Queen of the Dead (16 page)

Until today, apparently.

On the way to the hospital, I pushed the Dodge wellover the speed limit, risking a ticket. I couldn’t shake the irrational fear that somehow she would be unconscious againif I took too long to arrive.

Calm down. If she’s awake now, she’ll be awake in fifteen minutes.

Except maybe not. After Lily’s accident, I’d done a ton of reading about comas and people coming out of them (or not). Sometimes the person woke up for a day or even just a few minutes, seemingly coherent, only to lapse back into that unnatural sleep…or worse yet, to die. I’d read of that happening—the person waking up only to die shortly afterward—at least a couple of times. The articles had interpreted the occurrence each time as a gift from God for that person to have a chance to say good-bye.

I hoped like hell that wasn’t what was happening here. Though, honestly, I wasn’t sure what to think about any of this. Until this morning, Lily waking up even to say goodbye and then die had been far from the realm of possibility in my mind.

It was a relief, finally, to see the hospital in the distance, and then to turn into the entrance.
Almost there.

Of course, it seemed like everyone in the world must have been at the hospital on this particular Wednesday, because the parking garage was full, and the lots were jammed with cars.

After ten minutes of prowling for a space in the visitor section, I finally gave up and pulled into the vast empty expanse that was reserved for outpatient parking. Mine was the only car in the entire row. Far more visitors today than patients, I guess. Whatever. Let them tow me. It would be worth it just to get inside.

I got out of the car and jogged to the main entrance, keys jangling in my hand. I didn’t even want to take the time to stuff them in my pocket.

The overwhelming stench of antiseptic and hospital filled my nose as soon as I pushed through the revolving door into the lobby. I hauled ass past the visitor information center in the middle of the lobby. I’d been here more than enough times to know where I was going, and though I probably technically should have registered as a visitor, I didn’t have patience for that this morning.

In accordance with everything else, the elevator took forever to descend, and then once I was on it, another eternity to reach the fifth floor.

When the elevator doors started to open, I twisted sideways to fit through and hurried down the hall, my Chucks squeaking on the newly mopped floor.

I heard Lily before I saw her, her voice drifting out into the hall. “And
I’m
saying I don’t care. I’d be more comfortable in my own clothes.” She sounded kind of pissed.

Being in a coma had certainly made Lily more strident. If there’d ever been anything that bothered me about her, besides her obsession with that asshat Rogers and his crowd, it was that she tended to roll with things as they happened, assuming everyone else knew better than she did. Not anymore, apparently.

When I reached her open door, the sight inside was still a bit of a shock. Lily was sitting up in the bed without any visible means of support, though she was listing slightly to one side, and glaring daggers at a doctor whose hair stood up in all directions, like every strand was trying to escape his head at the same time. Mrs. Turner sat at her bedside, just like usual, only it seemed like she might float away with happiness. She seemed physically lighter, less beaten, now unburdened by the worry for her only daughter.

Lily looked…good. Different somehow, though. Maybeit was just the color in her cheeks and the furious glint in her eyes, or simply that it had been so long since I’d seen her in anything but a dull and insensate state. But it seemed more than that, like someone had lit a fire within her.

I knocked on the door frame and watched as heads turned in my direction.

Relief, as clear as I’d ever seen it, washed over Lily’s face. “Thank God,” she said, which was a little weird. If anything, shouldn’t that be my line? I wondered what she was thinking for her to have that reaction. What did she remember about that last night? Did she think I’d avoided her call, still angry at her as Joonie had been?

“Hi,” I said, feeling a bit awkward for the first time. It occurred to me right then that I hadn’t so much as brushed my teeth before leaving the house. I’d showered last night after coming home from the theater, so at least I was relatively clean. But my arms were visibly scraped up after my fall through the stage, and if I had to guess, I’d bet that myhair wasn’t in any better shape than the doctor’s. All in all, a fairly disreputable picture.

Mrs. Turner, dark circles under her eyes and looking alittle frazzled, performed introductions. “Dr. Highland, this is Will Killian, the friend Lily has been so anxiously awaiting.”

I nodded at the doctor, who seemed less than pleased at the interruption.

“Can we have a minute alone, please?” Lily asked.

“Don’t be rude,” Mrs. Turner scolded mildly. Then she turned her attention to me with a knowing smile. “I’m sure you have lots of catching up to do.”

Lily rolled her eyes.

Mrs. Turner stood and made her way to the door, followed by Dr. Highland. “Don’t be surprised if she doesn’t remember some things,” he said to me quietly as he passed. “She’s having a little trouble with details.”

