Pride's Prejudice (20 page)

She
remembered seeing Jaxon's number under 'missed calls,' and suddenly Jenna's
evasiveness about answering her phone at Les's fell into place.  He must
have called again.

Reining
in the growing dread, and the simultaneous urge to get riled, she said,
"If you remember, I didn't answer my phone last night."  The
change in his manner made her want to retaliate.  How could he be mad at
her for a call she
hadn't
answered?

"I
wish you would have.  Then he could have told you himself how sorry he is
that you had to spend the night with someone you hate, and what a good kisser
you are.  At least we agree on that."  His face flushed with
color, hatred gurgling up and melting his icy persona.

Feeling
like he had just slapped her, Beth opened her phone and skimmed the offending
text.  "That was before.  Before the dance on Saturday, before
-"

"Yes,
and now it's, what, Sunday?  Pretty quick.  I never would have
guessed Lindy was family until now.  Are you guys having a contest or
something?"

Beth's
mouth fell open, and she suddenly felt like a child who had fallen off the
monkey bars at the playground and landed on her back.  She couldn't
breathe.  He had all but called her a slut, and she had no immediate
reply.  Seeing her face, William winced at her reaction, but made no move
to take his words back.  This fueled Beth's rage.

"And
I
would never have guessed that you could be so vindictive to someone
who was all but family.  Tell me something, William.  Why did you
kick him out?  Couldn't stand to see your spoiled sister with a
commoner?"  As the words left her mouth, she knew it wasn't the
case…..but she wasn't about to take his abuse lying down.

"You
don't know what you're talking about!" he spat, his face reddening.

"I
guess that makes two of us!"

William
advanced on her, so quickly that she flinched back.  "Oh,
really? 
Really.
  So you didn't have his lips all over
you?"  His words oozed revulsion like an infected sore.

"No. 
I.  Did.  Not. 
He
kissed
me -
twice - on the
mouth.  Nowhere else."

William
looked disgusted.  "Well, that's twice too much for me.  I've
heard enough."

"Are
you going to answer my question, or not?" Beth pressed.

"If
you believe whatever he told you, then I'm not going to waste my time filling
you in on something that's none of your business in the first place."

"And
it's
your
business who I kiss?"

"Not
anymore."

Another
verbal slap.  "Why do you hate him so much?"

"Because
he ruins people's lives, that's why.  And now you're going to let him do
the same thing to you."

"But
that's not your concern anymore, is it?  You just made sure of that."

William
visibly deflated.  He opened his mouth to speak several times without
success.  "Just be careful, Beth.  He's not a good guy."

"Oh
good, it's Mr. Consideration again!  You know, I had just decided I was
wrong about you at first.  But now you show up on my door calling me a
tramp.  Come to think of it, I'm not sure I've ever gotten anything but
mixed signals from you.  And I'm
done
.  I'm done trying to
decode you, William.  I guess I'll see you later, unless I can help
it."

His
reply was barely audible.  "No, you won't.  I'm leaving,
Beth.  I was on my way over here to say goodbye when I read that
message."  He paused and looked up at her.  "I'm going back
home, and I don't know when I'll be back.  Not that it matters
now."  The last was uttered under his breath.

Hurt
overrode Beth's rage and she let her eyes burn into William's.  She wanted
to scorch him, the way the unshed tears behind her eyes were scorching
her.  Her voice was small but steady.  "You were already
leaving?  And you knew, last night?"

William
had the good grace to look ashamed.

"What
was the point, William?"  She paused and then cut him off when he
opened his mouth to answer.  "Never mind.  I already know. 
I've known since the beginning.  It was always about you having the upper
hand.  About the chase.  And once I gave in, you gave up."

"No,"
he said, his voice dangerous.  His obvious loss of control pleased Beth in
a sadistic sort of way.  "It was never about anything but the way I
felt about you."

"Past
tense noted," she smarted, trying to sound as if she found the whole thing
funny.

His
expression saddened and he took a small step in her direction, his hand stretching
out tentatively toward her.

"Don't." 
She backed away.  "I don't need you to come to my rescue,
William.  I'm not a damsel in distress.  I'm just a stupid girl who
thought first impressions could be wrong."

A
renegade tear slipped down her cheek, but Beth knew she couldn't stop it. 
Part of her wanted him to see her pain.  If he had ever cared about her as
much as he'd let on, then seeing her hurt should bring him a sting of his
own.  The pleasure from this idea was short lived.  Beth turned, ripped
the double glass doors open and stalked inside without turning back.

~:~

William
watched Beth through the glass until he couldn't see her anymore, allowing his
misery full reign.  Why did her eyes have to burn with angelic indignation
while she told him off?  His last memory of her would always be that
image: the wild, ethereal siren bathed in wrath for him.  As William
turned and walked away, he felt a ripping sensation inside and knew that he
would leave a part of himself there on the steps of Longbourn, unclaimed. 
A voice sounded in his head, narrating the moment. 
You'll never be the
same,
it whispered.  Trying to quash the feeling with each step, he
trudged down the stairs of Longbourn and into the parking lot.

He had
a plane to catch.

HEALING

"We
live at home, quiet, confined, and our feelings prey upon us."

~Jane
Austen, Persuasion

Gianna
padded into the bonus room and sat gingerly in the squashy recliner William had
bought for her while she was in the hospital.  He looked up suddenly, as
if broken out of his thoughts, and asked if she was okay.

"I'm
fine.  Just tired……and sore.  Everyone says it takes a while to get
back to normal.  Especially -" she broke off, unable to mention the
cause of her hollow discomfort.  William remained silent.  She looked
up at him and realized he probably hadn't heard a word she'd said after
'fine.'  His eyes wore a glassy sheen as he gazed into the vacant space in
front of him.

"What's
her name?" Gianna asked quietly.

