Rachel Golden and the Retriever of Sin (15 page)

RACHEL, KEL, ROS AND AC STOOD LOOKING INTO THE MOUTH OF THE TUNNEL. No one wanted to be the first to set foot inside. They had lit a couple of lanterns, and the yellow light they cast showed rough rock walls and the remnants of some ancient rail tracks. Things scuttled in the shadows of stones. ‘I call not first,’ Ros said, raising a paw. His gesture was quickly followed by Rachel and Kel. They all looked at AC.

‘Fine,’ the little man said, puffing out his chest, ‘I’m not scared.’ He pulled his razor toothbrush off his back, and with an astonishing ninja-flip move he skewered a caterpillar that had been inching its way up the wall. He crushed it onto the tip of his weapon and it began glowing like a firefly. ‘Bioluminescence,’ he said with a sniff. Everyone was a little grossed out, but impressed. As he was about to take a step inside, a cute little bark from behind them made everyone turn.

A seal pup, white with black spots, had followed them into the tunnel mouth. It looked up at them with big brown shining eyes. ‘Aw!’ Rachel said. It
was
pretty frickin’ adorable. She took a step toward it and bent down to pet its head. ‘He’s so cute…’ she began, before the seal’s eyes flashed to red and it snapped at her hand with fanged jaws.

She jumped, pulling her hand away, and staggered backward. The seal flopped closer and hissed at them, and Rachel backed further into the tunnel. That was unexpected. The seal had gone from cute to skin-crawlingly terrifying in a second. And since when do seals
hiss
?

‘Uh, maybe we should get going,’ Kel said. He pointed past Rachel’s shoulder. When she turned she saw at least a dozen more of the seals flopping their way up the beach. They couldn’t move very fast on land, but looked hungry and menacing.

‘Good idea,’ she murmured, and the whole group advanced into the tunnel, casting nervous backward glances. The seals were following them.

The floor of the tunnel rose gently as they walked, and was fairly well clear of rocks. Assorted Colors was on point, leading the way with his improvised light. ‘How did you know that caterpillar was bioluminescent?’ Rachel asked him. The little man squinted at her and frowned at the glowing goo on the end of his toothbrush.

‘Didn’t,’ he said. ‘I just wanted to kill it. I was as surprised as you when it glowed.’ Rachel looked a little horrified.

‘I believe they call that “serendipity”,’ Ros said. ‘Hey. Who wants to sing a song to keep our spirits up?’ he asked the others. ‘I know a good one by Jefferson Airplane.’

‘I swear to god, Ros,’ Rachel said, ‘if you start singing “White Rabbit” again I’m going to scream.’ They walked on in wary silence for a while, occasionally looking back to see if the seals were following. If they were they couldn’t move fast enough to keep up with the Hero party. ‘And what’s with you anyway?’ she said. ‘You’re the biggest chickenshit I’ve ever met. Shouldn’t you be terrified of the seals?’

‘Oh they wouldn’t hurt me,’ the dog said, wisely. ‘We’re practically cousins. They used to call seals “sea dogs”, you know. Ever hear that expression? And “land lubber” means “land lover”: a non-sailor.’

‘That’s fascinating, Ros,’ Kel said, ‘and I think you might just get the chance to test out that theory. We have a problem.’ Rachel and Ros looked up to where he was pointing. In the glow of the lantern a heavy iron grate blocked the tunnel ahead of them. A large padlock secured it from the other side.

They turned and looked back down the tunnel they way they’d come. Rachel thought she heard a distant bark. Could the seals have
known
about this portcullis? Had they just unwittingly walked into a trap? Her pulse quickened. ‘AC,’ she said, ‘get back down the tunnel. See if the seals are still following us.’ Assorted Colors snapped off a salute and ran back the way they’d come. ‘Kel—see if you can move the grate.’

The Safeguarder set down his lantern and squared his shoulders. Despite the danger they were in, Rachel couldn’t help but notice his muscular shoulders. She was thankful it was dark in there and no one could see her blushing. He bent his knees, gripping the rusted bars of the grate, and heaved. The metal creaked a little under the pressure, but didn’t budge.

‘Not a chance,’ he said, straightening up. ‘The thing must weigh a ton, and it’s rusted.’ Rachel reached through the bars and tried to twist the padlock around on its chain. That was strange. Despite the gate being corroded and ancient looking, the padlock seemed almost brand new. It was modern, without a spot of rust on it. It could have been put there the day before. Could she pick it? Possibly. If she knew how to pick locks. Which she didn’t.