“Just because I didn’t remember a few names,” Lily muttered.

“Including your own middle name?” Mrs. Turner inquired from the doorway.

Lily huffed.

“She’s also experiencing some personality shifts,” Dr. Highland said carefully. “Again, not uncommon in these types of head injuries.”

I nodded.

“I’ll give you a personality shift,” Lily said under her breath.

Whoa. Okay…

“Just try not to upset her,” the doctor said with one last exasperated look at Lily.

Then he and Mrs. Turner left, closing the door partially behind them.

Lily waved me closer, and I obeyed, moving to the side of her bed. “Listen,” she said in an urgent whisper. “I know you’re not going to like this, but I don’t have time to break you into this gently. I need you to get me out of here.”

“The hospital?” Who was this girl? The Lily I knew would never have dreamed of going against her mother and probably an entire team of doctors. “I don’t know if—”

“No, not the hospital,” she hissed impatiently. “Out of here.” She gestured to herself, hands on her chest.

I shook my head, confused. “I don’t understand.”

She grimaced. “I was afraid of this.”

She took my hand in hers and tugged me down to her until we were eye to eye.

“I’m not Lily, as you should damn well know,” she said evenly. “Lily’s gone. You’re the one that told me that, remember?”

Cold washed over me, and the world spun. Pieces of two separate puzzles I’d thought unrelated snapped together, forming a complete picture. Alona missing. Lily unexpectedly and unbelievably awake and in possession of a personality that seemed nothing like what I’d known of her.

With my heart pounding too hard, I stared at Lily’s familiar heart-shaped face—the sprinkle of freckles acrossher nose, the crinkles near the corner of her eyes that suggested her eagerness to laugh, the jagged but healing scarfrom her accident—and the equally familiar but definitely un-Lily-like determined glint in her light brown eyes, whichwere even now narrowing in that haughty yet almost sexyway that was the trademark look of disdain for only one girlI knew.…

“Alona?” I asked through numb lips.

I
knew it would be bad when Will figured it out. That’s why I’d kept my call for help so general. I couldn’t take the chance he’d be so angry he wouldn’t come to the hospital.

And yet somehow, seeing him make the realization, put all the pieces together, it was worse than I’d imagined. Maybe telling him on the phone would have been better.

He went pale, except for two spots of red high up on his cheekbones, and he looked like I’d punched him. No, he looked like I’d punched his mother and then stomped on him for good measure.

Will pulled back from me and dropped my hand like it was on fire.

I’d been expecting this, and yet it still hurt to see that expression of disgust on his face.

“You did this to get back at me?” He wouldn’t meet my gaze, and his fists were clenched at his sides.

His accusation shocked me. “No!” Okay, I’d set out to prove a point, but it wasn’t that one. I’d just wanted toshow him I didn’t need him. Yet I’d accomplished the exact opposite.

He shot me a look brimming with fury and skepticism.

“Seriously, do you really think if I set this up to gloat, I’d be in a hospital gown?” I plucked at the loose pale blue fabric at my neck. “Things just got out of control.”

“I can see that,” he said tightly.

“Hey, this is your fault, too,” I snapped.

“This ought to be good,” he muttered, which kind of ticked me off. He really didn’t see his role in all of this?

“If you hadn’t gotten all caught up in G.I. Jane’s propaganda about the living being more important than the dead, and just delivered my message like I’d asked, I wouldn’t have been forced to go to these extreme measures,” I argued.

“So, I tell you no and that’s, what, a green light for you to start body-snatching my friends?” He scrubbed his hands over his face, and I noticed deep and angry-looking scrapes and cuts on the inside of his wrists and forearms. A twinge of concern made my chest tighten. When had that happened? Now was probably not the time to ask.

“First of all, it’s
one
friend, and it’s called body-
borrowing
.” I sniffed. “I was only using her hand. You know, like when I SAVED YOUR LIFE?”

He rolled his eyes.

“Except…” I bit my lip. “Something different happened this time.” I folded my arms across my chest, a gesture that felt both familiar and wrong at the same time. In keeping with her other curves, Lily’s chest was noticeably bigger than mine. No wonder Will had liked her. Yeah, okay, he was a leg guy—trust me, it was obvious—but boobs were still boobs.

“Clearly something very different,” Will said.

“Shut up,” I snapped. “You weren’t there. You don’t know what it was like.” I paused, shuddering at the memory of that complete and utter darkness I’d woken to. “Once it started pulling me in, I couldn’t stop it. It didn’t want to let go of me.”

