Pride's Prejudice (25 page)

"If
it's so hard to picture, then why did you leave her to him?"

William
felt like he'd just been slapped.

"You
have no idea what you're talking about," she scolded.  "Let me
tell you something.  The night she was with Jaxon, she came home
upset.  Do you remember?  It was the night those guys brought Lindy
home drunk."

"I
remember."  William tried to forget the image he'd conjured of Beth
in Jaxon's arms so many times - and focus on Jenna instead.

"And
after you dealt with them you went after Beth?"

William
nodded with clenched teeth.

"It
was a few days before I could get out of Beth why she'd been upset that
night.  Turns out, when Jaxon kissed her she didn't feel anything……until
your face popped in her head.  Both times."  Jenna smiled
triumphantly.  "She didn't know why.  But then you hugged her
and it happened again.  She told me that it felt……right…..to be there with
you like that.  Like déjà vu.  And, of course, that just made her
mad.  You know Beth."

William
listened intently, not trusting himself to speak.

Jenna
took his arm, walking again.  "She didn't see Jaxon again after that
night, William."

"What
do you mean she never saw him after that night?"

"I
mean she refused to even talk to him after you left.  She didn't even know
why.  All she had to go on was what you told her.  She trusted you
enough to know that she should stay away from him, even though you left her
without the whole story.  Not to mention she kind of secretly blamed Jaxon
for losing you.  He kept texting and calling, but she wouldn't talk to
him."

William
watched Jenna, not daring to believe her.  When he spoke his words were
slowly expressed, carefully constructed.  "So you're telling me that
the only thing keeping us apart is me thinking she can't forgive me, and her
thinking I can't forgive her?"

Jenna
smiled, turning back toward the shop.  "Now you know.  You'd
better make good use of the information.  She would kill me if she knew
what I just told you."

And
with that, Jenna checked her watch and began backing down the sidewalk. 
"I'm meeting Les at Macys to do our gift registry.  Can you handle
Beth?"

The
meaning behind her words was implied. 
Can I trust you to quit being a
schmuck and go take care of this?
  He nodded.

"Good,"
Jenna said.  "We'll see you at lunch."

When
William pushed back through the door of the chasm of pink, he caught his
breath.  Beth stood on a carpet pedestal surrounded by mirrors, looking
like a goddess plucked from her pantheon.  The seamstress had disappeared
and Beth stood facing the mirror, her back to William.  She hadn't noticed
him come back into the shop.  As she turned back and forth, looking at the
dress from different angles, William noted that it was more form-fitting now
that it had been pinned.  He watched her from behind, humbled by her
beauty and his recently acquired intelligence.  She drew her hair up into
her hands, and William guessed that she was trying to decide whether to wear it
up or down at the wedding.  Awe settled over him as he watched her,
appreciating the graceful curve of her neck and shoulders - something he hadn't
noticed when she'd had long hair.

As she
swiveled back and forth, Beth caught his eyes in the mirror, dropping her hands
and looking startled.  When he didn't look away, her startled look became
a steady gaze.

After
a moment Beth took her eyes away from his, looking around for the
seamstress.  "I guess she's finished the acupuncture now," she
informed no one in particular, trying to unzip the dress herself.

William
watched her struggle for a moment, her arms bent behind her at awkward angles,
her fingers groping for the zipper ineffectually.  He took a deep,
steadying breath and stepped up behind her, pulling the zipper down slowly.

Beth's
seemed to shiver as William's fingers brushed her skin.  Were his hands
cold, or was it something else?  Tearing his eyes from the skin of her
back, William set them instead on her face.  He hadn't really noticed
earlier, but her hair seemed lighter.  Had she dyed it?  Whatever
she'd done, the honeyed streaks brought out the green in her eyes and the glow
in her cheeks.  She was breathtaking.  William was pulled from his
admirings rather abruptly when Beth had to clamp a hand over her chest to keep
the dress from falling off altogether.

With a
nervous laugh, William stepped back and plunged his hands into his
pockets.  "You can take it from there, right?  I'll just……wait
over there."  And he found himself on the dreaded pink couch again,
with his heart racing.

SECRETS

"I
wonder who first discovered the efficacy of poetry in driving away love!"

~Elizabeth
Bennet, Pride & Prejudice

"So……how's
the dress?" William began awkwardly as they walked from the dress shop to
Fritz's music studio.

Beth
gave a wry smile.  "Didn't you know, the whole point of a
bridesmaid's dress is to make the bride look better?"

"You
don't like it?" he pressed, surprised.  "I think you look good
in purple."

"Smoky
plum," she corrected him.  "It's actually not too bad. 
Kind of tight though.  It may be a little difficult to breathe
tomorrow."

"Jenna
says you've lost weight since she ordered it," William informed her.

"She
told you I've lost weight?"  When William didn't answer, Beth pushed
on in a dark tone.  "She tell you anything else worth mentioning?"

"Nothing
comes to mind,"  William lied.  He prided himself on being
honest, but Jenna was the last person he would ever throw under the bus. 
"Have you been dieting?"

