Pushing the Limits (32 page)
MORGAN
Natalia was sent home in a cast and restricted to using crutches four weeks ago and has another four weeks left. Thank God, because her hormonal mood swings are driving me insane.
She’s not happy about it at all since school is ending for her soon and she’ll have to spend part of her summer on the couch, but once I bribed her with her own Amazon account to buy books and magazines, she perked right up.
I’ve seen Aspen in class twice a week for the past month and it’s been the worst few weeks of my life. Nothing compares to seeing her at the hospital after that first week, only inches away from me, and not being able to touch her. I so desperately wanted to wrap my arms around her, kiss her lips, and beg her to say we can work this out.
On top of that, Claire’s been glued to my hip more than usual. Always ‘popping’ into my office to say hello or invite me out to lunch or coffee. I’ve turned her down every time, saying I was too busy with grades or was bowing out early to run errands. She smiles and says ‘Okay, maybe next time’ and I always agree, but I have no intention of ever being alone with that woman again if I can help it.
After my brief and pathetic lunch break, I head back into my office and notice a note left on top of my desk. For a split second, I anticipate seeing Aspen’s handwriting but know she’d either call or text me if she had something to say.
I flip it open and sigh when I see it’s from Claire. Another invite I have to decline.
Why can’t this woman just get the damn point?
Instead of calling and rejecting her, I head down to her office to put an end to this once and for all.
Her office is just down the hall from mine, but when I reach it, I hear her voice on the other side of the door speaking loudly on the phone.
I can’t hear what the person on the line is saying, but her voice is so nasally, it echoes through the door with each loud syllable.
“Oh yeah, she totally bought it. Stupid undergraduate twit.” She starts laughing as the other person speaks. “Well, no, not yet. But he’s coming around. In fact, I’m pretty sure we’ll be hooking up by summer. It only gives me a couple more weeks, but hell, look at me. He won’t be able to resist for long. He’ll be over that Aspen girl the moment I get him alone.” My blood boils at the sound of her name. She’s talking about me and Aspen…and something she did.
Before I can stop myself, I push the door open and stand firmly in the doorframe. Her jaw drops the moment she sees me and begins stuttering to her friend that she has to go before clicking the receiver button.
“Morgan, hi.” Her eyes light up in an attempt to act as if nothing is wrong. “Did you get my note?”
I step inside and slam the door closed behind me. I walk in front of her, leaning my palms flat on top of her desk. “What the fuck did you do?”
She leans back, her eyes widen in fear. “What do you mean?”
“I heard your conversation, Claire, so quit the shit. What did you say to her?”
“What’s it to you?” She leans toward me in her chair, crossing her arms in a challenge. “Student-teacher relations are against the school’s policy. You should know that,” she says in a condescending tone, speaking to me as if I’m a child.
“That’s none of your fucking concern. Now tell me what you said to her. You did something to scare her away, and I’m not leaving until you tell me.”
“Or what?”
“I’ll file a sexual harassment suit against you. I saved every single note and email you’ve written me. I’ve also declined your offers seven times in the past semester. One complaint and you can kiss that promotion goodbye.”
Her brows furrow.
“Yeah, I know about that. You’re applying for the art advisor position. How do you think a sexual harassment complaint will look on your record?” I challenge right back, her body slouching in defeat.
She sighs, gritting her teeth as my words soak in. She has no choice now.
“I told her to break up with you,” she finally confesses.
“Why?” I ask harshly, demanding.
“Because I wanted you for myself. Hasn’t that been obvious?”
“I’ve never given you any reason to think I was into you. Haven’t
I
been obvious?”
“I just thought you were playing hard to get.”
“You apparently thought wrong. What did you threaten her with?” I ask, leaning closer to her. “What could you possibly have to hold against her?”
“Her scholarship and grad school references. Your career.” Her lips tilt into a satisfied grin. “You both just made it too easy. So much at risk…for what? An easy lay?”
My hands tighten into fists, her indifferent tone feeding my anger. “You’ve no idea what you’re talking about.”
She rolls her eyes. “Is she really worth your career? You have a child to take care of now. Don’t throw it all away and ruin your lives just for a meaningless hookup.”
I snort, backing up and rubbing the scruff on my chin. “It’s unfortunate.”
Her eyes narrow as her upper lip curls in confusion. “What is?”
“That you can’t possibly have a compassionate bone in your body. Just because you can’t possibly understand how it feels to be with someone who makes you feel good all of the time and someone who can change your life for the better, doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t.”
I don’t bother waiting for a response. I head back down the hallway, lock up my office and run to my car.
I head straight for the gallery. I know Aspen doesn’t work on Wednesday afternoons, but Aunt Mel does.
And she’s the exact person I need to speak with right now.
Aunt Mel and I speak in her office for at least an hour. I tell her everything, from falling for Aspen to the Ariel Rose Collection Paintings, to Jennifer, expecting a harsh lecture in return, but she only smiles.
“Why are you smiling?”
“You youngins always think you’re so much smarter than us old folks. I had my suspicions. Ever since I asked her to take you around for the tour, I saw a look in your eyes. Then I’d see you visiting, finding any reason to go look for her. The night of the life drawing workshop…” She flashes a sweet smile. “I saw the way your jaw tensed the moment you saw her up there. I watched you draw her, seeing something else that everyone else was missing.”
“Wait…
what?
”
“You think I’m too old to see when two people have chemistry, Morgan?”
I laugh, because what else can I really do? “I can’t believe you never said anything.”