Assorted Colors ran back up the tunnel, out of breath. ‘Bad news, guys,’ he panted. ‘They’re coming. And that’s not the worst of it. The ones we saw before? Uh, I guess they were just the babies.’ Rachel turned back to the gate and shook it. Kel was right. No way in hell was it gonna budge.

‘Suggestions anyone?’ she asked, trying to keep the panic out of her voice.

‘You could try and reason with them,’ Ros said. He had scrambled up a large rock, maybe six feet high, and was perched on top of it.

Rachel held her lantern high and scanned the walls and floor. For the first time she noticed that the ground was littered with bones. Some of them looked suspiciously horse-like. It seemed this was a feeding ground for the seals. ‘I wouldn’t get too comfortable up there, Danger Dog,’ she said, raising her lantern higher. The walls were stained green almost up to the ceiling. ‘I think all they have to do is wait ‘til the tide comes in.’ Ros looked up at the walls and gulped.

The barks and growls coming up the tunnel were getting closer. Kel picked up a large bone from the ground and hefted it like a club. For the second time Rachel cursed that they had come to the Altworld unarmed. Assorted Colors surreptitiously stepped through the iron grate to the safety of the other side. As they squared their shoulders for a fight, a light flickered in the tunnel beyond the grate, and they could hear voices approaching:

‘Yes, I know it does. You tell me that every day. Your hair goes both ways so you can crawl backwards through tunnels. Give it a rest, will you.’

‘Well, I’m just saying,’ a second voice said. ‘It comes in handy if you—’ It stopped mid-sentence as two figures rounded a corner in the tunnel and came face to face with the Hero party. The Hero party stared back in disbelief.

The first creature was a rabbit, white, and about the size of a hippopotamus. ‘Hey!’ Ros said, from up on his rock perch. ‘Look, Rach! A white rabbit. What were we just going to sing?’ The dog was grinning, and obviously found it hilarious.

The second creature, the one who had apparently been bragging about the directions his hair could go, was a mole. Pitch black and only slightly smaller than the rabbit. Maybe the size of a huge pig. Two massive front (paws? feet?) things were pink and strong and ended in vicious-looking claws. They stared too.

‘Uh, hello,’ Rachel tried.

‘Ohhh dear,’ the rabbit said. He pulled a carrot from somewhere and nibbled on it as he approached the gate. He peered around Kel, who had taken a step back, and tried to see down the tunnel the way they had come. ‘Seals coming, are they?’ he asked, with only mild concern, like he was asking if it was raining outside.

‘Yes!’ the Safeguarder said. ‘Do you have a key for this gate? We could really use some help here.’ The barks and growls of the seals were getting very close.

‘Of course we have a key,’ the mole said. He sat himself down on his hind (paws? feet?) things and pulled a fat earthworm out of an unseen pocket. It was as thick as Kel’s arm and twisted and squirmed as the mole bit its head off. The noise made Rachel’s stomach lurch and she looked away.

‘Well could you open the gate then?’ she asked, fighting the urge to gag.

The rabbit and the mole looked at each other, and the rabbit sucked his teeth. ‘Oh, the seals won’t like that, miss,’ he said, and took another bite of carrot. ‘They knows this gate is locked, see? That’s why they followed you in here. Knows they’ll get a good meal. If we let you through the gate they’ll be disappointed.’ The mole nodded in agreement.

Rachel tried to stay calm. ‘Yes,’ she said, gritting her teeth, ‘and I’ll be pretty frickin’
disappointed
myself, if I get eaten alive by a pack of murderous seals.’

The first of the seals was in the glow of their lamps now, maybe 15 feet from them, and coming closer. ‘That’s why we put up this gate, see?’ the rabbit said conversationally, chewing. ‘We don’t want ‘em coming through. Vicious little buggers, like you say miss.’ He made no move to open the gate.

More and more seals were approaching now. Kel threw his bone at the nearest one and cracked it right in the face. Unfortunately that just seemed to make it angry, and it began flopping toward them even faster.

‘Look,’ Rachel said, pleading now, ‘is there any way you can let us through? We’re going to
die
if you don’t help us!’ The rabbit and the mole looked at each other, then away from Rachel, as if they would like to help but were in an awkward position. Rachel risked a glance over her shoulder. Kel was swinging another bone desperately at the nearest seal, who was now within biting distance.

