Pride's Prejudice (21 page)

~ PART
TWO ~

THE MISSIVE

"Be
not alarmed, madam, on receiving this letter….."

~Mr.
Darcy, Pride & Prejudice

Beth
sat at the kitchen table, pouring over her study guide for finals.  Winter
semester had been brutal.  In one way, it had been easier - at least
scholastically.  There had been no distractions in the form of
testosterone.  She hadn't had a real conversation with Jaxon before he
graduated his rescue program in February, not that he hadn't tried.  He
tried texting and calling several times, which only angered Beth.  When
you stand someone up, you should have the decency to apologize in person. 
Except that she had no desire to see him.  She ignored his texts and
didn't pick up his calls, and eventually, he got the picture.

For
Beth, he was somehow indirectly responsible for William's departure - or at
least for their squabble prior to his leaving.  If she was honest with
herself, she didn't feel that she had done anything wrong with Jaxon.  But
William's venom on learning of their encounter was still a bitter taste in her
mouth.  Last she heard, Jaxon had transferred to a different squad a few
hours away.

She
didn't feel the loss.

Whatever
he had done to upset William must have been pretty bad.  She wished
William had confided in her, but she told herself it didn't matter anymore. 
Again.

Anger
still bubbled in her stomach at the remembrance of William's words and his
anger the night he'd left.  She had tried to shove him into the mental
folder labeled 'JERKS' that she'd formed from her pool of past suitors, but he
just wouldn't stick.  It was unfortunate, but Beth knew inside that it was
because her feelings for William had been real, whether he'd deserved them or
not.  A stubborn thrill jetted up inside her whenever the memory of his
kisses imposed on her.  When she tried to squash it down, an uncanny
mixture of fury and longing filled her up.  Under all of her professed
hatred was a pure, undiluted pain.  And when it came right down to it, she
was just plain miffed that he'd finally gotten the better of her in the end.

At
least she'd pulled good grades out of winter semester, or thought she
had.  As long as she pulled B's on all her finals, she should have a 3.5
GPA.  She rejected the notion that her scholarly stardom was due to the
fact that she'd had nothing better to do for the last two and a half months.

Sighing,
she pulled her fingers through her hair - which she had recently chopped to
chin-length and highlighted - and coaxed it into a stubby pony tail. This was
no small accomplishment; she'd spent the weeks since the cut regretting her
decision almost every day.

There
was a soft knock at the door, which she answered with an unenthusiastic
"Come in."

Les
threw open the door, barely containing his obvious excitement.  Bless his
heart.  He and Jenna had relocated to Longbourn for Beth's benefit. 
They'd even cut back on all the goo-goo eyes and mushy lips for her sake.

"Hey,
Les."

"I
need a huge favor, Beth."  Les's eyes sparkled, and rolled up in his
hand was some sort of magazine.  Beth could see something sparkly on the
cover.

Laughing
half-heartedly, Beth set her pencil down and shoved her books aside. 
"Solitaire, round-cut, no swirls or gaudy stuff.  White gold or
platinum - she's never liked yellow gold."

Les
looked disheartened.  "She just wants a boring round diamond? 
Nothing fancy?"

"'Fraid
so.  But you could always make up for it with a huge rock."

Les
grinned hugely.  "How did you know that was my question?"

"I've
been waiting.  I just can't believe it took you so long to come and
ask."

Les
squeezed Beth in a one-armed hug.  "You're the best."

She
smiled ruefully.  The old Beth would have responded with, "I
know."  Some of her fire had been dowsed on the steps of Longbourn
the night she had walked away from William.  Nothing seemed quite as funny
to her as it would have before.  The world seemed to be shaded in sepia
tones rather than vibrant, beautiful colors.  And she trusted the world a
little less than she had before, which wasn't saying much.

But
Jenna's moment was coming, and soon.  Seeing her best friend happily settled
would be just as good as having that joy herself - maybe even better. 
Jenna was certainly far more deserving of a happy ending.

~:~

William
paced in front of Gianna's room.  She'd been in there ever since they had
signed the final papers this morning.  Most likely, she was swimming in a
pool of her own tears on the other side of the door.  Why wouldn't she let
him in?  The last thing he had wanted was for her to do this alone. 
It was the whole reason he'd come back.  Why couldn't he fix
everything?  He could feel his hero complex going south, turning into more
of an Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader thing.

Minutes
later the door opened and Gianna came out looking quite different than he had
expected.  There were no tear tracks on her cheeks, no telling splotches
on her shoulders, and her eyes were the same bright blue they always
were.  She looked almost satisfied.

"You
okay?" he asked, pulling her into his arms.

"Yeah. 
Just needed some time alone."

"You
made the right decision, sis.  They're a good family.  She'll be
taken care of."

"I
know.  I don't question it.  I know it's what's best for her. 
But that doesn't make it hurt any less."

William
hugged her tighter, wanting to scrunch her back into the child she'd been
before this whole mess.

Gianna
straightened up.  "Listen, I'm going to go for a short walk,
okay?"

"By
yourself?  No way.  Besides, it's freezing."

"William,
it's almost April.  Things are starting to thaw out.  I just need
some air."

"I'll
go with you," he offered, noting a small white envelope in her hand. 
"What's that?"

"Just
a thank you note to Les for the flowers," she answered a little too
casually, waiving her hand.  "It was really sweet of him.  I
feel bad it's taken me so long to send it."

William
reached out to take it from her.  "I can mail it for you."

