wounded. I have seen some men cast in the formof the Gods here, and I suppose I have wished to rise to honor them.”
“I suppose that is it, a salute to beauty, and not necessarilya thingoflust,”I said.
“Now, why were you crying?” he asked kindly with a kiss uponmycheek.
I laughed weakly and told himof my strange comparison ofShane to the cayman.
He was quiet for a time, but then he asked with a thoughtfultone, “How would youfeelifCudro and Pete fellupon Shane withblades?”
I smiled into the darkness and answered easily. “Sad.”
“Because it was not youwieldingthem?”
“Nay, because… he is just a stupid beast. He just… he

wanted me, as I wanted him, and then the world told him no,

wanted me, as I wanted him, and then the world told him no, and… he became mean, like a baited dog or bull. He was too damn stupid to see what he wanted and that it was possible to stand against them. Or, if he did not lack the intelligence, he lacked the courage. He was a vicious loginthe streamofmylife, and I amone veryluckybastard—inthat I was never like him.”

Gaston chuckled with me. Then he sobered. “Non, you are one luckycentaur, witha verybigheart.”
“And a holyman, do not forget that I ama holyman.”
We held one another and laughed. Then it turned to sloppy kisses; and I prayed to the Gods there were truly no Spaniards about as I pulled him to me—especially when I was further distracted byhis makingme do allthe work.

One Hundred and Four Wherein We Experience Change

We saw another boat shortly after we set sail in the morning. Cudro steered us to deeper water, and we watched the little vessel—no larger than our craft—sailnorth past the inlet we had vacated. With a worried face, Cudro adjusted the sail yet again, and took us evenfurther out to sea.

“If there is a port to the south, how will we know we have sailed past it?”I asked.
He sighed and shrugged his massive shoulders. “When we runout ofcaymanmeat and water.”
I grunted my reluctant understanding. He was absolutely correct:we had little choice.
Gaston and I decided we did have a choice about sating our carnal appetites upon our tiny vessel, though: our compatriots and their woes be damned, we would enjoy ourselves. On our first night far fromshore, my matelot engaged in a slow and thorough plunder of my arse; and then we ignored the glares we received inthe morning.
On the second night, Gaston woke me after his turn at the helm, and told me he had just washed his cock. With a quiet laugh, I obliged his request, and soon had his member in my mouth while he lay far up in the bow and gripped the boards

behind his head. I took mytime, kneadinghis arse cheeks, toying

behind his head. I took mytime, kneadinghis arse cheeks, toying withhis nether hole, and findinggreat amusement and satisfaction in the groans he attempted to stifle. At last he could bear no more, and he pushed my kerchief away and caressed my scalp as he always did just before he found his pleasure. Then it overtook him, and he held my head firmly on his cock as he pumped his hips with one last groan. I prepared a little joke about how he must have washed within as well, because he surely tasted as salty on the inside as he did on the outside; but as I left his member, I felt his body stiffen. With alarm, I looked up at him and found him looking over me. I turned and found four sets ofbright and staringeyes under the newly—risenmoon. Then Pete’s eyes closed and he gave a great, satisfied grunt and slumped against the gunwale. Only then did I see he had a hand in his breeches. Cudro followed mere moments later—with a heartychuckle.

“You are animals,” Chris said quietly with a mix of disgust and wonder. “Everyone ofyou.”
“I don’t have a hand in my breeches,” Ash hissed from the tiller.
“You best not: you’re steering,” Cudro said with amusement before pattinghis baginto shape and settlingdownto

sleep. “And that—what they did—what Will did—was

disgusting,”Ashadded.
“Youwouldn’t saythat ifyouever tried it,”Cudro said. “As ifanyone would do me sucha favor,”Ashgrowled. Cudro sighed. “You’re correct. I’ve never done that

for… anyman.”He sat up and looked to me. “I meanno offense

 

for… anyman.”He sat up and looked to me. “I meanno offense to those that do,”he said to me.