“You ever notice how this is everybody’s fault but yours?” he asked.

I scowled at him. “Whatever. Just call me out of here, and then you can yell at me as much as you want, okay?” Well, not really, but whatever would get him to stop bitching and start summoning was a lie I could live with.

He hesitated and then shook his head slowly. “I don’t think that’s going to work.”

I felt the first pulse of true panic. “Why not?”

“Because if you were still my spirit guide, you would have shown up this morning in my room, like usual,” he pointed out. “Whatever you did…it changed things.”

I shook my head. “You don’t know that.” I refused to accept that idea or the growing fear in my gut that he might be right. “Besides,” I argued, “I didn’t
do
anything. It just happened.”

“You didn’t stick your hand in hers?”

“Okay, fine, yes,” I said with exasperation. “I did that, but I certainly didn’t set out to take her entire body.”

“No, that was just lucky,” he said.

“Do you think I want to be in here?” I shouted. “This is the
last
body I would have picked for myself. It’s short and fat and weak and—”

“I know at least one person who was pretty happy with it and might have enjoyed the opportunity to have it again,” he said quietly.

I remembered belatedly that this was his friend.
Good, Alona. Piss him off further. That’ll help.
“Look, I didn’t mean…” I gritted my teeth. “Can we please just stop arguing long enough to try to get me out of here?”

This
had
to work. It was my one and only plan. I didn’t have other ideas, which was not like me, but this wasn’t exactly a standard situation in which one could develop a backup plan or two, like what to do if you accidentally sit in spaghetti sauce in the caf.

Will’s mouth tightened, but he moved around the bed and sat down in the visitor’s chair that Mrs. Turner normally occupied. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

I waited a beat or two, but he didn’t say anything. “Are you trying?” I asked.

“I’m trying to concentrate, yeah,” he said, sounding annoyed.

I shut up.

A minute ticked by, and then another. I concentrated, willing the sensation of being pulled free to wash over me. I wasn’t quite sure what that would feel like, so I envisioned the resistance inside Lily’s body, the force that had drawn me in, clinging to me like black mud even as Will yanked me out with a loud suction-releasing pop.

But the trouble was, I didn’t actually
feel
anything, not pulled or tugged in any way. Not even a vaguely mystical tingle. Just the same tired, achy feeling that had been there since I’d woken up in charge of this body.
Crap.

Will opened his eyes and met my gaze, though I thoughthe might have flinched a little in doing so. “It’s not working,” he said.

“Yeah, I noticed. Maybe you’re not trying hard enough.” I could hear the shrill edge of panic in my voice. “Can you try, like, reaching in and pulling me out?”

In answer, he reached over and looped his hand around my wrist, his touch warm and comfortingly familiar even though he was angry. “I’m not the one who could reach through people, places, and things, remember?” He waggled my captured arm at me.

“I can’t stay in here,” I whispered.

“You were certainly eager enough to get in,” he said.

Tears filled my eyes and slipped down my cheeks with virtually no resistance. Crap, Lily was a crier. “You were leaving me behind, just like everyone else!”
Damn it, Alona, keep it together.
“What was I supposed to do?”

He raked his hands through his hair. “I don’t know, but hijacking someone wouldn’t have been on the top of my list.”

“It wasn’t on mine, either!” I wiped my face, the back of my hand jolting and bumping over the unfamiliar terrain.

He let out a slow breath. “And I wasn’t leaving you behind. I hadn’t made any decisions about—”

“The fact there’s suddenly a decision that needs to be made kind of says it all, don’t you think?” I asked.

“That doesn’t justify—”

“I never said it did,” I said quietly.

His expression softened a little bit, but that was it. Hedidn’t hug me, didn’t make a move to comfort me. Not that I expected that exactly. I’d known he wouldn’t be in the forgiving mood anytime soon, if ever, but it didn’t stop me from wishing that he would be. I could have used just a little sympathy, even if I didn’t entirely deserve it. It wasn’t like this was easy for me, either. But he was cold and distant, maybe even more than he’d been the first time we’d ever talked.

“We just need to figure this out,” he said, rubbing his forehead like it hurt. “If you got in, there has to be a way to get you out.”

“What about your books?” I asked.

He looked at me blankly.

“You have all those books at home about ghosts and the afterlife and—”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I didn’t miss all the chapters on body-borrowing. And before you ask, I doubt there’s an instructional video on YouTube.” He shook his head. “I didn’t even know this was possible.” He frowned at me. “It must be something different about you. Or Lily, maybe. Or some combination. If ghosts could take bodies all the time, people would be nothing but a revolving door of spirits. We need more information on how this works.”

