Princess: Nuance Of Love Book 1 (5 page)

Madam Soraya toned down a bit, “I kept
it a secret because it’s embarrassing, but now I’m telling you
about it, so you should do what he orders, that way your poor
mother will not end up as a beggar on the streets.”

“Mama, can’t we consult a lawyer or
something?”

“Do you hate me? Do you want my past be
exposed to public and have people judging me and pointing fingers?
I left our country to find a new life to get away from all
that.”

“Of course not, Mama. I will do as you
say. But please, no more drinks, okay?” Paramita bowed her head in
defeat.

“Good, remember that you should protect
your purity, don’t put your parents through shame and dishonor! I
didn’t raise you here in England to become a harlot! I want you to
avoid friendship with men.”

“I understand.”

After that conversation, Paramita fell
into a state of resignation, she thought that it was no use to
rebel against her life. Yes, at the end of the day, she can’t
escape from who she is and where she came from. Dreams and plans
for the future were like a mirage to her.

* * *

She returned to college to the
surprised reactions from her friends towards her new style and
taste in clothing. There were even rumors circulating that she won
a small fortune in the lottery and could afford good stylish
clothes and cash in her pocket.

The surprise was actually on her, when
that night Laila came crying to her room. She was two weeks
pregnant.

“Is it Hafiz’s?” Paramita asked with a
shaky voice.

“Yes, yes it is.”

“Have you told him? What did he say? He
should take responsibility!”

“Every time we mention about a serious
relationship and children he would say that he wasn’t ready yet to
be a father, and that his parents most likely wouldn’t agree for
him to marry me,” Laila said while sobbing.

“What do you mean his parents won’t
agree?" Are you saying that he was dating you and sleeping with you
without any intentions of marrying you?” Paramita can feel her face
heating up.

Without thinking twice, she went
outside her dorm room and ran around the college to find Hafiz.
After an hour of running around, she finally found him in the
garden with Rahmat. “Hafiz!” She growled, without hesitation she
threw a punch and hit him right on his face. Hafiz fell down on his
back clasping his face.

Paramita jumped forward to launch a
kick, when Rahmat held her back.

“What is wrong with you? You crazy
bitch!” Hafiz shouted while wiping the blood from his nose. “Geez,
I think you broke my nose, it bloody hurts!

“You! You are the worst type of man!
How could you? You’re shameless and irresponsible.” She shouted at
the top of her lungs.

“What are you talking about? It was you
who suddenly came up and punched me without a reason, what type of
woman are you? Are you even a real woman?”

Suddenly Laila grabbed her arm from
behind, “Mita, please, I haven’t told him anything yet, please,
it’s not his fault, he doesn’t know….” She said between
weeps.

“What’s going on Laila? What’s wrong
with this lunatic?” Said Hafiz while turning to Laila.

“Hey guys, let’s calm down,” Rahmat
intervened. “Come on, let’s sit down and talk about this. We
shouldn’t make a spectacle in front the other students.”

They all sat down in a circle. “Tell
him Laila, stop crying and talk!” Paramita said
impatiently.

“Hafiz…..I’m…..I’m…..” Laila hesitated.
“I’m pregnant”

Hafiz’s face turned pale, “How can that
be? We were always careful! You know that I can’t have children
yet. And besides, I told you that a marriage for me is not that
simple. My parents would kill me if they knew that I came here to
study but returned with a wife and baby.”

“What a sap, so you’re running away
from your responsibility?” Paramita said with anger, she jumped up,
lifted her hand ready to give him another punch.

“Mita, let’s leave, we should really
let them talk it out and not get ourselves involved in something
that has nothing to do with us.” Said Rahmat calming
her.

“You’re right, Rahmat. I’m going back
to my room. Laila, you know you can depend on me for anything.” She
said while standing up. Then they both turned away.

“Laila, take me to the clinic, I’m sure
my nose is broken, we’ll talk about this after I see a
medic.”