‘Alright,’ she said, ‘I didn’t want to have to do this, but… Get ‘em AC!’ The little man jumped out from his hiding place with a ‘hi-ya!’. He jabbed his prison shank at the rabbit. And the effect was… unexpected. The rabbit gasped and jumped to his feet. He was staring in horror at the weapon in Assorted Colors’ hands. The mole’s reaction was the same. ‘Uh, that’s right,’ Rachel said, a little taken off guard that AC—at eight inches tall—could have that kind of impact. ‘So you’d better just open up this gate, pronto.’

The rabbit reached into a pocket
in his fur
and pulled out a bunch of keys. With shaking paws he fumbled with them, dropping them as he tried to find the right one. AC made vague jabbing motions at the rabbit while he tried various keys in the padlock. Rachel looked over her shoulder and saw Kel swinging wildly at the three seals that were now attacking him.

When at last the rabbit found the right one, he swung the gate open and they all they all piled through, slamming it behind them. He closed the lock with a click and they all let out a sigh of relief. Rabid seals snapped at the bars, choking on their barks furiously.

‘Well, I’m sorry it had to come to that,’ Rachel said, trying to sound stern as she straightened up and dusted off her clothes, ‘but I think you’ll agree that—’

The rabbit cut her off. ‘I hereby arrest you for destruction of property belonging to the Crown. You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defense if…’

The Hero party stood there, dumbfounded, while a giant white rabbit read them Miranda rights. When he was finished all Rachel could think of to say was, ‘Uh… What?’

The rabbit pointed at Assorted Colors’ shank, and the squashed caterpillar on the end of it. It was still glowing faintly. ‘Is that, or is that not, the larva of a
papilioflamma
?’

‘Uh…’ Rachel said again.

The rabbit continued. ‘A butterfire larva? A butterfire larva that appears to have been crushed to death for the purposes of fashioning a makeshift lantern, by this… gentleman?’ He waved a paw at AC, who tried to hide the shank behind his back.

‘Uh…’

‘And as all butterfires and their larvae are property of the Crown, I hereby place you all under arrest.’

Before Rachel could say ‘uh’ again, Kel stepped forward. ‘Look—I’m sorry, I don’t know your name—there’s obviously been a misunderstanding here. My friend didn’t know that the caterpillar belonged to the Crown. If he did I’m sure he wouldn’t have killed it. And thanks so much for saving us by the way. But now if you’ll excuse us, we really need to be getting along.’ He gave the rabbit a charming smile.

‘Too late for that,’ he said. ‘You’ll have to go before the bench. I told you, you’re under arrest.’

Kel coughed politely, and smiled again. ‘I’m sorry, but as I said, we’re on a schedule and really don’t have the time to be arrested. Especially by, no offense,’ he turned and winked at the others, ‘a giant fluffy bunny.’

There was a scraping noise like stone on stone that made Rachel’s hair stand on end. The mole, who up until now had been silent, was raking a massive and extremely sharp and powerful set of claws down the rock face. Each one left a deep score mark in the rock. She swallowed hard as she imagined what those claws might do to her.

Now the rabbit was grinning. ‘Remarkable, aren’t they? My friend here can dig right through granite. Like it was nothing.’ Kel’s eyes opened wide as he looked at the gouges made by the mole. ‘I’m sorry, you were saying something about not having time?’

Ros stepped forward, laughing nervously. ‘Haha, no, we have time. Of course we have time. My friend was just kidding around. After all, you saved us from the killer seals. The least we can do is let you arrest us. You lead the way.’

The rabbit did.

THEY HAD LEFT THE DISAPPOINTED SEALS BEHIND and were now climbing a new tunnel, upward and into the heart of the cliff. Compared to the wet and slimy bare rock of below, this tunnel was warm and dry. White roots snaked out of the soil walls, and a soft green glow lit their way. Rachel could make out butterfire larvae in the rounded walls, and was beginning to understand why the rabbit and mole had got so mad—AC had squashed the living daylights out of one of their, uh, living daylights.

She was also a little bit concerned about what ‘going before the bench’ might mean. And what was this Crown the rabbit had mentioned? It sounded like they’d been arrested for treason. Granted, Assorted Colors had killed it for no reason, but it was just a frickin’ caterpillar.

As they walked they encountered a few more rabbits and moles, all of whom turned to stare at the prisoners as they passed. A few of them looked horrified to see the dead larva on AC’s shiv, and he hung his head in shame. Rachel felt bad for him. It wasn’t
really
his fault.

After maybe half an hour of walking the inclined slope, the tunnel opened out into a massive cavern. And it was the most amazing thing Rachel had ever seen. The roof towered maybe 100 feet above them, and huge stalactites hung from it. Crystals were embedded in the walls, and all of them sparkled and reflected a beautiful green light; light that was coming from what she assumed were butterfires.