William
snapped out of his trance.  "What?"

"I
said, what's her name?"

"I
don't know what you mean," William answered, his eyes downcast.

Gianna
smiled patiently.  "Okay.  What color is her hair? 
Brown?  Blonde?  Red?"

William
sighed, unsmiling.  "Long.  Brown."

"Curly
or straight?"

"Curly."

"Eyes?"

William
stiffened, clearly uncomfortable.

"Blue? 
Brown?  Green?"

"Depends
on her mood."  He blanched visibly at some memory Gianna wasn't privy
to.  "Most the time they're hazel."

Gianna
rose and hobbled to her brother.  "Oh, William.  Why didn't you
tell me?"

He
took her hand in his.  "I didn't want you to worry about anything
right now."  He pulled her carefully down next to him, putting his
arm around her.

"Does
she know why you left?"

William
didn't respond for a moment.  He clenched his fists, set his jaw. 
"No."

"What?! 
Why not?  Go and call her -
right
now."

William
sat up, rubbing his eyes.  "It's not that simple, Gi."

There
it was again:  the you're-so-young and the world's-a-scary-place tone of
his.  She'd never cared for it.  But now she couldn't stand it. 
Now, it might even be fair to say she had passed him up in the life experiences
department.  He must have read her thoughts, or nearly enough, because he
sat back with a gust of breath, resigned.

"We
sort of got in a fight right before I left.  I said some horrible things
to her that I'm sure she won't forgive me for. 
Idiot!
" 
He smacked himself in the head.

Gianna
reached up to stop his self-attack.  "You
love
her,
right?  And she loves you?"

"Yes,
I love her.  I don't think she feels as strongly about me,
though."  Bitterness surfaced in his eyes.  "There
was….someone else."

"Someone
else?  When?  I thought you said you got in a fight right before you
left."

"Well……
technically
I guess it was before anything happened between us."

"So
you got in a fight over a guy she was with
before
she was with
you?"

"Yeah."

"William,"
Gianna breathed, too tired to tell him off the way she wanted. 
"Sometimes you're so stupid!"

"Gi,
it doesn't matter anymore, not really.  It's over.  It is."

"Convinced
yourself yet?" Gianna asked gently, rewarded with grimace from her
brother.  Being post-partum had its advantages.  She could pretty
much get away with anything she wanted and blame it on hormones.

"Don't
get upset, sis.  You need your rest right now.  Why don't you go lay
down and I'll make some dinner?"

Gianna
folded her arms stubbornly.  "What's her name?"

William
rolled his eyes and Gianna smiled, knowing she'd won the point.  Her
triumph was dampened just a bit by the pain in William's eyes as he said,
"Beth.  Her name is Beth."

"How
did you meet Beth?"

"She's
Jenna's roommate  - best friend.  They grew up together."

"Jenna,
Les's girlfriend?"

"Yeah."

"So
Jenna and Les probably see her every day, then, right?"

"I
don't know.  Jenna was practically living at Les's place when I
left.  All but sleeping there."  He stared off into space
again.  "Besides, Les and Jenna are pretty caught up in each other
right now.  I'm sure he'll be proposing any day now."

"Well,
then you'll see her at the wedding!"

This
startling thought had obviously not occurred to William yet.  He looked
downright alarmed.  Gianna stood slowly, then bent and kissed her brother
on the head.  "Call her, William.  Life's too short."

~:~

William
watched Gianna making her way slowly back to her room.  He could tell
showing the passion she had over the Beth situation had thoroughly drained
her.  And she needed all her strength - she still had a grueling ordeal
ahead of her.  The baby was with a family that was being considered on a
trial basis for long-term placement.  It would be three months before
everything was finalized and Gianna could put it all behind her.  This was
not the time to dredge up his sordid love life.  His sister needed him now
more than ever.

~:~

Eighteen
hundred-ish miles across the country, Beth stood staring down at her bed,
frozen in place.  A scrap of loose-leaf paper with Jenna's familiar scrawl
read, "Picked up your pictures from the Ball."

Beth
felt her heart rate skyrocket as her eyes bored into the offending note, petrified
of what she would find underneath.  It was a bit like the trepidation one
felt before lifting a rock, and finding all sorts of creepy-crawly things
underneath.  Beth took a breath, then picked up the envelope and flipped
it quickly so that the clear window faced away from her.  As if she was
putting her hand into a beehive, she gingerly reached into the envelope and
pulled out the photos.  After a moment of staring at the white backs with
diagonal rows of 0000121812 stamped in blue ink, she slowly flipped the
pictures over.  The one of William and herself was nothing special - he
stood behind Beth with his hands on her hips, as if he didn't really dare touch
her.  But it was the pose of the four of them that caught and held Beth's
attention.

While
Les, Jenna, and Beth all smiled at the camera, William was looking at
her.  With an almost secret smile on his lips, he watched her with
profound, unabashed admiration.  Beth wanted to feel angry, but something
more like regret began filling her up.  Since William's hasty departure
over two weeks ago, she'd managed to convince herself that her reaction to
William's accusations had been justified.  That he'd deserved everything
she'd said to him about Jaxon, about his sister, and especially about him. 
Because for all his declarations and burning looks and kisses, in the end he
hadn't cared about her at all.  Hadn't trusted her in the least.  But
looking down at the photos and the bare emotions on William's face, Beth's fury
melted and her resolve trickled away.  She found herself wondering what
William would think of the pictures.  Would they knock the wind out of
him, the way they had for Beth?

Suddenly,
something occurred to her and she felt around in the envelope, which was
empty.  There was only one of each pose.  Had Les and Jenna divided
the pictures and sent William the other set? 
Not that it matters,
she
told herself as she slid the pictures backward into the envelope and buried
them under a pile in her desk drawer.