Paramita cried in her room. She was
heartbroken and disappointed. But she realized that she had to
forget Hafiz. In her eyes now he was just like her father, the
father that got involved with her mother with no intention of legal
marriage, the father who chose to pretend that she never existed,
and the father she never knew in person. Hafiz was not for
her.

Laila chose to have an abortion and end
her relationship with Hafiz, a choice that Paramita supported and
thought was the best decision. Why bring a child into this world to
be neglected? It was Paramita who stayed by Laila’s side during the
ordeal, taking care of her and being her support.

They decided to avoid Hafiz for the
remaining time they spent in Cambridge. He was a taboo subject
between them. And as time went by, she eventually stopped thinking
of him.

Until one day, he was
barefaced enough to ask her for a favor. He was on a quest to woo
Veronica a student from Spain. Who else could he turn to but his
friend who knew how to speak Spanish? He asked her to organize a
banner as a romantic gesture for his new target. Naturally Paramita
accepted the request happily. She ordered the banner and placed it
in the campus entrance,
“Veronica, Yo Soy
un Gran Hijo De Puta. Quiero Follar Contigo, Hafiz"

Chapter Four

Paramita woke up with a terrible
headache, but her heart and mind was calmer than the night before.
She was angry, hurt and upset. She never thought that Hafiz would
be forced back into her life again. If it would have been a few
years earlier, she wouldn’t have thought twice to say yes. But now,
after everything that happened, after everything she knew. There
was no way that she was going to marry him.

She was perfectly aware that there were
people who want to take advantage of her at this moment. And it
hurts even more to realize that her biological Father and Mother
are part of those people, each with their own interest at mind. But
she was equally determined not to show any weakness. If she had to
sacrifice herself, she has to make sure that she would not get hurt
in the process.

Since the beginning, she wasn’t stupid
enough to go against her Father the Sultan, so she was always ready
to take advantage of him, but in a different way. Ever since she
arrived here in Jothar, she only saw him four times, to her, he’s a
stranger. That’s why, she has absolutely no doubts to make use of
what he has in abundance. Money and power. If he was acknowledging
her as his daughter to put her through a political marriage, then
she will protect herself from any possible harm, physically or
emotionally.

A feeling of envy began to creep into
her mind. How is it that other people can have dreams, and have
people who love them? She never felt any warmth and love from
either of her parents. The only boy she ever fell in love with
shattered her heart to pieces and made her best friend pregnant.
She was pulled away from the future she wanted as an architect, the
dream job that she studied so hard for. And everybody expects her
to bow her head and accept without a word. She smiled
sarcastically, “I’m not going to suffer alone if they think it is
fair game to trample on my feelings. I can do the same.”

There was a knock on the door, it
opened and Noorhayati came in with a tray in her hand. “Good
morning, Puteri.” She said.

“Good morning, Mak.”

“Why didn’t you sleep properly last
night?” She said while observing Paramita’s face. “Your eyes have
dark rings around it.”

“There was something that I needed to
think about Mak. But don’t worry. I think I know what I’m going to
do. Can you please help me get some tea bags for compress,
afterwards help me prepare, I need to talk to my Father a bit
later. By the way, did you deposit the money I gave
you?”

“Yes, I deposited it in the bank
yesterday. I don’t understand you, why do you need to save most of
your allowances in the bank. Most young women your age will spend
it on clothes, makeup, and jewelry.”

“Mak, we never know when a rainy day
comes, it’s better being ready than sorry. Did you pick up the
jewelry that I asked you to buy?”

“Yes I did. And I ordered the jeweler
to make a set with zircon rubies and emeralds that match the real
ones that His Majesty Sultan gave you last week, the ones you kept
in the safe deposit box at the bank.”

“Thank you, Mak. Only you understand me
well. Make sure they use the finest white gold only and charge it
to the Sultan’s account as always.” Paramita hugged her nanny with
love, but there was a sadness in her voice.