"Not
exactly," Beth hedged.  "Just trying to be more careful about
what I eat….portion control and all that."

William
tittered.  The only thing worse than a too-skinny girl was a girl who'd
had a perfect figure before she'd become skin and bones.  "Well, I'll
have to see what I can do to fatten you up a bit," he pledged.

"You
have a fetish for long hair and chub, don't you?"

William
stopped walking, swinging around to face Beth.  "You weren't
chubby…..you were curvy.  Pretty much perfect," he declared, waiting
for her to argue with him.  She didn't.  Instead she blushed and
looked away. 
Way to go William,
he told himself. 
Why not
just come out and say you want her body?  Better yet, just rip off her
clothes right now.
  William felt the tiniest bit of mortification, but
he wouldn't take any of it back.  He'd meant every word about Beth being
perfect.  And he still thought that, even if she was a few pounds shy of
voluptuous at the moment.

They
began walking again, and a few minutes later Beth spoke.  "So, this
Fritz guy - he's your cousin? 
Not
from Germany."

"Yeah,
he's my cousin.  He has a music studio just down here.  He plays the
guitar and the piano - does that whole singer/songwriter thing like you."

"Has
he recorded anything?"

"I
don't think so.  He's written songs for some of the big ones though, I
think."  William cleared his throat before continuing. 
"Have you…..written anything lately?"

Beth
kept her eyes straight ahead of her.  "Haven't had the time,
really."

"This
is us."  William hesitated in front of the door that read 10C. 
"About Fritz……he can be a little -"  Unable to come up with the
proper adjective, William finished with, " - just don't pay attention to
his clothes, his language, or any innuendoes he may or may not direct at
you."

Beth
quirked an eyebrow, her face betraying a hint of amusement. 
"Anything else?"

"I
think that covers it," William answered, praying that for today, Fritz
would be a little less…..Fritz.  Tugging the door open, he followed Beth
inside.

Fritz's
studio was pretty basic; it was a big, open room with a wood floor that
reflected sunlight from the city streets.  There was a piano in one corner
of the room, and a microphone perched on a stand next to it.  Behind the
piano there were a several different guitars propped against the wall. 
Aside from recognizing that some were electric and some were acoustic, William
had no idea why Fritz needed so many of the same instrument.

"Hey,
guys!"  Fritz bellowed, his gravelly voice echoing off the walls.

William
couldn't help wondering what Beth would think of him.  Fritz was your
garden variety musician, New York style.  He'd been mistaken for Jon Bon
Jovi on more than one occasion.  His arms were inked with tattoos, and his
lower lip was punctured with a diamond stud.  His wardrobe consisted
entirely of ragged jeans and t-shirts that could make a courtesan blush. 
Today his shirt had loopy cursive writing which was nearly impossible to
decipher on first glance.  That was probably best.

William
pulled his cousin into a one-armed hug and mussed his hair.  "Hey,
Fritzy."  And he added,
"Behave"
in his ear.

Once Fritz
had escaped, he turned to Beth respectfully with his arm outstretched. 
"Beth, I presume?"

Beth
took his hand, smiling but saying nothing when he kissed her hand.  Then
he released her, shaking his fingers out as if she'd burned him. 
"You weren't kidding, dude.  She's
hot!
"

William
inclined his head in agreement, and Beth blushed.  This, William knew,
would only encourage Fritz.  Putting an arm coyly around Beth and steering
her away, he said, "Seriously, though.  If Will doesn't pull his head
out soon, give me a call."

"Cool
it, Casanova," William threatened in a bored voice.

"What? 
You think she couldn't handle me?"  Fritz cast a disappointed
expression at Beth.  "He doesn't have much confidence in you,
honey."

"Oh,
I'm pretty sure there's nothing Beth couldn't handle,"  William
contradicted coolly.  "You, on the other hand, are out of your
league, my friend."

Fritz
looked hurt, which William knew was purely theatrical.  Then he slipped a
business card into Beth's hand, waggling his eyebrows.  "My number,
just in case."

William
rolled his eyes.  Fritz was really laying it on thick.  But Beth was
laughing, and she appeared to be enjoying herself.

"Sooooo……"
Fritz began smoothly, leading Beth to the microphone as if it were a bedroom,
"….my boy Will here says you can
wail
.  Let's see what you've
got."

Beth's
eyes widened in surprise and then darted around the room. 
"Okay……" she said, her tone uncertain.  Then she chose one of
the acoustic guitars from the wall and sat down on the piano bench. 
"I didn't realize this was an audition."  She smiled teasingly,
then began strumming.  "Do I get a golden ticket to Hollywood if I'm
good enough?"

Fritz
laughed heartily, then watched Beth with rapt attention.  Had William not
been certain that tattoos and body piercings weren't Beth's thing, he might
have been a tad worried.

Beth
sobered, cleared her throat, and then pulled off an effortless version of
Landslide.
 