I sighed. “I take no offense. It is truly quite enjoyable. Youshould tryit.”
“The next time I have someone to tryit on, I will,”Cudro said witha snort and a glare at his former matelot.
Ashgrumbled somethingunder his breath.
“StrikerBeStubbornOnTheMatter,” Pete said. “WeSeenYaTwoAtIt Afore, An’’ERefusedTaTryIt.”
I could well imagine how that had gone. “Did you ever attempt to put his cock inyour mouth?”I asked wryly.
Pete snorted disparagingly and grinned. “YaSayItYurself, IBeMore StubbornThanTheGods.”
I laughed.
“You are all disgusting and pathetically selfish,” Chris

said. “I amnot,”I said.

“I do it for Will,”Gastonsaid.
“Aye, he does it for me,”I added.
“Fine, then
most
of you are pathetically selfish,” Chris

said.
“WouldYaDoThatForAMan?”Pete asked.
“As opposed to a woman?” Chris asked archly. “Nay,

neither, and never!”
“I have done that for women,”I said withamusement. “You sir, are a whore,” Chris said with a surprisingly

teasingtone.

 

I laughed again. “Never for money, my dear lad: I am

 

merelywanton.”

merelywanton.”
Gastonand Cudro were laughing.
“SoWhatDoYaDoOnAWoman?

LickTheLittleNubbyThing?”Pete asked quite seriously. “Aye, precisely,” I said. “In truth I have only done it
twice, and in both cases it was as a matter of arousal and initial
titillation for the lady. I did not proceed until she found her
pleasure. They came on my cock and not my tongue as it were.”
And I did not mention that I had been quite pleased to tarry only
briefly in those furry forests, as both women had not bathed as
mymatelot did, and thus were quite rank.
“Have you had other men put their mouths on you—
aside fromyour matelot?”Cudro asked.
“Nay, and nayfor womenas well. I was always afraid of
their teeth.”
This elicited great guffaws fromCudro and Pete. Ash was staring at the star he was steering by with great
determinationand little expressiononhis beaked face. Chris’ fine features were knotted and furled witha mixof
bemusement and horror.
“What have I said that would so disturb a young
gentleman who surely lost his virginity to the chambermaid?” I
teased.
Chris looked away to shake his head tightly and hug his
knees.
“HowDoesItTaste?”Pete asked.
“Which, cock or pussy?” I asked, with even more
amusement at his serious tone.
“Jism,”he said.
“Jism,”he said.
“Arghhh!”Chris howled at the skyand drubbed his heels
on the deck before shuddering quite comically. “I am going to

retch.”“Salty,” I said, and watched Chris throw himself down

 

onthe deck and writhe as ifinpain.

As amusing as his antics were, they were not in keeping with the proper reaction of a young gentleman to such information. I nudged him with my foot. “And how do you find your pleasure, good sir?”