Noorhayati left her for a while to get
the tea bags. Paramita went to her desk and sat down. She took a
manila folder and opened it. Inside was a bundle of newspaper
articles, reports and photos of the family Jothar’s Minister of
Foreign Affairs, Raden Hamza Bin Raden Abdurahman Bin Abu Hidayat
Bin Sultan Umar Sharif Uddin.

Raden Hamza is the second cousin of her
Father. They are about the same age, with her Father being only 8
months older. When Raden Hamza was 9 years old, he was brought to
the inner palace to be raised by the Sultan’s Mother because his
own parents were killed during an air raid by the Japanese troops
when he was a baby. He was raised by his grandparents. But in those
times life was hard for the people of Jothar, even for Royalty. The
newly independent country was still struggling to stabilize its
post-war economy and there was not enough infrastructure and health
services for everyone. The earlier Sultan took the son of his
cousin under his care, to raise him and personally educate him,
since at a time of uncertainty he felt that it was the right thing
to do for his next of kin.

At the age of twenty-five, Raden Hamza
married his first wife, Princess Latifa Binti Abdullah from an
Arabic Kingdom, she gave him a son Raden Burhanuddin Ali. They
divorced after two years for reasons not known to the public. Soon
after Raden Hamza remarried Nabilla, at that time before
converting, her name was Tan Mei Ling, she is the only daughter of
Tan Ping An, owner of Holy Mountain Investment Group a rich Chinese
conglomerate second in fortune only to the Sultan himself.
“Goodness, this Raden Hamza sure likes imported luxury goods.” Said
Paramita to herself. She continued reading, Raden Hamza and his
second wife have one son and one daughter. Raden Hafiz Adid and
Raden Fasiya.

Paramita put down the papers pensively.
“So if Raden Hamza is open-minded about marriage with foreigners,
why did Hafiz doubt so much about marrying Laila? Also, she was a
daughter of a very wealthy family, in fact, Laila’s family owned
shares in mining companies throughout South East Asia.” There was
no clear reason that she can think of. She scanned the report for
any news on Laila, but there were none.

She turned her attention to a different
subject, now she was holding a written summary for Burhanuddin Ali.
A bachelor in his early thirties, He studied in the United States,
at Princeton, he holds a Master in Finance. Currently works as
Director of Finance in a state-owned company. He has dated the
Indonesian pop star Dewi Chandrawati for 3 years now. Every year
there was news about their engagement plan, but nothing has ever
been concreted. There were a news report about how such a devoted
boyfriend he is, always assisting every concert she had in Jothar,
even going with her on her tours to remote cities. Photos of them
together, smiling at each other so happily, photos of Ali proudly
hugging her or Dewi hugging him and all other romantic poses. “Eww,
they probably have diabetes from all that sweetness.” Said Paramita
with disgust. She continued to read, Raden Ali is actively involved
in voicing clean governance and transparency in state and
private-held companies. He isn’t involved in politics, but as the
son of one of Jothar’s high government official, and being opened
in his political views, many media analysts expect that he will
soon dive into the world of politics.

She threw the report to the floor
angrily. She massaged her head that was beginning to pound again.
She opened her drawer again and took out a folded poster, she
opened it and spread it on her desk. “Hello Dubai…..” She smiled,
kissing the picture.

Noorhayati knocked on the door and came
in with warm tea bags. Paramita quickly folded the poster again and
hid it, she stood up and laid down on her bed. She covered her eyes
with the bags. “Mak, I want to wear my favorite purple dress today,
and I think I will combine it with the lace veil that I bought in
Sevilla. Also prepare my new jewelry that you brought back
yesterday.”

“Are you going to wear them to meet you
father? What happens if he finds out that the diamonds on that set
are fake? You can get the jeweler in trouble.”

“Oh Mak. Don’t be ridiculous, although
he is a smart man, but he's not a gem expert. I doubt he can
identify it in one glance. And even if he does, the real diamonds
are in my safe deposit box at the bank, no harm done.”