She didn't even look like she was trying.  William remembered the night
she'd played
Moonshadow
at camp - how confused he'd been about his
feelings at the time.  How the only reaction he could offer was his
absence.  It seemed like so long ago.  Like the Beth and William in
this room were different versions of themselves.  If Fritz hadn't been in
the room, William thought it very likely that he would've pulled the guitar out
of Beth's grasp, chucked it across the room, and taken her in his arms.

When
Beth finished, all Fritz's repartee had vanished.  He actually seemed
speechless, which was definitely a first.  "You should…....definitely
think about recording," he finally managed.

Beth
waved that off.  "It's just a hobby."

"I'm
just sayin'," Fritz answered.  "Man.  Now
I've
got
stage fright."

Maybe
she hadn't completely stripped him of his sense of humor.  Beth just
laughed, looking up at William and shaking her head.

"So
what's this song, then?" Beth inquired.  "Is it one of
yours?"

"-
Ish.  Jenna gave me the lyrics and asked me to put it to
music."  After rifling through a manila folder he handed Beth several
sheets of handwritten music.

As
Beth looked it over, her mouth thinned into a hard line and color flooded her
cheeks.  Her eyes darted to William and then she pinned Fritz with an
accusatory glare.  "Jenna gave this to you?"

"Yeah,"
Fritz said slowly, clearly just as confused as William.

Beth
nodded once, then pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialed.  When she
spoke into the receiver, her voice was tight with sarcasm and barely controlled
rage.  "Hey.  Where are you?…….Is that close to Fritz's studio?……I'll
be there in
two winks
."  When she looked up, her placid smile
didn't conceal the fury in her eyes.  "Be
right
back,"
she promised sweetly, crushing the music in her grip as she left the studio.

William
scowled at Fritz.  "What was that about?"

Fritz
looked lost.  "I dunno, dude.  It looked like she wasn't too
happy with the music."  He swore, and William was glad Beth had just
left.  "I'll have to rewrite the whole thing now."  He
pulled another copy of the music from the folder and began scratching out
notes.

William
filched the music from him.  "She hasn't heard the music yet. 
It's got to be the lyrics.  Who did you say wrote them?"

"I
think she did."  He fished in the folder and found a page without
music, only a poem, and handed it to William, gingerly taking back his
treasured composition.

"Hm. 
That's weird.  I didn't think Jenna wrote poetry," William murmured
to himself.

"No,
dude.  Your hottie."

Understanding
dawned on William, and he looked down at the paper in his hands, scrawled with
Beth's writing:

Nothing

Here I
am

Left
with nothing

But
music I don't like

And
didn't even miss

Here I
am

In a
stained shirt

With a
stained face

Smudged
with madness for you

Love
rushed in against my will

I was
looking the other way

It
melted my skin like chocolate

My mouth
waters at the taste

I
breathe in the salty liquid

Relish
it more than air

I want
to stay in this chocolate ocean

But only
if you're there

Here I
am

Left
with nothing

The void
people fear

More
than anything else

Here I
am

Awake
while everyone sleeps

And you
are packing up

Leaving
town

Nothing's
not so bad

But I'd
rather have it all

William
clenched his jaw and swallowed.  Then he left his cousin's studio without
a word of explanation.

~:~

Beth
yanked the door to Macys open with more force than necessary and scanned the
room for her target.  Les and Jenna were standing at a glass counter
talking with a Macys employee, presumably about their bridal gift
registry.  She bee-lined for them.

"Having
a good time, are we?"  She looked from Les to Jenna accusingly,
trying to keep the delirium from taking over her voice and ignoring the person
behind the counter.

Les
smiled at Beth, oblivious to the anger rolling off her like thunderheads. 
Jenna looked surprised first and then confused.  When she saw Beth's hand
trembling and the papers in her grip shaking, she swallowed, kissed Les on the
cheek, and then she followed Beth outside.

"Beth,
let me explain -"

"Yeah,
go ahead, Jenna.  Go ahead and tell me how my poem ended up as your
wedding song.  This should be good."  Her voice cracked, a
couple octaves higher than normal.

Jenna
took a deep breath.  "It's a great poem, Beth.  You know I loved
it from the beginning.  And it would make my wedding day so much more
special to have your song, and to have you sing it!"  She sounded
like a time-share salesman, her voice rising as she listed the pros. 
"You said if you ever made it into a song it would have to be a duet - and
it's just perfect."

"Oh,
you mean because it's such a
happy, uplifting
song?  The kind of
song that two people in love who didn't
leave each other
would want at a
celebration to culminate their life together?"

"It's
not totally depressing," Jenna reasoned.  "The chorus is all
about not being able to live without that person.  That's how I feel about
Les."  Jenna tried to finish defiantly, but such a characteristic had
never been in her nature, and her voice shook slightly.

"Jenna,
stop!  Just stop it!  You know that I wrote this after William
left.  It's not even a song.  It's a blasted poem.  Anyone who
could actually put this to music has to be a
freaking
genius."

"Fritz
is
incredibly
talented, Beth.  I'll bet you didn't even hear the
music."