He quickly sat and glared at me. “What would you have me say? I take myselfinhand like anyyoungmanshould?”
“Do you?”I teased.
Eveninthe dimmoonlight I could see himflush.
“So you truly would have me pretend to find lust and seek to satisfyit?”he asked.
I sighed. “It is a thingmendo.”
“It will be noted if you do not,” Gaston sighed. “Before Will… I was wounded in my heart such that I did not feel… desire. And it was ever noted by my shipmates. They accused me ofbeing a eunuch, or being impotent,
and
of being womanly; and then many ofthembecame angry because they realized I did not favor men, and then they thought I sat in judgment of them. There were voyages where I sometimes pretended to take myselfinhand inorder to keep themquiet.”
“Aye,” Cudro rumbled. “Many thought you were arrogant. You wouldn’t take up with a matelot, and you wouldn’t watch other men or pleasure yourself. It was noted, as yousay.”
yousay.”
“So this is truly a thing I must learn?” Chris asked. “Damn you all,” he added with little rancor. “I do not know… What should I do: stroke this bulge we have fashioned and grunt?”
“Well, aye,”I said. “There is… well, not muchmore to it than that, but there is technique and nuance to… pretending correctly. Some men act as if they are performing for the stage, others are quite quick and tidy. You will need to establish your… form. As you saw tonight, though they both stroke and grunt, Cudro and Pete vary in their facial expressions, the speed oftheir stroking, the angle oftheir arms, and so on.”
My words apparently breeched Ash’s stony silence: he cursed and chuckled, adding to Pete and Cudro’s loud and unrulyshows ofmirth.
“I do not watch any of you do that,” Chris said with frustration.
“NextTimeIFeelTheNeed, I’llLetYaKnowAn’Ya CanWatchAn’Learn,”Pete said.
“Ohthank you,”Chris said levelly. “I amsure that willbe instructive.”
“Well,” I teased, “In the name of your learning the finer variations, I say we alltake ourselves in hand in the morning light and give youseveralexamples.”
Chris sighed heavily. “Wonderful, now I have something to look forward to on the morrow.” He plumped his bag and lay down with his slimshoulders forming a determined wall between himselfand the rest ofthe boat.
We all—save Ash—laughed silently in some belated, tokenact ofrespect for Chris’ discomfiture.
I turned to Gastonand was rewarded withhis hand upon my member. I laughed harder, but with even less sound, as he propelled me to the Gates and beyond.
I woke to cursing. The sun was just breaking the horizon. It took me several moments to determine the cause for the excitement; then I too was cursing with surprise and wonderment. There was a mountain in our path—or rather, a highrockyrange ofmountains.
Cudro was questioning everyone who had taken a turn at the tiller last night. Allswore theyhad stayed oncourse.
I stared at the sun. If I faced the bow—and thus the unexpected mountain—the sun was very clearly off my left hand. “Cudro, is there any reason the sun would be rising someplace other thaninthe east?”
“Nay,” he snapped with frustrated gruffness. “Those mountains are to the south. Aye, very south. The land must jut out before it goes around the southeasterntip.”
He pointed to the west. There was land there, too. “The coastline must be more uneven than we thought. It’s not describing a gentle arc, but a strong curve to the southeast, and then this mountain range jutting due east. I can only hope it curves back to the southonthe other side.”
“There should be waterfalls and streams coming down it,”Gastonsaid.
“Aye,” Cudro agreed, “water won’t be a problemgoing ‘round it, but food…” He sighed. “It might be best if we hunted over there where the land is stillflat.”
Gastonand Pete were nodding. I sighed and shrugged.
Cudro set our course toward the flatter shore, and we sailed along it until we spotted a grove of fruit trees. We all agreed we could at least gather fruit if nothing else presented itself. We found a small cove bounded to the east by a low rocky outcropping, and beached our craft. Pete wished to hunt, and he suggested Chris accompany him. Chris agreed, and then Ash decided to join them. Gaston offered to stay with our vessel and fish. Cudro and I were left withgatheringfruit.
Sometime into this endeavor, Cudro turned to me with an odd, phallic-shaped fruit. “We should have done as you suggested this morning,”he said witha grin.
“Please yourself,”I said withequalcheer.
“Non,” he grumbled. “The moment is passed. It would have put me ina better mood this morn, though.”The tight worry creased his features again.
I shrugged. “Cudro, we sailuntilwe get there.”
He shook his blockyhead. “I know damnwellthis island is not a great mystery, and we shall not fall off the world or any such thing. It has a certain size, and we shall sail around it. But I worryit willtake so longthat the fleet willhave sailed bythe time we reach our destination. When I told you all how long it would take, I was thinkingofa larger and faster vessel.”
“Ifthey have sailed, then we shallsailon,” I said. “Oui, it would be best if we could find a French ship, but that is not our onlyoption.”
“I suppose I would not care how long we sailed, either, if I had a matelot,” Cudro said with a touch of venom, only to quickly shake his head and throw his hand up. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. Myproblemis not yours.
“Non, truly,” he added, “it was good to see someone enjoyingthemselves.”
I had wished to snap that I had not suggested they accompany us, or that we took this route, but I relinquished my anger inthe face ofhis contrition.
“It is not without a care,” I said. “We are all on edge. There is little to be done for it. Perhaps we should all take ourselves inhand as oftenas possible.”
He sighed. “I don’t know what I would think on at the moment to spur me on. If I think of past lovers, it angers me. And I cannot evencontemplate future ones.”
I chuckled. “A man is truly morose when his cock is so mired in thought it cannot rise,” I said lightly even though I well knew how true and poignant my words were, and what sorrow suchshallow sentiment could mask.
“I know, I know,”he groaned. “Yousee myplight.”
“Well then, think of arses you might never plunder. Pete’s for example.”
“Or yours,” he said with a guilty grimace and then a smile. “That enticingarse wigglingyouwere doinginmydirection while pleasuring your man last night was what brought me to