"William,
the mailbox is just at the corner.  I'll be fine!  At some point
you're going to have to stop hovering.  It's been over three months since
I came home from the hospital.  It's time for me to move on, and it's time
for you to let me."

William
took a controlled breath, forcing a smile.  "Okay."

"I
might stop at the market while I'm out and pick up stuff for dinner.  I
feel like cooking."

"Okay."

"Good. 
Why don't you get out of here for a while yourself?  You've been cooped up
too long."

"Okay."

Gianna
went up on tip toes to kiss William on the cheek.  He crouched down
slightly to make it easier on her.  After all, she was barely over five
feet, and he was well over six.

"Have
you called her?" Gianna asked in an offhand tone.

William
feigned hearing loss, grabbing his keys and shrugging into his leather
jacket.  He gave her a look that he hoped closed the subject for now, if
not for good.

Gianna
tapped the card against her open palm, as if in deliberation. 
"Okay.  Well, have fun at the gym," she finally said, donning
her sweater and breezing past him out the door.

Why
did he suddenly feel like his baby sister was up to something?

~:~

Beth
lay on her stomach in bed, a small TV/DVD combo atop her desk playing
Titanic
. 
She must be a glutton for punishment.  Jenna came in the room and sat
quietly on her bed.

"Hey,"
Beth said, not turning.

"Hi. 
How's Leo?"

"Still
frozen and dead.  It's a shame.  The only guys like that are in the
movies.  It's all in the script."

"You
forgot gay or married."

"Well,
there is that," Beth agreed flatly.

Jenna
cleared her throat, which snared Beth's attention.  This had become
Jenna's habit whenever William's ghost was about to find its way into a
conversation.

"What's
up?"

Wordlessly,
Jenna brought a small white envelope out of her pocket and held it out to
Beth.  "This is for you."

Beth
scowled, taking the envelope - barren of addresses or postage.  "What
is it?"

"We
got a card from Gianna today, in the mail.  This was inside."

Beth's
eyes widened.  "Gianna Darcy?"

"Les
sent her some flowers when she was in the hospital, and she sent him a thank
you card.  I don't think William knows about this though."

William's
name constricted around Beth's heart with sharp, implacable fingers. 
"Why was she in the hospital?"

"I
think you better just read it, Beth.  I'm sure it will answer a lot of
questions for you.  It's still sealed."  Jenna kissed Beth on
the top of the head and walked quietly out of the room, closing the door softly
behind her.

Beth's
fingers trembled as she opened the letter.

Beth,

You are probably wondering who the
psycho is writing to you.  I'm sure Jenna told you I'm William's
sister.  From what William said, he didn't explain things to you very well
before he left, and I don't think that was fair.  You've probably seen how
protective he can be when he loves someone.  He can be a little 'mother
bear' when it comes to me.  Sorry about that.  It is an unfortunate
side effect of his practically raising me.  Anyway, you should know he is
moping around our place in New York and I know he's not happy.  I can't
stand to see him in pain, so I thought I would take the liberty of explaining
things for him.  If it helps, I don't think anything short of my current
circumstances could have taken him away from you.

About a year ago, I fell in love for the
first time.  He was so sweet and easy-going.  He made me feel
comfortable right away.  I was surprised that he never tried anything,
because he said he loved me, and that usually follows, right?  He was always
respectful and gentle with me.  William didn't know I was romantically
involved with him - they were kind of friends - and we both knew he wouldn't
approve.  One night he took me to a party and my naivety got the best of
me.  He was so respectful, bringing me a Cherry Coke, because he knew I
didn't want to drink.  He'd never given me a reason not to trust him - but
from William's description of you, you're a smart girl - and I'm sure you can
tell this story doesn't end well.  After the drink, I started feeling a
little fuzzy.  Jaxon's face was the last thing I remember seeing before I
blacked out.

I woke up the next morning, in a strange
bed, in a strange house, and he was nowhere to be seen.  As I stood up to
get dressed I felt a pain I'd never felt before, and I started bleeding. 
I had never been with anyone before.  When I got home William was furious
that I'd been out all night without telling him where I'd gone.  Then he
saw the tears and I told him what had happened.  I refused to tell him who
I had been with, knowing what would happen, but he knew.

A few weeks later I found out I was
pregnant.  William searched everywhere for Jaxon, but he'd packed up and
moved on by that time.  The police looked, but never found him.

William left Hartford to come home right
before I had the baby.  He said if I decided to keep her he would support
me, but he advised me to place her for adoption with a family who could care
for her like a seventeen-year-old couldn't.  I named her Merry Noel. 
William didn't approve, not of the name itself, but of my naming her.  I
held Merry for about an hour after the birth, and then I handed her to the
nurse and never saw her again.  It took three months to finalize all the
paperwork - in fact, I just signed everything today.  She is with a good
family now, but I still ache for her.  It was hardest after I came home
with stitches, sore all over, and nothing to show for it.  I don't know
what I would've been like if William wasn't here for me.  I'm doing much
better now.  I'm sorry that it took him away from you, though.

He told me he said some horrible things
to you the last time he saw you, and that he doesn't think you can forgive
him.  He's too proud to ask; so I am asking for him.  You've probably
noticed he has a temper, and he can barely control it when it comes to the ones
he cares about being hurt.  I don't know if he ever told you how he feels
about you, but take it from the person who's known him longer than anyone else
- he loves you.

I hope I get to meet you someday. 
From what I hear there may be a wedding coming up soon that will bring us all
together.  Maybe you guys can make a new start then.