I bit my lip, and then stopped, feeling horribly self-aware. That was not my nervous habit. When had I started doing that? My go-to fidget was to bite my thumbnail, though I’d spent years breaking myself of the habit.

“There was a priest here earlier,” I offered finally. “He seemed to know something wasn’t right. Like maybe he thought I was…well, Lily…was possessed.”

He jerked back, as if considering this idea for the first time. “Possession.”

I knew what he meant. This wasn’t like any depiction of possession I’d ever seen, though Will had probably watched more of those movies than I had. But there was no struggle here, no violence, no head revolving backward. It was more like two seat-belt-buckle halves clicking together, just not necessarily the ones intended for each other.

“If I told Mrs. Turner to bring him back…”

“No,” Will said immediately, and if possible, he turned a shade paler. I guessed that answered my question about what happened to exorcized spirits. Oblivion. Nothingness.

“Are you sure?” I asked. “Maybe if we asked him just to kind of, I don’t know, do it halfway or not full power?” Maybe a mixture of holy water and tap water or something instead of the fully leaded version?

He stared at me. “Are you really so shallow that you’d risk being turned into nothing?”

“Are you really that determined to have your friend back?” I shot back.

He gave me a disgusted look. “Don’t make it about that. You couldn’t care less about her.”

Mrs. Turner poked her head in the door, startling both of us. “Is everything okay?”

“Just another minute…Mom,” I said, almost choking on the word.

She nodded and backed away, but I suspected she wasn’t going far. “They’re going to want to take her…me home soon,” I hissed at Will. “I can’t do that.” Pretending to be someone else was exhausting, and for some horrible reason, I felt compelled to get it right. Or as close as I could. I hated seeing the occasional flashes of hurt and confusion that crossed Mrs. Turner’s face when I behaved more like me and less like the daughter she knew. It made me feel like I was taking a test and failing with every question. I wasn’t used to
failing
at anything. The idea of sitting at their kitchen table or whatever, trying to act like I recognized things and remembered people…God, I couldn’t even imagine that kind of pressure.

“When?” Will asked.

“Tomorrow, maybe the day after.” God, what if I was still stuck here then? Three days as Lily Turner? The last twenty-four hours had been more than enough.

“We’ve got a little time, then,” he said, seemingly more to himself than to me.

“Time for what?” I asked.

But he just shook his head.

“You have an idea,” I accused.

“Not a good one,” he said grimly.

I sat up straighter, automatically correcting for my left side, which was weaker, thanks to the initial accident damage and the surgeries that had apparently followed. Lily had some serious scars, even beyond the one on her face. “I don’t care. I’ll do anything. Tell me.”

But he just shook his head.

“What, so now you’re keeping secrets?” I asked.

He glared at me.

Okay, so maybe not the best response in terms of avoiding hypocrisy, but this was my life at stake…sort of.

I had sudden flash of insight. “It doesn’t involve
her
, does it?”

“Who?”

“Mina, Little Miss Rambo of the spirit world.” I flungmy hands out to encompass the room and everything beyond it.

He made a face. “It’s a little more complicated than that.”

“Which means, what, yes, you’re going to tell her?” Panicked, I didn’t even wait for his answer. “She’ll box me for sure.” Not existing would be bad. Existing as little separate pieces, each perhaps aware and alert forever, might be worse. “She got rid of Mrs. Ruiz just for slamming a few doors, so—”

“And almost killing me,” he pointed out, turning to face me.

“—what do you think she’s going to do to me when she finds out about this?” I gestured down at myself.

“Maybe you should have thought about that before,” he said.

I stared at him.

He grimaced, started to speak, stopped, then tried again. “She was my friend, Alona, and you didn’t care. You did what you wanted, no matter who it hurt.” He shook his head. “I thought you were changing, that you were different now, but I’m not sure anymore.”

I felt tears sting my eyes again. “What are you saying?”

“I don’t know.” He lifted his shoulders helplessly. “I’m going to do my best to get you out of there because Lily deserves that, her family, too, even though it’s probably going to kill her mom. But after that…I think maybe we should go our separate ways.”

Even though I’d known this was a possibility, somehow it still took me by surprise and I couldn’t breathe for a second. Tears poured, hot and wet, down my face, splashing down on the front of my hospital gown.

Will was unmoved. He stood up.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can. Keep her phone with you.”