Princess: Nuance Of Love Book 1 (14 page)

“Every single one of them.”

“I don’t understand, you’re marrying me
for that amount of money, why?”

“What do you mean why?”

“Why are you marrying me for that
amount of money? Your father owns a country, your mother is an
international jet set whose shares alone is worth many times that
amount. So when you said that you wanted to divorce after some
prudent time, are you going to walk away with it? Do you know that
my personal asset is worth more than that? When my parents
separated, my mother left me everything that corresponded to her,
so you would be richer if you stayed as my wife.”

“It’s not about the money. I want it to
be independent. Like I told you before, I want a new start” She
said firmly, “Why would I want to be the wife of a man whose heart
belongs to someone else?

“So you want to go away and start a new
life with the three million dollars?”

“Bingo!”

“And what about your
family?”

“Family? What family? Oh, you mean the
one who emotionally and physically abandon me since I could
remember? Who thought of me only when I served a purpose? They
never worried about me, why on earth should I worry about them?
I’ll do what they want me to do, and comply with my obligation,
than live my own life.”

“How can you think like that? Okay, I
understand about your father, but what about your mother,
she…….”

“My mother? She wouldn’t mind. She
never cared what I did in the past, as long as I don’t get involved
with boys, because I might lose my virtue. But being a divorcee,
there’s nothing that she would worry about anymore. I have nothing
and no one to tie me down, I’m practically alone.” She said with a
sadness in her voice.

“Don’t be upset if I ask you this, but
is there someone waiting for you?”

“Someone waiting for me?”

“A person, a man, whom you plan to
spend the rest of your life with after……, after you leave
me.”

“No. I…...I don’t have anyone.” She
added softly as though speaking to herself, “In this world, no one
is waiting for me, who cares about me anyway?”

“Will you do one thing for me?
Please.”

“What is it?”

“Don’t say that anymore. Don’t say no
one cares about you and that you’re all alone.”

“Because of my family?”

“Because of me. You have me, you’re not
alone. I care about you!”

Paramita looked at him and smiled.
“Thank you. That’s kind of you to say that.”

He moved closer and held her shoulder
gently, “I’m serious.”

She shook her head, took a deep breath
and said, “Don’t look at me with pity, I’m not a pathetic person. I
had a good upbringing, Mak Noor was always by my side, and she had
always been like a mother to me. And no matter what, I am fortunate
and have many things to be grateful for, my education, good
clothing, travel, and many other privileges that maybe is like a
dream to most people.”

He smiled, “True.”

“You know what’s so funny?”

“No, tell me!”

“I’ve never felt love before, and now I
have to marry a man who’s probably going to hate me for separating
him from his the woman he loves. With a rich and powerful father, I
still don’t have the things that I want the most.”

“And what is that?”

“To be loved, to be desired, and to be
missed.” Her eyes were becoming wet, “Your girlfriend is lucky,
because even though she can’t be with you at this moment, but your
heart is with her. I wish I had somebody who felt that way for me.
“She paused, “You’ll have to excuse me, I need to go to the
restroom for a moment.”

She walked away without waiting for him
to reply. Ali watched her as she walked away, he was silent,
putting his hand on his chest feeling a sting caused by her
words.

* * *

Paramita stood in front of the big
mirror, breathing in and out, in an attempt to control her
emotions. There was nothing that she wanted more to do than splash
cold water on her face and refresh herself, but smudging her makeup
wouldn't be a good idea on an occasion like today. She wet her
hands and gently shook it before pressing her dampened palm on her
neck. That made her feel fresh and calm. She took a good look at
her face in the mirror to make sure that her makeup was not
damaged, then walked out of the restroom.

She had barely walked a few meters when
she heard a whistle from behind her. Instinctively she looked back,
to her surprise it was Hafiz.

Chapter Twelve

“Can we talk? Please.” He said while
making a begging gesture with his hands.

“What is it?” She said while walking
over to him.

“Let’s talk outside, come
on.”

They walked together to the
terrace.

“What is it that you wanted to talk to
me about?” She said once they arrived.

“Since when did you become so mean and
impatient?” He asked.

“Since…... never mind! How have you
been?” She changed the topic.

“I’ve been good, it’s been so long
since we’ve talked like this, hasn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“Do you hate me?” He asked
gingerly.

“How can you think that? I don’t! Do
you? Do you hate me?”

“Of course not. Well, I used to, I mean
you did break my nose. But I have grown up since then, and I
realized that I had it coming. If I was in your position I would’ve
done the same.”

“I do apologize again. Not for punching
you, you deserved it. But for shunning you off all those years. I
was out of line. I mean whatever happened between you and Laila, it
was not my place to judge you. But you have to understand, she
suffered a lot, and as her friend, that made me hurt for
her.”

“I understand. But now that’s all
behind us. Can we be friends again?” He said while extending his
hand.

“How do you do, my name is Mita.” She
said while taking his hand.

“And my name is Hafiz.” He said with a
smile. “It feels like a giant weight has been taken off my
chest.”

“I know what you mean.” She said in a
cheerful voice.

“You know, my parents thought initially
that I was the one who was supposed to marry you.”

“And is that such a terrible thing?”
She asked.

“Not for any other man, but at the
time, it was terrible for me. Don’t give me that look.” He quickly
said seeing the expression on her face. “It’s not what you think. I
mean, I say that it was not a good thing for me back then, because
ever since we met you have always been one of my best friends,
someone I hold close to my heart, and you’re very dear and valuable
to me. I couldn’t imagine us being married and changing the way we
interact with each other.”