“I may be losing my mind most days, but after the way Jennifer broke your heart, I never thought you’d move on. I wasn’t sure if you’d even come back home, but you did. And now you deserve your happiness, too.” She smiles. “Even if she is your student,” she finishes with a sly grin.
“Yeah, that’s kind of the problem.”
“Well, aside from that. What did you do to screw it up?” She raises a brow when I give her a puzzling look. “That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? To confess the truth and find a way to make it up to her?”
“It’s not what I did…it’s what I
didn’t do
.” I should’ve known better. I could see how much it was hurting her to say those words, so why didn’t I fight harder? Why didn’t I tell her I’d do anything to show her we belong together? Instead, I walked away, allowing her to think she didn’t matter to me at all. She sacrificed her feelings for my career, scarified our relationship to make sure no one else found out. Now I need to prove myself to her—prove that I’ll always fight for us.
“Ah…well, if you want my advice, which trust me you do, you need to do something big—romantic gesture big!” Her hands expand in front of her. “
Big
!” she exclaims with a snarky laugh.
“You’re right. That’s exactly what I’m going to do.” I smile and round her desk, wrapping my arms around her. “I had no idea being home would feel this good. I would’ve been home a lot sooner.”
“Well, better late than never.” She smiles sincerely. “Now…get going. You have a lot of work to do.”
I shake my head with a laugh as I head out the door. “Yes, ma’am.”
ASPEN
“Cheers to our last final!” I say way too loud, but Kendall and Ellie raise their glasses and clink theirs with mine.
We all throw our heads back and down the shot. I cough as the alcohol burns down my throat, but I can’t even find the means to care. Today was the last day of finals, which means a whole summer to start fresh. Seeing Morgan in class twice a week has been torture, but I got through it. My heart may have been wrecked, my mind a clusterfuck, and my body weak from sleepless nights, but I made it through.
I’ve introduced Ellie to Kendall and Zoe, knowing she’d make a great addition to our single ladies group. Basically, it’s a nice way of saying how sad and pathetic we all feel. But Jack Daniels never fails to please us.
“Philosophy was a fucking bitch,” Kendall exclaims.
“I told you showing up would earn you at least a B. How hard can that be?” I sip on my Jack and Diet Coke.
“Because, apparently, showing up is one thing, but snoring during class is a huge no-no.”
Ellie snorts, nearly spewing alcohol out of her nose. Laughter fills the air between us and soon, Zoe walks over, telling us she’s cutting us all off.
“Ugh, you can’t do that!” I whine. “This is a celebration!”
“I think you’ve celebrated enough.” She deadpans. “I’ll call you ladies a cab.”
“Don’t be a stick in the mud!” Kendall pouts, clinging to Zoe’s arm. “I’ll find a really cute guy and bring him home for you. You’ve been low on the D for a while.”
“Oh, that usually cheers me right up,” Ellie adds, making us all laugh at Zoe again.
“I need a new job,” Zoe groans, ringing up our tab and telling us to wrap it up so she can call a car for us.
“Speaking of job,” Ellie slurs. “Any chance they’re hiring where you two work?”
“I can ask Ms. J. What kind of job are you looking for?”
“One that pays.” She snorts.
“I’ll see what I can do,” I offer with a smile.
After we pay our tabs, I take one last drink before grabbing my clutch and heading out. Our cab is already waiting for us, and since tomorrow’s the first official day of summer, I offer to let Ellie crash at my place, which is a true testament of how far I’ve come these last few weeks. After reading Ari’s old notebooks and my time with Morgan—as short lived as it was—has really put me through a spin cycle of devastation and then recovery. Using the information of Ari’s past has given me a sense of closure, as devastating as it was to read.
Morgan’s helped me more in these past few months than years of counseling did. I never thought I was capable of giving part of me to another person, but he’s proof that I can.
“Jesus, Aspen. It’s like a museum in here.” Ellie walks down the hall, studying all the pieces I have hanging on the walls.
“Oh, I have a lot more. I just hung up my favorite ones.” I grab an extra blanket and pillow from my room and bring it out to the couch for her. “Sorry I don’t have an extra bed. The couch is pretty comfortable, though.”
“Oh, it’s fine,” she says spinning around and walking back toward the living room. “Thanks for letting me stay.”
“Anytime.” I smile internally at how easy that comes out. A few months ago, having someone stay here, in my personal space and surrounded by all my art pieces, would’ve given me an anxiety attack. However, the thought of people seeing and asking about them doesn’t freak me out as much anymore.
“Wanna stay up with me for a while?”
I can barely keep my eyes open, but I say yes anyway. I grab my comforter and pillow and sit on the chair across from her.
“Can I ask you something?” She looks at me.
“Sure.”
“Have you ever been in love?”
I swallow. I hadn’t expected
that
kind of question. “I’m not really sure. Sometimes when I think back, it feels like it was going in that direction. As quick as it happened was as quick as it was ripped away. I’m almost positive, had it worked out, I would easily have fallen in love with him.” The corner of her lip curls up in a genuine smile. “What about you?”
“Yeah, I was in that really, really deep can’t-stop-thinking-about-you kind of love. It was intense. My body lit up any time we were together and once it was over, I felt lost.”
“I know that feeling,” I say.
“It’s the absolute worst.” I nod. “But if I had to go through it all over again, I would just to feel that again.”
“Yeah, me too,” I agree. “I want to believe that everything happens for a reason, but some days are harder than others.”
“Destiny has an evil way of teaching us the life lessons we’re meant to experience.”
“So you want to tell me about him?” I prompt.
She smiles and lays her head against the pillow. “Maybe at breakfast.”