“I don’t know if you are trying to
insult or compliment me. Why are you still an air-head?”

“I’m not trying to insult
you.”

“I get it. So I’m one of your buddies
on of the guys, and marrying me, will make you feel…..how should I
say this, homosexual?”

Hafiz sighed in relief, “Thank you for
understanding.”

“I’m not understanding your reasoning.
I’m understanding that, only someone like you can come up with
something like that. And, because you are one of my best friends,
and I accept you the way you are, therefore, I accept that silly
idea of yours.”

“Why do you think it’s silly?” He asked
not sincerely not understanding her.

“Hafiz, have you ever thought why I was
so good to you, why I was upset with your relationship with Laila,
and why I chose not to talk to you after what happened?”

“I have my theories, but I think this
is a situation that calls for me to listen instead of
talk.”

“That’s good you know as much. Hafiz,
the truth is, in the past I had a big crush on you. I was actually
heartbroken for a long time because of everything that happened
between us. I’ve always looked at you from behind, followed your
every movement and held to your every word. I hoped that one day
you would feel the same way for me. But the one girl after another
came and left, and Laila, I finally realized that you would never
see me as anything more than a friend. It took me some time to get
over you, but the distance that I put between us helped me a lot.
Now I can look back and not feel anything. I admit, you still stir
my heart when we bumped into each other, but it’s only in a
fraction of minutes. Like right now, I’m standing here talking to
you, and I don’t feel anything more than friendship.”

“I’m sorry I never responded to your
feelings for me.”

“Maybe, if you were not so selfish and
bratty, you would have seen it.”

“I admit, I was that way. But like I
said, I’ve changed.”

“Yeah, right.”

“I mean it. Look at you, you’ve changed
too. You’re not the weird-looking, insolent and stubborn girl
anymore. You’re a beautiful young woman now. A
princess.”

“And your older brother’s fiancée,
which means that pretty soon, I’ll be your older sister, and you’ll
have to start calling me with honorifics, and you can’t call me by
my name anymore!” She said.

He turned serious, “Are you sure you
want to go ahead with it?”

“What the marriage?”

“Yes, you know that he has a
girlfriend, they’ve been together for three years.”

“I know.” Her voice softened as she
looked down to the floor.

“Then why? Why continue? He’s not going
to make you happy, you deserve someone who will love you and
appreciate you, not use you and neglect you. Why throw away your
youth in a dead end marriage?”

“Don’t worry about me, I’m not as naïve
as you think.” She said. “Let’s go back.”

“Wait, don’t go.” He tried to stop her,
seeing that she had no intention of staying, he finally said. ” I
always knew how you felt about me.”

“What?” She stopped and turned
around.

“I always knew, how you felt about me,
from the beginning, I knew. But back then, I was immature,
superficial, and arrogant. I was embarrassed to be more than
friends, because of your appearance. I was a guy who wanted a
trophy girlfriend in his arm, not a plain and even weird-looking
one. I wanted to look cool and have other guys envy me. That’s why
I was always with the hottest girls in campus. I’m
sorry.”

“I don’t understand. So you wanted to
make other men envious, that’s why you only dated girls for a short
time?”

“I never intended to keep changing
girlfriends, but none of them could make me feel happy and
fulfilled emotionally, I never felt compatible with any of them.”
He explained.

“I don’t know what to think. What about
Laila? Was she the same? She was not one of the hottest girls in
campus, she was a normal and decent girl. If you dated her it must
be because you felt something for her?”

“I did feel something for her. I felt
that she was the closest one to the person who made my heart
happy.”

“What are you trying to
say?”

“I realized after it was all too late.
The one, that I loved, was you, all along, I loved the way you
speak, the way you act, the way you were. That’s why I could never
have a long-term relationship with any of them. Because they were
not the person I loved.”

“Oh, and you just realized this now?
After I had money? Now that I wear designer clothes, expensive
makeup, and jewelry. All of this is making me look acceptable in
your eyes? Didn’t you say it yourself that the thought of marrying
me, made you feel gay?”

“That was back then. But now I realized
these feelings, because…… because I can see that I’m actually going
to lose you. Because you’re going to become someone else’s. In the
past, you’ve never had anybody, even though you distanced yourself
from me, but you never got involved with any other man. Deep down I
never wanted you to fall in love with anyone else. But now you’re
getting married.” He said while taking her hand.

“You sick bastard, stay away from me.”
She said while pushing his hand away.

“Mita, listen to me.” He moved forward
and grabbed her shoulder. “Don’t be angry, please listen to me,
first.”

“Let go of me, you sick bastard.” She
began to raise her voice. “Don’t make me hit you, because I’ll do
it for sure.”

“Calm down, don’t be angry, please….”
He said while pulling her closer and moving his arms around her
waist holding her tightly.

Paramita’s heart raced like crazy, as
his face came closer, his lips only a few centimeters away from
hers.

“Let go, don’t make me do something
that I will regret….”She said snapping out of a trance and trying
to push him away. There was a tidal wave of mixed emotions, strong
enough to tear her apart from the inside, all those years of
wishing something like this would happen, and now that it has,
everything was already too late.

“What’s going on here? Hafiz, let her
go! Are you out of your mind?” A familiar voice shouted behind her.
Ali pushed Hafiz away, freeing Paramita who fell limp into his
arms.